Enough with the copyright... All mistakes are my own.
Me and mornings never got along. We've gotten along even less since I had a child. Sofia may be my daughter and when she sleeps she is dead to the world but she does not believe in sleeping in, something she couldn't have gotten from me. I can hear her little feet making their way to my bedroom. Then there is the telltale creak that sounds when you open the bedroom door that signals her trying to sneak in. She's been doing this a lot now. Usually when she wakes up before me she just uses the bathroom and turns on the tv that's always left on the cartoon channel now and that's where I would find her when I got up to get us ready. But ever since I kicked Arizona out Sofia 'sneaks' in here to see if she came back over night. It's heartbreaking every time. You would think she would have gotten a little used to it since it's been over two months but she hasn't. I feel the bed dip under her weight as she climbs in and I have to try really hard not to open my eyes when I feel her stop two inches away from my face staring at me. "You know, staring at me isn't gonna wake me up Toots.. Good Morning, give me a kiss." She closes the distance and kisses my nose. "Mmm, thank you."
She can't hold it in anymore and blurts what brought her in here out, "Mama didn't come home last night." she states as if I didn't know.
"Yea baby remember I told you, Mama is staying at a hotel for a while."
"I remember. I was there with her. I just thought she would come back and stay with us." Here it comes, "Is she mad at me?" It's the same question she asks no matter how many times I tell her no. She doesn't believe me.
Of course not baby. Why would Mama be mad at you?" She just shrugs her shoulders in response. "Come here." I sit up and she crawls over into my lap and I play with her hair as I try to ease her worries. "I know this is all confusing for you right now and Mommy is sorry about that, but your Mama and I are going through some things and it has nothing to do with you okay? Mama and I just need some time apart to try to figure some things out but we both love you so much and I know it's hard to understand right now but we're gonna be okay, alright?" My daughter looks at me with a little doubt but mostly trust. This situation sucks and I wish she were older so I could explain it to her a little better but it is what it is. Arizona and I definitely need to talk about how to tell Sofia what's really going on and prepare her for what is likely to come next, her Mama's not coming home. And I don't know why but I feel like this is my fault again. "Come on, what do you want for breakfast?"
"Cheerios!" she says, and just like that she's not sad about her Mama anymore.
"Of course you do." Our morning goes on as usual, Sofia stuffing her face with dry Honey Nut Cheerios, no matter how many times I try to get her to eat them with milk she refuses, me running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to get her and myself ready for daycare and work. Only a couple of months and she's off to kindergarten. I'm so excited about my baby starting school soon but I'm also sad because Mark won't get to see her start school or anything else for that matter and I'm also sad because I can't talk or freak out to and with Arizona like I had planned. It just dawned on my that I'm basically a single mother now. My daughter came into this world with three parents and now she only has one, well only one stable one. How is this my life? I don't have time to throw myself a pity party unless I want to be late and being a board member now I have to set an example. After I finish tying Sofia's shoes we are out the door.
Today isn't as slow as yesterday but it's still a little slow. No major trauma's came in last night or this morning but I do have two surgeries scheduled. Ponytail, excuse me, Wilson, finally convinced our patient to let us operate so I have that and I have a meniscus repair after lunch so I shouldn't get too bored. My first surgery, the fusion, goes perfectly and before I know it I'm scrubbing out. As soon as I grab a towel to dry my hands and remove my scrub cap the door opens and in walks Arizona. Of course. Normally I would just walk out before she can trap me in here but I actually need to talk to her so I throw the towel in the laundry bin and I take a breath and start, "We need to talk to Sofia soon about what's going on. She's confused and-"
"Yea well I'm confused too Callie. I don't know what to tell her because I don't know what's going on myself." She says as she starts to scrub in. I guess she's done playing sorry and now she's just angry.
I lean against the sink and cross my arms over my chest, "What are you confused about Arizona? Do you need me to recap what happened that got us here?"
"I'm confused because I love you and you love me and none of the rest of it should matter. I'm confused because we're married and when we have problems we're supposed to work them through not separate. I'm confused because you said you wouldn't run and the first chance you got that's exactly what you do... I get it. No one wants a one-legged wife and now you can walk away without feeling guilty. So tell me, exactly what are we telling Sofia?"
Ain't that a bitc.. "Are you kidding me?! You think I'm using your INFIDELITY as an excuse to leave you because you have one leg? I can't believe you said that.. Arizona no one is thinking about your leg but you. I can't believe you think so little of me.. See this is why your little 'none of the rest of it matters' crap doesn't make any sense. There is no trust in our marriage anymore Arizona, of course that matters. I don't trust you and you obviously doesn't trust me so you know what, stay confused, continue to play the victim, I don't care, because no matter what I say you're gonna find a way to refute it, to make me the bad guy so you can come out scot-free. When the hell are you gonna take responsibility for your actions?" I start to storm out but stop and remember why we were even talking in the first place, "And forget I said anything about Sofia. I will talk to her since she's my daughter right?" I don't stay to let her say anything.
I've had it up to here with Arizona. I know she just went into surgery but I don't know how long she will be in there and I don't wanna risk running into her when she gets out because there is no telling what I might say to her right now so I make my way to new-found refuge/hiding spot, the pit. My nerves are to shot now to operate on any patients but I need something to take my mind off of things so I make my way to the nurses station and as the nurse at the desk if she had something for me. Preferably something simple like a splint or something. The nurse hands me a chart and tells me what bed number and I make my way over. Before I pull the curtain open I take a calming breath and pull on my professional mask.
I pull back the curtain as I'm reading the chart so I don't see whose sitting on the bed. "Okay Ms. Holmes, I'm Dr. Torres and I will be your doctor today. Can you tell me what's..." The words die on my tongue when I look up at my patient and see a certain detective, and she's actually smiling.
"So this is where you work.. I gotta say I was hoping it was but I wasn't gonna hold my breath."
Despite me being pissed off to the tenth power not even five minutes ago I find myself smiling like a fool at Savvy. I recheck the chart and sure enough Patient Name: Savannah Holmes. I knew Savvy was short for Savannah.. "Yep, this is where I work.
"I see," she says while she sizes me up. I don't have on my lab coat since I just came out of surgery and my hair is still braided up so I can just put my scrub cap back on for my next surgery in two hours so I feel a little exposed. "You look way too hot to be a doctor." I actually blushed. I'm blushing. I haven't blushed in.. way too long since I have to think about it.
Clearing my throat I'm back in doctor mode. "Ms. Holmes what brings you in today?"
I can see her jaw clench before she answers, "One of those fucker shot at me."
Only now do I look down and notice her holding her right side. I set her chart down and pull on some gloves. "You were shot and you're just sitting here? Why haven't you been taken care of?" I can't believe they would let her sit here with a gunshot wound.
"Calm down Callie. It was just a graze. Got me good too. I tried to put a band-aid on it but I couldn't find one big enough so here I am."
I shake my head at her nonchalance even though I can see her concentrating to keep a brave face. "Let me take a look." She moves her hand and I can see the blood seeping through her shirt. I lift the shirt and see a deep graze that's easily six inches. "The bullet barely missed your ribs. A few inches to the left and it would have..." I don't finish my statement cause I don't want to think about what that bullet could have done. I pull her shirt back down and snap off my gloves. "Come on, I'll stitch you up in an exam room. Give you a little more privacy." I lead her to the first available exam room and grab a suture kit from the en suite closet along with everything else I'll need while treating her.
It's quiet while I pull on a new pair of gloves and set everything up. Some people feel the need to fill silence by talking but I'm not one of them, apparently Savvy is. "See, I told you I do real detective stuff. Now apologize." she demands as I pull the rolling chair up to the bed and sit.
I look at her and smile, "I apologize Savvy. You do more than keep Dunkin Donuts in business. You keep us doctors in business too," I tease. I laugh as she huffs and rolls her eyes. "Lift up your shirt for me please." As she lifts her shirt I feel my eyes follow her hands as they lift her shirts from her slim waist over her abs bypassing the injury I'm supposed to be tending to over her sports bra clad breast and right up over her head as she pulls the shirt all the way off. When I find her eyes I know she caught me looking.
"That way I don't have to hold it up. Figured you'd appreciate it too." she says with the same smirk she had when she thought I was checking her out at the bar.
Clearing my throat I try to change the subject, "So how did you manage to get yourself shot Miss hot shot detective?" I ask, while I clean the wound and numb the area.
She rolls those big brown eyes again and answer, "I didn't get myself shot. I was shot but it wasn't my fault."
"Mmhmm." I feign disbelief.
"Do you want to know or not?"
"Alright alright sheesh. So touchy."
"Anyway, as I was saying, we got a tip about a drug house getting a new shipment so we raided their house and they were not happy about that, naturally, so it turned into a shoot out. As you can tell I wasn't wearing a bullet proof and I was only grazed so that should tell you what a great cop I am." she says cockily.
"Yeah it tells me something alright."
"Enough about me, why'd you look so pissed when you first came to check on me?" Damn, I thought I hid that better. But then it is her job to read people so I shouldn't be surprised I couldn't fool her.
"You don't need to worry yourself with my problems."
"A few days ago when I didn't want to know your problems you laid them on me anyway, and I didn't even know your name. Now that I'm asking, which is something I never do, you get all tight lipped? Come on, spill."
I do the last stitch and snip the thread and sigh. "Arizona."
"The wife?"
"Yea. We had a talk last night and I told her I think we should separate, officially, you know start making steps to divorce, and she didn't like that. And before I came down to the ER we had just had another spat. She.." I pause to figure out how to start, "She basically said that I was just waiting for the opportunity to leave her. That I couldn't handle the one leg thing. All year I've been telling her that I loved her and still found her attractive even if she was a leg short and that basically told me that she didn't believe a word I said. I get that she may be a little insecure now but don't go putting your insecurities on me. And then I got pissed off because yet again she tries to minimize what she did and turn the heat around on me, like who does that." I stop talking before I get mad again and start to trash the used supplies and straighten back up the room. Savvy puts back on her shirt, thank God, it was freaking distracting, and gets up.
"Yea I see why you were pissed. You shouldn't let that get to you Callie. She's hurting and she wants you to hurt too even though you already are. Don't give her the satisfaction... Come here." I look up from writing in her chart to see that she has her arms outstretch to me. Even though I try to brush her off, saying that I'm fine, she doesn't listen and grabs my wrist and pulls me into her. I feel a tear slip as soon as my head hits her shoulder and I get angry at myself for crying over Arizona yet again and more hot tears escape my grasp and it only makes Savvy hold me tighter. I bury my face in her neck and just cry.
"I'm just so tired of this," my words are muffled in her neck and thick with the emotion caught in my throat. "I can't fight anymore. I can't fight for her I can't fight with her, I don't have any more fight left in me... I am fried... I'm done. I can't. And then Sofia. How am I supposed to. And not I can't stop crying." My words and thoughts are all jumbled. She's broken me. How could she do this? She's my wife, you don't destroy the people you love. I don't know how much time passes as I cry my eyes out on Savvy's neck. But when I've finally cried myself dry I notice somehow we've gone from standing up embracing each other to me sitting in Savvy's lap on the exam bed, my arms wrapped around her like a lifeline. I don't move though, I can't move, I'm too drained. She doesn't seem to mind though, if her stroking my hair is any indication she is perfectly content to just sit here and hold me. "You must think I'm a basket case." Is my first coherent sentence which is muffled since my face is still pressed so far into her neck.
I feel her shake her head more than I see it, "Not at all. I think you are so strong Callie, I think you're handling this the best you can. I think your wife is a fucking fool and she better hope I don't run into her today. Her name's Arizona right?"
I let out a slight laugh that sounds more think a whimper and nod my head. We sit like this for a few more minutes, her in her thoughts and me just being empty, before my stomach starts to growl, loudly. Savvy and I burst out laughing at how loud and angry it sounded.
"What are you doing right now?" She asks.
"Sitting in your lap being pathetic."
"Obviously.. I meant what are you supposed to be doing right now, do you have another patient?"
I look up to the wall clock and see that I still have another hour until my next and final surgery. "Not for another hour, why?"
"Because you're buying me lunch, come on." She says as she pushes a me a little to get off her lap.
"What?"
"Yup, wipe your face and change because I am not eating hospital food. That stuff will kill you."
I shake my head and do what she says. Before long I'm getting in her unmarked car and we're off, talking and laughing like the past thirty minutes never happened and I find myself more than once thanking God for bring Savvy to me.
AN: Wow I don't know where any of that came from. Only thing I had planned to write was Savvy ending up in the ER but then all this happened.. Anyway, I hope it flowed and made sense to you all. I was hoping for a little more reviews last chapter but maybe I'll get more this chapter, I did update fast for you guys ;). This is for ItsMeCharlee though, since you asked so nicely and for making me feel like I don't be talking to myself in these author notes ;)
