I am so so sorry for leaving y'all hanging for two months like that. I won't bore you with my excuses. Forgive me? And don't shoot
This chapter was a pain in my ass. Over look any mistakes, I didn't proofread it.
Jouir De !
I'm laying on my back awake watching the blades on my ceiling fan go around and around. It's the night before my date with Savvy and I'm conflicted. Savvy and I had another amazing night in after Arizona picked Sofia up for their weekend together and it was just perfect. We talked - well, mostly I talked - for hours. I never thought I could just talk to someone for hours on end and enjoy it. And when our mouths were otherwise engaged, with each others, I thought, this must be what heaven is like.
Turns out Savvy was serious about the whole going slow thing and while I appreciate her for that, I was left wanting more. So that's why when she left I hurried up and got ready for bed, trying to bring on tomorrow faster. But of course as soon as I was drifting off to sleep dreaming of a beautiful yet mysterious lady cop that I wouldn't mind letting slap cuffs on my wrists, the devil's advocate came out to play, making me second guess the whole dating thing.
What if all this was a mistake? How am I gonna go on a date when the ink on my divorce papers isn't even dry? And how am I expected to even know how to go on a date after not having been on one in years? And what's the point in any of this if it's just gonna end up with her leaving me in a parking lot, or her getting hit by a bus, or if I'm really lucky, her cheating on me?
'Walk tall Torres..' I hear my deceased best friend's voice in my head from when I was on the verge of becoming a hermit because I was scared of getting burned again. 'You can only be brave enough to put yourself out there. You fought, you loved, you lost. Walk tall Torres.' Mark's words hold as much meaning to them now as they did when he said them, maybe even more. All I can do is be brave enough to get back out there, the rest I have no control over but that, I do. I'm not gonna let another personal disaster control me and how I live my life. I don't know how I became a second time divorcee and a single mother but I refuse to become a chicken too. I'm going to start taking back my life starting with my date with Savvy tomorrow. I roll over with a renewed confidence and close my eyes to get back to the lady cop with the handcuffs.
I'm getting ready for half day at work and decided to bring what I'm wearing for my date later on with me. It only took me two outfit changes before I realized I had no idea what to wear because I had no idea where Savvy was taking me. When she asked me on a date she said I would have to dress up but seeing as she's only seen me in my scrubs and lounge clothes anything could be considered dressing up. I decided to be safe than sorry and text Savannah.
Good Morning. -C
It is a good morning. This evening will be even better once I get to see you. -S She's so sweet when she wants to be.
Aww, I can't wait to see you too. I had a question about our date tonight. -C
I'm not telling you where we're going if that's your question.. -S
Well how am I supposed to know what to wear if I don't know where you're taking me? -C
Wear something sexy ;) -S
I make everything look sexy ;) -C
Okay then it's settled. -S
No, it's not settled. That didn't help! Saying dress sexy is not telling me whether where we're going will be hot or cold. Whether I should wear heels or flats, or if a dress or pants would be more appropriate. I don't want to over/under dress. -C
Wear a dress, and some heels. Not too high though. Make sure you're comfortable, nothing too formal. -S
So you're really not going to tell me where we're going? -C
Nope. Just wear something you can move a little in and some heels that won't have your corns hurting too bad after a few hours and that's all I'm gonna say about it. -S
Corns? I think you have my feet confused with yours. And if I look ridiculous I'm blaming you. -C
You know I'd never let you go anywhere looking crazy, not with me you won't. You're with me now, you have to represent. Now, what kind of panties you have on? -S
B Y E ! -C
Don't be like that Callie. I took desk duty to ensure that I would be free to take you out tonight and I'm bored to tears. You could at least humor me, give me something to make it through the day. -S
I ignore Savannah and go about picking out something to wear tonight. Now that I sort of know what to wear I find it in no time and start to get ready for work. I've never been more excited to go to work - at least not lately - and that's only because I know come 6 o'clock I will be on a date with Savvy somewhere. Just thinking about it is making my stomach flip. 'So do what you want, what you want with my body. Do what you want, don't stop lets party.' Where the heck is that music coming from? 'Do what you want, what you want with my body. Do what you want, what you want with my body.' Okay seriously. Only then do I notice my phone screen lit up and a picture of Savvy on the screen. That woman must have set this crazy song as her ringtone. I shake my head and swipe my screen to answer.
"You've been tampering with my phone again I see." I greet her. "I have to remember to put a passcode on it to keep you out."
"That would be pointless, you'd end up giving me the code anyway." She says, and I hear the hustle and bustle of the station in the background.
"What makes you so sure?"
"I have my ways." I can hear the smugness in her voice. Her sexy phone voice. I don't know why we text so much instead of calling. I love her phone voice. I love her voice period. Without even realizing what I'm doing I lay back down on the bed and get comfortable like I have nothing else to do but talk to her.
"Oh really? And what are they?"
"If I tell you, you'd be prepared and they wouldn't work."
"Mhm." A particularly loud voice in her background makes me remember where she is. "Why aren't you working right now?" I ask.
"Because, I have this hot Latina and her panties on my mind and I can't focus." I'm forever smiling like an idiot whenever Savvy complements me, cause it's rare. She prefers to tease and make fun of me instead so I cherish these rare nice moments from her.
"Hot Latina huh? Someone I should know about?" I play.
"Yea, my future baby mama... Zoe Saldana." She plays right back and I can't help but crack up at her. I hear Savvy laughing right along with me before i hear someone call her back to work. "Okay Cal, I have to go. If I mess up something at work today, know it's your fault."
"Don't blame me because your mind is in the wrong place. See you in a few hours." I say and blow a kiss into the phone and hang up.
I lay on the bed for a little while longer, thinking. After a few moments I grab my phone and start a text to Savvy.
Stop daydreaming about straight actresses and their panties when you can daydream about me and my lack there of ;) -C
That outta get her to leave me alone about my panties, which are really basic black panties, but she doesn't need to know that. I finish getting ready for work, make sure I have what I'm wearing tonight in my bag and head out the door, checking my message as I lock up.
Now I really can't focus :D -S
Thankfully the day didn't drag on and I only ran into Arizona once, on the elevator, typical. We weren't hostile to each other though, which was a welcomed change from our previous run ins. I'm in the attending locker room getting ready for my date. I still can't believe I have to start dating again but I guess I just have to get over that. And Savvy really is a great woman and I'm happy she's interested in me. Middle-aged, workaholic, single mother to a small child, so attractive.
I walk up to the mirror to see how I look. Since I don't know where Savvy is taking me I chose one of my little black dresses. You can never go wrong with a little black dress. The dress has a halter top and half of my back is out. It hugs me at the waist and flows over my butt down, stopping mid-thigh. She said wear something I could move in. Now, do I wear my hair up, or down. I grab my hair and pull it up, then let it back down. Up or down, up or down. Oh this is ridiculous, I tell myself and leave it as it is, semi curled and flowing down my back, before I slip on my heels and grab my clutch and leave the locker room.
I don't know if Arizona has left for the day but I take a chance and head to the daycare anyway. My daughter sees me before I see her, "Mommy!" she runs up to me, with a cast still on her left leg and I scoop her up.
"Hi mija."
"Mommy your so pretty." she says and smiles at me, she's so cute.
"Thanks baby. Mommy has a date tonight and I needed to see you before I left. You know you're my good luck charm. Give Mommy kiss and I'll see you in two more sleeps okay? Love you."
"Love you too." She says before she runs back to Zola. As I'm leaving the daycare my phone vibrates in my clutch.
I'm in the lobby. -S
Here goes nothing. I make my way to the lobby, thanking the doctors and nurses who compliment me on the way. I turn the corner and see her. Standing there in a sexy black pants suit with nothing on under her blazer but a necklace that hangs from her neck all the way down to her navel, with some pointed toe heels on, holding a stemless pink flower, is my date. How did I get so lucky? When she looks up and sees me she gives me a dimple popping smile. I never knew she had dimples until this very moment. I can't help but compare them to Arizona's, and Savvy's are more defined, sexier.
When I get close enough to her she greets me, "Hey Gorgeousness.. You look amazing," and pulls me in for a not so quick kiss, which I melt into of course.
"Hey Sexy," I purr when I get my lips back, and snake my hands around her to grab her ass lightly, forgetting we're in my work place. "I don't know if I'll be able to keep my hands off of you tonight." I say and pull back enough to trail a finger along her necklace down her neck, between her breast, and down her torso.
"No one said you had to," she says and puts the flower in my hair, making me glad I left it down. "Perfect," she says when she looks at her work. "Now spin around for me, let me see you." I do a sexy little twirl for her to see all of me. "Damn.. I almost don't want to take you out for other people to see."
"Speaking of which, where are you taking me?"
"You'll see in a few minutes. Come on," she says and holds out her arm for me to hold and I do.
"All the suspense is killing me. It better be good." I say once we get in her car.
"I think you'll have a good time." she tells me and I decided to just sit back and enjoy my night. My night with Savvy. No dying best friends/baby's fathers, no cheating wives and divorce papers, and no kids getting hit by cars, just me and my, Savvy. "What are you thinking so loud about over there?" Savvy asks after a few minutes of silence.
"Just, how glad I am to be out with you, away from all the drama that has been my life as of late." I say with a smile that she returns and grabs my hand and rest our joint hands in my lap. The rest of the drive is spent rehashing our days. And Savvy wouldn't be satisfied until she knew if I was still going commando. I told her if she was lucky she might get to find out for herself. Oh man did it get thick in that car. Luckily we seemed to be at our destination. When I look to see where we are I light up. "You're taking me dancing?" I ask needlessly, seeing as I've been to this Salsa dance joint before. I hadn't even thought about dancing since the amputation, seemed a little insensitive, but I hadn't realized how much I wanted to.
Seeing my face light up makes Savvy laugh, "So I did good?"she asks as she parks and takes off her seatbelt. I nod enthusiastically and start to get out before a hand stops me. "Don't you dare open that door." She says with a smile.
I wait for her to round the car and let me out, "And they said chivalry is dead." I tease, as she helps me out the car.
"Didn't your mom ever teach you not to listen to what 'they' said?" she teases back as we make our was in, the music engulfing us before we even get in good. There's a dance floor on the lower level with several small tables scattered out, there's a bar, a stage, and even more tables if you look up at the, what I assume to be, VIP section. I find myself swaying to the music as we find a table. The place is so inviting. I can't wait to get a drink, or two, or five, and drag Savvy out there to dance but before we do that we need to put some food in our bellies. "So you're going to have to order for me. I don't know what any of this stuff is." Savvy says in a raised voice so I can hear her over the music, and sets the small menu down. They only server a select few dishes. I order for the both of us and our server for the night brings us a pitcher of Margaritas to drink in the meantime.
"So Savvy, do I finally get to know more about you or are we gonna spend all night talking about me again?"
"I love talking about you," she says, avoiding the question.
"I know you do but I want to talk about you now. I want to know more about you Sav." I don't know why she doesn't like to talk about herself.
"Like what?" she asks and drains half of her Margarita.
"Like, I don't know, what made you talk to me that night at the bar? You said you hadn't had any interest in anyone since, you know." I don't want to bring up her wife on our date, only because it seems to put her in a mood when I bring it up, but then again I do.
She smiles at me before she looks away, trying to remember that night that seems like a hundred years ago but was really only like a month or two ago. "I don't know. I just, I saw you when you first came in and I had to do a double take. You were so beautiful, but you looked so sad. I told myself that it was none of my business, to just leave you alone. And it worked for about twenty minutes. But I just had to talk to you, be near you, cheer you up. Something about you just pulled me in and before I knew it we were talking. When I got home that night, after taking you home, I tried to talk some sense into myself. I told myself to stay away from you, to not think about you, but I couldn't, because I do, everyday."
This was the most Savvy has ever let me into her head and it makes me smile internally, but why did she need to stay away from me? "Why?"
"Why what?" she asks and drinks some more.
"Why did you want to stay away from me? Was it because of everything I had told you that night?" I ask a little worried that I may have too much baggage for her.
"No no no. It had nothing to do with that and everything to do with me. I didn't want you getting hurt. I still don't." Now I'm even more confused. She must see this and elaborates, "You remember I told you I'm a widow right?" I nod yes, how could I forget that. "Well remember I said the last time I had a home cooked meal was when I solved a big case I was working on?" I nod again, and she pauses while our server brings our food. "Well, I thought I solved it." she says with a sad smile, "Turns out I arrested the copy cat of the serial killer I was after, but I had already gotten too close for the real killers liking and he set his sights on me. I was cocky though, I wasn't scared, I had been targeted more than once, it comes with the job. But I hadn't had a weakness before, I wasn't married before, and I was then and I should have been scared." She takes a breath and I don't rush her, this is a lot, now I know why she never lets me come to the station, we always meet at the hospital, "He killed her Callie, just like he did his other victims. He did it right in front of me, mocked me for getting the wrong guy and made sure to show me their differences in the way they killed, using Lisa's body. She was pregnant and he didn't even care. I quit homicide and joined the narcotics department after that." She finishes her story and just looks at me with unshed tears in her eyes. I've never seen her like this, she's usually so strong and sarcastic, I would have never known she was walking around with this on her heart. "I'm no good for you." She finally says.
"You let me decide that." I tell her.
"I got her killed Callie, me and my carelessness. Our kid would be Sofia's age now. I don't want that for you, or your daughter. That's why I tried to stay away."
"Well you failed at that didn't you?" I try to lighten the mood. "Don't worry about that now cause you're stuck with me, I'm kind of fond of you." I'm glad Savvy opened up to me, now I understand her a little better, but I decide to take the conversation in another direction. We are on a date and we can have the heavy conversations later. We dig in to our food, soaking up the alcohol in our system before replacing it with more. I'm a little buzzed and the need to dance grows stronger with every passing song so when there is a lull in conversation I stand up and grab Savvy's hand, "Come on, dance with me." I say while already swaying my hips in front of her. She smiles up at me and I see that light come back to her eyes as I pull her up against her will.
"Alright but I'm warning you, I have two left feet." She tells me as I pull her out onto the dance floor and start dancing to the upbeat music. I'm expecting Savvy to step on my toes or have no rhythm or something to indicate why she feels she has two left feet but none of that happens. She is actually a really smooth dancer. She spins me out and pulls me back in perfectly, she even catches me off guard when she spontaneously dips me.
"You little liar." I say to her in an impressed voice, "If I didn't know any better I'd say you have some Latina in you too." I tell her and she smirks at me and keeps dancing. Looking ever so sexy. She is a cocky little something. I decide to not let her out dance me and let go of her hands and back up a little. I start to dance seductively in front of her while she just stands there and watch my hips sway and tease her. I start really feeling myself as I let the music and alcohol move me. I dance back up close to her and turn around, pressing back into her front, one arm snakes around me to pull me closer while the other squeezes my hip. We dance presses against each other like this for the rest of the song. I feel her left go of my hip and pushes my hair to the side, exposing my neck to her. I rest my head back on her shoulder when I feel those lips I'm becoming so addicted to press against where neck meets shoulder. I close my eyes and just enjoy the moment, not remembering a time where I felt so at ease and content.
We dance until I get thirsty and head back to the table. Savvy subbed out her Margarita for water since she has to drive so I finish off the pitcher for us. We eat some more, talk some more, dance some more, until it's almost closing time and i my hands start to drift in some places not acceptable in public. I blame to alcohol. Savvy deems the night over and takes me home, my hands still wandering in the car. She did say I didn't have to keep my hands to myself. And it's her own fault really, she should be so damn hot.
I don't know how we made to my apartment but that's where we are, standing in front of my door. Now, if only the hole would stop moving I could stick the key in it. Locks are overrated. I'm taking all the locks off tomorrow. Savvy gets her laugh at my struggle before she takes over and opens the door for me to go in before her.
I don't even let her get all the way in before I attack her. I feel her smile against my lips but surrenders to my attack no less. Guess she might get lucky after all ..
Happy New Year! Thanks for reading :*
