In celebration of Gintama, the anime series, coming back this month, I've found motivation to update this fanfic. Woohoo! Oh things are getting heated and it's definitely not the nabe. (^_~) Enjoy! Thank you for the reviews and for reading. *HAPPY GLOMPS AND SQUISHES*
The usual copyright disclaimer applies: Gintama is not mine, it belongs to Hideaki Sorachi.
Gintoki hated uncomfortable, awkward situations. In fact, he has a tendency to run away from them if he happen to find himself in the midst of said predicament. It's not like he's afraid or anything, it's just that he thinks he is socially incapable of handling these things properly. There were times he tried to laugh his way out of said situations but ended up making things worse. In other times, he tried to ignore these things completely but ended up hurting the people involved. So he would much rather not face them at all. Or better yet, avoid getting in such situations in the first place.
But today at the Kudokan dojo, he finds himself in a very awkward situation indeed. For there in the Shimura dining room, with Shinpachi's nabe boiling on the table, he was alone with Otae, the source of his guilt and trepidation. And it was taking all his will power to stop his body from high tailing it out of there. Only his guilty conscience kept him rooted to the spot as he casually eat his bowl of nabe.
'Man, why would Shinpachi and Kagura chose to make tea all of a sudden and leave me here alone with Otae-san,' he thought to himself as he stole a glance at the young woman sitting across him, her face clouded by the steam from the boiling nabe. 'Tch...I don't know what to say. I've been rehearsing my apology as Kagura and I walked over here but now I'm drawing a blank. Shit,' the white-haired samurai thought desperately. 'Kami-sama, what the hell should I say.'
Otae looked at him for a second just as he was glancing at her. Their eyes met but she quickly averted hers and continued eating her food silently. Gintoki couldn't tell if she was mad or just ignoring him. Her poker face wasn't giving anything away. But he was sure that she was angry with him. If she wasn't, she would have clobbered him by now. 'But she's giving me the silent treatment. That means she's seriously pissed at me about last night,' he said to himself. 'Come on, Gintoki, speak up. Be the man. Just say sorry already and leave it at that.'
He gathered his courage together and swallowed his food hard, "Ano, Otae-san, about last night..." he said, not looking at her directly.
"Ah Sakata-san, I hope you're enjoying your nabe. It's quite tasty, isn't it? Shin-chan outdid himself, don't you think so?" Otae suddenly said, beaming and all smiles.
"Ah...er...yes, it's really delicious," Gintoki said, confused at Otae's change in demeanor.
"Here, have some more meat and vegetables, Sakata-san," said Otae, offering him the serving spoon. "There's more where that came from. Shin-chan made so much that we can't possibly eat them all."
"Do...doomo," the yorozuya said as he sheepishly took the spoon and put a small helping of meat and vegetables in his bowl. 'Why does she keep calling me Sakata-san when she usually calls me Gin-san? Why is she being so formal with me all of a sudden? Could it be she's trying to distance herself from me? Yabe. This is quickly escalating.'
Otae went back to eating stoically. She really had the strong urge to dump the boiling nabe on the naturally-permed samurai who insulted her last night, but she remained in control. She had to push her rage deep inside the recesses of her heart. 'He doesn't exist. He just happened to be my little brother's employer, that is all. He's nobody to me.' This was the mantra that she's been saying to herself ever since he joined them for lunch. 'Really, the nerve of this jerk coming here and ruining my day. I so want to strangle him right now!'
Gintoki saw what looked like a black aura surrounding Otae. 'Kami-sama, she really does hate me. Damn it, I had better say my apology now or she'll never speak to me again.'
"Otae-san, I'm sorry about what I said last night. I really didn't mean it," he said without hesitation. "I was just..."
"Ara, I wonder what's taking Shin-chan and Kagura-chan so long to make tea?" Otae abruptly said, cutting Gintoki off. "It shouldn't take that much time to boil water and steep the tea leaves, right?"
"Hmmm, well the water should be at the right temperature. And you know, depending on the kind and quality of the tea, it may take 10 or 15 minutes to steep it thoroughly to give it that robust flavor," Gintoki replied thoughtfully, seemingly unaware of Otae's ploy to change the subject. 'Wait a minute, she did it again!'
"Oi, iikagen ni shiro. This is the second time you didn't let me finish what I have to say," Gintoki said between gritted teeth. He has had enough of Otae trying to evade him and not letting him apologize properly. "I'm trying to say sorry here and be over and done with, but you seemed to be not listening. Really, if it will make you feel better, why don't you just kick me in the face or dump this hot nabe on my head. I would rather you do violent things to me than not listen or talk to me at all!"
Otae didn't flinch at Gintoki's outburst. She remained like a stone, staring at the nabe pot. Usually, her old self would just give in to her violent tendencies to get this misunderstanding with Gintoki quickly and deftly resolved. After that, she would feel better and forget his transgression. But this time, her wounded pride was in the way and she could not simply forgive and forget. She would show Gintoki just how hurt she is by doing the exact opposite.
She turned to him and gave him her most sweetest smile and said, "Hmm...maybe I should go check on them. Kids these days seemed to be getting way too distracted to finish anything." She stood up and headed to the door.
"Ah souka. You're trying to runaway," said Gintoki in a mischievous tone as if to rile Otae up. "You don't want to talk about it anymore and just want to forget the whole thing, right? That's fine by me, Otae-SAMA. I won't mention it EVER again." He felt the sarcasm of the last words he said roll off his tongue, but it was too late to stop them from coming out of his mouth.
Otae stopped by the door, her back towards Gintoki. She didn't want to say anything to him but his words stung her. She clenched her fists tight, willing herself not to cry in anger. "You know what, it was my fault I brought up the character poll with you. And I may have overreacted and became illogical because of it. But this doesn't give you the right to insult me," she said, trying to keep her voice even and emotionless. "Thinking that it is enough to say 'sorry' to me and be over and done with wounds my pride even more. You know, it hurts a lot to find out how you truly see me - as someone uninteresting with no redeeming value whatsoever - so it's alright to just say 'sorry' to her and go on your merry way. Because as you said, I'm a flawed character and it's the only thing I deserve." Her voice quivered but she held it together. "Just the same, SAKATA-SAN, I thank you for taking care of Shin-chan and I hope you will continue to take care of him. As for me, I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore."
With that, Otae opened the door and went to the kitchen where Shinpachi and Kagura were brewing tea. Gintoki could hear her forced cheerful voice in the background but all he could think about was the last words she told him, 'As for me, I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore.' He felt something pricked at his heart as the words echoed in his mind. He now fully realized how hurt Otae really is. He didn't know he was such an insensitive bastard when he said those things to her last night. How could he unknowingly hurt her like this? Gintoki knotted his forehead. The headache came back in full force. 'Tch...I just made things worse between us!'
He wanted to get up and go after her. He wanted to seriously talk to her about the whole thing. He wanted to sit her down and explain to her how he really feels and how sincerely he wanted to patch things up with her. How he didn't want her to hate him or cut him off from her life. But how can he do it now? He just lost his confidence after she made it known to him how truly hurt she feels. He never felt so ashamed in his life. Earlier, he was thinking once he said his apology to her everything would go back to normal as if nothing happened. They would both be in good terms again and that was because a simple sorry was said. How stupid can he be? And now his guilt came back a hundredfold.
"Sorry for the wait, Gin-san," said Shinpachi as he entered carrying a cast iron teapot. "It took a while to boil the water and steep the special green tea. Right, Kagura-chan?"
But Kagura wasn't listening. She was looking intently at Gintoki as she reached for her bowl of nabe. "Gin-san, you look different. Like you have a sad aura about you. Did something happened?"
Gintoki quickly changed his gloomy face and said, "That's just your imagination, Kagura. Hey Shinpachi, what took you two so long to make tea? Geesh, my throat is parched. There's no water on the table so I was expecting the tea would come soon. Good thing I didn't choke on the nabe while you two were gone. Hehe."
"Gomen, gomen," Shinpachi said, smiling as he poured tea for Gintoki. He had sense the same gloominess when they came in the room. His aneue emitted the same feeling when she went into the kitchen earlier. While she talked with them animatedly, her eyes were distant and sad. And Shinpachi knew this only too well about his sister.
"Ah where is Otae-san?" Gintoki asked nonchalantly as he tried to look for her furtively. He honestly didn't know how he would face Otae after their encounter earlier. He imagined it would be more awkward than he could bear and he would most likely make up an excuse to leave immediately. With the huge amount of guilt and shame he was feeling at that moment, he really wouldn't be able to face her after that.
"Anego said she has to meetup with her coworker and accompany her shopping," Kagura quickly said, still eyeing Gintoki with suspicion while eating her nabe. "So she left. What did you tell her Gin-san? Did you two have a fight when we were gone?"
"Maa, maa, Kagura-chan. Aneue did tell me earlier that she might go out today," said Shinpachi, trying to direct attention away from the obviously sullen Gintoki. His suspicion was correct, his sister and Gintoki had a misunderstanding. And by the looks of it, they didn't reach a resolution. Both seemed unwilling to come out in the open and show their true feelings to him and Kagura. He hated being treated like a kid but if they both want to be private about it, he really can't do anything. 'I think they needed more time to process whatever it is that came between them,' thought Shinpachi. 'I just hope it won't take too long.'
"Oi, oi. You seemed to be too quick at pointing a finger at me, Kagura. Who knows Otae-san left because you were eating too much nabe. Or maybe it's because Shinpachi took way too long to make the tea. Heh. Plus, we didn't have a fight. We actually had a nice conversation like we normally do while you two were goofing off, preparing the tea," said Gintoki, pretending to be annoyed. "Geesh, quit imagining things and just eat your nabe!"
But deep inside, Gintoki had a sinking feeling as he thought, 'Yeah we had a nice conversation alright. A nice disaster of a conversation.' He sighed inwardly. 'How could I ever make up to her after all this freaking mess that I did.'
To be continued...
