Chapter 15: Lost in Time
Word Count: 19,492
Sorry for the delay. Right as I finished the chapter it was removed from my computer and I had to re-type it. Also was moving for awhile. But look, long chapter! Please enjoy.
He remembered when he had been locked up in 1854 and wasn't allowed out until 1865. Eleven long years in an isolated cell and he had gone past insanity. Of course, he hadn't known how long it had been until he got out. It hadn't felt like eleven years. It felt like a hundred. Time was usually warped for countries, but usually if felt like it was going by quicker than it was. A couple hundred years was like twenty, a thousand sixty, maybe.
But here, in the cold, dead silence with nobody to talk to and no company beside his thoughts, it felt like an eternity would go by, or perhaps five minutes. It was all the same. He could already feel the insanity, the pressure on his mind. The irritability, the desperation, the fear. They were becoming stronger until they would just claim him completely. Until he would be nothing more than an animal when he got out, needing to learn what he missed and try and become human again.
This place had never left his mind, not after nearly two hundred years. It had stuck with him, a nightmare. He had feared it, feared he was still inside and that the rest of the world was an illusion to cope with it. Maybe that was true. How was he to know, nothing lived in here, it was just him. Perhaps there was no world. He could feel thousands of people inside of him, but that was crazy wasn't it? All in his head maybe, who could feel people inside of them? Obviously he was a fucking loony. But it was beyond that, if the world didn't exist and he was just something trapped inside a box in the universe, what was he? What was the universe?
Was his own existence just as imaginary? Alfred groaned, rubbing his head and turning into the bed. The bed was here, so clearly somebody had made it, he could feel it, touch it. Somebody put it here, but he hadn't seen anybody. How long had it been? Surely more than a month, but what if not? What if it had only been a few minutes.
His head hurt. Calm down, all this loony thinking will drive you crazy. But what else was there to do but think and sleep? Food would come out of the floor in a little hole every once in awhile. They turned off the shower though except for the mornings and evenings when he had been using it as white noise.
Now, there was only silence and nothing in the room but the bed, shower, and toilet. Each made of the same hard metal that the place made of. Shiny, hard, impossible for him to break. He stared at the fabric of his pillow. At least he had been given that, that and a blanket. Same clothes, but he could wash them whenever he wanted in the shower and leave them to dry. He couldn't stare at the ceiling any longer, it was too metallic, too empty… too dead.
He sat up slowly, staring at the wall even though he didn't want to. He slammed his head into it. Once, twice, three times a charm. His head hurt more and there wasn't even a dent in the cursed metal. He closed his eyes, aware of somebody whimpering. Not him, but who else?
Clenching his fists into the blanket he gritted his teeth, keeping his eyes closed. He needed to get a grip. My name's Alfred. I'm a country of America. I'm not crazy, there are others like me. Matthew Williams, known as Canada, my brother. England, or Arthur Kirkland, sort of brother. Mexico, annoying prick. Cuba, asshole. God, I'd give anything to even see that fucking bastard. Concentrate Alfred, don't lose yourself already. He rubbed his head into the metal, trying to focus. Just had to focus… Who else was there?
Just remember people. China, Yao Wang, he wants money from you because you borrowed a lot. It's in the trillions now. Will it be higher when I get out? How long have I been here? How much longer will I stay? Alfred let out another whimper, but it sounded different. No, no, not yet. Calm down. There's Kiku Honda, except he'll introduce his name backwards cause he's Japanese. Alfred smiled at the thought of his friend, He's good. Nice. We play video games together, eat sushi or that good ice cream he has. Will he still be my friend? Will he remember me, if I ever even get out?
Alfred moved his hands to his head, pulling at his hair as if that would help keep his sanity in check. He wasn't pulling the strands out though, and he took pride in that. His boss had been angry, so very angry this time. Furious. Alfred was promised to be in here a long time. Forever maybe. Maybe they were hoping for a new nation, one that wasn't corrupted. Would he be stuck forever in here, lost to time and sound?
He shook his head. That was stupid, his boss knew that a new nation couldn't just spring up from the ground. America itself would have to die first, and he wouldn't want that, nobody would! Alfred swallowed. But Russia's boss… he was angry too. That would change things, they thought he was hurting, harming. No, he was trying to help, he knew he was. He didn't think he did anything wrong, did he? Did he? What did he do wrong? He banged his head against the wall.
Don't you dare. Don't you dare Alfred. But he felt himself slipping. He was breaking. This was too much. He didn't care how long it had been, it didn't matter, a day, a year, he was breaking. Think, just think straight. Ivan, you remember him. You helped him, really helped him, other countries tried to use him. Was I trying to use him? I don't think so, but that's what everybody's saying, is it true?
He dug his nails into his scalp, It's his fault. It's his fault I'm in here. Alfred winced at his own thought as if somebody had slapped him. It was just so loud and angry. But no, it wasn't Ivan's fault. It's mine. This was my choice. I knew they were going to do this and I didn't care. Don't forget that it's your own fault. Alfred didn't want it to be his own fault. Why would he choose this? What in his mind made him choose this? But what choice did he have? Ivan had been in pain. So much pain. For the both of us. Just let me out. Please.
A sob escaped Alfred and he tore his hand out of his hair to bring his hand down on the wall hard. It didn't matter, he was shaking violently and sounds of defeat poured from him in forms of sobs. He wasn't crying, not yet anyway. "Please, fuck. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Just let me go. Please, please. I'll be good I swear, I won't- I'll- Just god, please, let me out." He knew they could see him, that they were watching. He also knew, deep down they wouldn't come, but that didn't stop him from begging, and later screaming and yelling. But nobody came, they never would.
Alfred stared up at the ceiling. He had slept a lot since he had broken down begging, but now he just stared at the ceiling. He wasn't eating, maybe he'd starve to death. It hurt and he was weaker, but he didn't care, about anything, not even enough to move.
That wasn't true, he would go to the bathroom, and shower. Showering was when he heard noise most, he couldn't force himself to skip it. But his appetite had faded into nothing. It was easier than he thought it would be to not eat. He wanted it badly, but a part of him didn't want it, and that seemed stronger. After the first two days the pain left him, his body seemed to realized that it would just take energy to make him be in pain, and that it would need that energy later.
He wished he could die. More than anything, he wished he could die. Why did he exist if he couldn't die? Especially when he wanted to. Then he wouldn't be here, he'd be somewhere else, somewhere with people, and noise and people. Lots of people he could talk to, and they would talk to him. Forever. Never be alone or in this silence again. His eyes drifted shut, the only thing to do in this place was sleep, and with energy running low, he was doing it a lot now.
Sleep was slow coming, he wasn't even sure if it was sleep. The world seemed disjointed and strange and when he opened his eyes sometimes he got the feeling time had past before he was dragged back under, but he still felt like he was staring at the ceiling, just thinking like normal, he could even see it sometimes, in what could have been dreams. But he would also dream of being outside, being elsewhere. He knew he slept then, which made going back to the half-awake state even worse.
Then there was a sound. He bolted up, so shocked by the sound. It hadn't been in his dreams, though he seemed to have fallen deeper asleep for awhile because he felt a bit dizzy when he sat up. What had the noise been? He looked around cautiously, freezing when he saw Matthew there. "M-Mattie?" He asked hopefully, had the other somehow convinced his government to let him out, or had somehow managed to mount a rescue? But no, there were no doors opened anywhere... So he hadn't been let in and Alfred wasn't getting out. But then... "What're you doing here?" He wasn't trapped in here like him, was he?
"I'm not here to get you out Alfred." Matthew said, smiling that soft smile that he used to assure somebody of something.
"Then... What-"
"To talk. Except I'm going to talk," Matthew started forward, "And you're going to listen." He stopped before Alfred's bed and knelt down, smiling softly up at him. "I don't get that opportunity much, eh?"
"Listen, Mattie, we should talk after we get out of here and-"
"No." Matthew said in a voice not so quiet, a normal tone, but on him, and in such a quiet place, it was loud. "You won't listen to me then, you never do."
"I-I listen!" Alfred protested a bit, feeling a bit hurt at the accusation. Okay, so maybe he talked over Matthew sometimes, and the other always seemed a bit irked by that. But he didn't completely ignore Mattie like others did!
"No you don't." Matthew said, sighing out softly, "Alfred, I'm telling this so you understand. You never listen to anybody, including me, and including your boss. Why do you think you're here in the first place?"
"B-But Ivan, he-"
"When did you start using his human name Alfred?" Alfred closed his mouth. When did he? No, it was just that Ivan was smaller and... He'd just gotten used to saying it to differentiate between the two. That was all... "Was it really worth it, Alfred; helping him, if this is where it got you?"
"I... Yes." He didn't know, was it worth it? Should he just have left it well enough alone?
"You aren't even friends with him, were you just attracted to him like everybody else?"
"No! I wanted to help! I did!"
"To the point you blow up a building, killing woman inside, and then going and torturing a man? That doesn't sound at all like you. It sounds as though you've been corrupted honestly."
"No! I haven't! I... My reasons made perfect sense at the time! I just... Can't remember them right now..." What were his reasons? He couldn't remember them right then, but he was sure they had been good reasons. He was positive!
"If you can't remember them, they must not have been that important." Matthew sighed heavily, "I just don't understand why you have to act so stupid Alfred," Alfred winced at the word, he wasn't stupid... "rushing into things that nobody wants your help with. This was the best solution, you're lucky it didn't cause an international incident!" Lucky? Was this lucky? "You don't think about anybody else, other then yourself. Perhaps you have good intentions, but that doesn't matter if you don't think about how your actions can negatively affect others!"
"I just... I want to help..."
"Look what helping's gotten you Alfred." Matthew sighed, rubbing his forehead. Alfred looked away, ashamed. Was he really that bad? "You meddled in Russian affairs this time Alfred, do I need to tell you how bad that is?"
"No..." He muttered quietly.
"Well I obviously do if you ignored how bad it was and continued on what you wanted to do without listening to anybody!"
"I'm sorry..."
"Not sorry enough." Matthew sighed, "I think it's a good thing your here, it'll give you time to think about what you should do."
"No, Mattie, please!" Alfred's head shot up, desperation gripping him, "I don't want to stay here! I'm sorry really! Just make them let me out, please? I've learned my lesson already, I swear!"
"Alfred... You know I'm not in charge of being able to release you. That's your country. But most of us have agreed that this is for the best for the time being." So... Nobody was going to help him, of course not, why would they? Alfred hung his head, listening as Matthew left, but not trying to stop him. He brought his knees to his chest once the other was completely gone. That had... That had been an illusion, hadn't it? He rubbed his head. He was tipping over the edge. Still, even if it meant he was crazy, and even if Matthew continued saying such cruel words, Alfred wanted it back, wanted something to talk to even if it made him cry.
Just as Matthew did, Arthur visited him, but he was much more blunt and cruel about what he said, Alfred tried to ignore him, as much as he had wished something to talk to, he didn't want it to be so cruel. But it seemed that was what he got. Awhile went by after that visit and Alfred couldn't help wondering why he was imagining them saying such things to him. In such a state, he should have heard things that would comfort him, to prevent him from breaking, right? So why was he hearing ridicule? Was he just somebody who enjoyed being talked down to? No... He didn't think he enjoyed it, he always felt so terrible while they spoke and awhile afterwards. Maybe... It was suppose to give him something to fight against, to prove them wrong, that he was in the right... But he didn't feel much like fighting, let alone against images his lonely mind conjured.
"So stupid... Arguing with myself." Alfred muttered, sitting with his legs up to his chin, back facing the open room as he sat on the bed, staring at the metal that he could see a warped figure though. But, maybe the metal wasn't warping anything, maybe it showed truth. They were all warped, all of them. "They're probably watching too." Alfred muttered, he hadn't seen any camera's but he couldn't imagine them not having them to keep an eye on him, make sure he didn't somehow escape. Always watching him. He rubbed his head against the shiny surface before him. How long had it been? Did it matter? Not really... Were they ever going to let him out? He didn't know. A squeaking sound that usually signaled another visitor sounded and Alfred just continued rubbing his forehead against the wall.
Another to tell him all the things he was doing wrong - that he had done wrong to them. How he was useless and had just used them or betrayed them, how cruel he really was. "America?" Alfred froze, going completely rigid at the voice.
He turned his head to look over his shoulder to see if his ears deceived him. They hadn't, Russia was there, looking around with a look of dull interest in his eyes, though his smile was there. Not little Russia, but the actual one, tall and proud and please, not him. Alfred didn't move, watching the others movements. Not him, not him. So many things he'd done that were wrong, he didn't want to hear it, he couldn't. Maybe the point of this was not to make him fight insanity then, but to drive him into it. Perhaps even his own mind had given up. Ivan met his gaze, smile still there. "So this is your punishment?" Alfred didn't move, didn't even dare speak. Just waited for the other to say how pathetic it was that he had broken so easily. Wasn't he suppose to be strong? The hero of the world, but of course not, he wasn't a hero, Ivan would know that. The always much too real image tilted it's head. "Not going to show me around the place?"
Alfred let out a snort but turned his head back to face the wall. That was funny actually. But no, the image wasn't there, it just wasn't. "Go away." Alfred muttered, hoping that that would work. It didn't, it never did.
"That is quiet rude. I traveled quiet a bit to come see you after all." Alfred shook his head, "Hm... You never did have many manners I suppose. So tell me, what exactly is it that you were trying to get out of me, hm?" Alfred turned to look, only to see Ivan much closer then before, almost next to him. He startled, moving to the head of the bed and glaring at Ivan, curling his lip a moment before he processed the question.
"What... I was trying to get?" Alfred said slowly.
Ivan simply hummed, sitting on the end of the bed after a moment, "When I was younger."
"Oh... I-"
"Were you really thinking you could take advantage of me? Even if I was smaller, I would have found out, coming back. And indeed... It has ended you here." Alfred went silent, staring at the other. Taking advantage? He had though, hadn't he? He hadn't meant to... But that was what happened, there was no denying that. "Well, are you going to answer or stare at me all day with that sad look?"
"I wasn't trying to take advantage... I just wanted to help."
"Of course, that is your excuse for meddling in anything, is it not?" Alfred looked away, towards the ground. Always the same. Ivan let out a heavy sigh. "We will speak more about this later. Come, Matthew is waiting." Alfred winced at that, not moving. Ivan gave another irritated sigh and stood up on his own accord. Alfred waited for him to leave, but instead the taller grabbed his wrist, pulling him forward off the bed. Alfred stumbled and was yanked along. He frowned, not liking that and thinking about pulling away, but then decided he didn't have the energy or heart to do so, just following. He blinked though, tightening his hand around Ivan's. It felt... There, and solid. His usual images had touched him before, a pat on the head there or whatever, but he never really felt them. Not really, he did... But it was different.
He looked up as he was led out of his metal prison, looking at Ivan's back. Was this real? Or was it a fantasy? Had he sunk into his mind and was now dreaming of escape? Perhaps. "I-Ivan?"
"Do not call me that." Russia growled a bit, but didn't turn back.
"This is... Real?"
"If you are questioning that, then you are needing serious help, I think. And do not think you are getting off so easily. Once you are more yourself we will be talking about what you did. Always meddling in others affairs." Alfred smiled, looking down.
"I'm glad." This might be real... maybe. He would pretend it was, even if it wasn't. Ivan didn't respond and Alfred just stared down at his own feet. It was nice to be waking, and they didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. After a bit though, Ivan opened up a door and they stepped outside. Alfred hissed, bringing his hand up that Ivan just released and blinking rapidly. His eyes took a little to adjust, but the air smelled and felt just... Amazing, he couldn't describe it, it was like he was being able to smell it for the first time. Once his eyes cleared, he could see blue skies and people and buildings and it all looked just so wonderful. It was a bit too loud for his liking and he felt a sudden headache coming on, but even that couldn't deter what he was feeling.
"Alfred!" Looking towards the voice, he was suddenly wrapped into a hug. He grinned when he realized who it was, wrapping his own arms around the other and just enjoying the feeling of having somebody to hold. Feeling like his smile would split his face after so long of not smiling, Alfred lifted the other up and spun him, ignoring the small protest the other gave before he set him back down and let go of the others waist, though moving his hand to hold onto the others, not wanting to be deprived of contact, part of him afraid that the other would suddenly disappear if he wasn't holding him. Matthew gave a breath as he was let go, giving Alfred a glare, though it was half-hearted and didn't mean much with the smile on his face. Matthew just shook his head before looking at Ivan, who was standing back and observing the scene. "Ah... Thank you Russia."
"Hm?" Ivan hummed, looking at Matthew, "Of course. I have questions to ask him, but it can wait. He seems insane."
"Like you can talk." Alfred hissed. Ivan just smiled at him, letting out a small, creepy and forced giggle. Same old Russia. Ivan waved at the both of them and walked down the stairs leading down to the street. Alfred sighed, closing his eyes and enjoying the breeze, though the sound was really getting to him. He opened his eyes and looked towards Matthew, who was watching him closely. He smiled, "Come on, I want to go someplace quiet. But outside... definitely outside."
"Alright." Matthew nodded, turning and once again Alfred found himself being led, this time into a car. He sat at the passenger side door and opened the window, sighing as he inhaled the air. It had never smelled so wonderful before. He could see Matthew smiling out of the corner of his eye before the engine was revved - so very loudly and then they were on their way.
Alfred sighed as he laid across the grass in his own back yard. The noise level was still higher then he was used to - simple things like the wind blowing through the grass or when he shifted and it made noise. He would get used to it though, slowly. "Why did you say thanks to Ivan?" He asked, looking over to Matthew who he was laying so close to that their sides touched. He still desperately wanted human contact.
"Since it was an issue between your two countries I went to talk to him to see if he could convince the American government to let you out... I know you don't like asking him for help, but I wanted you back..."
"No complaints... Just this once." Alfred sighed, resting his chin into his arms that were folded before him, not minding that his entire front felt like it was getting damp from the wet grass. Seemed like Ivan was back to normal, which meant the spell went right... That was good. "So ah... How long was I gone?"
"A little over two years."
Alfred winced at that. Two years was a long time to go without sun or human contact, even for a country. "Wow... I guess I know why I was getting so crazy then... I still kind of am." He was trying to ignore it, as much as one could ignore impending insanity. Which was not at all, but he was just trying not to think. That usually helped... A bit... Maybe. He didn't even know.
Matthew just gave him a smile, nudging his shoulder against Alfred's, "You have time to get back to normal, don't worry about it. I'll be here for a bit too, eh?"
"Thanks Mattie... You're the best." Alfred smiled, closing his eyes to once again just enjoy the feelings around him.
Another year was as long as he was able to put it off, but it couldn't be put off forever. Alfred sighed heavily, giving a loud knock on the large door before him. He rocked back and forth on the soles of his feet, waiting. It was a big house so he might have to wait a little. He wasn't too sure how things were going to happen. The whole situation itself was strange.
Then again, Alfred wasn't entirely positive he was glad the other was back. He was, Russia was important in the world, being the largest country and all. Plus Alfred didn't really know what he would do if the other suddenly just vanished, not to mention it put smaller Ivan out of pain. But it made smaller Ivan vanish from this world completely. And that was where he wasn't too happy. He knew it was the right choice, all in all, but what he wanted and what was right didn't always line up. Besides, he didn't think he could have forgiven himself if he hadn't sent Ivan back. Ivan would have to become Russia and deal with a new world he didn't know as well as world wide politics not to mention new world pains.
So he would have to let that go, happy or not, that was how it was. The question was, did it actually have any affect on Russia? Did he remember? When he went back was it like it never happened? Licking his lips, Alfred glanced around the house. The door should have opened by now. Frowning, he rang the doorbell before pulling his hands back into his pocket, though they were freezing from the few moments they had been exposed to the cold weather. He moved from foot to foot. Damn it. Why wasn't he answering?
Today was the day they were suppose to meet. He had already seen his boss go to the meeting with Ivan's. Now here he was, suppose to be talking with Ivan as well. But no, apparently Ivan either wasn't answering or was gone. Alfred reached out and tried the door knob. Locked. Well, considering he had gotten dropped off here until things could be settled, he had three options. One: break in. Two: Stand out in the freezing cold waiting for Ivan to come back, which was who knew how long. Three: try walking back in the freezing cold in unfamiliar territory with no known landmarks.
Alfred grabbed the door handle and twisted it, hearing it break under his grip. Clearing his throat as if somebody was watching, even though he knew he was alone out here. He opened the door, closing it behind him as best he could and letting out a sigh. He grabbed a small end table and pushed it against the door, hoping that would keep it closed. The other could charge him, he didn't care, he was warm now.
Whipping his hands off on each other, he paused when he heard something quiet. Was the other actually here and had just ignored him and left him standing out in the cold? Well fuck him, Alfred so was not paying for the door anymore. He walked through the eerily quiet house, unwanted thoughts of haunted places coming to his mind. He pressed on, going towards the noise, which was becoming more tangible, more there. Finally, he came to a room where he heard Russian voices, stepping inside the dark but open room.
A television. There was nobody in the room as far as he could tell in the dim lighting. His paranoia rose quickly. He heard a creak behind him and his hand flew to his gun around his waist. Something hard and painful hit the side of his head, making his vision explode into hundreds of stars before darkness made them fade.
Ivan turned on the lights, looking down at the unconscious blond, blinking a moment before letting out a light 'Oh'. He sighed a bit and put his pipe back in his jacket, leaning over to pick up the dead weight of the other, carrying him to a more convenient part of the house.
Alfred let his head lull to the side, feeling a massive headache coming on. His head was killing him. Then he remembered why. He was in Russia. No further explanation needed. Crazy shit usually happened to him here. Why was he sitting up? He shifted his hands a bit and hear a familiar clank. Oh for the love of Pete! "Ah, you are awake!" Ivan's familiar voice came through. Alfred opened his eyes to glare at the other, who was sitting happily in a chair, putting down an old looking book he had been reading, snapping it shut. At least this room was well illuminated.
"Yeah... And I was knocked unconscious painfully why?" Alfred growled out, shifting so he was sitting up, trying to ignore the pain on the left side of his head, moving his hands in the iron cuffs. Why had it seemed that to be a habit of the other?
"To be fair you broke into my house. I noticed my door is damaged."
"You weren't answering."
"I was dozing off, I did not hear it. You could have tried more." Who wanted to try more when they were freezing? Alfred glared. "Good! Now that is settled, we can talk about what's important."
"Why I'm chained to the wall, for starters."
"That is not important." Ivan hummed, tilting his head to the side almost curiously.
"Yes it is! You can't just chain me up!"
"I did not want you leaving. You always do when you do not know what to do."
"Hey! Not always!" Alfred snapped, but he sunk down to sitting comfortably again - or as comfortable as this could be, "Just... Say what you want."
"Well, obviously about your meddling in my country while I was... gone."
"Gone where?" Alfred asked curiously.
Ivan looked him over, seeming to be debating on the answer, "Does not matter. I have been informed by my government on some things. For example, I was small and could only speak old slavic, which you and Lithuania both were here to translate. You however, seem to be held responsible for the death of twenty citizens, the destruction of a building and a man suspected of being the head of a major mafia now in prison." Ivan smiled at him, "Any comment?"
"Wait... So you're actually believing what your government told you? Come on, they never know jack!"
"True. And no, I do not believe them. For some reason they believe you went hostile and decided to I do not know... Influence my country? Just murder Russians? It is unclear what they think."
"And... You know that isn't true, right?"
Ivan gave him a funny look, still smiling at him, "You were here longer then a month. If you had wanted to do such, you would have caused a lot more damage. So no, I do not believe those are your motives. However, I do not know what exactly your motives are."
"Um well... Do you... remember anything?" Alfred asked, finally getting his question out in the open.
"Remember what exactly?"
"Well... What went on while you were ah... here, the younger you I mean."
"Yes, and no." Ivan sighed heavily, not seeming too happy with Alfred's question. Still, he looked at him. "It happened, yes. But in my perspective, I came to this time, went back and lived until now. Time fades all memories after all. You can try and guess how long it has been though."
"Ah... Well... I knew it was around Ivan the great, right?" Alfred saw the corner of Ivan's mouth twitch up a bit and he nodded. Right well... Alfred had no idea when that was. He wasn't so great with history, especially outside his own existence. Wait... Was Ivan the great before his time? He didn't know, he hadn't paid attention to Russia of all people when he was starting to live. "Ah... few hundred years? Like... Two, three?" Alfred asked hopefully. Ivan chuckled, looking honestly amused with his struggle. "Shut up you bastard! I don't pay attention to history!"
"Obviously." Ivan smiled, still seeming amused, obviously paying the insult no mind. "It is 2013 now, da? So... ah... A little over five hundred years now I suppose." Alfred made a soft whistling sound. To think Ivan was already an established country before Alfred was even there was something he sometimes forgot. Not just forgot, it was just mind boggling to think about sometimes, not just with Russia, but a lot of older countries too.
"Wow... Okay... So..." That would have been about a hundred years before his first official settlement even. A lot could happen in a hundred years, still, "Well I still remember things from four hundred years ago, so I mean... You do too, right? Remember what happened I mean."
"Some things... Not enough to base an opinion off of. I still have no idea what you were planning, but I doubt that your motives were entirely innocent."
"Hey! They totally were, okay!"
"Really?"
"Yes!"
"Explain how messing around in my country was innocent."
Alfred knew the other was referring to the damage and not sleeping together, but did he have to phrase it as 'messing around'? Stupid commie. "Ah well, see what happened was Prussia actually sent you off to the Mafia, and seeing as how you couldn't speak English, or Russian at the time and um..." You were really fuckable? Yeah, Alfred decided not to say that. "I figured you'd need some help."
"So, you are saying it was your hero complex then?"
"It's not a complex." Alfred grumbled under his breath.
"That part, I can buy. That does not explain why you slept with me."
"Oh um... Ah..." That was harder to explain.
"We have no sexual relations now, so the only reason I can think of you sleeping with me while I did not understand this world, or our relationship, is manipulation."
"Manipulation?" Alfred frowned.
"I am giving you an opportunity to explain yourself, obviously." Alfred suddenly understood. Alfred wasn't let out because he was forgiven. He was let out of that small little room so Ivan himself could evaluate him and see if he was guilty of anything. Personal or country wise. If he answered wrong, he was going right back there. So far he hadn't. But how could he convince Ivan that sleeping with him held no plan to manipulate? Saying that his younger self had seemed to return the want to have sex meant nothing. Again, he could just have been manipulating one that didn't know better. And in a way, that was what he had done.
He couldn't just say that either. He needed to think of a way that didn't sound like he was manipulating anybody. "I... It was because you weren't Russia. You didn't have any idea what our relationship was and so... It wasn't complicated. If we did so now then it would be." He hoped that was good enough. Ivan was watching him, thinking. Thinking what, Alfred didn't know.
Ivan closed his eyes, "Is that so?" Apparently that was the wrong answer. Ivan opened his eyes again, standing up and walking towards the door.
"Wait! Wait!" Alfred said, panic rising. He did not want to be locked up again. He could run, but he couldn't run forever. There would be no real place to hide either. With all the countries believing he had gone off the deep end, he would only be able to hide out in his own country, which limited the search radius. Ivan did pause, looking back at him. "Yes, I slept with you. And I get that it wasn't the most moral of choices! I get it!" Alfred said hurriedly. "I-I realized how bad it was after the first time. And the first time you... It had been awhile and you initiated it so I didn't question it. I realized I screwed up and that I shouldn't be sleeping with you when you didn't understand anything, especially how we were. I wasn't going to do it again. I wanted to, I'm not going to lie, but I wasn't going to."
Ivan was still listening, he was still standing close to the door, ready to leave, but he was listening. "But you did." Alfred wasn't sure if the other remembered, or assumed that. For the moment, Alfred guessed the latter.
"Kind of hard not to. You said some things that made sense, not to mention made me feel like an asshole." Ivan had the ability of making him feel that way sometimes. The other usually brought out the worse of himself. "But the selling factor had to be you chaining me down and well... Kind of hard not to have sex with you when you were so persistent."
Ivan looked away, letting out a small tisk. Alfred looked up fully, the other was standing, facing the floor with an unknown expression, but Alfred knew he was probably thinking deeply. But that was good... Right? It took awhile, but Ivan finally looked up at him and walked toward him, kneeling down and undoing the chains. Alfred couldn't help but release a relieved little sigh. "What made you change your mind?" He asked, looking up at Ivan as his left hand was released.
"It sounded like something I would do. And that time I could tell it was the truth." Ivan paused before flicking Alfred in the forehead hard.
"Ow! Hey! What was that for?!" Alfred snapped, rubbing his head with his freed hand.
"Lying. You are terrible at it."
"Am not." Alfred muttered, watching as his other hand was freed and Ivan stood back, "You just have the nasty habit of knowing my tells." Ivan shrugged, small smile still there.
Alfred rubbed each of his wrists in turn, "I thought I did a good job. What'd I do wrong?" It wasn't that often that Ivan caught him in a lie. And it bugged him that the taller could when he had so desperately tried to.
Ivan hummed a moment. "First time you made out like I was naive and innocent. This is laughable."
"Well... You were kind of naive..." Alfred muttered.
"Perhaps. But I would have been six hundred at that point. I think I knew what I was doing."
"S-Six... What? But you were so tinny and like...!" Alfred stared at Ivan in disbelief. Six hundred? And the other had acted like a child. So... Ivan really had been older then him, even at that point. What the fuck? Why did nobody tell him?
"Well that is recorded history, of course before that there were tribes and... Let us not get into that." Ivan waved his hand. "So you implying me innocent... That is a joke."
"Well okay you did almost bash me in the head with your pipe, but still!" The other was still different. He had gotten excited over small things, actually excited and seemingly really happy. This Ivan may have tried smiling and seeming happy, but he never got... Excited.
"I did?" Ivan questioned, looking at him with interest before chuckling, "Some things never change, hm?" Ivan smiled, going and sitting down once more, "You still owe me for causing trouble, I am sure our bosses are working on a price."
"Fantastic."
"Yes, more debt for you. I hope you will pay me back faster then you are China." Alfred let put a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of his head. Ivan let out a quiet sigh, "I of course, will not be holding my breath for that."
"Yeah, probably for the best that you don't." Alfred smiled a bit, standing up and stretching out, groaning a bit, "Shit, how long was I out?" He questioned, shooting Ivan a glare as he rubbed his neck and shoulder. His back didn't exactly feel great either.
"Only a few hours."
"Only he says. Only. Fucking hell." Alfred grumbled to himself, still glaring at Ivan before moving and taking another chair, sitting down as he looked around the room a moment before he couldn't help but ask, "Why do you have chains in your sitting room?"
"They were installed today to take care of a little pest problem."
"It was cold outside, okay? You couldn't expect me to just stand out there!"
"Actually, yes, I do." Ivan smiled at him much too pleasantly, "It was not that cold. Not enough to justify breaking in through my door."
"Be grateful it wasn't a window." Alfred glared back. Those were way easier breaking into. Ivan shrugged. Alfred sighed, looking around the room. As was custom, they would have to wait for their bosses to finish up. It wasn't the first time Alfred and Ivan had waited together. Hell, in the debate over Alaska, they'd fallen asleep in the same room and somebody had come to wake them up. He chewed on his lip a bit, he knew Ivan remembered that, he was sure he did. But the question was... Did Ivan remember the future even then? That they would meet and have sex. Of course they had sex before, but that was well... Around the time of Alaska.
Alfred didn't see Ivan until the solving of the war between him and Japan. Ivan had looked terrible then, on the brink of rebellion and fighting another country, Alfred was surprised the other didn't just collapse. Ivan hadn't exactly stuck around to visit that time. He was almost positive that was when their relationship started to sour.
His question was if Ivan remembered this time before all that... Did it change his outlook on things? Or did he not remember too well what had happened even then? It would explain a few things. Like one of the first times they met, Ivan - despite being a nation he'd never meet - did help him, in a personal sense, not nationally. He was going through the civil war, and Russia had explained some things to him then, even dull the pain he was feeling with a certain medicine that was rare then, still was today.
But what about after? Ivan had been more then willing to accept his proposal to sleep together. Alfred pushed that memory aside before it could resurface. But nothing after that made sense it seemed. They grew cold, full of hatred one might say. It threw Alfred for a loop, trying to understand. He had so many questions, and he was unsure if any of them he could ask Ivan. Despite everything, their relationship was fragile, and could tip back into that same hatred if either of them made the wrong move, said the wrong thing.
So would it even be alright to question it? What was his question anyway? How Ivan felt? Maybe. Mostly, he wanted to know Ivan's side of it. How had he viewed... Everything? Hesitating a moment, still wondering what he should ask, he lifted his head up as he opened his mouth. "What was your side of this?" Alfred snapped his mouth shut, watching Ivan, who in turn was not looking at him - that was not common in the least.
"My side?" Alfred muttered, blinking. Ivan had the same question. "Ah... Well... I ah... There's a lot to tell... You missed some things, there are humans that actually tried kidnapping me from the hotel we were staying in. They haven't made a move since, but it's still something to keep in mind.
Ivan nodded, looking back at him, "That is troubling, and I will keep it in mind; however, that is not what I meant."
"Yeah... Alright." Alfred took a deep breath, getting settled into the chair below him, and told Ivan what had happened - he may have left out some details, mostly the sex, but he kept true to what he had gone through, from his side of things. Ivan listened carefully, maybe still looking for flaws in his story, maybe honestly curious to what had happened. Alfred didn't know, but he decided it didn't matter by the time he was finished.
Ivan didn't speak for a long while, hands entwined together and resting over his mouth, though Alfred could tell a false smile still lay beneath. His eyes seemed distant, but obviously thoughtful. Alfred gave him a couple minutes, but after awhile asked, "What about you? What was your side?"
Ivan looked up at him, obviously more focused on the outside world when Alfred spoke, he sat up completely, smile indeed still there. "I believe what you have told me is the truth. In return, I will tell you the truth." Ivan said. Alfred gave a nod back. Open honesty between them... Also not common anymore. "I am ashamed to admit that I believed - for far longer then I should have - that in this time, whenever it was, we were married."
"Married? What... Why? I never said or-"
"Perhaps, but you have to remember that while I had recently been told that countries could sleep with men and I had slowly accepted that, nobody had corrected me on another. It was during the time period where a person did not sleep with anybody except who they were married to. I am sure you can guess the assumption made there yourself."
"Oh... So you thought... Wait..." Alfred furrowed his eyebrows down. If Ivan believed that you didn't sleep with anybody except for who they were married to then- Alfred could feel his eyes widen in realization and he stared at Ivan, "You were... You weren't."
Ivan, for his part, looked amused. "My memory may not be the best, but one does not forget their first time."
"Holy fuck. I had no idea, I swear!" How could he not have known? Ah, he could beat his head repeatedly against something. He hadn't prepared the other nearly enough for a first time, not nearly enough. Oh, that must have hurt like a bitch. God, he felt like such a jackass.
"I assumed you did not. It was a long time ago anyway."
"It was like a month ago!"
"In my perspective, five hundred years."
"Oh... Right." Alfred muttered.
Ivan smiled a bit, "You see the problem now?" Alfred nodded in response. Their perspective would be completely different from that difference in time. "Besides, seeing as I took your virginity, I think that makes us even."
Alfred shifted a bit at the reminder, "Well yeah... But you at least like... Were more gentle and shit." Ivan had taken a week just stretching him and giving him a lot of pleasure. God, why were they talking about this now? It had been awhile ago and something he didn't like remembering after they weren't even considered friends.
"You live in the moment, and your own emotions, whatever one takes you. Lust, guilty, hate, whatever it is, you seem to submit completely to them and do not think of much else. You are rash but focused, and I learned that long ago."
Alfred glared at the other, he wasn't like that! Okay, maybe a bit, but not entirely! "I'm not just like that!"
"It is a large part of who you are though." Ivan smiled, "That is why sometimes, you do things you almost instantly regret." Alfred flinched at that, knowing exactly what Ivan was talking about. "But, that it not the point of this conversation, yes?"
"Yeah... So... If you thought we were getting married, is that why you were nice to me during the civil war? When we first met?"
"Ah, when you said my perspective, you meant from then until now when we met?" Alfred gave a small nod. "Very well."
Ivan gave up waiting for Alfred, perhaps it would never happen. And in the midst dealing with his own country and affairs, especially when it had been nearly two hundred and fifty years since he had went through time, it was easy to forget about it entirely, it seemed little more then a dream at that point.
Ivan had heard of a land far away that countries had found. Spain, France and England were all trying to stake their claim in more land. He had heard of it of course, they were calling it the 'New World' where there were riches for the taking, and what's more: land. What did Ivan care? He had plenty of land and getting more riches would just attract more war.
He was fine how he was. Yet it seemed that some of his people were interested. It wasn't long before his people had a small settlement. He didn't really see the difference. It was just as cold and frozen there as his own land.
Obviously this 'new world' wasn't anything that special. Or perhaps that was just how his luck was. Always seemed like it. England seemed to be having good luck, already conquering several large territories that weren't just ice. Spain and France were also well on their way. Ivan felt a bit behind, but he supposed that was because he wasn't that interested in the first place. He didn't even really have a colony really. Just trading posts.
One thing it was good for, and that was fur trade. In fact, a lot of his people had gone there to hunt for fur.
When he finally did get a colony he did feel happy though, the Three Saints Bay Colony was what it was, and he was actually proud of it. After all the business with the war with the Ottoman Empire and the war with Sweden just recently resolved, he could actually somewhat appreciate it.
America - once a colony - revolted against England and became it's own nation. It had established it's own government system recently and everything. It had proven itself when it defeated England and winning it's independence, but everybody doubted that it would last very long at all. Especially with all the riots there and poor government system, it was just a matter of time really. The name America seemed familiar to him, but he couldn't think of where, so he pushed the thought aside whenever it arose. It still bugged him.
War seemed to come almost non-stop after that however, with only a few years separating them before Ivan was thrown into one or another. He was growing tired of all the war really. Most recently it had been the French, British and Ottoman Empire.
He could never understand why they picked on him so much. France and England even joined together to try attacking him. At least he had stopped the Austrian Empire from joining. The war was over, the Chinese were pushed back as well, but he supposed he would just have to wait a few years until somebody else decided on invading him.
But Alexander II suggested selling some land to this America. Ivan wasn't sure about meeting any new nations, for all he knew they would decide to continue the trend to attack him. But the nation was idiotically buying up too much land then they could probably handle so it seemed a good idea.
Well, it would get him some money. He agreed to go with some diplomats, mostly just to meet this nation. They had been a country for almost eighty years so he might as well. It was apparently harder to kill than most thought.
So, he set off on the trip to go to Washington D.C.
When they finally arrived there it was quite a long trip and Ivan was glad that they were able to sleep and relax a bit.
But the negotiations for the land started soon after they arrived, considering that was why they were there. However Ivan didn't see the nation there, in fact he didn't see them at all. The president in charge, Buchanan was his name, though Ivan dared not try and pronounce it, seemed uncertain whether he should or shouldn't buy it. And so, negotiations went on.
Somehow, Ivan found himself in another nation that turned from on the brink of Civil war, to half the states succeeding as soon as a man named Lincoln was elected. Negotiations were complicated then, since both were considered president, and so the question of who was in power confused Ivan beyond belief. It was amazing the system had not failed yet.
And somehow he doubted any deal would actually come out of the negotiations now that Civil war had broken out in the America's. It seemed no matter where he went, war followed him. "Perhaps I am simply cursed." Ivan muttered, looking out the window where the sun was shining through. Maybe he would never be able to escape war. Then again, maybe that was the price to being immortal.
"Well that's not exactly the best thing one wants to hear when buying land off a guy."
Ivan turned behind him curiously, he had left the door open but he hadn't exactly been talking loudly. A blond man stood there, he seemed dirty, even having some blood stains that weren't that old. Something seemed familiar about the teen standing before him, though Ivan couldn't think of how. He was sure he hadn't seen him before.
"Not too polite to eavesdrop."
"Whatever. Sorry I couldn't get here quicker, but there's this shit happening in Kansas. Ah... but some people filled me in."
"So you are America then? Hm... I was expecting a female with your name." Ivan smiled. Though thinking of the name and looking at the blond haired nation before him bugged him, like he should remember something.
"Hey!" The other bristled, making Ivan smile more at how easily riled up the other had become. "You have no room to talk! You're known as Mother Russia, so shut the fuck up!"
"Ah, how etiquette... but I suppose that is true."
The other seemed like he wanted to fight more, but stopped. It was no wonder he was having a civil war, if he was so anxious to fight over such small things. "Right, well I get that you came all the way here and stuff, but I'm kind of busy."
"Yes, I noticed. I assumed that we would not be able to reach any sort of decision with this. Though I hope that we may stay a while, it is quite the journey and I would rather leave when I will not be arriving back to my home country in the middle of winter."
"Ah... yeah, that'll be fine. But don't expect to be entertained."
"Of course not. We will try and stay out of your way until we can leave."
"Oh... Good then."
Ivan nodded, looking back out the window. Hm... he remembered once when he was counting away from something... he was sure it had something to do with his tsar Ivan III. How long had it been since he had died? About three hundred and fifty years. Hm... so long. It was no wonder he was so tired, he had so many wars since then. But surely he was counting away from something else as well? Why was this bugging him now of all times? He should be thinking about getting ready for the journey they would have to make back.
It would be a little, but they would need to get supplies. "Say," Oh, he was still here. "what did you mean by cursed anyway?"
"My land is not cursed, like I said. It is just the war. Perhaps when you are older you will understand."
"Hey! I'm plenty old!" Ah, and there he went getting upset. Ivan chuckled, looking back at the other, who only seemed more upset, "Why are you laughing? You want to start something?"
"Of course not. But this is your first civil war, yes?"
"And last if I have anything about it." Ivan laughed loudly, unable to help himself, "Wh- Stop laughing! I'm being serious, you bastard!"
Ivan shook his head, putting a hand over his mouth and calming down. It had been a while since he had actually laughed. "Nothing, that just shows how young you are."
"I'm not that young! I've been around for a couple hundred years okay?"
"Ah, from the lips of babe's."
"The fuck? How do you expect me to buy anything from you!"
"Hm... I suppose I shall let up, but you are quite young compared to the world." America opened his mouth, eyebrows furrowing together, Ivan held up a finger that distracted him long enough for Ivan to speak, "And I do not mean that as an insult in any way."
The other huffed, deflating a bit. "Whatever... That's all I came to say. I've got more important stuff to do."
"Of course." Ivan nodded. For some reason, his response seemed to upset America a bit, "Before you go though, you seem familiar to me... we have not met before have we?"
The other snorted, "No, I'm pretty sure I would remember you. But I've heard a lot that I look like this other dude... ah... Fin Island or something."
"Finland I believe... hm, yes I suppose that is it." Ivan nodded. It had to be, yet something was still bothering him about the others appearance. America left though, leaving Ivan to try thinking of it himself.
They didn't stay in America's capital either, considering how close the fighting would come, and getting supplies for the trip was hard to come by in the time of war, but it wasn't impossible. Just slow going.
America, it seemed was quite a reckless creature. He was fighting for the north's side, but for awhile he didn't take it seriously. After winning the first big battle he almost seemed to believe it was over. The months that followed proved that false.
"Why're you still here anyway?" Ivan was pulled out of his thoughts about what happened as of late to look at Alfred. Whenever he was too severely injured, he would be sent here with them. It did show how safe they believed it to be.
"It takes time to get ready for such a long trip. We are not in your way, yes?"
"Well no, but it might be hard to keep you guys out of the fighting."
"Do not worry about my people. I would be in trouble if I could not protect such a small group of my own."
"Whatever." America muttered, laying back down with a small groan.
"Now I think, this is first time I have seen you here."
"That's cause it takes a lot to hurt me, okay!" Honestly, whenever Ivan talked to America, Ivan always got the feeling the younger was compensating for something. "I don't know what happened... I just felt terrible."
"That would be the war." Ivan chuckled, the other really was young.
"I've never felt this before in war, so don't give me that!"
"Yes, but this is war with yourself. You will feel like your entire body will be tearing into pieces, but no blood or wounds will come of it, just excruciating pain. You are just feeling the beginning. It gets worse."
"You don't have to say it so cheerfully!" America snapped, "Jeez, are you always this pleasant?"
"Sometimes." Ivan smiled happily.
"Have you had a civil war before?"
"Many. Though more battles... Not all of Russia fighting against itself." Ivan smiled, sitting down and after getting comfortable, facing Alfred. "With transporting and communication better then before, you get that pleasure."
"Yeah, pleasure. That's what it is." America muttered, "So... You've lived through them all?"
"Ah, this is what you worry about? The worse thing that can happen is the side you are not on winning."
"I don't know... I'd rather be dead then let that happen."
"You will find that harder to do then you think, Alfred." Ivan smiled, standing up to leave and give the other space to brood.
"Hey wait, who the fuck told you my name?"
"Eh? Nobody... Not that I can think of."
"You just said it though!" America persisted.
"Hm... Alfred? I do not know... I have told you that you seem familiar to me, we have probably met before." Though Ivan couldn't for the life of him remember when.
"I would have remembered you!"
"Oh how sweet." Ivan smiled.
"No! I meant cause you're so creepy!"
"Ah, that is less sweet." A long silence followed Ivan's words, Alfred having this strange look of a pout and glare that seemed it was more him masking the pain.
"There has to be some way to dull the pain." Alfred groaned, falling back onto the bed completely.
"There is not. One of the prices for being immortal, though there are many."
"Yeah right, It's not that bad, okay it's got some really painful drawbacks, but it's great watching humans discover new things and helping out and just seeing all the hard work mean something, even after they're gone!"
Ivan blinked, looking back at the other, who was laying down still, face tweaked a bit in pain, but he seemed almost more alive. "I have never heard anybody speak such during war. Hm... your youth shows clear."
"Would you stop bringing up my age! I'm coming up on a hundred here!"
"A hundred? Surely it has not only been a hundred years." Ivan could have sworn that England started settling long before that... but, his sense of time was not always correct, though he had thought his math better.
"I don't count when I was a colony."
"Ah, thank goodness. I was worried about my perception of time." Ivan sighed, smiling happily, "Well, one hundred is hardly any time at all. Neither is ahh... three hundred sixty, right?"
"Three fifty five actually..."
"Close enough I think."
"Not really. A lot can happen in five years."
"You are funny."
Ivan saw the others flash of annoyance, probably at the pain. It could be irritating. "You're worse than England." Hm... coming from the other that was probably an insult. It was an insult anyway, being compared to another island country who was nothing like him. "Are you older then him or something?"
"Oh! You mean age-wise! Ha, and I thought you were being rude."
"Wait, what?"
"Yes, he is older than me."
"You seem more depressing."
"I myself just got out of a couple wars."
"A couple? You're just full of friends aren't you?"
"Ah yes... friends..." Ivan muttered, smiling more as he felt a deep, familiar hurt bubble up. "But it is bad to think too much on our existences. I am more interested in hearing your ideas for the future. They will at the very least be amusing."
There was that look of agitation again, it was actually kind of funny. He obviously wasn't used to the pain. "Well maybe I don't want to talk to you, kind of in pain if my saying that wasn't enough of a hint."
"Talking will give you something to focus on. And it has obviously is not too painful."
Alfred groaned and made a fuss, but it wasn't long before he was talking excitedly about the 'future'. Where there wouldn't be any slavery in his country anymore, and how he wished to see the entire world and see everything - Ivan was pretty sure that meant conquer too, but said nothing of it. It was nice, listening to somebody being optimistic, it was a rare thing among countries after the whole 'new world' optimism died down.
Were all younger countries this optimistic? Perhaps he even was at one point. Ivan closed his eyes, tuning out Alfred's voice to try and remember, wondering if he could remember that far back, if there was any time he was every this optimistic. Definitely not during any war, like the blond was currently.
He still had a fuzzy memory of when he was a small child, first being brought into this world was gone, that would take too much digging up. Something pleasant, there were plenty happy moment in his life. Like... when he printed his first book! That was a good one, but not quite to the level of happiness he was aiming for. He was picked on quite a bit when he was younger though, before Ivan the Great helped to fix that. Ah yes, those were peaceful times.
Ivan frowned slightly as he remembered a distant memory. Something about a strange world and Alfred. But that was impossible, the other had only recently been discovered. He tried to remember further back. Jolting in his seat, Ivan's eyes flew open, staring at the blond before him. Yes, yes. There was something familiar about him, about his name, his face.
"You are Alfred?"
The blond, being cut off looked a bit disgruntled, probably from the pain, turning to look at Ivan through slightly narrowed eyes. "Yeah. We've gone over this."
Something about a strange world, full of demons and evil mostly. Not so different from today, minus the demons. But Alfred, this Alfred before him, there was something bright and happy about the memory. He couldn't recall the details. He remembered he had written them down... In an old journal. Ivan hoped he still had it.
Wait. That was right, Alfred and him were betrothed. Alfred had been his first and they were married sometime or place. He needed to get back to Russia to look for the book. "Hey, hey, earth to Russia." Ivan blinked, looking at Alfred. "Have you been paying attention?"
"N-No... I am sorry. I-I remembered where I have seen you before. But I am listening now."
"Oh? You did, where at?"
"I doubt you would believe me." Ivan smiled, "I do not even remember the details myself, yes?"
"Ah... Alright." Alfred said, blinking in confusion before hissing and moving his hand to grip his shirt over his chest.
Ivan moved and sat on the bed near Alfred, "Try thinking of something else, what were you talking about before?" Ivan asked, searching for something.
"I don't remember." Alfred hissed in irritation.
"Anything then. Something good. It always help."
"Ah... Like the future?"
Ivan smiled a bit, looking down at the other before looking back at the item in his hand. "If such things hold comfort for you, then yes."
"Yeah. Why are you always so cheerful anyway?"
"People have tried picking on me since I was little, I doubt they will stop trying." Ivan said, "Now, you can sit up, yes?"
"Eh? Don't really feel like doing that."
"I have something that will help the pain. It is not much and may make you sleepy, but if you want it...?"
Alfred seemed to hesitate, as if questioning this, "It's going to get worse?"
"Da."
"Give it too me later then."
Ivan nodded, putting it down at the small table, "Alright."
"Countries pick on you?"
"Try. They do not seem to learn, even after I kick them out. It just gets irritating more then anything." Though war was always horrifying and painful.
"Know what you mean. England nearly came to join this war, on the south side too. He just keeps coming. It's frustrating."
"Ah, England was your motherland, yes?"
"Yeah."
"Hm... I am afraid I have not been keeping tabs on you or anything." Ivan smiled.
"Seriously? I've been around awhile."
"Yes. I have had some of my own things going on. But it is nice to meet you."
"Huh. First you treat me like a kid and now you're actually saying it's nice to meet me. It's good to know that you don't have much interest in my land though. Between Mexico and England, it would suck to have a third person."
"Nyet. I am more interested in selling. But that can wait until you are over with this war."
"Yeah... You'll come back then?"
"Da. You can even write a letter to me if you wish, to tell me that the war is over."
"Yeah... That'd be nice. Don't get many other countries who don't want to attack me coming to visit."
Ivan smiled, nodding, "I understand the feeling."
"Fuck... Okay, I'll take that stuff now." Alfred gritted. Ivan nodded, taking the stuff and sitting Alfred up before letting him drink it.
"It will take a bit to settle in, and I do not suggest trying to fight in this state. You will be groggy." Alfred nodded, and Ivan put the other back down to lay on his back.
"Yeah... Why didn't you offer the stuff before? You going on about the pain and it not being able to stop it..."
"That stuff is hard to come by, that is all I have."
Alfred tilting his head, looking at him in bewilderment, before letting his head drop down. "Wait... Why would you...?"
"I have my reasons. I cannot promise that it won't get worse later on." Ivan said.
"So..." Alfred muttered, closing his eyes, "Does this make us friends?"
Ivan blinked, but smiled, "I would like that. But it does not mean anything if you don't want it to." Alfred nodded, seeming to fall asleep quite quickly. Ivan smiled, petting the others hair before leaning over and kissing the others forehead. Standing up, he pocketed the small, now empty bottle and went to sit by the window once more, gazing out of it once more.
He wondered where he put his old journal. Surely, he had kept it.
While Ivan stayed he helped Alfred as much as he could, he informed the other about war and how it affected their kind. It was surprising how little the other knew, then again, he was very isolated here. Alfred seemed grateful at least. He did have several bouts of pain, some which crippled him for almost a couple of days straight. But he would return to the war whenever he could.
They talked of other things too. Alfred's view on things was very naive, but it was very refreshing too. Still, the time came when he and his company took the trip back to Russia, leaving America behind. However, it was just a few years later that he got a message.
It wasn't from Alfred, or even America, but from his Tsar. It seemed like he would be heading back to America, if he had any say in the matter.
Why was it that Alfred was never at the meetings? Ivan had been there for almost three weeks with a couple of his diplomats to talk to Alfred's boss - a different man then who he saw, but he heard Alfred's system of government was sort of like the Roman's. Apparently the people voted for them every four years. How was any ruler to gain respect and do things in such a short amount of time? Not to mention how would they know what to do if they were not taught how to rule a country? Ivan doubted he would ever understand. Apparently, they would not be talking to the president as much as another diplomat from something called a 'senate'. Ivan assumed senate was just another word for diplomat, or perhaps a lord. America had been known to change up some words just to spite England.
But once again, the senator refused to negotiate until the country was there. So Ivan resumed the hobby he had had when coming before, mainly staring out windows. At least the place was no longer at war, and it seemed nice enough.
"Hey, haven't seen you for forever." Ivan turned at the voice and smiled at the blond standing there. He was smiling, and did seem to be doing better than last time. Though the clothes he wore weren't exactly clean and he looked like some of the American's he had encountered on the way here that lived out further west. Even so, he just seemed healthier. Getting out of a war would do that.
"It has hardly been forever." Ivan smiled, turning fully to look at the other, "I am guessing this tardiness is just in your nature, hm?"
"Hey! For your information, I'm busy trying to get people settling everywhere! I was miles away, okay? You're lucky I got here as fast as I did!" Alfred huffed, but he was still smiling as he walked over. "So, ah... I sensed you were here, but why the visit? It's not like it's a short trip. If you're here about an alliance or anything, forget it, I'm staying out of Europe wars, you guys are all fucking crazy and are always fighting. I got enough to do here."
Ivan assumed that others had approached Alfred wanting to create an alliance, thus the speech. "Actually... I was looking to sell land. Like before?"
"Oh... Oh!" Alfred grinned much brighter, clapping a hand across Ivan's back, which made him stiffen a bit before forcing himself to relax. "Why didn't you say so? That's awesome! I'm not about to say no to some more land!" Yes, Ivan had heard some things of some goal of Alfred's of exploring 'sea to shining sea' or something like that.
"Ah, well that is good." England had said he wasn't interested in it years ago and Ivan doubted he'd change his mind now.
"How much you selling?"
"All of Alyeska actually."
"Um... Where's- wait, I've heard of that, that's just a pile of ice!" Alfred frowned.
Perfect. "Ah well... I am not expecting much for it."
"I don't know man, why would I buy that?"
"I thought you could use it."
"How could I use it?" Alfred huffed, crossing his arms and watching Ivan, at least waiting for an explanation.
"Well... it is just that if you did then your territory would surround British Columbia."
Alfred looked thoughtful, "That's not exactly a great sales pitch, even if me and Arthur are kind of enemies."
"It would actually be an advantage to you. He has learned not to mess with you as much it seems and if you took the territory then it would weaken his control over those waters."
Alfred laughed a bit, "Guess you're not an ally of England then, huh?"
"Nyet. I would say not."
"It's still nothing but a frozen wasteland." Alfred said, "But I'm guessing you've already talked to my boss about it?"
"Well, mostly it is a senator... ah, William."
"Oh, Steward? Yeah alright, what did he say?"
"He was waiting for your opinion."
Alfred snorted, "He should know my opinion! Alright, I'll go talk to him."
"Alright..." Ivan said.
"Hey, here's a question though. If it gives so much advantage over England, why are you selling it?"
"I have enough snow and ice as it is."
"So it is worthless." Ivan didn't say anything, how could he, when his Tsar had said practically the same thing? "Seriously, why are you even trying to sell it if you know it's worthless? What, you think I'm an idiot or something?"
"No, I said I did not expect much money from it."
"Yeah, how do you plan on getting rid of it short of giving it up?"
"Some money will be nice." Ivan muttered, taking a breath, he really shouldn't, the other would just laugh at him and shove it in his face, the need making the 'no' that much better. "I just need the money, even if it is cheap, it is better than nothing."
Alfred seemed to pause, looking over at him, "What do you mean, need?"
Ivan winced, damn it, he was hoping the other hadn't observed that. "If you wish to know, I borrowed a bit of money. I am... a bit short and it is due. I can of course find other methods of payment," Ivan said quickly, "This is just easiest." He didn't need to be seen as weak.
Alfred pursed his lips together, seeming to think on it. Not that he was, the other would probably laugh at him for trying to ask for help. That's what happened to those who asked nicely. They got killed. "I'll talk to Steward, see what I can do."
Ivan nodded, though he already knew what the outcome was going to be. He didn't let his displeasure be known, he kept his smile up, only letting out a light sigh, "Alright." Alfred nodded and walked back out of the room.
Should have known better. Ivan sat down on the couch. Negotiations would start soon then, not that they would last long at all. Ivan put his chin in his hand, resting his elbow on the armrest. His Tsar would be disappointed of course, he doubted anybody else would buy the territory other than Alfred. Ivan couldn't defend it easily either, so Britain could easily take it from him.
He couldn't help it, he wanted to trust Alfred, because he knew the blond was in his future. Perhaps that had been the wrong move though. He hadn't even had the time to look for his journal either really. He had been off doing things. Poland making fun of him, another rebellion he had to deal with, a treaty for a war, setting up a provenance out of the conquered territory. And then this.
He hardly had time to sit down and look for an old book.
The doors slammed open and Ivan startled, looking up to see it was just Alfred. "So, everybody's talking it over now." Alfred said, closing the doors behind him much more quietly then he had opened them, "But apparently I'm suppose to stick around until the negotiations are done. As per usual." Alfred sighed out, nearly falling into the seat beside Ivan dramatically which made Ivan smile, "These things are always boring."
"Depends on how long it lasts. Should not be long though, da?"
"I hope not! But I dunno, when politics get involved it can go on forever!"
"You like using that word." Ivan said, relaxing back into the position he had been before Alfred had came in. "It will not take long."
"How do you know? They could stretch this out for like a week! I've seen it happen!"
"You said it yourself, it is just snow and ice." Ivan sighed out, "You advised him not to take it, did you not? Not that I blame you at all." Ivan would have laughed at whoever would try selling something like that to him, and Alfred didn't have that many people to support. England had refused the deal, and while he had quite a few conquered territories, he had little land as well, especially in comparison to Alfred.
"Actually, I told him to take it."
Ivan blinked, looking over at Alfred once more, "What?"
"Don't get me wrong, it's not going to be a lot, it's still just ice and snow. But I'm not an idiot. Sure, it's kind of useless. But it's still land, and that point you brought up with Britain wasn't bad. Hell, I haven't made it a secret that I want to piss him off. As long as the asking price doesn't end up being too high then we get all that, plus it improves our relationship, and in case you hadn't noticed, I'm not exactly full of friends. Not that it's stopped me from kicking anybody's ass, but you get the picture. So yeah... I pretty much told him as long as it was cheap then fine."
"You... want to be my friend?" His mind caught on that in particular.
"Hey! I said I don't make alliances!" Alfred crossed his arms, glaring, "And there are other good points. Besides, you were going on about how you needed help, and obviously I'm a hero so I can't just say no when you put it like that!"
"Thank you, Alfred." Ivan said, "It means a lot, really." It had been a long time since anybody had done anything for him when just for a reason of improving relationships. He couldn't remember the last time anybody had really done that. It had happened before, he was sure, it had just been a long while.
Alfred smiled back at him, "Yeah, don't mention it. It'd be nice to at least have a somewhat friendly relationship with somebody. Most I'm just neutral with, but eh." Alfred shrugged his shoulders.
"Hm... I am not exactly full of friends myself. As long as it is unofficial then, hm?"
"You bet."
"I like that idea." Ivan smiled. Second time meeting Alfred and they were already friends. He chuckled a bit, ruffling Alfred's hair. In another fifty years they might even be married at this rate. Ivan wouldn't mind the idea at all.
Alfred waved his hand away, shouting about something. Ivan just laughed. After Alfred had ran a hand through his hair to straighten it - not that Ivan could tell the difference from when it was ruffled - he looked over, "So what's you're name anyway? I didn't get to ask last time you were here."
"Oh, my human name... It is Ivan."
"Great! Nice to meet you then Ivan!"
"We have met before."
"Well yeah, but I didn't know your name! Well, not your human name anyway." Alfred waved off, "Formal introductions and all that."
Ivan smiled, nodding in agreement. "I suppose so." It was a kind gesture, but Ivan wouldn't expect much from Alfred's actual government, but he supposed that was the point, that they wouldn't actually be allies. It was still a kind gesture on Alfred's part though, and he wouldn't be forgetting that anytime soon. "We will just have to wait for the actual decision to be made." He still doubted it would take long.
"Yeah, who knows how long it'll take. Hopefully it won't be all day." Ivan nodded, though it wasn't exactly morning anymore he didn't comment on it. "Hey so, ah…" Ivan looked at Alfred, "I'm curious, what's your land like?"
"Cold. Like Alyeska, but bigger."
"Yeah, I've heard of that, so it's really like that?"
Ivan smiled, nodding, "Yes. Winter is a dangerous thing normally, but more so in my homeland. But that also means that I win more wars during winter." Ivan hummed, remembering not very long ago when France burned Moscow. When he retreated, he lost many, many soldiers to the cold even after their harsh, bloody battle. So bloody.
"So ah, you've got kings and queens?" Alfred asked, drawing Ivan's mind away from the past war.
"Tsars, but yes, I suppose it is the same. Mostly it has been Emperors, but there have been a couple ah… Empresses? I must admit, I do not understand your system too well myself."
"Yeah well, I did come up with it myself!"
"Eh? Nyet, Rome had a similar system, as well as-"
"Well I pieced everything together!" Alfred huffed, looking almost offended somehow. "So I put it together into what it is now!"
"Alright." Ivan supposed he could humor the other, "You did change your system though, yes? And in such short time."
"Yeah, turns out England may have had some rules right. Giving all the power to the people turned out to be a bad idea."
Ivan hummed his agreement, "Sometimes it can be."
"So ah… I'm trying to think of things we can talk about while we're waiting." Alfred said, rubbing the back of his neck.
"A valiant effort." He certainly prefered it to the usual awkward silence or talk of current weather that usually went on while waiting.
"Thanks!" Alfred grinned. "So ah… What do you do for fun?"
"Fun?" Ivan blinked, it had been a long while since anybody had asked him that. Since he was a child. "Ah… fun."
"Oh come off it, you've got to enjoy something "
Winning wars and kicking countries out of his land when they tried invading was fun. It was better when they left broken, then they would remember and hopefully not try again. Yes, that was fun. Ivan was thinking Alfred meant something a bit different. "Well… Ah… I suppose ice skating." It had been a while since he'd done that too.
"Oh yeah? Mattie, my brother likes that as well. I never really got the hang of it."
Tilting his head to the side a bit Ivan asked, "Who?"
Alfred smiled as if Ivan had said something that was both funny and sad. Ivan didn't get the joke, "You know, ah… shit, he just got a new name. It keeps changing because his territories kind of split up, but above me, you know? I think it's Canada, I'll have to ask him though. We're still on speaking terms, despite England. Kind of anyway." Alfred seemed to muse to himself.
"Oh." Ivan had not realized anybody represented there, though he supposed he should have. "I see. I have not meet him." There was no need, he was a colony under others. Ivan never would have had to have dealings with him. "What of you? I have heard you have taken an interest in exploring."
"You bet! Also settling, it's no easy job either, but it's great!" Alfred grinned. "I mean there's problems, but it feels so good to be out there!"
"Hm, a free spirit." Ivan smiled, after a few wars that would change.
"You bet! It's the best too, I don't see why you guys don't do it."
"There's no place left in the world to explore."
"Yeah, that's what you thought before finding me too. There could be another world out there somewhere still, just waiting to be discovered!"
"I suppose you have a point there." Ivan nodded, "But I do not think the world holds too many more secrets."
"What? No, there's tons we don't know! I mean there's just so much!"
The talk of youth, a young country yet to live long enough to discover that the world wasn't a wonderful puzzle. Well, Ivan didn't have the heart to dampen the others spirits. So instead he listened to Alfred's enthusiastic talk of a world full of wonder, not this world surely, but somehow it was. Where things were just waiting to be discovered. Ivan wished he could see things from the others point of view, perhaps one day he would.
He would contribute sometimes, trying to see Alfred's own little world of wonder. It did sound nice, but something that seemed Alfred's alone. Sometimes they would talk of other things as well. Until the night faded quickly and they both decided to get some sleep. The meeting wasn't over then, but they were both tired.
Ivan didn't think he got more than a couple hours when somebody knocked on the door, telling him the meeting was over, and the results. But he was too tired to make much sense of it, half asleep he didn't understand much, but as he started fading back into sleep after shooing the man, he realized, felt more then anything that Alyeska had been sold.
At a much more reasonable time, he had woken up, the sun was already completely past the horizon in the sky and the room was well lit. Ivan got up, still a bit tired, but feeling better. He went out and before he went to see if there was food, he asked one of his men the results. He was told that Alyeska was sold - which he already knew, and it had been cheap, but it was still a decent amount of money, it would help anyway. Smiling, he just nodded at the result. It may not have been much, but it was better than he had hoped.
So, after getting some food he, of course, looked for Alfred who had not been in the room they had fallen asleep together in,
Ivan was sitting in the borrowed room, reading the news article when he heard a knock on his door, he looked up after a second. He gave a smile as well as gave a strange look towards the other. "Did not know you were one to knock."
"Hush, you." Alfred snorted, going inside the room, taking that as an invitation. Ivan folded the paper he was reading, putting it on the desk. "Y'know, coming up here, I heard saying somebody lost a- shit, I meant heard somebody saying they lost a newspaper."
Ivan smiled, he noticed that sometimes the others pattern of speech was something England would probably cringe at, then again, maybe that was why the blond obviously got used to it. Ivan concentrated on what Alfred had said instead of how he had said it, "Did you? Well I hope they find it." Alfred smiled at him a bit, probably knowing that Ivan knew a bit of something. Though he hadn't know the paper was anothers, but he didn't exactly feel guilty over taking it.
"So hey, I was wondering, are you a native English speaker?"
"Hm? Ah, I suppose I have spoken mostly English around you. No, I am not. I have my own language, why?"
Alfred just shrugged, "Just wondering, cause like you said, you were elsewhere, and it's not like English is exactly uncommon." That was true, it's popularity had grown after England had gained so many colonies. "Maybe you could teach me some day?"
Ivan stared at Alfred a moment before looking away, pushing chin down into his scarf until his face was buried up to his nose. "Ah... Yes..." Perhaps Alfred was just curious, he was obviously in a stage he wanted to explore things, and with that came at least a little bit of knowledge seeking. The other probably just was wanting to learn another language and Ivan was just there at the moment to ask.
"So ah... What are you reading about?" Alfred asked, sitting down on the couch beside him.
"Ah... The recent purchase. Seems a lot are criticizing it." Alfred shrugged as if that didn't bother him much.
"That's just cause it is ice. I never tried lying to myself that it was all that useful... But it isn't just a pity thing. Come on, I've explained this before!"
"I know." Ivan smiled, leaning his head on his open palm, elbow on the arm of the couch as he looked at Alfred, "It was just what I was reading when you came in." Alfred nodded a bit at that, smiling.
"Good! Nice to know you're not like, staring out the window and contemplating life or something. For a guy who smiles all the time, you sure can get depressing." Depressing? Hm... Mostly it was violent thoughts and words that came out of him. Ivan just gave a half shrug, was he really that predictable? "Anything change?"
"Hm? If you are implying I am happier because I do not have to worry about debt you are wrong. I suppose relieved and a bit grateful, but such a thing would not change my outlook on life in general." Life was merciless after all.
"I guess." Alfred said slowly, looking away. He looked a bit dejected when a moment ago he had looked hopeful. Well it wasn't a baseless assumption that one would become more hopeful after some help. But Ivan knew if things got good, it meant it would only become much worse soon. Life had that pattern.
Still, he would hate to make Alfred upset. He wouldn't tell the blond a lie, and he had been truthful. Hesitating a moment Ivan spoke again, "However... Speaking to you... Hearing you talk and everything... I do feel some hope for the future, and that is something I lost a long time ago." He turned his head slightly to look at Alfred, the others blue eyes were lit up and he looked happy once again. It was honestly amazing how a few simple words could change the others attitude.
"Yes! I knew you'd come around! My plans for the future are just that great, huh?"
"I wouldn't call them plans. Just an idea you have." Ivan said. But no, it wasn't Alfred's ideas of the future, it was just how the other acted around him. Ivan remembered enough to know that him and Alfred would be married, and when he remembered that, he was unsure. But... He wouldn't mind it after all. Not with how Alfred was. And with Alfred was wrapped with a possibly better future. He wouldn't say that of course.
Alfred was still smiling at him brightly though, nodding, "I'm glad I could help!" Ivan nodded, looking down at the folded newspaper. It was still almost foreign, thinking about there being a chance of being happy. Silence fell between them, but Ivan felt no need to break it, it seemed comfortable. Of course Alfred shifted from time to time, but the other was at a restless time in his life. "So um... Hey, I was thinking." The other sounded more serious then his optimistic attitude from just a few minutes earlier. Ivan looked over at Alfred curiously, humming in question. The blond wasn't looking at him at the moment, "Well... I um... Heard that ah... After gaining land that two countries have to... Well y'know... Sleep together so that it's like... ..." The other trailed off.
Ivan however, was a bit confused. He tilted his head, "Who told you that?" Sounded like something stupid that maybe one of his people came up with. Humans were strange things sometimes.
"Ah... France."
Ivan snorted at that response. Of course, Alfred had bought some land off of the other. Why wasn't he surprised that Francis tried something like that on Alfred? He really should react more to a nation trying so much to seduce others and... "So... You slept with him?"
"What?" Alfred looked up, looking honestly offended, "You think I'm an idiot? I punched him in the face!"
Ivan smiled more at that. Good. But then he tilted his head at Alfred once more. "So then... If you knew it was not true, why are you asking me?"
The younger nation's cheeks heated and he looked away quickly. "Well I didn't know for absolutely sure that it was wrong, but I ah... Do now. Which is why I asked, yeah." Ivan watched the other in amusement. After a moment of listening to Alfred splutter, he moved his hand over to the back of Alfred's neck. The blond stopped, looking over at him. Ivan gave a smile and leaned forward to kiss the other softly. The other was technically more then three hundred and fifty, so age wise Ivan didn't feel bad about any sexual acts that might arise.
He could tell Alfred had kissed before, which relieved him slightly. He pulled back after a moment, pressing his forehead into Alfred's, "I will accept this excuse for the moment." Obviously, Alfred knew that countries could sleep with the same gender, which certainly would make this easier. Of course, if Alfred's boss or congress found out about it, they're reaction would be less then supporting.
"You really have to go, huh?" Alfred muttered softly.
"Yes." Ivan sighed, running his hand through Alfred's hair. They had both known he would not be allowed to stay forever. It had been some months since Ivan had started sleeping with each other. Ivan knew, the same as one knew if it was night or day that once he left whatever relationship they had would have to be forgotten, for how long Ivan didn't have the answer to. Alfred let out a quiet sigh, moving up. Closer to him. Ivan adjusted his arms to allow the movement and Alfred nipped against Ivan's neck. He grunted, "Don't do that."
Alfred gave him a mischievous smile but moved his mouth away to kiss Ivan on the mouth before rolling off him a bit, laying in the bed, though still holding onto Ivan's arm, even as he pulled the blanket up around the both of them. Ivan looked up to Alfred, raising his eyebrows. "Since it's your last night and all... You can stay, right?" Ivan smiled a bit, knowing that the explanation didn't follow logically. He would need to get up early and go with his people. In all accords, he should be sleeping in his own bed for when somebody would try and wake him.
Logic however, didn't seem to work as well with Alfred. He didn't mind, just turning and wrapping his arm around the blond, relaxing into the bed in answer. It was warm under the blanket with another body to share heat with so he wouldn't mind sleeping without his clothes. Alfred smiled, leaning into him. They only actually slept together on rare occasions, the halls were usually filled with people in the early mornings and if they emerged too often from each others rooms people would catch on.
Ivan closed his eyes, enjoying the comfort of one so close to himself. It was something nations had to experience, sleeping alone even when they had a sexual partner. It was just how things were. Still, he felt a bit bad for the blond. Ivan knew he was Alfred's first, and part of him wished he could spoil the other, and himself just a little. He had caved in to staying the night with Alfred more then once. Of course, he didn't need Alfred to even ask the first night. He wasn't heartless.
"We'll see each other again, yeah?" Alfred said suddenly and Ivan opened his eyes, of course it didn't matter since Alfred was facing away from him, he once more closed his eyes.
"Yes. That is inevitable." It was impossible for countries to avoid one another forever after all.
Alfred nodded slowly, "Good." Ivan kissed the back of the others shoulders before burying his face once more into the back of the others neck.
"Da..." Ivan muttered in response. Part of him was tempted to just not go back, to forget himself as a nation and of all the war and pain that came with it. He had such thoughts before this moment, but he never did leave. Being a nation wasn't something one could walk away from. They were born as such, and as such, the only freedom they would receive was in death.
Ivan kept going, he had no choice in that matter. However, he knew he wouldn't last long. Rebellion acts were starting up everywhere, and he was still in a war with Japan. And so, under quiet the strange agreement, Ivan found himself back in America, though this time it was to try and negotiate with Japan.
Thankfully, he saw Alfred before he met up with Kiku. He felt a touch of relief seeing that at least Alfred seemed to be doing alright. News of America wasn't exactly easy to come by, but he had heard the other had been staying out of any war - for the most part. The other wasn't looking his way, seeming to stare off elsewhere, humming a bit and tapping his foot against the ground. Alfred must have been doing well if he was this cheery.
Hesitating, Ivan wondered what he should do. It had been almost forty years now. And while Ivan didn't believe a country to be able to change much during that time, it seemed like Alfred had, just with the way he was standing. Not only that, but Ivan didn't know how to act around the other. They were no longer lovers, Ivan understood that. Too much time missed to be something so close. But he didn't know what to be. He supposed technically it didn't matter, he was only there to discuss on neutral territory, and America had no alliance with either of them one way or another. Still, he would be lying if he said he wasn't at least partially looking forward to seeing Alfred.
The blond seemed to notice somebody watching him because he stopped humming a moment before he turned his head, looking at Ivan. Ivan smiled a bit, though Alfred stared at him a moment, "Holy shit, you look like crap."
Ivan resisted the urge to chuckle, running a hand through his hair, though he doubted the other was talking about the state of his hair. "Da... I suppose I would."
"Fighting Japan that bad?"
Ivan actually did let out a chuckled at the others question, "He is a small nation and I will one day crush him if I wish."
"Yeah, I wonder why negotiations aren't going well." Alfred said, though he looked almost amused.
"It is just because we are fighting now... I will get over it after we are done fighting."
"Hey, I hear ya, in war you just focus on the hatred, right? Best to see the enemy as a monster to fight against them."
"Hm, your words are truer then you think." Ivan smiled softly.
"Yeah... Listen... I ah... Heard about the protest..."
Ivan stiffened a bit, but forced himself to relax, taking a breath. "When did you hear that?" The protest that resulted in 200 civilians and rebelling soldiers being shot and killed, and 800 wounded.
"Ah... Maybe a couple months ago?" Hm, news between them was still quiet slow it seemed. "I mean, I've had natural disasters lately but... It's not really the same..."
"It never is." Ivan sighed, shaking his head, "I doubt any of us get used to it, but we must move on."
Alfred nodded, "You weren't there, were you?"
Ivan raised an eyebrow, "Nobody explained that to you?"
"Explained what?"
"A nation is always there. We are just somehow attracted to places before events happen. Nobody can explain it, sometimes we do not realize it ourselves. We just decide we want to visit for some reason. Nothing seems to be able to stop us from going either. Our bosses, our people, even a war we are in the middle of. Any event that will cause ripples, good or bad, we always see."
Alfred seemed to mull what Ivan said over before speaking slowly, "I guess that makes sense... I mean, I've seen a lot of important stuff, but I always thought it was like... I dunno, a coincidence."
"It is not." Alfred nodded and sat down, Ivan hesitating before doing the same, repressing a sigh of relief. He wished he had time to lay down. Maybe after the war with Japan was resolved... Maybe he could get time to rest a little.
"So ah... There hasn't been a rebellion, has there?"
"Not quiet. Though with the way things are going it might end up that way. I wouldn't be surprised... The Marxist parties seems to be growing quiet a bit also." It was still small, at the moment, but he had reason to worry.
"Marxist? ... Oh, Karl Marx?"
"Hm? You have heard of him then?"
"I read some stuff by him, yeah." Alfred shrugged off, "Can't say I agree with him. Sucks that you got some people that believe in it though."
"I do not know. Honestly, I would not mind trying it out. The idea sounds nice."
"What, are you kidding?"
"No... I am not kidding. Alfred, I said I would not mind trying it, but I am a realist, I know it is not that simple and I am not pushing to try and make it happen." Alfred seemed to relax a bit at that. It wasn't uncommon for countries to disagree with any type of government system beside their own after all. Loyalty to a fault. He himself didn't want to risk trying a government system because it was that, new, and after years of the tsar's ruling, such a change would not be so easy. Ivan decided to change the topic, "Is Japan here?"
"Hm? Oh yeah, he arrived a few days ago. Been resting up a bit." Ivan nodded, he wasn't looking forward to negotiations, but hopefully it would be worth it.
It did not go well. Japan demanded a lot of land, and America had backed the island nation up. Ivan was less than thrilled, though the treaty was signed, he had lost too much land in the exchange. He didn't stay in America as long as he thought. He was angry with the blond nation, but he downright loathed Japan after the exchange.
He didn't see Alfred at all after that for awhile. The next time he saw Alfred was a surprise. Considering everything their relationship had turned a bit sour. Alfred made it very, very obvious that he disapproved of Ivan's new state of government. Honestly, Ivan hadn't expected the other to be so averse to change that he rejected anybody else changing as well. It was a bit naïve and selfish honestly. Still, he couldn't be more surprised to see Alfred of all people, walking down the street in his country like any other day. So surprised that he momentarily forgot any small grudge he had with the other and caught up with him. "Alfred?"
The other turned and looked at him, probably responding to him name. His eyes darkened a bit and that was when Ivan realized that the blond had not wished to see him. But why else would he be here? "Oh. Hey Ivan." Ivan supposed since they were around humans the use of human names were being used for now.
"I believe this is the first time I have seen you here." He looked the younger over. He did not look good. It seemed their situations had almost reversed from the last time they had seen one another. Ivan felt healthier then he had in a long time, and more powerful. Alfred looked sick, dark ring under his eyes, paled skin that didn't fit him after Ivan had seen him tanned so often. His clothes looked too big on him, but Ivan could bet it was that he was just smaller. He was slumped slightly, like he was under a lot of weight. Ivan had known Alfred wasn't doing good, economic wise, and it showed through. It must have been worse then Ivan was thinking.
"Just y'know... Seeing the sights." Alfred gave a thin smile and it was clear that he was lying, the other must not have been a very good liar.
"Really?" He wondered what the blond was up to. He thought about what it could be, but it dawned on him quickly. A decent amount of American's had come over seas to live in his country since the economic collapse. While Alfred himself may have called him 'red' or 'commie' on occasion, it was clear the blond would have at least some interest in coming over, just as some of his people did. There was a certain pull between them and their people like that. Either that or Alfred was going to ask him for help. Either way, it meant he could influence the other. "Well, allow me to show you around then."
"Ah... I'd rather look alone."
"Who better to show you around?" Ivan asked curiously, tilting his head. Being backed into a corner with his lie, Alfred closed his mouth and nodded. Ivan steered him away to look at some historical land marks. He half expected Alfred to fall over at any moment, but the blond seemed to have more in him then that because he continued walking, though he looked miserable for it. So, Ivan instead decided to show Alfred his house, taking pity on the younger country by going someplace he could at least sit down without having to admit that he had lied. The blond was prideful after all. Alfred seemed impressed by the size of his house, and Ivan did warn him there were people living with him now. Alfred didn't seem pleased with the statement, but he didn't voice any complaint either.
Still, he made sure they were relatively alone and made Alfred some coffee, which the blond seemed to have enough manners to thank him for at the very least. Ivan sat down across from Alfred, taking out his own vodka. "So, America," He started, drawing the others attention after he had given a content little sigh from holding and sipping the warm coffee. "there are only two real reasons I can think of you being here. One is to borrow some money."
"No, I didn't come to ask for anything." Alfred muttered, seeming to find his coffee very interesting, moving his hands so the drink would swirl around inside of it. "I'm just... Visiting I guess." Yes, no place was permanent for a country, and Alfred had no place here, of course if he joined the USSR, Ivan wasn't going to complain any, he actually found he got a rush of excitement at the idea, he didn't bring up the idea though, knowing Alfred would come around in his own time. And soon, if his economy kept up the way it did.
"I can understand your curiosity, it is the first time your visiting Russia after all."
"Yeah. I heard how well you were doing and figured it was a good time to visit. Though maybe not with the... Trials."
"Oh, you've heard of those. I am sure you will be safe from them, as long as you do not try influencing people into democracy anyway."
"Yeah." Alfred muttered, but he seemed upset. Perhaps at a missed opportunity? Ivan wasn't too happy with that, the other shouldn't have been looking to influence him in the first place. Alfred looked up at him, "I'm not looking to become Communist, Russia. I'm just here to visit."
"I'm sure." Ivan nodded to show he believed the other. He didn't really. Perhaps Alfred believed it himself, but once he saw communism at work, Ivan was sure he would come around rather quickly. "You are welcome to stay here as well."
Alfred opened his mouth, but then closed it, seeming to have some internal debate before giving a quiet, "Thanks."
And so, he stayed for quite awhile, to the point that Ivan believed it would be more permanent an invitation, not that he minded. That was until Alfred left, without so much as a goodbye. It upset and saddened Ivan. The next time they would meet it would be on the battlefield in World War II, after Ivan joined the allies.
"And the rest you know. We grew to hate each other, calmed down, made peace." Ivan made a hand gesture to continue the tangent, "I forgot about this time when I was the Soviet Union, before I found an old journal of mine describing it. It angered me at first and I burned it, but after I felt tired. I came to you seeking peace, and that was actually the time we managed to achieve it."
"That's... A lot to take in."
"Take your time, we might have plenty of it." Alfred stayed silent, just thinking over everything that had been told to him. It sounded like Ivan had forgotten about him. But no, it was more then that, Ivan had given up waiting. It was terrible thinking, that Ivan would finally give up on him, of all things and Alfred wished he could go back in time and apologize to Ivan for making him wait and hold him and just have him. But things weren't so simple and Alfred would have to do with the time now.
"I'm sorry." He muttered.
"Sorry? What a thing to say." Ivan responded, but he seemed to understand what Alfred was referring to. "Does not matter. We should just forget it."
"Forget it? It's only been a month for me. I can't just forget about it!" That didn't seem right. But then Alfred understood what Ivan meant and he let out a small, "Oh." Ivan nodded, seeming to wait. Ivan meant that they should forget it in the sense they should pretend it never happened. That hurt Alfred for some reason, though he couldn't fathom as to why, he didn't really want to think about why he was hurt. "No."
"No?" Ivan asked, sounding confused. "No." He repeated, this time sounding as though he was contemplating the meaning behind the world. "Yes, Alfred."
"Why?"
"Because, we have a complicated relationship already. Adding something like lovers to that creates passion, and that can easily be misled into hate once again. I do not want another Cold War."
"Then we won't have one!"
"Alfred. Listen to me, and for this once take a 'no' as an answer. We are not doing it."
Alfred fell silent, feeling rejected, which actually, he was just rejected. By Ivan, and that made it a hundred times worse. Still, he stayed quiet until his boss came and picked him up, even staying silent the entire plane ride back, just mulling over the fact that Ivan had said no to a relationship with him. That was his right, but Alfred couldn't help but feel he missed something, perhaps in their conversation that would explain to him why it had to be this way. He couldn't find an answer.
Next chapter will probably be a short one, who knows? Hope you all enjoyed!
