When Eva got upstairs her instincts were to sleep, but she knew she would sleep through the night and not remember to wake and check on Jessica and her boy toy. Instead she finally made the effort to finish unpacking and putting away all her clothes. Then with the time she had left she intended to settle down with a book she had picked up at the airport before boarding her plane in Heathrow. Before she got more than a page into the novel, she heard the front door open downstairs. She couldn't hear any voices, but she assumed Bill had changed his mind about leaving them alone for the night and Sookie hadn't managed to convince him otherwise.
A knock on her door a few moments later prepared her for another long discussion with Bill that she wasn't in the mood for, but when she told him to enter it was Eric that stepped through the door instead.
"I hope I'm not interrupting." Eric shut the door and took a single step further into the room and then paused.
Eva didn't move from her reclined position on the bed with her book.
"Earlier tonight you made a humble move in coming to apologize to me, and I destroyed what could have been a perfect night."
She still didn't speak.
"Now it is my turn to be humble." He moved to the side of the bed and knelt beside it, bowing his head. "Evangeline, I was out of line this evening. I let my emotions get the better of me and spoke without considering the harmful potential of my words." He paused. "There have been many unpleasant thoughts in my mind since you left and since you have returned, but they are unjust to you." He glanced up at her. "I think them because when you were gone I spent every moment of every day wondering if you were alive, if you were safe, or if I would ever see you again. And now that you have returned I feel like somehow, more than ever, I have lost you." He looked away again.
"Eric…"
"Please, I am not finished. Yes, Pam has been a part of my life for many years, decades, centuries even. But you know that no one has been in my life the way that you have. I cannot imagine a life without you in it. I need to believe that I will have that back somehow, someday."
"Eric…" She tried again, this time setting her book aside and reaching out for his clasped hands. "You haven't lost me."
"Why did you leave?" He grasped her hands tightly and held them up against his lips. "What happened was terrible. We have all suffered, but how did leaving us help you deal with the grief that you felt?"
"I wasn't only feeling grief."
He frowned.
"I wish I could explain to you the emotions that drove me from here at that time, but when I try to think of them, process them…it's too much. There were too many. Grief. Anger. Pain. Guilt. Loneliness…"
"Guilt?"
Eva quieted.
"Evangeline, what happened to Noah was not your fault."
"He was always so cautious, so concerned for me. I was his only focus. He never thought of himself."
"Because he loved you and wanted to protect you, just as we all did."
"I couldn't help thinking that if he hadn't always been so concerned about me, and perhaps spent a little more time taking care of himself, he might still be alive." She held his hands tighter. "And the way that you and Bill focus on me…if anything were to ever happen to either of you…"
"Nothing's going to happen to us."
"You can't promise me that." A tear slipped from her left eye. "Noah never expected to die either. He always promised me he would be around to protect me."
Before she could react, Eric was off his knees and up on the bed beside her. "We may never know exactly what happened to your brother, but what I do know is that he would have willingly given his life if it meant protecting you, as would I or Bill."
"Which is exactly what I'm worried about. I don't want you to ever risk your life for me."
"And yet, that's not in your control." He put his arms around her tightly when she started to protest. "But I will do my best not to die. You have my word."
"Eric, I'm not joking about this. I can take care of myself. I'm not a child anymore."
"You will always be under my protection so you'd better stop trying to fight it."
"You know that's not what I want to hear."
"And yet you're smiling…" he touched a finger to her slightly upturned lips.
"Because I can't help being grateful for how much you care, even if I wish you would care a little less."
"Not going to happen." He pressed his cheek to the top of her head. "You know what might help me breathe more easily though?"
"Hmm?"
"If you fulfilled the promise you made to me earlier this evening."
Eva laughed and pulled away from him a little. "You do remember the context in which that promise was made, don't you?"
"We both agreed that the club is not a good place for you."
"No, you agreed, and there wasn't much left for me to argue."
"Evangeline, you are not suited for a place like Fangtasia."
"And what makes you any more suited than me?"
"Do I really need to answer that?"
Eva smiled, but shook her head. "I always forget that you're a big bad vampire." She moved further away and sat up, cross-legged, facing him. "I can handle the club though. I'm not asking you to get rid of Pam again, not until you're ready, but if you decide you want to, I can handle it."
"I never want you to have to handle it. You see how much I worry about you on a daily basis, imagine how much more I would worry about you if you were at the club every night."
"Fine, you win that argument. But there are still other things we need to talk about."
"Such as?"
"Don't play dumb, you know what I'm talking about."
He stared at her, expressionless.
"Eric, regardless of the concern you might have for me, those images I saw in your mind…you can't change that."
"I shouldn't have thought them."
"But you did."
"And I've apologized."
"Do you want to talk about it though?"
"Not really." He shrugged. "Another time perhaps. What we should talk about though is the situation downstairs right now."
"You mean Jessica and Hoyt?" Eva laughed. "They're just having fun."
"She needs supervision."
"Like the supervision you gave her when she was staying at Fangtasia?"
"She told you about that?"
"Oh yes. I heard all about the fun times she had there."
"I'm not arguing that she's better here, with you and Bill to look after her, I was just making sure that you were in fact aware of their activity downstairs."
"I gave her one hour. I trust her."
"And I trust you." He sat up straight. "Now as for that promise you gave me earlier…"
"Now?"
"Why not now?"
"It's late Eric. I'm tired."
"Which makes now a perfect time."
"I don't see the harm in waiting one more day."
"Eva, you're weak. I can see that. I saw that the second you arrived back in town. You're tired and drained and damaged…"
"I'm fine."
"You've been through a lot while away from us, you can't deny that. You have suffered emotionally, mentally, and…" he hesitated.
"And?"
"Physically."
She wondered how much he had managed to piece together regarding what she hadn't told him.
"I only suffered by being away from you and Bill."
"Nice try, sweetheart." He smirked. Recovering a more serious expression, he faced her squarely. "Evangeline, tell me what really happened to you while you were away."
"What do you mean? Nothing happened. I traveled, saw lots of places, drank lots of wine, met lots of nice people…"
"Were all of them nice?" He asked.
"Why would you ask that?" She asked.
"You're hurting, I can tell. You're happy to be back, but there's something that is aching inside you…" he said. "Something you won't discuss, but also have not recovered from."
"We both have things we'd rather not discuss," she said. "Now it's my turn to tell you not to pry."
"Fine, have your secrets, but at least take my blood, as promised."
Eva considered refusing again, but the sincere plea in Eric's eyes convinced her. "Fine, but don't assume that just because I do it this once, I'm going to start doing it regularly again."
"I never assume anything with you, Evangeline," Eric said. His fangs emerged as he brought his arm up to his own mouth and bit hard, a couple inches above his wrist. The blood began to flow immediately. He held his arm out towards Eva. "Drink."
She sighed. It had been a long time, he was right about that, and she had certainly started feeling the effects of withdrawal while in Europe, but she had ignored them. She had promised herself she wouldn't start again, despite the reasons they had convinced her to begin in the first place.
He still waited.
She pulled her lips together briefly and then placed her hands on either side of the bite mark and lowered her mouth to him. She hesitated one more moment before obeying his request and drinking in his blood.
It was almost as sweet as the first time, though she knew nothing would ever taste as sublime as that first taste. She was thirteen the first time they had convinced her. She had refused for weeks, stubbornly telling them that if they wouldn't change her then she wouldn't take their blood. That was back when she still thought she needed to be a vampire like them to be happy. Eventually they had convinced her, though it came at a cost for each of the guys at the time; it's how she got her first pony and her first credit card. They had her best interest in mind, as they always did, and just as Eric did now. She knew that, which is why she always gave in. Protecting her was their priority.
"You can stop now," Eric said after a few minutes. "You've taken enough." He stroked her hair gently.
Eva pulled away from him, sitting back on her heels and covering her mouth as she licked the remaining blood from her lips.
"You always do that," he said.
"Do what?"
"Cover your mouth when you're done." Eric touched her hand. "You don't need to do that, you know."
"Old habits, I guess." She uncovered her mouth and smiled at him. "There, you've had your way, I took your blood. Is there something else you wanted?"
"Trying to get rid of me?"
"I assumed your customers would be missing you."
"Jealous?"
She only smiled.
"What?" He asked.
She shrugged.
"I know that smile," he said. "What are you thinking inside that little head of yours?"
"Do you remember my high school boyfriend, Jamie?" she asked.
"Quite well," he said.
"Do you remember when I asked you if you were jealous of him?"
He nodded.
"Do you remember what your answer was?"
He smiled a little, but didn't answer.
"You said that you could never be jealous of anyone because you knew that no one else would ever come close to the place you held in my life," she reminded him.
"That's right," he agreed.
"Well, that's what I say to you now. No one will ever fill the place I have in your life, so why should I be jealous?"
Eric laughed. "I've missed that confidence of yours." He grew suddenly serious. "Please don't run off again."
"We've already been over this," she said.
"I feel that it needs to be repeated."
"I'm not going to leave again," she said. "At least not without discussing it with you first."
"I can't lose you again, Evangeline." He said. "You don't know what it did to me."
She frowned. "I never meant it to hurt you."
"I felt like I lost a part of myself that I hadn't realized was even there."
"I'm sorry," she said. She didn't really feel like she needed to apologize, but she didn't know what else to say.
He slid a finger over the bite marks on his arm that had now closed up, and shook his head. "Don't apologize to me. Not for anything. I just need you to understand that your absence was unbearable."
She smiled and curled up beside him, forcing him to resituate himself again to accommodate her. "Thank you," she said.
"For what?"
"For missing me."
He kissed the top of her head and held her close.
"Will you stay here tonight?" she asked after a moment of quiet had passed.
Eric sighed. "You don't understand how uncomfortable it is for me to sleep in one of Bill's spare coffins like his prisoner."
"I didn't mean it that way," Eva said, "but I'm sorry for whatever has come between you and Bill to make his company so unbearable."
"There's no reason for you to be bothered with our problems," he said.
She frowned and started to pull away from him.
"We have a long history that doesn't have anything to do with you," he said. "You've always known that."
"Yes, but you've also always shared with me when things were getting hard."
"This is different," he said. "You just have to accept that we are not as we once were. The friendship we used to have is over."
"So then our family is truly over," she said. She slipped her feet over the edge of the bed and stood, moving towards the dresser where she had just finished putting away her clothes.
"Eva…"
She shook her head and pulled out a pair of pajama pants. "Like I said, I'm tired."
He was at her side in a moment. "Please don't be this way," he said, taking hold of her arms and forcing her to face him.
"I came home to be with my family again, or what's left of it," she said. "And now you're telling me that's impossible. You and Bill clearly cannot be my family when you can't even tolerate being under the same roof for more than a few minutes." She shook herself free from his grip.
"Maybe one day we can work through our differences…" he said.
"Don't bother for my sake," she said. "I'm a big girl. I don't need brothers to take care of me anymore."
Eric crossed his arms and glared at her.
"You may go now," she said. "I'd like to change."
"I'm not going anywhere," he said. "You're being stubborn, and you know it."
"Me? Stubborn?" She rolled her eyes and began to slip the straps of her dress over her shoulders. "You're the one who won't leave my room."
"I want to talk about this. I need you to understand that what's going on between Bill and myself does not at all effect the way we care for you."
She wriggled her dress down her body and let it drop to the floor.
"Evangeline!" He turned his head away from her. "What are you doing?"
"I'm changing," she said. "I asked you to leave."
"Please cover yourself," he said.
"Please leave," she said.
He headed towards the door, but paused before leaving and looked at her. "Bill and I aren't the only ones who have changed since you've been gone," he said.
When he shut the door again, Evangeline dropped to the floor and began to cry. She hadn't realized that the tears had been building up, but now she couldn't stop them.
…
Eric stood outside her door, listening to her crying for a few moments. He hated that he had made her upset. He had been the cause of her tears only twice before and both times it hurt him worse than silver on his skin. One day he wanted to be able to explain why he pulled away from her, and why he feared so much for her safety, but he knew she wasn't ready for the whole truth yet. Not to mention, she would undoubtedly be killed if he told her.
She had grown up a lot since Noah's death, much more quickly than he had wanted for her, but he could still see that she was a child in so many ways. It was his duty to protect her, just as it always was, no matter what she believed. He wished he could protect her from all the pain in the world, but he knew that was impossible. Though he was determined to do his best, and she would just have to accept that.
