It's Friday, just have to make it through college today and then it's Finn's party tonight. Bricking it would be an understatement.

We met up again this morning, and Finn led me through the corridors to my class again, and we all met up at the bench for lunch again. It was like a little ritual now.

Unfortunately mum is too busy planning to pick me up from college. Too busy to pick her only child up from their place of education, meaning I have to walk.

The last 2 hours of college dragged so much, probably because I was so anxious about tonight. What if I had to watch him kiss someone? What if it was Chloe?

I wonder if Finn knows I saw him and Chloe kissing at the rave.

I had to stop thinking about him. After all, he did say before I went away, that we couldn't really be friends right now. If he didn't want me as a friend, he wouldn't want me as anything else.

As soon as I got home I made myself a sandwich and went straight to my room.

Oasis and The Stone Roses were filling the air, background noise really.

All I can hear downstairs is mum and Karim laughing together, I don't even want to know what they're doing.

Dear Diary,

Made it through my first proper week of college. Suppose it helped that the gang were supporting me, especially Finn.

Considering he told me he couldn't be my friend, he's sure sending some mixed signals. It's frying my brain.

I'm so bored, diary. My room is so boring. I have nothing to do.

How do people spend their lives in their bedroom?! I've been home for maybe 2 hours and I already want to tear my face off through boredom.

I should be going to Finn's right now, but maybe it's better for me to not go. I'd just get jealous when he kisses anyone because of spin the bottle, if he ended up in a cupboard with someone I'd end up crying.

Why can't things just be easy?

I decide to get changed into something comfy, I pull my leggings on and my head is inside my top when I hear my door open.

"Can't you knock?!" I groan at my mum, as I pull the shirt down to cover myself and release my head I notice it isn't my mum at all.

"What are you doing here?" I stare wide-eyed at Finn.

"You didn't turn up, thought something might have happened, your mum let me in" he rubs the back of his head awkwardly.

Oh fuck.

Finn has just seen my body, in my most unattractive bra, with my head stuck in my shirt.

"I should have knocked, sorry" he shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

"It's okay. Shouldn't you be at yours though? Entertaining guests" I sit on the edge of my bed and he copies me.

"Just checking up on you" he doesn't look at me.

Maybe he's thinking about how the last time he was in my room was when he revealed his magical fingers, because that's what was on my mind.

"It's strange being back here" he says quietly, looking around.

"Strange having you back here" I twiddle my thumbs, surely he should be getting back to the party?

"Is there anything else you wanted?" he looks up at me and I can tell he's thinking.

"I'm waiting for you to come to the party"

"Finn, I don't think it's a good idea" he doesn't answer, just sits staring at me.

"I'm being serious" he rolls his eyes and gets up, throwing my jacket at me.

"Come on, I'll wait outside" and he walks out. Leaving my with my mouth open.

I walk down the stairs and see my mum standing there holding my bag.

"Mum?" I ask confused, she hands me my bag.

"Back here before dinner tomorrow" is all she says before going into the kitchen.

What the fuck is happening today? Mum usually has a bitch fit if I stay out.


I get on the back of Finn's bike and he drives to his house, and I'm still in a daze when we arrive.

Something was definitely strange.

There's no where near as many people as there was at my party, which made it less uncomfortable.

Archie was chatting to some guy in the corner, Chloe was playing tonsil tennis with a second year from college, Izzy and Chop were sat laughing at each other, and I didn't know any of the other people. I guess I missed a lot while I was away.

Finn leads me to the middle of the room where they're playing drinking games.

Ahh why the hell not?

The games were hard to keep track of and I ended up giving in, I had consumed enough alcohol to intoxicate an elephant. Just then a blonde girl suggested spin the bottle. Everyone started gathering in a circle, Chop and Izzy sat on either side of me, Chloe and Finn opposite, Archie nowhere in sight.

"Chop" I nudge his arm.

"What's up Raemundo?" he grins.

"Can you maybe, I don't know, warn me if you think the bottle will land on him... You know how the bottle works." He nods slightly and pats my hand.

First spin lands on Chloe, she instantly straightens her dress, the bottle lands on Izzy. They share a quick peck on the lips.

The bottle lands on everyone that I don't know, and they all exchange kisses.

"Okay taking it up a notch, you know the drill love birds, cupboard for 7 minutes in heaven"

And the bottle lands on Finn.

Chop looks at me from the corner of his eye and smiles a little, he's planned this.

Of course, it lands on me. Finn takes a big gulp of his drink and walks out to the cupboard. I take a deep breath and stand up, the alcohol clouding my vision for a second, but I recover quickly and make my way into the cupboard.

"We need to stop meeting like this" I smile, he raises an eyebrow.

"Y'know... This happened last time too..." he nods.

"I know Rae, except this time you're not being a dick to me" he laughs and I frown a bit.

"Having fun?" he asks.

"It's alright" I put my hands behind my back, against the wall, then I realise it's causing me to be closer to him. He inhales sharply and I quickly move my hands so I can step back a bit.

"Are you okay?" I ask him, he has his eyes closed, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Just..." he didn't finish his sentence. I let my gaze drop, taking in his neck, his shoulders, his arms. I had missed those arms. Hell I'd missed all of him.

"Why'd you end it?" I wasn't expecting to be asked something like that.

"I told you, the whole college thing, me being mental, not feeling good enough" he shook his head at me.

"There's nothing else?"

"I'm not exactly the type of person expect you to go for, I'm no Stacey Stringfellow" he sighs.

"And I'm glad! I couldn't stand her! You're everything I could wish for, and more. And fuck everyone else, it ain't none of their business" his fists are clenched at his sides.

"I'm sorry for fucking everything up. And I know you said you can't be friends with me but-" he chuckles softly.

"I can't be friends with you, because I want you as more than that. I can't have you as a friend now that I know what it's like to have you to myself" he rests his forehead on mine.

"I wouldn't be able to handle seeing you happy with someone else"

"I don't think I'd be happy with anyone else anyway" I say quietly. He places a kiss on my forehead.

"It's still true y'know"

"What?"

He pulls me into a hug and writes those 3 little words on my back again.

And I may be drunk, but I know now for definite, that he didn't write "I'm an emu".


Hope you guys are enjoying it so far :)