*I got a tumblr. My link's in the profile. Maybe you could follow it? Maybe. :3
Did this update take long? I don't even know. If it did, I apologize for how short this one is.
Welp, here's number 7. Only three more to go!
Disc 7:
Heaven
"Carlos?"
"Mm?"
"Does heaven exist?"
This wasn't the kind of question the scientist was expecting at midnight. The night was cool and the sky was clear; moonlight shone through the open window and a warm breeze blew through the bedroom. The unusual serenity of it all had made Carlos drowsy very quickly, and the broadcaster's inquiry just threw him off.
Carlos didn't exactly know how to answer his boyfriend's question. Sure, he was firm in his own personal thoughts, but Cecil was so impressionable sometimes. He didn't want him to take his views for his own; he wanted Cecil to believe whatever he wanted to believe.
Carlos sighed and ran a hand through his tangled curls. "Do you think it exists?" he mused.
"I think so..," Cecil responded from his crumpled position against Carlos' side.
"Then it exists." Carlos closed his eyes and tried to drift back off to sleep, hoping Cecil would take that as a satisfactory answer.
"Do you think it's real?" Cecil asked after a few moments. Carlos felt him sit up, could feel his eyes staring down on him. He rolled over on his side to face the other.
"I think..," the scientist carefully began, slow and unsure. "I think that we all... have our own ways of thinking, and that they don't really matter. I think that if you think there's an afterlife and I think there's just dirt, it doesn't matter. That stuff's not important."
Carlos could see Cecil's eyes, shining in the dark, purplish orbs against the black. They were blank; there was no sign of understanding, no sign of confusion.
"So you believe all we do is rot in the ground?" Cecil said after a long pause.
Carlos rubbed his eyes, tired and not wanting to have this conversation. "I never said that."
"You sort of did," Cecil pointed out, shrugging his slight, edgy shoulders.
"Look, Cecil," Carlos forced himself up and looked Cecil in the eye. "If you believe there's a heaven, there's a heaven, alright? It doesn't matter what I believe. I'm not you. What I think isn't important. So stop thinking about it and go the hell to sleep, okay?"
Carlos laid back down and rolled away from Cecil, covering his head with his cool pillow, hoping to block the other out. Seconds and minutes passed, and the scientist felt like he was in the clear -
"So you believe in hell, then?"
Carlos groaned into the bed. "Why do you care, Cecil?!" He spit, his lack of sleep wearing on his patience.
"Because," the other responded. "I just want to know. That's all. I want to know what goes on inside your head, what you're thinking about."
Pushing the pillow away, Carlos eyed Cecil, debating. "Okay," he nodded. "Fine. What I think is that there's no way to prove there's a deity, but there's ways to prove evolution. I think that the concept of a soul is very far-fetched. I think that there's no possible way for another realm to exist in which we spend the rest of eternity. So, no, I don't exactly believe in a heaven."
Cecil didn't say anything back; he made a little 'hm' noise and remained static.
"That's what I think," Carlos continued, "and it doesn't matter. What matters now is, well... now. Why waste your life dwelling on what's going to happen after it? Live for now. Live for your job and what you love. Live for you. Don't let what other people say and think get in your way, okay? Live for you and for now."
Cecil chewed on his bottom lip, thinking. "But... what if I end up in hell or - "
"Cecil, stop it," Carlos propped himself up against the wooden headboard and pulled Cecil close to him. "Don't worry about it. Besides, you'd go to hell, anyway," The scientist half-smiled. "You've laid with another man one too many times."
Cecil shook with silent laughter. "And that's not something I can change, is it?"
"Why would you want to change it?" Carlos asked. "There's no point to it. Live for you, Cecil. If you want to be happy, live for you."
So there's that one. Thanks for those who've reviewed, followed, and favorited. I love you. Sort of. -w-
Review and look for number 8! An update might take awhile; I'm busy and I'm also starting more things on here because I'm restless.
