"the natural life
you're born, you die
the natural life
you're wrong, you're right
the natural life
you're born, you die
the natural life's a lie" - Breaking Benjamin - Natural Life


Did I hear her correctly? Iris is alive…? But…

I leaned back, my mind once again spinning. Surely, it shouldn't be so hard to accept that, now that the facts are glaring in my face. I felt my stomach clench and heart race. It was so natural to cling so strongly to hope now, simply give into that elating feeling that everything is going to be all right. I'll see her again… Her face will be clear in the light of the waking world. The dreams clouded her features, her voice sounded colorless. She was simply a shell of the real, alive and kicking Shepard. My chest tightened, as I remembered the very first dream of her. It felt like someone dumped cold water on me – she was not my Iris. It was just like seeing her clone all that time ago – everything looked the same except for that bit that made Iris, well, Iris. That made me fall in love with her.

I cleared my thoughts to address the matter at hand. How did Liara determine that Iris was alive?

Raising my head, I looked at her, before speaking.

"How do you know that? I want to be sure." If she could hear my subvocals, she would definitely have noticed the mix of hope and fear that reverberated in my throat.

Liara gazed back at me for a moment. "I am not quite sure myself. It's just that…" she adjusted herself in her chair "Dreams work in a simple manner. Your brain uses them to keep your consciousness occupied while it does its job at sorting through all the information that you acquired that day, organizing and storing everything. It also looks through all that you previously have learned and makes adjustments."

I sighed and interrupted her "You're starting as far away from the point as possible, aren't you?"

That only got me a slightly raised eyebrow, before she continued "Not exactly, Garrus. What I am trying to say is that dreams usually reflect what you know. This is not always the case, but usually dreams are created from the material that you already have inside your brain. While the same could, in a way, be applied to your situation, I don't think that it would be right."

Liara leaned in, linking her fingers. I had a few seconds to try to piece the information and see why it should be relevant to me, when she carried on.

"Your dreams don't seem to be linked that much with your memories and all that you know."

I had a flash of understanding what she meant, before I lost it. I still don't get it.

"Wait. I know Iris and I know Thane. Surely, the landscape can be from one of countless planets that we visited during our missions." I waved one of my hands in the air, trying to make sense of it all. Maybe showing her my dreams wasn't such a good idea.

Liara sighed, slight exasperation marking her voice as she spoke.

"I think, Thane has never told you about drell religion. That they believe that they will meet their dead loved ones 'across the sea'."

"No… He didn't." What the…

Liara half-smiled, no one really has the emotional capacity for a full blown smile these days. "See… That's a fact that you didn't know, but it appeared in your dreams. Actually, I'm very interested in why these dreams are not only so persistent, but they also have a certain continuity."

Her next words seemed to carry over my head, as I was so deep in thought. But as soon as they registered, I sat up straighter.

"What did you say?" I asked, an odd feeling settling in. And that certain spark of anxiety joined it soon after.

"I said, that I had felt a presence of someone else inside your mind. " Her voice careful, words uttered slowly and steadily.

"Wha-?" The hell? I'm not sure how to react to this part of the news. I stood up and started my nervous pacing. I could feel Liara watching me. I turned to her and saw her open her mouth then close it.

"Wait… There's more, isn't there?"

She nodded.

"I think I should voice out one more of my suspicions. I believe, you had actually met the intruder. It's not Shepard, I assure you." She uttered the last part, when she noticed my rigid stature. Now, it was her turn to pace her office, throwing glances at the whirring screens on the wall.

I thought that this was a bad idea, coming to Liara and showing her what I had to experience every night. But the more it went on, the more I realized that it was the right thing to do. What if this intruder was screwing with my brain and I had eventually gone crazy?

I had once seen a turian that has gone insane. It was during my C-Sec days… I would have never revisited that memory, but now, it occupied my mind, asking for attention.

The day at the office promised nothing out of the ordinary. A couple of cases of people using red sand and jumping others in the lower wards. Simply nothing that could have stood out or made my day a bit more troublesome than usual. And then we received a call. It seemed that drugs were the main theme that day, for what we heard, a turian that had overdosed and apparently went completely insane, had bunkered up in one of the shops and started shooting at people. A group of officers, myself included, were dispatched to solve the problem. It wasn't that hard to get through to the turian – his hand shook as he pulled the trigger over and over again. His aim was off so he soon ran out of thermal clips, tossed his gun over one of the crates and jumped out himself, running towards one of the officers. He was restrained with little to no effort, and it all would have gone by uneventfully if it weren't for the things he shrieked as he was pulled towards the car. He was a turian completely unhinged – eyes bloodshot, his frame frail and gangly. And still… his screams were soul-ripping; my subvocals seemed to ache as I heard all the little notes that his voice was loaded with – grief, despair and so much unrestrained sorrow. And then there was it – before the turian was shoved into the car, I caught it. Livia. A name, one comprehensible word that bubbled to the surface of all the shrieking.

When I went back to my office, I did a little research and found out the turian's name. He was Sephius Aranin and had a wife named Livia. Apparently, she went missing, and then she was declared dead. I made a guess that this was what pushed Sephius into drugs. And insanity.

But how could I have not taken notice of that look he gave me then? That one steady gaze that he brought upon me and pierced me with. The look that I recognized in my own eyes when I took in my reflection in the mirror just a few days ago.

"Garrus. Garrus, are you okay?" I saw Liara gazing at me with a look of worry.

I cleared my throat. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

I could see that she was still eyeing me, as if looking for a sign that proved my words wrong. Fortunately, she let it go.

"What worries me, though, is that the intruder didn't feel like an asari… It can't be a Reaper, too, since they were destroyed." Liara went on.

"So what is it, then?" I asked. Iris told me about Leviathans, but really, they have no reason to bother with me.

"The presence didn't feel overwhelming. In fact, it felt quite…familiar." Once again, she began pacing while I sat down and tried to take it all in.

"There's only one other race that I know of that could mind meld with someone else." Liara mumbled under her breath. "But… it's not possible."

That piqued my interest, "What's not possible?"

Liara turned to me and said, "Protheans could do that… But Javik is gone, isn't he?"

My body froze. Javik…

"Truth to be told, we never looked for him. We don't know for sure if he's dead, but if he actually followed through his plan, then he must be."

Liara stopped mid stride. She turned to face me, her face alight with something that I couldn't exactly distinguish. Then, she walked towards me. "That's why it felt so familiar."

Her voice gained volume and strength. I have never seen her so shaken. Not since we had found the last living Prothean, that is.

"That's why he knew about Thane. Drell religion is tied with hanar religion, and hanars had a distinct name for Protheans – they called them Enkindlers. That's why he knew… Unless I am wrong – but it all points to him – Javik is alive! Oh, Goddess!" Liara collapsed into her chair and took her head in her shaking hands.

It took me a moment to catch up. Javik is alive, too? But how?

Then I heard it – a silent, barely audible giggle, that soon grew into a laugh. Liara was laughing, and for the second time that day tears ran down her cheeks. When her happiness steadied out, she smiled – a true, genuine and joyful smile. I gave her the turian equivalent of a smile back, I felt something tingle in my chest. Warmth, excitement and…hope?

As Liara looked me in the eyes and I returned the gaze, we both knew what each other was thinking.

What now?


Sorry for the delay! I had some life stuff to take care of and help a friend write his essay - those are never easy. Also, and it seems a bit weird, but I've taken up a habit for this story - I write down the ending chapters. I do have the whole plot planned out, so even if it takes a while for me to write the middle, I will probably fly through the ending as it is mostly already put down. I just wish that the best ideas would come to me when I'm not trying to fall asleep...