Ok this is it, no more chapters. I worked on it so I could post it quicker. Hope you enjoy it.

The Little Red Tattoo

Chapter 12 – Part 2

Deeks had no idea how he made it home or how long it took to get there but he was sitting in his car parked in his usual space.

He still couldn't believe what she had said to him. I just don't feel that way about you.

How was that possible? How could she completely forget about their 'thing'? Or their night together before she was sent to Afghanistan? Or the hundreds of other moments they had together. He understood the nature of the injury but still some memories should have survived.

The final knockout blow was her refusal to include him in the process. Why didn't she want his help?

Slowly he dragged himself into the apartment and threw himself onto the couch. Monty was right there trying to cheer him up. "She doesn't want our help boy. What are we going to do now?"

Letting out a long sigh he made his way into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of Tequila from the cabinet and took the first hit straight out of the bottle and then the second one immediately after it. By the time he was done so was the bottle.


When Julia heard the front door close she came back into the room to find Kensi alone sitting there looking at her knife.

"Where's Marty? What did you say to him?"

"I had to tell him mom. He had a right to know." The words were spat out without any emotion.

"Kensi I told you how much he cares about you. He just wants to help you." Julia couldn't believe how cold she was toward him.
"Well I don't need his help and right now I don't need a lecture from you either. I told him I was sorry, what more did you want me to say?"

Julia couldn't hold her tongue any longer. She had tiptoed around Kensi long enough when it came to the topic of one Marty Deeks.

"A little compassion Kensi, for God's sake the man loves you. Even when he thought you were dead he still never stopped loving you. Do you have any idea how strong that love has to be?"

"Mom, please!"

"No you need to hear this. There was a time you loved him too. Do you know how I know this? You wrote him a letter when you were in Afghanistan and I think you need to read it."

Julia stormed off and returned within a minute with a piece of paper in her hand and stuck it in Kensi' face saying "Here. Read it."

Taking the letter from Julia's hand, Kensi looked at it and saw it was in her hand writing.

"How did you get this if I wrote it for Deeks? If he loved me so much why didn't he keep it?"

"Marty did keep it for the longest time, reading it over and over until he just couldn't take the pain anymore. He could never destroy it because it was from you, but he needed a safe place for it. That's when he asked me if I would hold it for him. Of course I said yes and so here it is."

Kensi wasn't in the mood to be challenged on her decision regarding Deeks so she grabbed the letter and stomped up to her room. Throwing herself onto the bed she looked at the letter again but instead of reading it, she stuffed it under the pillow. She took out the knife, turning it over in her hand and began thinking of her father; those memories were becoming clearer and clearer to her. She soon drifted off to sleep but it was a restless sleep with one vision occurring over and over. She tossed and turned unable to get comfortable, even punching the pillow to soften it up wasn't working. It felt like she was resting on a brick.

Finally giving in, she pulled the letter out and turned the light on so she could read it.

The first time Kensi read her words to Deeks the tears welled up in her eyes. One sentence in particular stuck out 'I want you to keep my dad's knife. I know you will care for it the way I did.' It was then she realized what that dream was trying to tell her.

That recurring vision of her handing someone the knife but never being able to see his face was now crystal clear. It was Deeks!

The second and third time she read it, she was outright crying with the tears running down her face. When Julia entered the room she knew that Kensi now understood. Moving to her daughter she began holding her to console her.

"Why can't I remember him? Why can't I remember us?"

"You're hurt baby and you need to heal. This will take some time but you must let all of us help you. We all love you very much and want to see you get better."

"I really did love him, didn't I?" Tears were still running down her face and on to Julia's robe.

"I think you still do. You just need to let him in and show you how good the two of you are together." As Kensi looked up, Julia brushed the hair off her daughter's face and looked at her.

"I'm afraid, mom. I'm afraid I won't be able to love him again."
"Honey, you just need to spend time with Marty and I know you will fall in love with him all over again. The two of you had something very special together and you will again. He is a good man, but more importantly he loves you more that life it self."

"I don't know, I just don't know if I can."

"Take your time with him, be patient like he has been with you and just let it happen."

They stayed there the rest of the night with Kensi sleeping on Julia's shoulder and Julia holding her and praying for her to get better.


Deeks knew that Kensi had been meeting with all the others and it cut him to the core knowing she would rather be spending time with them, trying to re-build her life and not with him. He wanted to call her everyday but couldn't bring himself to do it. He kept hearing those words over and over again and that was enough to dissuade him.

Work was a disaster, the lack of sleep was taking its toll and he couldn't focus on anything. The nights were too long and the pain was too much to endure. Even the ocean and surfing held no solace for him.

He finally asked his Captain for some time off to get his head together. He took a week off and drove up the coast, just him and Monty stopping at all the well known surfing spots to try and get back on that board again. He finally did but his heart wasn't in it. His thoughts were miles away focusing on a certain brunette who no longer cared if he was alive. He barely survived the first time he lost her, how was he going to get through this?

Back in LA he continued to spiral down into an abyss. His apartment was a mess and he only went out to grab more food or when Monty's whining became too loud to ignore.

One night Deeks and Monty were returning from a walk when he noticed a blonde woman leaning against his car. As he got closer he realized it was Liz and he knew he had to face her since she had seen them and was already waving at him.

Monty had spotted her and ran over to greet her. She was scratching behind Monty's ears waiting for Deeks to arrive.

"Hi Liz. How have you been?"
"Well judging from the way you look Marty, a hell of a lot better than you. What's going on? The office chatter is that you are going through a nervous breakdown."

"I have a lot going on that I need to sort out." He had Monty's leash around his neck and he was playing with it, sliding it back and forth.

"Do you want someone to talk to? You know I'm a good listener." She was trying to make eye contact with him but it wasn't easy, he was being very evasive. She knew that was a bad sign.

"Liz, I appreciate you coming by and checking up on me but I'll be fine. Really."

"Marty it could help to talk about it. I know it involves your ex-partner but I could give you some perspective." She was being sincere but Deeks couldn't expose her to this situation.

"I don't think it would right and it's something that I need to do. I hope you can understand."
"I think I do. Promise me you will take care of yourself. Please."

"I will Liz, I promise." Raising his right hand as he said it.

She smiled and shook her head at his gesture.

"Ok then, I'm going to go, but if you decide that you need someone to talk to, please call me. I'm still your friend and I care about you." Deeks nodded slowly.

Liz moved toward him and gave him a long hug and a small kiss on the lips.

She caressed his face and looked into his blue eyes one more time wondering what this woman could have done to him to hurt him this much. "Come see me when you return to work, I'll buy you a coffee." She slowly ran her hand along his jaw, turned and walked back to her car glancing back a couple of times before driving away.

As Deeks watched Liz drive off he didn't notice that Kensi was sitting in her mother's car parked at the opposite end of the lot watching the brief encounter. Kensi didn't know who the woman was but watching them kiss started a small fire in the pit of her stomach. It was a feeling she knew well but hadn't experienced in quite some time. She watched him and Monty go back into the apartment and then drove away.

The next week saw Deeks trying to break out of his funk but without much luck. His walks with Monty became shorter and his trips to the beach held no escape for him either.

Calls from Sam and Eric went unanswered as well as those from Nell. His Captain had issued him an ultimatum to return to work by the following week or he was fired. Well things were definitely not getting better and Deeks seems to care less and less with every day that pasted.


It was almost midnight and Deeks was sitting on his couch flipping through the channels on the television set and drinking another beer. He was contemplating whether or not to remain on the couch or go and lie in his bed awake. It really didn't much matter were he lay his head the net result was always the same.

He was just about to call it a night when there was a knock at the door. Getting up he grabbed his gun and moved to answer the door. The lack of sleep had made him a little paranoid and you can never be too careful. He looked through the peep hole and froze temporarily. This was the last person he ever expected to see at his place at this time of night.

He put the gun down, steadied himself and opened the door.

"Deeks, I'm….I'm sorry for showing up so late but I…I think, no I need to say something to you. I've been sitting out there for over an hour so can I please come in?"

Stepping aside Deeks let Kensi in and closed the door behind her. He turned around and faced her, shoving both hands into his pockets and praying she wouldn't hear the pounding of his heart against his chest.

He was looking down at his shoes waiting for her to speak when he saw her boots stop just in front of him. He slowly looked up and she was standing mere inches from his face. She was looking into his eyes and allowing him to look right into her soul. When he did, he saw something that he hadn't seen in a very, very long time. As he began to smile and as if on cue, they both closed their eyes as she leaned into him, placing both hands on his face and kissing him, softly, slowly at first and then with increasing passion. It wasn't rushed or hard with lust, it was something they both wanted to savour and needed to last. This one kiss, whether he it knew it then or not, was years in the making. It was years of longing, hoping, praying all culminating at this exact moment. He moved his arms around her and began to pull her close, as close as he could. He wasn't going to let her slip away this time.

Kensi relaxed completely in his arms and gave into this wonderful feeling, one she hadn't felt in a life time. That one kiss told her she was home at last. That one kiss told her, her long and arduous journey was at an end and her life, the one she was destined to live, was beginning again.

They separated and looked at one another waiting for the other to say something. Of course it was Deeks that broke the silence.

"So I'm guessing you remember me now."

"Not really, but I'm working on it. I was hoping you could give me a hand with that."

"A hand, a foot, my lips, my gorgeous body, whatever you need to get better."

Kensi laughed a little and moved her hand down to his chest and was resting it over his heart. She looked down at it, waited a second or two as she felt the steady beat against her palm and then looked back into his eyes. "I think I already have the one thing I need most to get better."

"Kensi Marie Blye, I believe that head injury is a lot worst than I thought. We need to get you to a hospital as soon as possible because it's made you go all mushy."

That prompted a light punch in the shoulder from her as well as a smile. "Shut-up, this isn't easy learning to be me with you again. You should be helping not teasing me."

"You are absolutely correct, I most definitely should be helping you and I'm going to start right now."

With that he pulled her close not wanting to let her go ever again. He leaned in finding her lips ready for the next round of memory enhancement therapy a la Deeks.

When they finally pulled away he rested his forehead against hers and let out a long breath.

He wasn't going to wait any longer so he just went for it.

"I love you Kensi, I want to be part of your life and do everything I can to help you recover. I will there for you every step of the way. I'll quit work if I have to just to take care of you. Just give…"

She had placed her right index finger against his lips to silence him.

"I want you with me. I need you with me. There is no one else I would rather be with to walk me through my past and into my future, than you."

"Stay with me tonight. Stay with me every night."

She smiled, cupped her hands on his face and kissed him lightly saying "Yes." Then she kissed him again softly and said "Yes."

Deeks knew she couldn't say those words to him just yet, but soon, hoped, real soon.


What Deeks eventually came to know was that Kensi had spent all her time doing research on him and their relationship. She needed to know who he was and more importantly who she was with him. So when she was out with the other members of the old team, Kensi was focusing on Deeks and their partnership and how they were together. She was so surprised how everyone was so willing to help her and how they went out of their way to show her pictures, recount stories and provide her with all the details of their partnership / relationship. She learned all about their 'thing', how they would fight or bicker, the banter between them and the numerous times that Deeks saved her life. Little by little it all started to fall into place for Kensi. She didn't have all her memories back but what she had now was more than enough to show her who she really was and why he was so important to her.

Deeks would never see that little red tattoo. She had it removed once the debriefing by NCIS was completed. Her memories of those events in her life were very vague and sporadic and she was thankful for that. The little information she was given regarding that time was horrifying enough, to actually have solid memories of it would be more that she could take. She needed to erase the red scorpion both literally and figuratively.

Every now and then, when Deeks and Kensi were in bed, he would happen upon the mark and run his fingers over the area or even kiss it but he never knew exactly what it was. Although he did constantly ask her what caused the discoloration of her skin, she never told him. It was a part of her past that she never wanted to surface again or expose him to. They had both suffered enough. It was time to heal and move forward together.

End….Actually, a new beginning.


Well there it is. Thanks to everyone that read the story and to all of those who reviewed it; your comments are great and much appreciated.

I am going to finish my first story "And There He Was… Gone". I 'm sorry I left it hanging but this just took over.

Thanks again.