A/N: Whoomp there it is. And have I mentioned that Kitty in this story is so much fun? She kind of reminds me of a young April Rhodes for some reason? Oh well. I hope you're all having just as much fun reading this as I'm having writing it. But this is about Ryder and Marley so she probably won't be here much longer. She's really only here as the voice of reason between these two crazy kids. Please R&R, I would really appreciate it :) And thanks to those who have already done it!
And I own nothing related to Glee. I'm sure we all know that the writers of the 103K+ fanfictions for Glee don't own the show, but I just have to put this disclaimer for copyright reasons or something. _
Sunday Morning
"Marley? It's Kitty!" Marley heard as she got another cup of coffee. She opened the door to let Kitty in.
"Jesus, I've been trying to call you since yesterday but your phone's busy. Are you okay, you look awful." Kitty greeted as she sat down in the chair.
"I'm fine. I've just been busy." Marley explained shortly.
"Yeah, busy getting some vitamin D. Unique and Tina said they saw you leaving the bar Friday night with someone. So how was it? I need details." Kitty replied eagerly.
"I don't want to talk about Friday. I have other things I need to deal with." Marley sighed as she got back onto her laptop.
"What are you doing?" Kitty asked as she picked up the notebook that had names and numbers crossed out.
"Okay, I need to find a date to my ex-boyfriend's wedding which is in about six weeks." Marley said irritably.
"Jake Puckerman? The guy you spent three months moping over freshman year of college?" Kitty said disgustedly.
"Yeah." Marley sighed.
"Why are you going?" Kitty continued.
"Because apparently my mom is the one responsible for putting me on the guest list and yesterday, I kind of freaked out and told her that I was over Jake and even had a new boyfriend to prove it. So now, I have to generate a stable relationship out of thin air and take him to meet my mother." Marley replied as she created yet another online dating profile.
"You realize how crazy you sound right?" Kitty scoffed.
"Hey! She's alive!" Ryder said as he opened the cracked door.
"And on the verge of a meltdown." Kitty continued.
"Yeah, so Marley, please explain why you called all the guys I set you up with, willing to give them another chance if they legally change their first name to Gus?" Ryder asked her.
"Because I tried to call Gus first but he was going through some stuff, so I just stopped thinking and started dialing numbers." Marley answered.
"Why?" Kitty and Ryder asked together.
"Because I told my mom I was dating a guy named Gus and now I have find someone named Gus. In fact, he doesn't even have to be named Gus, I just need a straight, single, male who I can tolerate long enough when I'm in the same town as both my mother and ex!" Marley answered.
"So what's the game plan?" Kitty asked.
"I've set up dating profiles on six different websites and I'm looking through every phonebook database within fifty miles to find a man." Marley answered as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.
"Why don't you call the guy who gave you that hickey?" Kitty asked her.
"What? There's a hickey?" Marley asked, as she looked at the spot on her neck. "Jesus, Ry. What are you, a vampire?" she spat out angrily at him.
"I'm sorry." he muttered embarrassedly.
"That was you? You and her?" Kitty asked him as her eyes grew wide with excitement.
"Nothing happened. It was the spotlight kiss and it sort of got out of hand until I stopped it before we would do something we'd both regret." Ryder explained.
"Liars. You did it. On a scale of one to ten, how was it?" Kitty asked them.
"Kitty." Marley warned.
"More than ten?" Kitty went on.
"Shut up Kitty!" both Marley and Ryder yelled.
"Okay, okay." Kitty relented.
"Wait a minute, Kitty you're a genius!" Marley exclaimed.
"Excuse me?" Kitty asked.
"Ryder, will you pretend to be my boyfriend for a week and go with me to Lima and keep me from totally going off the deep end?" Marley asked as she waved Kitty off.
"No. No. No. I'm not…have you lost your freaking mind, woman?" Ryder asked her.
"Come on, you're the only guy who I can stand to be around, you're moderately successful, you're handsome, and you keep me from doing crazy stuff all the time. You just have to pretend to be in love with me! And what about all the things I do for you? You promised you would be there for me for anything, no matter how crazy it was." Marley begged.
"Really? Am I really the best guy for this job? We almost had sex! I don't think I'm the best buffer between you and your irrational actions. Ryder said, ignoring her.
"But you stopped me from making a big mistake. You could stop me from possibly interrupting the wedding…or stabbing Jake with the knife he cuts his wedding cake with. Please?" she asked.
"I could use a vacation off work, I guess." Ryder muttered.
"So you'll do it?" Marley exclaimed.
"Ask me again. I want you to do it like you're proposing." Ryder continued.
"Fine." Marley huffed as she got down on one knee. "Ryder Lynn, will you pretend to be my boyfriend?" Marley asked with Fake sweetness.
"Okay. But open bar at the wedding or the deal's off." Ryder agreed.
"I'm with you on the open bar thing actually." Marley shrugged.
"Aw, you guys are so cute! You need a couple name, like Brangelina, or Jennoist! How about Ryley?" Kitty exclaimed as they shook on it.
"Ignore her and she'll stop." Marley said to Ryder.
"And oh my god, you could use that name for your first born child!" Kitty continued.
"No." Marley and Ryder said in unison.
"So when is this wedding?" Ryder asked.
"Six weeks. So we have plenty of time to create an adorable yet convincing cover story for our whirlwind love affair." Marley answered.
"A cover story?" Ryder scoffed.
"Well, we need to make people believe that people like us could fall in love." Marley answered matter of factly.
"Excuse me, I'm charming enough to create chemistry with a rock. You're the one who needs to melt the icy attitude so people think we have a healthy relationship." Ryder said egotistically.
"You know what? We're just going to wing it. How hard could it be? I mean, when we kissed I obviously didn't feel physically ill afterwards. We can do this." Marley said confidently.
"Well here's to us. And may our fake relationship withstand the first test of commitment." Ryder said as they toasted each other with their coffee cups.
"I'll drink to that." Marley replied with a smile.
