Thanks for all the reviews. This chapter was tough for me, so I'm really anxious to see what you all think.
Chapter 3
Trudging up the stairs that led to the overpriced box Dembe had secured for him, Red was beyond exhausted.
Hungover and irritable, he'd had to meet with an overly chatty contact four hours across the Irish Sea in Liverpool. The fact that the conversation yielded next to nothing in terms of who had bank rolled Garrik's assault on the Post Office only served to irriate him further. So he'd returned to his apartment bemoaning the loss of time and contemplating his next move.
In truth Red should have been moving to the next safe house. He hadn't stayed in the same country longer than three days at a time following the incursion. But Dembe was coming in the morning and he needed him for the next phase of the mission: uncovering the deficit in his organization that assisted Garrick and Fitch in upsetting his arrangement with the FBI thereby impeding his progress with the Blacklist; with Lizzie.
Inside his apartment, Red let himself indulge in the thought of her. She'd been hovering at the edge of his mind all day, ever since he'd awaken on his bathroom floor, an empty bottle of Jameson's and his cell phone kicked across the tile.
Red had dreamed of her again. As he had every night since limping away from Garrick's torture chamber. Visions of the rare smiles she bestowed on him, interpersed with nightmares of her at some nameless psychopath's mercy, linked with dreams of moments he wanted to share with her in the future.
Red grimaced as he walked into his bedroom, pulling at his tie. He had to get control of himself. His preoccupation with Elizabeth Keen had only grown since he had left and most of the night before was an alcoholic blur because of it. He needed to focus, which meant he needed to be sober. Which meant he needed to put her out of his mind.
Red roamed the apartment, restlessly from the bedroom to the small sitting room to the even smaller kitchen and back again. Finally he sat near a window looking out over the city.
Dublin sounds like home.
Red couldn't recall how he ended up in the bathroom or even calling her, but his last words swung over his head like Damocles' sword. What had he been thinking of? Her. He'd been thinking distinctly of her creamy skin, illuminated by her dark hair. Those ocean colored eyes and cherry lips that brought the demons in him to heel.
Shaking his head, as if to clear it, Red reached for the bottle of wine he'd left from lunch. He sat at the window for hours, until he finally retired to his bedroom. Red lay there in the dark running through his next steps in his mind. It was nearly 3am when Red slide out of bed, grabbed his gun from the table and made himself ready.
BLBLBL
Elizabeth Keen had seen some startling and impressive sights in her time, especially since coming into contact with Raymond Reddington and his Blacklist. But the sight of the man himself standing in a darkened doorway slightly dishoveled and idly tapping a Colt 45 1911 against his thigh would be forever burned into her brain. Liz tried to shutter her awed expression as he looked down at her crouched just beyond his door.
Red shifted, swearing to himself. He couldn't have had that much to drink. Unless he was dreaming again or God help him hallucinating. Red's head fell back, his eyes slipping closed as he breathed deep. The unmistakable scent of jasmine, vanilla and something uniquely Lizzie filled the air around him. He was wide awake and she was here. When his eyes returned to hers, Lizzie gave him a tentative smile.
"What the hell are you doing?"
She shrugged holding up a thin piece of crooked metal. "... Picking your lock."
"With a hairpin? Lizzie, really, what did they teach you in school?"
"Apparently not enough," she rejoined getting to her feet. "Now that we've established how unimpressed you are with my petty larceny skills, will you let me in?"
Red let his eyes roam over her face. He should send her on her way. Despite his pleasure at seeing her and the instant calm she brought to his mind, he should call Dembe from wherever he was hiding and send her away. Being around Lizzie made him weak. Made him want to be a better man and Red didn't have time for that. But he had issued an invitation. Granted a drunken, guilt ridden one, but an invitation nonetheless and he was nothing if not polite.
Stepping back, he waved her inside. Closing the door, Red leaned back and watched Lizzie move around his apartment. She always did the same thing whenever she was admitted to one of his safe houses. She found a lamp, dousing the room in muted light. Her eyes swept the place, always appreciating the things she knew by now were his. Honestly what would a Rembrandt be doing hanging in a Dublin walk up?
"That was a dangerous stunt you attempted, Lizzie," he murmured after a while.
Tightening her palm around the empty bottle of wine, Liz finally turned her attention back to him. "I could say the same for you... Giving Garrick the code to the box."
Red lowered his head, regarding her with a sad smile. "I believe I told you once before I would always do whatever is necessary to save your life."
"I don't understand you," she said, fustration clouding her eyes. "I have been in constant danger ever since you came into my life. You throw me into these situations you know I'm not prepared for and then make a big deal out of rescuing me, when I wouldn't have even been in danger if I wasn't with you."
There were so many things he could say to that, but he settled on the fact that amused him the most. "Yet here you are," he drawled pushing away from the door. He closed in on her, stopping just short of breathing her air. "Why are you here, Lizzie?"
She looked at him, secretly glad he was being his usual brash and infuriating self. She much preferred it to the state she expected to find him in, but she knew better than to tell him everything at once. "To make sure you get back to Washington in one piece."
Red let out a full laugh, shaking his head at her. "I'm not going back, Lizzie. At least not yet."
Liz just stared, unable to decide what scared her more the sliver of panic she felt when he said he wasn't going back or her relief when he said "not yet."
"Red, someone went through a lot of trouble, risked a lot of lives to get to you. Let me help you. Don't run from this."
He pushed aside his annoyance at her belief that he would run from anything. "I was abducted from an FBI blacksite. A place that doesn't exist and you expect me to entrust my well being to the very idiots that brought me there? I'm not running, Lizzie, I respectfully decline."
His attitude annoyed her. "You know this isn't simple. Someone betrayed you and you have no idea who or how deep it goes. You don't know who you're up against, not really."
His jaw clenched. Since when did he become to inept in her eyes. "Just what do you think I've been doing the past month_"
"Besides drunk dialing me?"
She watched as her cheapshot hit home, dampening the mix pride and amusment their encounters always seemed to bring him. Within 30 seconds of her careless remark tumbling into the air between them, Red shut down. She stepped toward him, laying her hand on his chest, shuttering at the tension vibrating from his body.
"I'm sorry, Red, I shouldn't have joked about that. I... I know what it took for you to reach out to me. To trust that I wouldn't betray you too. But you didn't hear what I said, Red. I asked you to let me help you. Not the FBI. Me, Red. That's why I'm here... because you're here and I need to know you're safe."
Red's eyes slipped closed at her words. He hadn't expected them.
Luli.
Jumping from place to place.
The loneliness.
Missing her.
Everything crashed down on him at once and for the first time in decades he felt as if he didn't have to hide it. He looked down at her. Her open look of sincerity and concern drawing him closer. Placing his hand over hers where it rested on his chest, Red leaned forward until his forehead touched hers. There was barely space between them.
"Come to stay a while, Lizzie?" His whispered question, his voice pitched low, drew her closer.
"As long as you need me."
I'll always need you jumped from his heart to his tounge, but he held back. He was loosing focus again. Allowing her to stay here was dangerous, but Red had lost that battle when he found her on his door step. Still he needed to put distance between them.
"Well, since we have that settled," he pronounced turning toward the bedroom. "I'm going to turn in. You're more than welcome to one half of the bed. If not," he through a wicked smirk over his shoulder, "the tiles on the bathroom floor are heated."
