# Just A Spell P2 #
I'm thinking this will be a double/triple (maybe I'll finish it in one go) update, because I just have nothing better to do than write...and write...and write...
Oh! If you want to chat, message me on Google Hangouts! I'm seriously bored, and my profile's on the link in my account!
### ####
"So what do we do now, bastard?"
Lovino yawned and leaned back on the bed, closing his eyes as he thought of a reply to Chiara's question. They'd gone to the Italian's room to leave the British pair some time to fix this shit. He was rather tired of this whole situation, and found himself wondering if he could just go home and leave it up to Arthur. Maybe make a nice big helping of pasta- his tomato plants should have grown quite nicely by now. He was half-tempted to simply kidnap the girl, but then technically he would be kidnapping himself and that sort of bullshit was just far too confusing.
One eye half-opened and turned its' attention to Chiara, who was sitting on an office chair opposite him, her arms folded. She looked upset, but then again, who wouldn't in this situation? She'd been pulled from whatever she was doing to get stuck in an alternate dimension, and even if it wasn't the 2p! Reality it was probably still pretty shitty. His attention slid from her face down to her chest, and he felt the tiniest smirk cross his face. Damn, he made a pretty hot chick.
"Stop staring at my boobs."
"...technically they're my boobs too."
Chiara rolled her eyes. "No, they're not."
"Bitch."
"Bastard."
"Slut."
"Dickwad."
"You realise we're insulting ourselves as well as each other...right...?"
The two Italians glared at each other, and then smirked a little. "Truce?"
"Si, why not."
### ####
"Here's your tea, Alice."
"Thank you, Arthur."
He placed the two teacups on the smooth surface of the coffee table in front of the woman and took a moment to study the girl. Where had that maid outfit come from? Not that he had any problem with it, it was just...odd. Alice finally closed the book, and Arthur noted that the book was a study of mythology that he had bought but had never had the time to read. Had Alice been in the same situation? He sat down in the armchair across from her, letting out a sigh as he rested back in the soft fabric. Such comfy armchairs should be a crime.
Alice raised the porcelain cup to her lips and took a sip, acid green eyes closing for a moment as she savoured the flavour, and then nodded approvingly. Arthur felt a frown cross his face as he realised there was no way he could have gotten the tea wrong, if they were the same person. Why was he even being doubted? It was preposterous, to use a nice word, but he supposed suspicion was a trait that could save your life.
"So..." He began.
"So," came the bemused reply.
### ####
"So are you and Eyebrowgeddon fucking?"
"...uh...si."
"Knew it. For how long?"
"...a while."
"Knew it. Are you two...?"
She broke off, her expression changing to something unreadable but still quite amused. Lovino waited, expecting another intrusive question about his relationship. Of course he would want to talk about this, of course she would want to talk about this.
"Are we what?"
"Are you two...official?"
"Alfred- America, found out a few weeks ago, so...si, everyone knows about it. Although the frog bastard already knew before that because I threatened to chop his dick off and sell it to the mafia."
"Really."
The matter-of-fact tone of voice used by Chiara had Lovino bristling slightly. He sent her a small glare, which was ignored with a faintly amused curl of the woman's lips. How were they going to put up with each other for a whole fucking week if she was going to be like this?! Speaking of, why was she asking these questions when she was him in another dimension? Wasn't it the same over there?
"How about you, then?"
"Sometimes. It's an...on-and-off thing. Hard to tell."
"What?"
"Our relationship's different from yours, bastard."
"How?"
Chiara sighed, her face going slightly red as she picked at her fingernails. Lovino could almost see the dark cloud of embarrassment and irritation over her head, and raised an eyebrow inquiringly. This was interesting. It was like he could watch the sitcom of his life that wasn't his life...or something like that. Except...it almost sounded like there were differences. Maybe he'd been wrong about the theory that everything was the same over there as it was here, give or take the anatomical differences.
"...it's not like that over there."
"...what?"
"Alice is sleeping with Francois as well! It's an...open relationship. Get it now, bastard?"
"You mean...she sleeps around? What do you do?"
"Nothing! I thought about sleeping with Isabella to see how she liked it, but I didn't want to do that!"
Lovino had no idea who the distressed Italian was talking about now, but he could guess quite easily and he felt his face mirror the disgust in his mind at the situation his female counterpart was in. Isabella sounded like a Spanish name, and he knew Antonio was the first person he'd run to when he had a problem, unfortunately. It was almost ironic that he was the one who was being the relationship counsellor, but he supposed he could handle it for one day.
"So what, she just fucks you and leaves again?"
"Well, ye- Who said she fucked me?"
"You can't lie to me, remember?"
"Does that mean you...you..."
Lovino raised his eyebrow yet again as Chiara's face went red as she imagined something that was likely very graphic and something similar to the porn he had stolen from Kiku that one time before he had a relationship. He smirked past his faint embarrassment at hers. He wondered if here imagination was as graphic as what the real thing was, and suppressed a laugh at the hilarity of the situation by rolling his eyes at her.
"Back on subject, si?"
"Er...si."
"So...you don't want her to just fuck you and leave?"
"No! I mean- I-"
"Alright. Well, it's not like you can just tell her, so..."
"Hmpf."
"Maybe...we should use the method that always works for me?"
Chiara watched her male counterpart as he stood, yawned again, and stumbled over to a set of drawers. He rummaged through them for a while, muttering about how all houses had to be great fucking mansions except for his own, and she couldn't help but agree in her head. Lovino finally pulled out a large bottle of wine and waved it at her with a dark smile. She felt herself mirror the expression as she saw the expensive brand of wine.
"Let's get some glasses, then, bastard."
### ####
"I think that's all the research we can do today, to be honest," Arthur said with a resigned sigh as he put yet another book back on the shelf. Alice sighed as well as she closed the one in her hands, looking back at him. She wondered for a moment what was with her male form's eyebrows, but decided not to ask. It was better if she didn't know, she decided finally.
"Should we go and check on our Italians?"
"I suppose. Knowing them, they've probably trashed the kitchen."
Arthur snorted, and they made their way out of the basement. They stopped in the corridor, and Alice frowned, looking puzzled. Arthur groaned and began banging his head on the doorframe. As amusing as it was, Alice felt she had to intervene on the self-harming at the moment to ask him an important question.
"Do you normally have tomato sauce on your walls?"
