Chapter 6

A/N Geez...this chapter...

It took a least a couple more days for Benson to call Mordecai to his office but when he did Mordecai was already head over heals for his boss. And he hated it.

As he ascended the stairs to what seemed like hell, his guy side starting to take him over and he paused for a moment, his hand on the rail. Mordecai swallowed and he frowned. "I don't like Benson..." he muttered under his breath.

"Morgan?" He looked up and Benson was staring at him. "You ok?"

Mordecai locked eyes with his boss and he saw Benson and him kiss which made him want to vomit. His eyes go wide and he took a few deep breaths before closing his eyes and nodding his head. "Yeah...yeah I'm fine."

Benson continued up to his office, slightly concerned, and Mordecai had no choice but to follow, his hormones going absolutely crazy and his mind screaming at him to turn and run but when they got to the door, Mordecai felt like dying.

Benson stepped in and was followed by the blue jay and the gumball machine shut the door. He took a few more steps towards his desk but Mordecai stood still, his gut churning and his hands starting to sweat. He knew what was coming and he just wanted to break down in tears. His mind was a mess and he could't think straight with the world screaming at him.

When his boss leaned against the desk, digging his fingers into the wood and drawing a deep breath in, Mordecais' heart leapt. He stared at Benson with sick in his throat and lust in his eyes. His eyes closed tight. Bensons eyebrows furrowed.

"Morgan?"

As soon as Mordecais' eyes opened, he was hit with a horrid image of himself and his boss and he shook his head, feeling his heart in his ears.

Benson swallowed. "Are you sure you're alright?" Mordecai looked at him but the gumball machine started to the window. "I can let some fresh air in if-"

"No!"

Benson stopped and stared and Mordecai went bright red.

"I-I mean...it's fine Benson. Just-just..." He swallowed hard and sucked in a breath and forced himself to meet the dark eyes that have haunted his thoughts since he eavesdropped on his and Skips' conversation. "Why did you call me in here?" His voice was rushed and he paused, shutting his mouth and diverting his eyes to the carpet.

Benson turned slowly back and walked back to the desk but he didn't look at the blue jay. "I-I wanted to talk to you...about something...important." He said hesitantly.

"A-" Mordecai swallowed again and forced his eyes up. "And what would that be?"

"I...um...well, you've been working here for a while Morgan and I..."

Why was it so hard for him to spit it out? Mordecai thought. I already know anyway.

"I, um..." His boss' face flushed and his mouth was choking out words. "I...I know I've been acting a bit different towards you these past few days and it's because..." But no matter how hard he tried, Benson couldn't muster up the nerves to say it.

Mordecai felt sorrow envelope him. He hated seeing Benson like this and he hated himself for telling Skip and eavesdropping and loving him at the same time. He wanted to punch himself and at the same time, hold Benson in a tight embrace, soothing him and stabbing himself a trillion times in the foot.

He tried to find Bensons eyes but the gumball machine was at the carpet again. Mordecai felt a blush rise on his cheeks when his boss finally met his gaze and Benson clasped and unclasped his hands as he continued to avoid his eyes.

"I...I-" Benson went quiet. "I...I like you Morgan." His voice was strong with confidence and he finally looked Mordecai straight in the eye, the blush going down. "Maybe-maybe even love you."

Mordecai felt himself die a little inside. His mind was numb and tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. As he stared at his boss, watching the small smile appear, he realized he was scared. Scared of making his heart snap in two.

Maybe Mordecai didn't love him.

But Morgan did.

"I realize this is a lot to take in so I'll give you a couple days to think about this." That stupid smile was still there and Mordecai wanted to slap it off his face. He was seeing white noise and his brain wasn't giving him anything to focus on. Except for the words Benson'd said aloud.

Mordecai turned around and his feet took him to the door. He didn't even realize he'd reached it till his hand touched gold and he started to twist it but small footsteps made him stop.

"Morgan..."

He didn't turn but when a hand went on his arm, he did then and Benson's expression went from soft to hard as his eyes searched his face; the seemingly distraught look on his face and the dark rings around his eyes that showed his state of mind: everywhere.

Mordecai felt something take him over and he let his body relax. "Yeah..."

"I..." Soft again.

Mordecai's mind had shut down and all he felt course through his veins was love.

"I love you..."

Benson closed his eyes and Mordecai's lips pressed against his. He stepped away from the door and wrapped his arms around his waist, Bensons arms going around his neck as he went on tip-toe to reach. Mordecai slowly pulls back and his eyes never leave Bensons. Until it hit.

Mordecai let go of his boss and stared at him, his eyes horrified.

"Morgan?" Benson touched his hand but Mordecai jerks back.

"No..." He whisperrd and he shook his head, his voice soft. "No, no, no, no..." Mordecai drew a breath. "Benson..." And tears began to pool his eyes. "I can't...I'm sorry." He shook his head again, turned and opened the door, Benson watching him leave with his heart snapped in two.

The door shut and Mordecai let his back slide against the wood. As soon as he landed on the floor, hot tears started to roll down his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Benson...but I don't love you like Morgan does..."

Mordecai broke down in tears right outside Bensons office. And he stayed there for the next half hour till Pops came upstairs and when he saw the blue jay, he knelt down and hugged him tight, consoling the torn avian.

"Why whatever's the matter Morgan?"

Mordecai bit his lip when he felt himself choke up. "I...I just..."

Pops drew back to look him over and when he saw Mordecai's red eyes and dark rings around them, his expression softened and he stood.

"Hush now. I shall fix you a cup of hot coca to sooth yourself."

Mordecai smiled at Pops. "Thanks Pops." He whispered as he stood. Pops smiled and started down the stairs. Mordecai followed after him but he stopped and when the lollipop man wasn't looking, he stole a look at Bensons door. A small sob escaped him and Mordecai waited for it to swing open but it never did. With a broken heart, the blue jay continued down the stairs, leaving Benson to pick up the pieces.