Just then, Uncle Phil came running down the stairs with a shotgun. "What in the name of God is going on down there?" Then he saw the intruder. Even Uncle Phil, who was a large black man himself, was taken aback by the sheer size of this other black guy. The intruder raised his wand at the same time Uncle Phil fired his shotgun. The children thought that the newcomer would surely die, but he was able to quickly bring the wand up to his face and start rapping. The buckshot stopped in mid-air and fell to the ground. He continued to rap, and Uncle Phil's shotgun was pulled from his hand. The intruder kept rapping violently into his wand, and as he did so, the shotgun floated away from Uncle Phil and turned around so it was pointed back at him. Uncle Phil watched at the intruder held out his wand, and after a moment of silence, dropped it onto the ground. The shotgun fired, blowing Uncle Phil's ribcage out of his body.

"Come on Harry, let's go," the intruder said, as he picked up his wand. Harry stood up from the group of children and followed the man out of the house. As they exited to the outside, Harry heard his Aunt Jemima stand up and grab the fallen shotgun. The man didn't seem to notice or care about this.

"I tolds you I's would kill you if I didn't get no welfare check, Harry Potter!" Aunt Jemima yelled. She came running through the door with the weapon, firing it blindly. The man turned around and rapped a single phrase into his wand. Aunt Jemima began to rapidly inflate. She expanded to the size of globe, if a globe was actually 8 feet in diameter. She was lifted off the ground and started floating towards the house, all while still inflating. She crashed through the door into the living room. She expanded until she could expand no more, and then exploded into a torrent of blood and organs. The children were all doused entirely in red. They stood there for a while, and then shouted "Oooooooohhhhhhhh!" excitedly.

The man opened the door to his Hummer limousine. "My name is Hagrid, by the way," he started, but saw that Harry was busy solving his Rubik's cube.