Thanks for all the early reviews, and Othello, thanks for the writing advice. I'll put it to good use.

I don't own Pokemon (obviously).


"Man, it's so good to see you!" Ash said joyfully, hugging his longtime friend. "How have you been?"

"I'm great, but a bit bored. You know, I'm the elite Coordinator now, winning Contests is just too easy for me," May said, returning the hug. "So what's next, partner? Anything interesting?"

"Actually, yes," Ash replied. "We're investigating an illegal berry deal."

"Oh, I've heard of those," May said with a frown. "I know they're bad, but I never really understood why they cause so much trouble."

"I can answer that," Cole Hayden said.

"Gah! How'd you get here?" Ash yelped.

Cole raised an eyebrow. "Um, I opened the door and walked over here...?"

"No, what I mean is why are you here?" Ash said, recovering from his verbal slip.

"I caught word that ya'll were investigating some illegal berries. As a berry farmer, I want to help." Turning to May, he said in a dark tone, "Now, you're a Coordinator, right?"

May nodded.

"Well, then you should how important Pokeblock and Poffins are, right?"

"Of course! They help increase the grace and beauty of your Pokemon," May said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"In that case, you should know that berries to make those can be a bit pricey," Cole said. "Berry farmers like me, we made some pretty good money back before a bunch of people were fed up with having to pay lots of money for high quality berries. So then we got all these synthetic, artificial berries flooding the market, which drives honest farmers like me out of business."

May gasped. "That's awful!"

Cole nodded gravely. "And that's not all. Whoever's making these crappy berries is getting lazy. Pokemon who eat treats from illegal berries are getting awfully sick. Some ended up in the PokeCenter for several months!"

"No wonder we've been cracking down on these illegal berry dealers," May said, shaking her head with sadness.

A nearby potted plant rustled.

May groaned. "Oh come on! Drew, I know you're there!"

And sure enough, our (least) favorite green-haired Coordinator stood up and flashed his signature grin. "Well, looks like you spotted me."

Ash arched an eyebrow, hiding his anger. "Is Drew stalking you now?"

"Yep," May said, rolling her eyes.

"Why, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, Drew," Cole said, putting as much contempt as possible into the last word.

"Oh, hello, Father," Drew spat back with equal contempt.

"I'll be leaving. Call me if you need my help with anything," Cole said, obviously looking for an excuse to leave.

"Good. Go back to your stinking berry farm," Drew snapped.

Ash and May just stood by as spectators to the intense family feud, taking note of the father and son's hatred for each other.

"So May," Drew said once Cole was gone, "how about you and me go for a-"

"Sky Uppercut, Blaziken," May said in a bored tone, releasing her kung fu fire chicken from its Pokeball. Blaziken instantly delivered a wicked uppercut to Drew, sending him crashing into the ceiling and through the roof.

...

...

...

"You've done several times before, haven't you?" Ash said, staring at the hole in the ceiling.

"You have no idea," May said.


"So apparently the guy who was buying the illegal berries was a man named Jonathan Elm. Ever heard of him?" Ash asked.

"Actually, yes," May replied. "He's often regarded as the worst Coordinator of our time. He hasn't won a single Contest, even practice ones with, like, 5 and 6 year olds"

"Which would explain why he's buying illegal berries, since he obviously doesn't have much money to make Poffins and whatnot. Says here he lives in the poorer parts of Petalburg and works as a substitute teacher at an elementary school," Ash said, gesturing towards Jonathan's report.

"Then what are we waiting for?" May asked, rising from her seat. "Let's go pay this guy a little visit."

Nodding in agreement, Ash rose to join her and the two former traveling companions set off.


Elm residence. 10:25 AM

Jonathan was about to feed his precious Slugma a delicious, illegal Poffin when his phone unexpectedly rang.

"Hello?" he said, carefully avoiding his Slugma's lava-like skin.

"They're onto us, Elm," a harsh voice hissed from the receiver. "You know what to do. They'll be at your place any minute now."

Jonathan hesitated for a moment. Then he said, "You got it."


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