"Well what the fuck!" Hagrid shouted as he saw that his Hummer limousine had been stripped for parts. Nothing but the car's skeleton remained, which was suspended on 4 concrete blocks.
"I thought that thing drove away," Harry examined. Hagrid looked at him confusedly for a couple seconds, and then horrified realization swept across his face.
"Oh hell no, Norbert!" Hagrid ran up to the side of car. Inside the driver's window he saw his pet dragon, with 12 caps popped directly in its ass. "'Twas the best getaway driver I ever had." He sat down and cried. Harry stood there silently. Just being in the hood was transforming him into a cold, hard motherfucker. All he could think about was which store he was going to have to rob in order to get a new Rubik's cube.
Harry was getting annoyed by Hagrid's crying, he decided to ask him something, anything, to make him stop. "Hey, ah, Hagrid, tell me about this school we goin' to."
Hagrid wiped some tears from his eyes and stood up. "Well just look at yourself and your skin and all that. You have what they call 'black magic'. Like me. Like your father."
Harry stepped closer to him and looked him straight in the eyes. "What do you know about my father?" Hagrid glanced away nervously, but as he did so, he noticed several shadowy figures standing behind Harry.
"Yo man, this is Death Eaters turf. Buy some crack or get the fuck out. Else we'll 187 you, just like we did to that sweet, sweet car of yours."
Hagrid's face went from nervous to enraged. "You killed my Norbert!" he hollered. The one who spoke before, whose neck tattoo identified him as 'Draco' looked amused. Hagrid drew a giant bowie knife from the lining of his shorts and charged the gang. Draco smirked. He and his gang drew their Tec 9s, the most gangster weapon ever made, and blew the giant black man straight to hell.
Draco stepped over Hagrid's corpse and looked at Harry. "Now what are we going to do with you?"
But Harry was too busy not giving a fuck to hear him.
