This is my first Castle fic. I've been writing fan fic for a few years now (mostly Stargate Sg1). I just recently discovered Castle and fell in love with the characters - especially Rick Castle. For those of you who don't know me, I can tell you that my fics go from fluff to whump, depending on my mood.

A quick fact - my husband went to the same high school as Nathan Fillion (not at the same time unfortunately). Hope you enjoy and please review.

He was worried. He wasn't quite sure what was wrong, but he knew there was something. He'd thought about calling, but he was pretty sure he'd get the usual 'everything's fine Castle' from her. No, he had to see her, to see for himself what it was. He began to throw his few clothes into his suitcase, did a last-minute check of the house and then locked up and headed to his car. If he didn't get stuck in traffic he should make it home in a couple of hours. With a concerned frown he put the key in the ignition and was soon on the road.

He'd only been down in the Hamptons for a couple of days, chased there by his loving fiancée and his not so loving ex-wife/publisher. He had chapters due – or rather over due for his latest Nikki Heat novel, and with the wedding coming up in only a few short weeks he had to get working on it. The problem had been that he'd been much too distracted back in Manhattan. All the wedding planning, plus the never-seeming-to-end murders, kept him from concentrating on his work – at least on his paid work.

"Oh, who are you kidding", he muttered to himself. The real reason – the real distraction, was Beckett – Kate Beckett, the woman he loved, the woman he was going to marry, the woman who was the center of his world. He'd discovered that it was hard to write Nikki when he was living with her.

In the end it was Kate herself who had forced him to head to his house by the water. "Just go Castle! You need to get those chapters done because, believe me, I do not want Gina calling us on our honeymoon."

Since he hadn't wanted that either – the definition of hell had to be having your ex-wife harass you while on your honeymoon with your new wife – he'd agreed. Of course he'd moaned and groaned, whined and whimpered, and had even resorted to begging to keep from going, but in the end he'd known it was the right thing to do, the only thing to do if he wanted to get the damn chapters written.

"No intriguing murders while I'm gone Beckett", he instructed her firmly, the twinkle well-disguised. "And don't go snooping through my stuff!" He narrowed his eyes at her and she'd laughed, knowing darn well he was kidding. In actual fact he had made it abundantly clear that she was welcome to all of his stuff. He had nothing to hide from her, he'd told her, not any longer. If anything he had trouble getting her to accept that what was his was now hers.

Kate Beckett didn't want it to look as if she was with Richard Castle because of his money or his fame – something which was both unusual and incredibly touching to him. In reality he had never, ever suspected her of that. She was a private person, unconcerned about fame and one not particularly interested in money or possessions.

Except shoes.

He'd grinned at that thought, knowing she found it almost impossible to resist the allure of a good heel. He thought back to her birthday, when he'd presented her with a Manolo Blahnick credit card. He had seen the intense struggle she'd had to accept it – but in the end she'd given him a passionate kiss, grinned and put it in her wallet. He'd definitely found her weak spot and he planned on exploiting that for all it was worth.

His attention returned to his fiancée when she spoke, although the thought of Kate in those stilettos, and little else, remained with him.

"Well, since Martha is gone and Alexis is staying with friends for a couple of weeks, I'll have free run of your place", she informed him. She moved closer to him and gently ran her hands down the front of his shirt. "What if I want to go through your drawers?" Since her hand had moved down – strategically down – at that point, he was pretty sure she didn't mean his dresser drawers.

He yelped, softly, and then grinned and moved closer, pressing himself up against her. "You can go through my drawers anytime my dear! Remember, what's mine is definitely yours."

Of course that had led to a long non-discussion – after which they'd gotten something to eat and had spent the rest of the evening snuggled up, watching movies. He got up the next morning to make her breakfast and coffee and then kissed her as she headed out the door for work. He couldn't help the smirk – they had become so domestic, and he loved it.

"Now be good and write Castle", she'd told him. "No murders, no fan-girls and no Xbox! WRITE."

"Okay, okay", he'd agreed, grabbing her gently and pulling her towards him once more. "I'll miss you Detective Fan-girl of mine."

"I'll miss you too, Partner", she leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss. "But it will only be for a few days and then -" her voice throbbed, sounding sultry with hidden meaning.

"And then?" he'd asked, his imagination running instantly to all sorts of wonderful scenarios for when he returned. God – how was he going to do without her for three whole days?

"And then", she moved her lips until they were gently tickling his cheek when she talked, "we'll write out all the table cards, get the last minute fittings for my dress and your tux, confirm the music choices -"

"Okay, okay", he groaned. "I'm not really going to be able to spend fun time with you until after the wedding, am I?"

She grinned and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Just think of the anticipation! And after the wedding we'll have two glorious weeks, in our own tropical paradise with no preparations, no writing, no -"

"Pesky friends, relatives or murderers?"

"Right", she laughed and pulled away. "Now I've got to go and so do you. Drive safely Rick, and call me when you get in."

So, he thought as the car headed back towards Manhattan, things had been fine when he'd left. She'd been happy, carefree – happier than he'd ever seen her. So what had changed? When he spoke to her last evening she'd sounded brittle. He could tell she was trying hard to sound as if things were fine – she said all the right things – but behind the front there was something serious, something wrong. And he was afraid.

It had taken them four years to finally admit to themselves and to each other that they were meant to be. Well, technically it had taken Beckett that long. He'd known it long before that, but had had to wait for her. Thank God he was a patient man or else he'd have given up years ago. As it was, he'd waited and in the end had received the greatest gift – along with Alexis – of his life. He hated being maudlin, but it was true that she was the love of his life, his soul mate, his 'one and done'. She made him a better man, a better human being. With her he wanted to be so much more than Richard Castle, mystery writer. He wanted to be someone who made a difference – who could, in a small way, change the world.

Kate was his light, his beacon, his everything. But there was a small corner of his heart – a small, dark corner - that he barely acknowledged and never spoke about. In that corner was doubt – doubt that Kate could love someone like him as much as he loved her, doubt that she was better for knowing him, or that he was her everything.

He knew if he told her this she'd deny it, absolutely and completely. She would probably reach out and slug him! He also admitted that on most days he didn't see that corner. He trusted her – he did – but still there was a part of him that was waiting for the other shoe to drop, for her to wake up and realize she could do so much better than a man who hadn't really done much good in his life. Except Alexis – always Alexis – without a doubt his best creation.

His mind flipped back to Beckett and what could possibly be wrong. He didn't think that she had simply woken up yesterday morning and started to have doubts about marrying him. She'd seemed much too secure and happy for that to have happened on its own. Nope – something must have occurred and he had to find out what it was.

He fumbled for his cell phone, almost causing him to side-swipe another car. The driver blasted him with her horn, and all he could do was wave and mouth 'sorry' to her. In a moment he'd retrieved the phone and hit speed dial. He had to find out what the hell was going on.

"Esposito", the voice answered.

"Espo! Hi, it's -"

"Castle. Yeah I recognize your voice. What can I do you for?"

"Uh – I'm just wondering – how's everything going?" He grimaced – could he be any more lame?

"How's things going?" Esposito asked, the laughter clear in his voice. "You missin' us or something Bro?"

"Yeah – kind of. I guess I'm not much in the mood for writing."

"Well you'd better start!" his friend said forcibly. "You've got a wedding coming up in a few weeks – and more importantly, you have a bachelor party to look forward to. If ya don't get those chapters written that ex-wife o' yours'll have your balls for breakfast!"

"Yeah", Castle groaned. "I know. I did get almost two chapters written but just wanted to check to see if – you know – things were okay."

There was a short silence and then a more serious sounding Esposito replied. "Is something wrong Castle? You and Beckett didn't have a fight did you?"

"What? No – no of course not. Everything's fine." He stopped and the silence on the other end made him grimace. "Hell. It's just – I talked to Kate and she sounded – I don't know – worried or upset or something. I just wanted to see if something had happened at work."

"Nah, not that I know", the detective told him. "I mean, she did seem a bit quiet today, but she didn't seem upset. Probably just wedding nerves."

"Yeah", he answered, sounding, even to his own ears, morose. "That's probably it. Just – nerves."

"Hey Bro – you're not sittin' there thinkin' she's having second thoughts or something, are you? Cause I can assure you she's not. Look Castle – sometimes I've given you a hard time, but I know you're the right one for her. She's – better with you – and I mean that in every way. She loves you. I'm sure she's just a bit overwhelmed. I mean, marrying you has to be overwhelming!"

Rick laughed – appreciating what Espo was trying to do. In fact it did help to hear what the other man thought. Still, he knew he wasn't wrong and something was going on. He let out a quiet breath. "Thanks", he said. "I'm probably just feeling those nerves too."

"Even on your third? I'd have thought you'd be used to this by now!"

"Hey – it may be my third", he'd quipped, "but it's my first to Beckett!"

"Yeah, that'd make any man nervous. Look, I'll keep an eye on her for you, okay? If there's something really wrong I'll let you know."

"Thanks Esposito – I owe you."

"Yup. Knick's tickets or the use of the Ferrari are both great ways of paying me back."

He laughed again. "You've got it!"

After he hung up the phone he realized he did feel better, although he was still heading home and he was still going to get to the bottom of this.