Author's note: Hey guys I know it has taken me FOREVER to update this but Uni has been hectic. Well here is the new update I hope you like it. Keep reviewing, I love all of you.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
We'd long ago arrived home, none of us had moved from the lounge room. Everyone was either crying or staring blankly into space; Mike looked pale and was fighting to keep tears back. The fact we'd lost someone else had hit us all harder than we imagined. Rachel and Finn sat closely huddled together, I wanted to grab her and talk what had happened while we were hiding beneath the car, but I knew it wasn't the time
Why didn't Tina just stay where she was originally hiding? She should have known to stay where she was. I just shook my head, I wish I didn't have a front row seat because when we all got home I had to tell everyone what happened. I couldn't hold my tears back and my voice kept cracking and I told them and that made them all cry harder. It was a brutal cycle of my voice breaking to someone sobbing, making me cry and then everyone else cry. After I had finished no one said anything and just sat there and that's where we have been ever since.
I couldn't keep sitting here, I needed to do something to get my mind off the entire ordeal, so I got off the couch and went into the kitchen. I looked around for a few minutes before I found the box of food we found in the wreckage of cars. I lifted the box onto the counter and went through what we had found. There was tinned fruit, soup, tinned spaghetti and baked beans. It was likely none of us had eaten since before we had ventured out, so I decided to take out some of the food for everyone. I doubt they will want to eat anything but I thought they should. I got a tin for everyone and put it on a tray I found in one of the cupboards.
"Do you need help?" a sudden voice asks from behind me, making me jump.
I turned around to see a red eyed Kurt standing in the doorway. I walk straight over to him and wrap my arms around him and pull him in for a hug as he instantly hugs me back.
"I would love some Kurt," I tell him giving him a slight smile.
He nodded and went and got bottles of water out of another cupboard and put them in a basket to carry them out.
"How are you holding up?" he asks me, "You know after seeing it all?"
"Yeah, you know, I'm… hanging in there," I told him with a small sad shrug.
"I know what you mean," he told me, "I just couldn't imagine seeing it, I couldn't imagine seeing any of you being ripped to shreds and being right there, right in front of you and not being able to do anything."
"Being that close is something I wish I could wipe from my memory Kurt," I tell him getting some spoons and forks out of the drawer.
"What about Rachel?" he asked.
"I don't know, I guess you would have to ask her," I say a bit confused, "but I'm pretty confident that she is pretty torn up about it all. It was pretty horrific."
"She didn't tell you?" he asked, a flash of confusion crossing his features.
"No she didn't," I found it odd that she hadn't told me too, but I hadn't voiced anything of it "come to think of it Kurt, she has been a bit distant since it happened."
"Really? That's odd," he told me, "you two have been inseparable since we found her."
I thought about it for a moment and it became more strange how distant she had become since the incident. It gave me a sinking feeling in my gut. A feeling I haven't had since I was back in high school getting mixed up with all the boys. Wow my life seemed so complicated when I was there. However now that I look back it was the simplest time of my life and I would give anything to just go back to when all I had to worry about was being popular and becoming Prom Queen. Now worry is a daily thing for all of us. Worrying when we will run out of food, of water. Worrying whether the infected will find us, corner us, get us. And now I'm worrying about why Rachel is acting strange with me. Now THAT is something I would have worried about in high school, not something that should be thought about now that the worlds ending. Never thought I'd see the day that Rachel Berry not talking to me was the thing that worried me the most.
I looked over at him and smiled, "More than just inseparable."
He gave me a weird look but didn't say what he was thinking, instead he told me, "Try talking to her about it. She might just be having trouble processing it all. We all know what it's like to lose someone we love, but we don't know what she has been through, who she was with or who she may have lost, so it may just be hitting her harder than it is hitting us."
"She was with Harmony, Jesse and Sebastian," I reluctantly tell him, "she told me this morning and it didn't come to mind until now."
The look on his face was pure shock. About the look I would get if one of the infected had entered the room. "Are you serious?" he finally managed to splutter out.
I nod at him not knowing what else to say. Kurt didn't like Sebastian; none of us really did, even after what he did for Karofsky. Jesse was no better after what he did to Rachel.
"How? How did you find this out?" he asked with wide eyes and shaking his head, "were they there when you found Rachel?"
"No they weren't there when we found Rachel. I don't know where they were but they sure as hell weren't with Rachel," I explain to him, "When we were at the car pileup she was midway through telling me, the horde cut the rest of it off. Haven't been able to get her alone since..."
"Oh shit, that is huge Quinn," he told me.
"I know I was speechless too when she told me. I would have loved to have found out more but we have no time at all for that." I told him trying to figure out the emotions that were crossing his face.
There was a long pause and I thought his head might explode.
"Are you going to ask her to explain more?" he asked finally.
"I'll try I guess but I don't think now is a particularly good time for that."
He sighed, "Very true"
I looked over and just shrugged, I watched him pick up the water and I followed him after picking up the food and headed back out into the lounge room not speaking another word about it. Kurt passed out the water and I gave everyone a can of food and either a knife or a spoon. They didn't seem to care that they had food or water and just held them.
"Snap out of it," Kurt suddenly says beside me making me jump, "yes we lost Tina, but that doesn't give you all the excuse to stop eating and make yourselves sick, I swear we go through this every time."
Everyone looked at him startled and then turned to the food in their hands and opened them. I don't think they realised how hungry they were because once they started eating then didn't stop and each of them finished their bottle of water too, including Mike, who was still not talking or looking at anyone. I felt so bad for him, the heartbreak was written all over his face and didn't join in when the others began to make conversation. I caught Rachel's eye and smiled but she quickly turned away and started up a conversation with Santana. Odd… she usually smiles back; I wonder why she turned away this time? I tried to get her attention again but she didn't even look my way.
For the rest of the afternoon she did not come stand or sit by me, talk to me or even look at me. This confused me. She was acting very odd and I was the only one that noticed because no one else knew what was going on, except Kurt but he was wrapped up in his own thing with Blaine and didn't pay much attention to me or Rachel except for the occasional sympathetic look over.
When I saw Rachel get up off the couch and head upstairs I knew this was my chance to find out what was going on. I waited until she had reached the second floor before I followed her up the stairs and joined her. When she heard me she turned around and looked at me and I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her to give her a hug. She gave me a light squeeze back then turned away and stepped out of my arms. I gave her a confused look.
"Rachel?" I asked.
"Quinn, don't," she told me turning away.
"Don't what?" I grab her arm turning her around so she would look at me.
"Please Quinn," she almost begged.
I had absolutely no clue what was happening here.
"Please what?" I ask, "Don't what?
"Quinn please don't make this difficult," she said looking me straight in the eye.
"Rachel. Please tell me what you are talking about, because you are making no sense and I can't follow," I told her placing my hands on her shoulders.
"I don't know what to say," she replied stepping out of my arms again.
I threw my hands up in frustration, "then say anything just so I know what we are talking about."
"I shouldn't have kissed you in the first place Quinn," she said not looking into my eyes, "it was wrong of me."
"Wrong? Why?"
"Because… I'm… I'm back with Finn,"
I couldn't work out what my emotions were doing and my face was probably showing that because I could feel it changing as I was trying to process what she just said.
"Back, with Finn?" I repeated her, slowly, uttering every syllable as if she hadn't actually said it.
She nodded and looked down.
"And when did this happen?"
"Last night," she told me.
"Last night?" the volume of my voice increasing an octave, "Before or after you came into my room and decided to snuggle right up close to me?"
I could feel the tears coming, I was so angry and upset with what she was telling me.
"I'm so sorry Quinn," she said finally coming closer to me, but it was me not wanting her this time.
I put my hand out and stopped her coming closer, "Before or after?"
"Before, but Quinn…" she started before I cut her off.
"Save it. I was an idiot to think that you liked me," I began to turn away.
"Quinn, I love him," she sighed.
"Good for you," I snapped, "maybe next time you like someone you will cling to them nonstop and not lead on someone else."
"Quinn please, just listen to me," She begged the look on her face was pure shock and misery, I think she realised what she did and not only hurt me but probably Finn too but I couldn't care less about him at the moment. I just shook my head and turned away from her and stalking my way back down the stairs, I could hear her calling for me but didn't bother turning around. I didn't need this shit in my life right now, not after having it all through school.
I could hear squabbling as I reached the living room. What now?
I walked around the corner and into the room to find Mike on his feet saying something I couldn't make out and the rest of the group was facing him yelling something back. What were we? A pack of animals? No a pack of animals would get along better. I stood there watching for about thirty seconds to see if they would stop. They didn't. Rachel appeared at my side and without looking at her I walked into the room.
"Hey," I called with no reaction.
I shook my head and cleared my throat and tried again, "HEEEEEYYY!"
They all stopped and looked at me. That sure got their attention.
"What are you trying to do, call the damn undead to us?" I asked sarcastically.
Suddenly they all start shouting at each other again and pointing fingers and swearing. I roll my eyes, what the hell is wrong with these people today?
"WILL YOU SHUT UP!" I scream, "All of you."
"Mike…"Finn started pointing to Mike but I put my finger out.
"No."
"But," he replied.
"No," I cut him off again.
They all seemed to be yelling at Mike so I decided to start with what he had to say.
"Mike?" I ask, "What is going on?"
I should have expected the answer that he was about to give me with all the commotion that it caused but I didn't so I was completely gobsmacked when he told me he wanted to go and try and retrieve what was left of Tina, if there was anything.
"Wait what?" I asked him not knowing what to say.
"I want to bury her or at least something of her, it's the least I can do," his eyes began to fill with tears, "I can't just sit here Quinn, she was my everything and I need to do this for her."
Everyone started yelling again, and I think I managed to work out that no one was going to go with him but weren't going to let him go alone.
"What's the problem?" I yell over everyone.
I got a million answers at once but as soon as I raised my eyebrow everyone shut their mouths. They all looked round at each other and then Sam spoke first.
"He can't go back there alone," he tells me.
Already knowing completely well that no one wanted to go I say, "That's fine someone will go with him," I looked over to Mike as he gave me a thankful look.
"No one is going back there Quinn," Puck told me.
"Why not?" I ask him.
"You were there with us today right?" Santana asked me.
"Yeah I was Santana, but Mike can't go alone and if he wants to go try to collect something, lay to rest what has happened, then someone should be a good friend should go with him," I tell them.
"I agree," Rachel piped in and for a moment I thought she was agreeing with me, "I don't think anyone should go back there."
I rolled my eyes and shook my head, "Fine, if everyone else wants to be a jackass about it, I will go, I saw what happened to her."
Another huge eruption of yells sounded and I just stood there and looked at them until they had finished yelling.
"Would you all just shut up," I continue once I had their attention again, "I've already decided I'm going."
"No Quinn don't be silly," Rachel said touching my arm.
I pulled my arm away from her, "I'm going, let's go Mike."
Everyone started yelling at us yet again but we just walked outside, closing the door behind us, stopping the sound.
"Thanks Quinn," Mike says tearing up again.
I place my hand on his shoulder, "I didn't get the chance to try to save her Mike, so going back, burying anything that's...left of her. It's the least I can do."
"You really don't expect there to be much...do you?" he asked, his face falling again.
I sigh, my voice still shaky as if it were close to tears but I had none left to cry, "I saw it happen Mike, even in the rush to get out of there, all I saw was blood, I didn't really get a great look."
"Well what can we do then?" his eyes dragged around the yard, spotting the black canvas that had covered the jeep, "Reckon we can use that?"
"Nobody will miss it," I slightly joked, grabbing the damn thing.
It was then the door burst open and everyone started running out toward us, all their words being blended into one. There was nothing any of them could say that would change our minds. Mike and I went inside to the kitchen and grabbed a days' worth of food and water just in case we get caught up somewhere. As we packed the jeep everyone was following us around the whole time telling us why we shouldn't go for the umpteenth time, by the end of it I just gave up replying to them and just walked around them and got everything I needed and placed it all in the car.
It wasn't long before we had everything together and we were hopping into the jeep, it was good to get in and close the door and stop some of the squawking. I had just put my seat belt on when Finn opened the door.
"You can't go Quinn, neither of you can," he tells me gesturing toward Mike.
"Finn we are going, it's not going to take long and we will be back just after dark," I say not looking at him.
"Quinn stop," he yelled and reaches over and unclips my seatbelt and pulls me out of the car, "You're being stupid."
I was so not in the mood for this. "Let me go," I say as calmly as I possibly can.
"Not until you realise you're being stupid," he says in his 'friendly' voice.
I look down at his hand around my forearm and then back up at him. "Finn I swear if you…" I began before Rachel cut me off.
"Quinn just listen to him, it's dangerous," she orders me.
"Yeah just listen to me," his grip on my arm getting tighter, "I'm the leader."
I was about to lose it with him. The leader?
"Finn we are not in Glee club anymore, you can't pull that crap here," I say raising my voice, "where were you when everything happened? When Mr Schue and Miss Pillsbury died? Nowhere! You just took off with the rest of them. You are a coward Finn Hudson! So how about you release my arm so I can go help a friend."
"Stop it Quinn, you are just upset," Rachel told me. No shit I was upset, what did she think I was, a fucking robot?
I looked at her with a 'how dare you' expression and then back to Finn who's grip on my arms was making me lose circulation. "Let me go," I say for the last time, my anger at boiling point. The pain in my arm felt like nothing.
"You're being a bitch Quinn, how about you just take a seat and calm down and then we can talk about it some more?" he said pulling me back towards the house.
I was not going to let him keep ordering me around especially when he does nothing for anyone around here. He always got on my nerves but today he was pushing his luck. I was trying to help one of my friends and all he was doing was being an asshole with no balls. He tugged my arm trying to get me to move towards the house, but instead of moving I brought my free arm backwards and when he turned around to look why I was still struggling, I swung it forward and collided my fist with his jaw.
He yelped in pain, releasing his hold on my arm, "Fucking hell Quinn, what was that for?"
"For being a dick," I reply as I say hopping back into the jeep next to Mike to was trying to hold back an inappropriate laugh.
Mike starts the car and slowly begins to roll forward. I kept my head facing the front but I could see everyone's expression out of my peripherals and it was pure shock. It startled me when Mike began to laugh.
I was still pissed off and just looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Nice to see you laughing," I say with a small smile myself.
"That… was… like," he said in between fits of chuckles, "the best thing… I have seen in ages."
"Well he deserved it," I tell Mike, "He was being an ass, you can't just grab someone's arm and do that. And he told me sit down, we aren't in Glee club anymore, and I'm not Blaine."
"I know but I think Finn was getting on everyone's nerves and you just did what no one else has had the guts to do," he told me, trying to be serious again.
"He needs to get down off his imaginary pedestal that he has put himself up on and wake up and see what's really happening," I said to Mike almost like I was defending my actions.
"You don't need to tell me that," he told me placing a hand on my shoulder while he was driving out of the gate, "I knew that already. So does everyone else, you're just the one who decided to voice it."
"I'm definitely going to get in trouble for the punch later though," I sighed.
"Don't worry about that, I think he will be too scared to do anything like that again," He laughed again.
I just nodded. It wasn't Finn I was worried about. It was Rachel. The look of horror on her face was enough to say it all. I'd only seen a glimpse of it as I was entering the car, but it was pure shock at the entire ordeal. I hadn't listened to her, I hadn't listened to her damn boyfriend, and better yet I'd hit the dumb oaf. If she wasn't raging with anger I'd be surprised, I'd be even more surprised if she ever talked to me again. No, I was definitely not looking forward to returning from this trip.
