Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist, it belongs to the redeemed Bruno Heller.

Author's Note: I'm walking on sunshine, whoooooa! I'm walking on sunshine! Oops, okay, I'm a little too happy about the season finale. Actually, I'm freaking overjoyed, over the moon, on cloud nine; I'm freaking out! And now, I present to you the second chapter!


He's taken aback by her request.

Honestly, he always thought that she would be too cowardly to collect, thus freeing him of the possibility of having to deliver.

Well, well, well, it looks like Teresa Lisbon had found her spine tonight.

"Lisbon, I really don't think that this is the time for parlor tricks." He was hoping to make her angry enough to storm off without her desired answers. It was a pretty safe bet to make; after all, he'd been doing it for years.

However, it seemed that his run of good luck had finally met its untimely end.

"Not happening, Jane. I'm not going to let you piss me off just so you can dodge talking about this."

He sighed; it had been worth a shot anyway. "Come on in, Lisbon. We don't need to be airing our dirty laundry for all and sundry to hear. You know, you could teach stubbornness to mules."

"And patience to rocks. You won't slither out of this confrontation." She brushed past him roughly, her irritation made plain in her expression. "I'm not sure I see anything 'dirty' about, Jane. You. Owe. Me. End of story."

Jane made one last effort to rally, "Yes, dear, in a fit of pique, with tensions running high, I did say that I would tell you any three secrets about you. But, what I don't recall is promising any such thing. There were no promises, Lisbon."

Lisbon gave a snort full of derision, "And that's the story of our time together, isn't it, Jane. No promises, not even to me, because you'd just end up breaking them."

He was hurt by her accusation. She really had no idea how much it had taken out of him not to give her promises because he had wanted more than anything to promise her a future. But he knew better than anyone that the future was uncertain, fluid, and that it changed based on thoughtless actions and words.

Before he could defend himself, defend them, she stream-rolled over his unvoiced objections. "It's not like I don't understand why, Jane. I knew why. It was Red John, always Red John. But it has been two years, Jane, and there is no more Red John."

Jane watched her heave a heavy sigh, followed by her shoulders slumping. He wanted to go to her so badly, to take her into his arms, but he knew that at this point, any contact between them would be explosive and might result in her physically damaging him (he hadn't had his nose broken for a few months, and he was hoping to avoid it tonight at all costs).

But clearly, Lisbon wasn't done saying her piece. "I'm getting off topic here, Jane. I'm not here to talk about Red John; I'm not here to talk about promises either. I'm here to talk about secrets because I have a feeling that there are some that need telling."

They eyeballed each other in silence, sizing the other up, looking for weaknesses in defenses, and hoping that when the walls were breached, that they wouldn't crumble.

"What do you propose then, Lisbon?"

A palpable hit, she flinched at his choice of words. But, Lisbon was never one to shy away from a challenge.

"What I'm proposing, Jane, is an equal exchange of information. Three of my secrets for three of yours."

Jane blinked at her, slightly dumbfounded by this turn of events.

"Are you suggesting that you try to read me, Lisbon? I don't think that would go well; you'd probably just embarrass yourself."

Another hit, and he was back on the offensive. His Lisbon did not take kindly to personal criticisms of her acumen.

Jane could see her face reddening with suppressed anger. Time to make the lid fly off the pot, he thought smugly. If this doesn't get her out of here, then nothing else will.

"No offense, my dear, but you're not known for your ability to read people. That's why your department hired me, remember?"

It hurt to do this to her, it really did. But, when faced with the possibility of actually having to let her in, to let her see him…He didn't want her to go to D.C., but he didn't want to have to expose himself to get her to stay.

"Jesus, Jane!"

Here it comes…

"You can be such a condescending ass! You know what, I don't want to read you; I want you to read yourself and just be honest about how you feel for once in your fucking life! If I can't rely on you to do that, why should I even bother staying?"

The lid was off, but she was still here.

She was still here, but now she was crying.

"Shit, Lisbon, I'm sorry." It was Jane's turn to give a heavy sigh.

He nervously ran his fingers through his hair before continuing, "I just wanted to make you leave, Lisbon. I didn't mean it, any of it. You're brilliant, you are, but I can't…I don't think I can do this. There's just too much. I've hidden myself for so long, I don't think I could even begin to…"

Jane trailed off as she began to wipe tears furiously off her cheek.

"You think this is any easier for me, Jane? I've got just as much to lose if our sharing session goes south. In fact, I think I've got more to lose since apparently I'm the only one who invested their feelings, their honesty, and their goddamn loyalty to the other person!"

He felt his own anger rise to the surface at hearing her accusation, "You think I'm not invested? That I don't care? Do you know how many times I've wanted to―"

Jane cut himself off, the words tangling in his throat.

When he started again his voice was hoarse with emotion, "Okay, Lisbon. You win; we'll do this your way: three of my secrets for three of yours. Do you want us to spill our guts all at once, or do you want to take turns?"

She looked at him steadily, the evidence of her anger still fresh on her cheeks and said, "I think I want a cup of tea."


She knows what he is trying to do, and dammit, it's working. Jane had the innate ability to piss her off past the point of reason, but she also knows that it's a tactic he uses out of desperation. He's trying to cover up his soft underbelly for fear that she'll rip it open.

He should know by now though that his claws could cut her just as deeply.

But, she can't just let him get away with it this time. There's too much riding on this. So, she'll allow for a brief redirect.

"I think I want a cup of tea."

He gives her a relieved smile and begins to bustle around his small kitchenette. "In the mood for something in particular, Lisbon? I've got a lovely oolong that has a citrus-y flavor, or would you prefer a spicy chai?"

Deep breaths, Teresa, deep breaths.

"Spare me the show, Jane, and just make me a goddamn cup of tea. I don't care what it is." She sees him wince at her tone. She knows she could be nicer, but he deserves to have his attitude thrown back at him.

Jane's like a cat though, always able to find his feet. "Take a seat, Lisbon, and I'll have this over to you in a jiffy." She can hear the false cheerfulness covering the fear beneath.

He's worried too. She was being cruel when she said that he wasn't invested because she knew that he probably stood to lose more if this went bad, but she was feeling petty and small and he didn't deserve comfort right now!

She sits down on his sofa, noting that it's nowhere near as comfortable as the one in the office, and she tries to gather her thoughts back into the semi-coherent order they'd had before her confrontation with Jane.

Item One-ish: Go to Jane's Airstream and try not to scream out feelings of love, desires to stay, or comments on how his near-bedtime appearance is adorably attractive. Check.

Item Two-ish: Coerce Jane into a discussion involving potentially hazardous topics, like said feelings of love. Check

Item Three-ish: Try not to cry. Nope, definitely failed to do that one.

Item Four-ish: Drink tea and discuss secrets. In progress.

Jane appeared at her knee, tea in hand, and startled her out of her thoughts. "Here, Lisbon, it's the chai. I thought you'd like it better than the oolong, it has a richer flavor, like coffee."

She murmured an absent thanks and took the cup. He sat down opposite her and took a sip from his own tea. Probably the oolong, she thought, because I'm pretty sure that he keeps the chai just in case I decide to switch over completely. The thought warms her in a way that a million cups of tea could not, the thought of Jane planning for a future with her in it.

Well, that would be as good an opening as any.

"This is why I'm here, you know."

Her quiet words shattered the silence that had surrounded them, causing Jane to look up at her sharply, the questions already rising in his eyes.

Before he can voice them however, Lisbon rushes on, eager to get her thoughts out before reason, or fear, could intervene.

"I'm here because you buy chai tea, even though you don't drink it. You get it for me because you know that it's the only kind that I find bearable. And I drink it for you because you like tea, and you like watching me enjoy the things you like."

Jane's mouth is hanging slightly open in surprise. She can tell that he wants to object, that he wants to crawl away somewhere and hide, but she's come too far to let him get away now.

"So, Jane, secrets. I think we should start with something small, then work our way up. And since you already made the first move with the cannoli, I'll counter."

That earns her a small smile; he'd always been appreciative of the fact that she was willing to play chess with him, even though she was terrible.

"Okay…secret number one: I briefly hated you for sleeping with Lorelei Martins."

Jane threw his head back an laughed. "Lorelei? That's what you consider a 'small' secret, Lisbon? Jesus, I don't really think that I want to know what else you have in store for me."

Her goal had been achieved, some of the tension in the room had faded away, leaving room for honest talk.

"It's the truth, Jane. I hated the way you let her blindside me in the interrogation room! I'm supposed to have the upper hand in those situations, and you made me powerless when you didn't include vital information! I was cut off at the knees, and then you ended up playing right into her little games. It wasn't fair, Jane, and if you really had been my partner you would have told me."

He stayed silent for a moment, digesting her words before making his own counterattack. "I am sorry about that, Lisbon," he began slowly, "but, I have an explanation for it. It may not be good, you may not like it, but it's the only one I have. Red John."

She leaned back onto the sofa, closed her eyes, and ran her hands down her face. "It always comes back to Red John with you, Jane. I have to tell you, I'm pretty fucking sick of it."

Lisbon looked up in time to see him flinch again. "I know, Lisbon, I know. He was my life for ten years. It's not as easy to let him go as I thought it would be. But, he had everything to do with why I didn't tell you about Lorelei."

He looked at her cautiously, and she motioned him to go on, "Go ahead, Jane. I've been waiting a long time to hear this."

Nodding, he continued, "See, the thing was, if I didn't tell you about Lorelei, what else had I not told you? If Red John knew how far into my confidence I'd taken you, you would become an even bigger target. I couldn't let that happen; there was still so much that I didn't know. I would not have knowingly endangered you in a situation so far out of my control, and certainly not without your permission."

Lisbon snorted at his last words, "You've never been one to ask permission, Jane, danger or not."

Jane gave a small nod of agreement, "I know, Lisbon, but I've always done my best to include you, but that was one time that I couldn't. It was imperative that Red John not be alerted to the fact that you would be a major player in his eventual fall. I was a known loner, my dear, but you did your level best to bring me out of my self-imposed exile. And it worked; I think it worked better than you anticipated, actually.

"However, Red John could not know about you until I knew more about him, and that couldn't happen unless…"

She finished his sentence, "Unless I was kept in the dark." She took his silence as affirmation.

"You know, a lot of things might have been different if you'd found a way to tell me that all those years ago."

Jane gave her a wry smile, "Yeah but, we wouldn't be here now having this heart-to-heart, would we Lisbon?"

Lisbon gave him a smile of her own. "Jane, we'd still be here and you know it. I'm not the only stubborn person around here." That got her a chuckle. Okay, she thought, time to move this conversation forward.

"Alright, Jane, that was my first secret. It's your turn."