Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist. This is probably a good thing. Bruno Heller, you might wring your hands in agony at what I do with your creation.
Author's Note: Oh my, what's this I see? Another chapter? And there was much rejoicing! I'm glad this fic is almost over, these chapters are starting to weigh on me. Especially now that it's getting more difficult to write them at work (what can I say, work makes me bored, boredom makes me write). By the way, you guys have made this my most reviewed/most followed story. You know what that makes you? FREAKING AWESOME, THAT'S WHAT! Thank you so much for your support! This one goes out to you!
"If I we're going to continue lying down, we should probably move to your bed."
She quite honestly has no idea how to respond to Jane's confession. She had always pictured him as a loving husband and father who put the needs of his family before his own.
But, this revelation brought him down to Earth, made him seem more human than everything else that she knew about him. Jane was larger than life, and normally he was quite happy being so, but this…this offered a new perspective on Jane that she'd lacked information to form.
He'd come to the CBI, to her, a broken man. She had done her best over the years to help put him back together, provide pieces for those that were missing, or flat out help him create new ones. Lisbon hadn't known that she had participated in what was, essentially, the creation of a new man.
Jane could be selfish, yes; he could be dark, and he had more demons than a person claiming to be possessed. However, Lisbon had witnessed firsthand over the years his great capacity for kindness and generosity, mostly because those acts had been directed at her. Still, she knew that she could not love him, would not have fallen in love with him, if he had never changed from the selfish child of his youth to the very self-aware man of his present.
He isn't making a move to get off the couch, though, and despite her claim of being able to stay awake all night, she is fading fast.
"Jane, get your ass in gear. I'm sleepy, and if we're going to finish this thing, we'll do it in bed."
Lisbon could see that her words have startled Jane out of a deep thought, but they also apparently provided him with plenty of ammunition for innuendo.
"Why, Lisbon, my dear, if I had known that you wanted me in the bed I would have moved in that direction much faster. I'll have you know, though, that I don't take kindly to being manhandled. You should treat me gently."
Though his words are light and teasing, the heaviness of guilt was still hanging in his eyes. She felt the need to reassure him again, to let him know that he hadn't managed to drive her off in all the years that they had worked together, and that his admission hadn't changed how she felt about him.
So, instead of falling back on words and platitudes, Lisbon used another tried and true method of getting Jane to wake from a self-pity stupor (it had the added bonus of letting him know that she cared, as well as being rather cathartic): she thumped his arm, hard.
The effects of her action were as desired and immediate.
"Oww, Lisbon, what was that for?"
Lisbon was forced to admit that Jane had an endearing pout; his lower lip jutted out impetuously, and his golden curls lent him an air of injured innocence.
"'That' was for almost having me on the sofa!"
She hit him again. "That was for distracting me from talking about it!"
Jane was looking mutinous, irritated that she had caught his ploy. "I would have you know, Lisbon, that that particular secret has been lurking within the depths of my heart for some time. You should feel honored that I shared it with you."
His statement ended on a mutter, and she knew that he was using his disgruntlement as a cover for how serious he was.
In the interest of forestalling any other protestations, Lisbon decided to kiss him. She liked kissing Jane. She reveled in his surprise at her bold move before allowing herself to fall into the taste and texture of his mouth.
She heard Jane give a small moan before feeling his tongue brush against hers.
But, as delicious as the sensations were, she had to break this off before it went any further. She pulled back gradually, soothing his objections with light nibbles and small pecks.
She finally backed all the way off and spent a moment memorizing the image of a thoroughly kissed Jane: curls mussed, lips red and swollen, a flush high on his cheeks. Unable to resist the temptation he presented, she ran a thumb across his lips, gathering up the hint of wetness there before slipping that thumb into her mouth.
Lisbon had never seen a man go cross-eyed with lust before, she hadn't believed that she could have that effect on a man, but low and behold, Jane's eyes crossed and his mouth went slack.
"Lisbon." Her name came out from between his lips on a raspy growl.
"Shh, Jane, we'll save that for later. For now, I want to move to you bed. This couch is unforgiving, and my back is as much a victim of time as the rest of me."
She watched with satisfied eyes as Jane shook off the haze of lust and stood up. She was pleased to note, however, that his body's reaction to her was still in full effect.
Giving in to the desire to tease him one last time (payback for all the times she couldn't), Lisbon swung her legs off the couch, placing them in front of Jane's, and stood up by increments. She made sure that, by the time that she was fully upright, the front of her body had brushed against every inch of his.
Then, she turned away and walked towards his bed, stretching out her limbs as she went.
She heard a low growl come from behind her, "Cruelty, thy name is Lisbon. It would be kinder of you to kill me and get it over with."
Lisbon laughed and gave a coy glance over her shoulder at him, "That would be too easy, Jane; I've got more than one score to settle with you, and to do that, I need you alive."
Still laughing, Lisbon added a bit more sway to her hips before settling on Jane's bed. She knew that on some level she should probably feel guilty about what she had done with Jane. Normally, she would never participate in anything remotely sexual or flirtatious with another man while she was in a relationship. But, most of the time it felt like she wasn't really in a relationship with Marcus.
It was true that she had agreed to go to D.C. with him, but she had never told him that she loved him. Lisbon had never even thought about love in relation to Marcus. She had agreed with him that there was the potential for something more, but in her heart of hearts, she didn't really believe it. Loving Marcus, or anyone else, would be impossible so long as Jane existed on the earth.
So, despite her relationship with Marcus, her religion, and her better nature, she could not bring herself to feel guilty over a single thing that had happened with Jane tonight. There is not enough time in the world for me to waste a single second of it on guilt.
Nodding to herself with satisfaction over her resolution, Lisbon swiftly reached up under her shirt and unhooked her bra. Jane's forceful exhale caught her attention. "What, Jane?"
"I just―I know you're teasing me, Lisbon. I know we're not going to take this any further tonight. But you're testing me, my dear. I've had a taste, but don't think I don't want the rest."
Lisbon gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm not teasing, Jane. Well, I am, but I have every intention of following through. Just…not tonight. We're both a little too raw for that, I think. But tomorrow…tomorrow is a different story, Jane. So, how's about you get over here and make yourself comfortable. We still have to get through a secret apiece, and I want to be comfy when we do."
"What about Pike, Lisbon? I've come to realize that I can't share you. You have to be completely mine. Just having your friendship isn't enough for me now, I need it all. And I need you to be okay with that."
She stiffened at the mention of Marcus, her fingers stilling in the action of unbuttoning her pants. He had every right to be concerned, she conceded, after all, he was the one on completely uncertain ground. Whether she stayed or left was a decision that she alone would ma―
His words "completely mine" finally registered. "What do you mean I have to be 'yours?' That sounds like a load of misogynistic bullshit to me, Jane."
Jane made a placating gesture with his hands, "Don't worry, Lisbon, I'll be completely yours. I am completely yours. Don't you know that?"
The thought of Jane belonging to her stunned Lisbon into silence. She'd been jealous for so long of the people that Jane belonged to: Red John, Lorelei, the goddamn FBI, and even, upon some shameful occasions, his wife and child. But despite all the years that they had worked together, and despite the number of those years that she had been in love with him, it had never occurred to her that Jane would dedicate himself to her. That he would give himself up to her was…humbling.
"I guess it is time for my last secret after all, Jane. I'm staying. I'm not going to D.C., I'm not going to marry Marcus. I'm going to stay here in Austin, with you. I know I told you earlier that I should be home packing. And I should, I really should because for all the years that I've known you, you've given me nothing but grief and heartache and you never once considered what it would do to me if you succeeded in killing Red John, how much my life would change because of that.
"I should be at home, packing up the life that I was starting to make here, but I couldn't…I couldn't pack you away in a neat little box and take you with me. All I have are your letters, Jane, and thousands of memories. It wasn't enough. I'd have to leave you behind and the thought of it was killing me because I've never left you before, you always leave me.
"But I had to know that I wasn't staying for nothing. You had to be capable of giving something back to me, Jane, and if you weren't going to be able to do that, I needed to know. It was only fair; I had to know just what I had to look forward to in exchange for a stable, and quite possibly very happy, life with Marcus in D.C.
"So that's it, Jane. That's my last secret. In the end, I couldn't leave you behind because I'm in love with you."
