What's left of me
The darkness faded in stages, with shadowy images drifting in front of her closed eyelids. Clary groaned as she struggled to fight the darkness. Her eyelids fluttered as her waking mind finally forced her up out of the well of darkness.
Clary opened her eyes to a screaming headache and the sight of Jace asleep in a chair beside her, his hand holding hers. Clary grimaced as she took in the unnatural position he sat in. She rubbed her eyes with her free hand and tried to pull her hand away without waking him. The moment her hand slipped free Jace jerked awake with a start. When he saw her looking at him he smiled tiredly the strain evident around his eyes.
"Hey beautiful" he said softly as he moved to sit beside her. He pushed her hair back and looked into her eyes, his eyes searching her face.
Clary smiled and cupped his face. "How long have I been out?"
Jace smiled back and put his hand into her hair tilting her face up to his. "Two days." He said softly as he studied a face that had come to mean the world to him. Jace felt such relief at seeing her eyes open that he felt as if a huge weight had lifted off his shoulders. Jace had refused to leave her bedside even for a moment for the whole miserable 48 hours. Jace had alternated between fear of her death and the even darker terror of what he would do without her.
"I've missed you" he said softly as he leaned closer and took her lips with his, gently as if she might break. "I was so afraid you were going to leave me. "
Clary smiled and pulled him tighter to her "I would never leave you."
Jace buried his face in her hair smelling that scent that haunted his every waking moment. "Promise?" he asked softly as he pulled back.
Clary smiled at him and the way he seemed so like a child for a moment. Jace was fierce and determined and absolutely lethal but it was when he let his guard down and let her see him as vulnerable that won her heart. "Promise."
Jace kissed her again gently and Clary felt frustrated at his gentleness, Right now she wanted passion, a reaffirmation of their life, not gentle treatment. She pulled him into a deeper kiss and growled when he tried to hold back. "Jace kiss me, really kiss me" she commanded " Don't you want me?"
Jace gulped and looked down into her eyes. "More than my life" he said softly " but we don't know what that mist was and you have been unconscious for two days, I have to take care of you." He tried to pull back but she grabbed him and pulled him back on top of her with surprising strength.
"Jace" she said softly "please."
Jace felt his resistance snap at the pleading in her voice. Everything else fell away despite the fact that they were in the infirmary and anyone could walk in at anytime. Jace slid down her body and wrapped her in his arms. Clary traced the faded scars from old runes and traced the permanent ones on his arms and chest where his shirt was open. She raked her hands up under his shirt and he growled in pleasure.
"By the angel Clary, how can I say no to you?" Jace kissed her fiercely his hands moving over her frantically. He pulled her shirt up and touched her breasts. She arched against his touch and smiled her pleasure as his lips found her. She growled and reached down ripping his shirt in half in her hurry to bare him to her. Jace smiled and pulled her shirt off and threw it behind him. Clary reached down and slid her pants off leaving her clad in only a pair of black boyshorts.
He smiled down at her and reached for the snap on his jeans. He knew he was being reckless but the sight of her lying there in only her panties was too much for his already weak control. He began to unsnap them stopped short when she opened her eyes and they glowed red. She smiled and her teeth were sharp like a vampires. Jace jumped back and slid to the end of the bed.
"Clary, your eyes..He gasped in disbelief "their red" Jace sat up and reached for her and she cringed back.
"What is wrong with me?" she asked in terror as she felt her teeth pierce her lip and she tasted blood.
Jace crept forward even though he was terrified. This was his Clary and he had vowed to protect her no matter what and she needed him. He came up on his knees and reached for her. Clary sat back not wanting to touch him in case she hurt him. "What have I become?"
Jace grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms even though he wasn't sure if she would hold him back or rip him apart. "I don't know" he answered softly once she stopped fighting him and began to sob in his arms "but you're still mine and I will take care of you."
"Why waste your time, I could kill you." Her voice a tiny whisper came to him through a cloud of shinning red hair.
"Because I love you." Jace said simply as he held her "and I'll never let you go."
Clary closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his warm solid warmth praying that he never had to.
