So sorry it has been such a long time between updates but life gets in the way as it often does. I hope you like this update. Please review and let me know what you think.
What I've become
The nightmare began again and kept playing like a sick looping movie in her head. She saw the blood, smelled it and could almost taste it as it dripped off her. She looked down and her hands were coated in blood. She gagged and began to backpedal in horror at her crimson hands but then her eye caught and held her worst fear. Her mouth opened to scream but no sound came out as the horror of Jace's sightless eyes closed her throat. All she could do was stare in horror at Jace's body and listen to the laughter in her head.
Clary sat up and screamed. It was a low mournful sound that had Jace's skin crawling. He jumped and almost fell off the bed, where he'd been sleeping next to her. He grabbed her and pulled her toward him but she fought him. Her nails elongated and her teeth were sharp points in her mouth as it opened for her to scream. She was still caught in the dream and her eyes, red as rubies, were unable to see reality.
Jace shook her and yelled her name but it didn't matter. Clary growled and clutched her head trying to shut out the laughter inside her mind. She screamed again and again and Jace was terrified that he might not be able to bring her back. He grimaced but did the only thing he could do, he slapped her, hard.
Clary's head flew back and she jerked as the pain broke through her dream and her eyes cleared of the terror. Clary's breath was ragged as she took in the room and finally Jace. She sobbed when he pulled her to him, cradling her like a child in his arms. He whispered her name over and over like a prayer and it echoed the pain from her own heart.
The silent brothers had been called once she'd awakened and they had tried to find the cause of her transformation. It had taken them two weeks of "tests" that had almost driven Clary insane. Finally they had found the bite on her that they had missed because it had been cloaked by a spell infused in the bite. Clary's heart had clenched when she'd seen the flash of sadness cross one brother's eyes before he hid it, but she knew what it meant.
The demon who had attacked her that night was called a Supressio demon. They were ancient and one of the most deadly. They specialized in attacking people and taking over their dreams. The demon was usually sent for someone in particular and always got its prey. The demon took the victim over in degrees, using their worst fears and nightmares against them. The victim eventually became one of the Suppressio demons and began taking their own victims.
The Silent brothers hadn't seen one in hundreds of years. They belief being that the last of this demon had been killed in the last great demon war, but this latest attack had proved them wrong. The records stated that the last shadowhunter bitten by a Supressio demon had taken two months to change and then had to be killed. There was no known cure for the bite, rumors and legends certainly, but no known cure.
"Jace get away from me" she snarled pushing at him "I don't want to hurt you."
Jace smiled even as he grunted from the effort to keep her in his arms. Since the brothers had found the mark on her, her change had been rapid, and Clary spent more and more time now in a partial demon form. She refused to look at him and was becoming more and more distant, building up walls to keep him out so that when her time came it wouldn't hurt him so much.
"No" he said firmly forcing both her hands into one of his. He freed the other to force her to look at him. Her eyes glowed red and she fought like mad to get away, but he was still stronger. "I have told you and told you, I'm not going anywhere."
"But the dreams.." she began sadly trying to keep the growl from her voice. "What happens when I actually hurt you, how can I live with that? You need to get away from me now." Her voice was more a command than a request but Jace heard the sadness and loss in her voice and was determined to never let her go even if he had to follow her to hell and back.
Jace lifted her chin to meet his gaze, forcing her to meet his eyes. "You won't hurt me and you belong to me always." Jace's heavenly blue eyes looked down into her red ones and she felt her heart shatter at the memories of the screams in her head. Clary did the only thing she could think to do, she cried.
"Shit" Jace swore softly as he kissed her cheeks trying to stop the tears. "Please don't cry, Please," he begged silently " I can't stand it when you cry." He wipped away a few more tears and noticed that his hand came away red.
Clary grabbed his hand and examined it, looking for cuts. When she found none she shoved him away quickly and jumped up to race to the mirror across from the bed. She stared in abject horror at her reflection and raked her hand through her unruly waves. Her eyes were now bright red and her hair had acquired streaks of blonde as the demon took over. Eventually she would have white blonde hair and red eyes all the time, eventually she would no longer be able to control herself, she would kill anyone who came close. "What the hell have I become?" she asked softly as she stared into her own demon red eyes.
She rubbed her eyes and turned away from the mirror unable to look at herself anymore. She walked to the window and stared out at the rainy day. She ignored Jace as a feeling of anger and loss overwhelmed her. She gripped the windowsill and tried to breathe as she felt him moving toward her. He was like gravity holding her tethered and she didn't know how she was going to live without him but she knew what the silent brothers thought, knew that her chances of staying herself were slim to none. Jace would never walk away but he wasn't safe and he had to get away from her.
He came to stand behind her and bracketed her with his arms. "You're still you." He said softly as he nuzzled her neck and for a moment she enjoyed it breathing him in, but then she did what she had to, she shoved him away.
Jace felt shock run through him as she pushed him away. He tried to move closer again but she turned on him with a snarl. "Get away from me." She growled "I can't stand to have you touch me. "
"Clary" Jace said brokenly reaching for her. His eyes were clouded with pain and it ripped her in half but she knew it was for the best. "Please let me help you."
"No one can help me." She snarled loudly as she shoved his chest. She turned and ignored him even though she could barely breathe. "Get out."
