He was sure the girl sitting beside him in the passenger seat had the same thought he did. Suffer through this for Nunnally's sake. Even C.C. had to have that much decency else she never would've come. But given her earlier behavior—

Suzaku's mind flashed back to the squeeze of her thighs, and he nearly ran a red light.

"Careful," C.C. quipped, voice muffled by her yellow plush, "You're going to get us killed."

Her eyes had strayed from the road and refocused on him with such intensity that he swore she'd known exactly what he was thinking. Even when he turned his head aside, he could still see her eyes reflected in the window. There was no escaping her, so he concentrated hard on appreciating the scenery outside instead.

The storm had blanketed the city overnight, leaving icy roads and grey clouds in its wake. Every bare boned tree had been bleached, and where the traffic was light, it was hard to make out the sidewalk from the snow. Even so, there was liveliness in the streets and Christmas decorations yet to be taken down. Colorful winter coats seemed to indicate the New Years celebration was far from over, so it wouldn't have been a exaggeration, then, to say the atmosphere in the car was colder than it was outside.

Only Nunnally's vibrancy kept the awkward silences at bay. She was bursting with things about her time abroad, about studying in Cambridge and catching shows in London, but he just couldn't share her enthusiasm. His distraction must have shown because the next he looked in the rear view mirror, Nunnally's eyebrows had drawn together in a worried frown.

"Suzaku? Are you okay? I'm sorry. If I'm talking too much, just tell me."

"No, not at all! I just have a lot of things on my mind. Don't worry about it. Tell me more about your school. Was Rolo in your class too?"

Her look of hesitation cleared up, and her excitement filled the small interior once more, giving Suzaku the opportunity to retreat back into his own thoughts. They were a mess. C.C.'s interest in him had seemingly faded as quickly as it'd developed. She had barely talked to him since they'd left the house which was fine by him because the feeling was mutual. The less he talked to her the better; the only downside was that it didn't answer any questions.

Her claims of less than an hour ago continued repeating in his head along with Lelouch's quick denial. Of course, he wasn't going to take her word over his, but that didn't make what she'd said any less disturbing. And that wasn't the only thing. The two had tucked themselves away in a corner when Suzaku was preoccupied with helping Nunnally into her jacket. Their exchange reached his ears regardless.

"Relax. Now that he knows I'm here, there's no point in hiding, is there?"

"But what if he—"

"You said yourself the chances were slim to none, didn't you?"

Suzaku frowned. Hiding? Who was she hiding from? What was Lelouch so concerned about? He doubted a jilted ex-boyfriend was the cause, so what? His eyes inadvertently narrowed in C.C.'s direction, and his grip on the wheel tightened.

Even if she was pregnant, he'd never let Lelouch marry her, and Lelouch would never think to marry someone like her to begin with. This was just a passing fancy that would end as soon as he came to his senses.

By the time Suzaku had parked the car, he'd thoroughly talked himself out of any possibility of a future wedding, pregnancy be damned. He almost felt lighter, as though a weight had been lifted, and he even deigned to open the car door for the very girl who was the source of all his stress. The look in her eye, however, was enough to make him regret the action immediately.

'Ever the chivalrous knight, eh?'

He didn't need her voice to affirm those amber insinuations. She was mocking him, toying with him, as she'd constantly been doing ever since he returned to Japan. It was difficult not to bite back, but in the presence of Nunnally, he had to behave. She came first; his affection for Nunnally far outweighed his distaste for C.C., so he settled for a tight smile and a quick slam of the door that just barely missed the hem of her pants.

Suzaku took the wheelchair out of the trunk and helped Nunnally into it.

"Thank you, Suzaku," she smiled, slipping her arms from around his neck as she settled into the seat, bundled up in the overly large jacket Lelouch had made her wear.

"Ah, Miss C.C.!" Nunally leaned back into the car and caught a similarly bloated white coat by the sleeve. "You forgot your jacket!"

"I don't need it," C.C. replied, pirouetting to face them from the considerable distance she'd already walked. "Your brother is just worried he'll have to take care of me if I get sick."

Nunnally laughed. "That's not true; I'm sure he's just worried about you."

No response. C.C. simply pulled her cap lower over her eyes and started walking again.

Suzaku shook his head. "That woman has no consideration for others," he murmured and then, louder, "It's fine, Nunnally. Just leave her be."

Nunnally reluctantly let go, and Suzaku locked the door. By the time Suzaku pushed Nunnally out of the parking lot, C.C. had already disappeared into the depths of the indoor mall.

"That woman," Suzaku muttered, keeping as quiet as he could, but it seemed it wasn't quiet enough because the next thing he knew, Nunnally's bright violet eyes had locked onto his.

"Suzaku, please be nice to Miss C.C."

Her bluntness caught him off guard; a sense of guilt immediately coiled in the pit of his stomach. She lay her small hand atop his on the handlebars and accompanied the gesture with a twinkling laugh out of sync with the gravity of her words.

"I wasn't going to say anything," she smiled, "But I was glad Brother couldn't come. I really want you to get along with Miss C.C. She's very kind to me, and ever since Miss Sayoko left—"

"Sayoko left?" Nunnally didn't need to see his face to make out the surprise.

Her smile faltered, and her grip loosened. Soon she'd curled her fingers back in her lap, playing with the fringes of her jacket restlessly as she looked for an explanation.

"Yes, that was my choice. I'm fine on my own; I really am. Brother insisted otherwise, but I want to help him, so this was the least I could do."

She shrugged. They walked slowly in the crowd, slower now that Suzaku had this new information to digest. His indignation only grew in light of it because while Nunnally was left to take care of herself, C.C. continued hoarding pizzas? Buying whatever she liked with Lelouch's money?

"Ever since she left," Nunnally continued, "Miss C.C. has helped me a lot. I know you don't like her, but please give her a chance. Remember when you first met us?"

Her bright smile returned, but this time Suzaku shifted his gaze to the side with a sheepish chuckle. He was a kid, and he had his reasons for disliking Lelouch. This, however, wasn't the same. In addition to using Lelouch, C.C. had no good traits whatsoever. He couldn't argue with Nunnally, but he couldn't do as she said either. Her earnestness alone was enough to win him over on everything except this.

"Promise me." She reached for his hand once more. "Promise me you'll try."

For all his misgivings, Suzaku still couldn't find it in him to deny her. His shoulders slumped in defeat, and his eyes wrinkled in an attempt at a reassuring smile. "Promise," he tittered nervously.

⁂ ⁂ ⁂

It was well into the afternoon when they finished lunch. C.C.'s willingness to dine on anything other than her favorite junk food—after much convincing, that is—was unexpected but not as unexpected as Nunnally leaving them alone.

"You promised," she'd said, grinning broadly and wheeling out of reach before Suzaku could react. She was swallowed by the crowd with the promise that she'd call when she was done, and that was that.

He knew Nunnally was trying her best, but without her, he and C.C. had nothing to say. As he'd predicted, there was only awkward silence. Suzaku didn't bother asking where she was going, and she didn't bother telling him. It was a good twenty minutes or so before either said a word, not until the fourth or fifth clothing shop they'd passed that C.C. finally broke the tension.

"I suppose you could help me if nothing else," she said simply, eyes drawn to a window of wedding dresses.

Suzaku followed her line of sight, and the moment he realized what he was looking at, the answer caught and changed halfway in his throat. "I'm not—You weren't serious, were you?"

"About what?"

"You know about what."

He could see the Chesire grin spreading across her features from the glass reflection. "What?" she asked again, refusing to answer until he said the word that she very well knew he was loathe to say.

"Pregnant," Suzaku finally hissed though the word came out like air from a deflated tire, exasperated.

"Oh, that. You're not still hung up on that, are you? Besides, it doesn't even concern you, so why should you care?"

Light steps took her farther from the storefront and onto the next one. Bright engagement rings glistened under artificial lighting, and whether feigned or real, C.C. seemed very interested. The panic rose.

"Of course I care!" Suzaku sputtered, hastening to catch up. "We're friends; friends don't let each other throw their lives away."

C.C. chuckled, twirling hair around her forefinger as she continued dawdling before the jewelry display. She must've enjoyed watching him squirm. What exactly had Lelouch fallen in love with?

"Whatever happened to chivalry?"

"Women like you killed it. Are you going to give me a straight answer or not?"

"Maybe," she replied after a moment of thought, head tilted to the side so Suzaku could just barely catch her eye. "If you help me, that is."

"I'm not sure I want to; I'm not sure it's worth it," he said straightforwardly and anticipated snark in return. Maybe, "you'll never know if you don't try," or otherwise, "that's not very knightly of you," but the playfulness had disappeared.

She straightened, arms crossed beneath her chest, eyes averted. "Why do you dislike me so much, Suzaku?"

Dislike was a bit of an understatement at this point. "We both know why."

"Oh? Humor me, then." She quirked an eyebrow and turned heel. "Why?"

"You don't love him." If she was being serious, then he supposed he could return the favor.

"And you do?"

"Yes. No. I mean, we're friends. Don't give me that look, C.C." Suzaku grimaced. "You know what I mean."

"Fine, fine," she returned airily, faint smirk playing on her lips as she tugged on the brim of her cap. "Fair enough, but how can you be so sure that I don't?"

"Because that's not how love works," he answered, almost reflexively.

It wasn't love because he knew what love was. He'd experienced it. Love was support and selflessness and sacrifice. Loyalty. Pain. Happiness. Nothing could've quite described his time with Euphemia, but if there was one thing he did know, it was that she and her feelings couldn't hope to compare. Her shallow motives hardly qualified as feelings to begin with. He was confident in this assessment if nothing else, and he was almost looking forward to C.C.'s defense or lack thereof.

But rather than responding, she stopped in front of an electronics store. C.C. laced her fingers behind her back and watched the several high def, big screen televisions on display. They were all playing the same show, some lovelorn drama, and it seemed this was the scene where the fiancé confronted his lover about her infidelity. Or about her cancer. It was always one or the other with these shows. Suzaku's eyes strayed after a couple of seconds. He found this kind of entertainment base and vulgar, but if he didn't know better, he would've said C.C. was a fan by the way her eyes remained fixed til the screens cut to commercial.

"Maybe not, I don't know," she said finally. "But I do enjoy being with him. And that's the truth."

Such naked honesty caught him by surprise. He didn't have anything to say to that, so when she turned and received only stunned silence, she simply started walking again without him.

⁂ ⁂ ⁂

Suzaku waited outside the dressing room impatiently. He didn't know how he got dragged into this or why he agreed in the first place. Hell, he hadn't agreed, not really. She'd simply taken his non-response as affirmation, and they were wedged between racks of skirts and dresses and blouses before he could regain his bearings. The only upside was that she didn't seem to be buying as much as he'd thought she would. He'd expected armfuls of clothes thrust on him, but she'd thrown maybe ten outfits his way, five on each forearm as he counted the seconds and tried to avoid the stares and whispers.

"—so cute! I wish my boyfriend would come shopping with me."

"She's soooo lucky. My ex wouldn't even hold my purse while I bought groceries."

Hushed twitters and giggles passed by as Suzaku nudged the cell phone from his pocket only to be disappointed by the lack of notifications. Surely Nunnally had to have finished by now. When was she going to call because he really couldn't stand it anymore.

"Oi, C.C.!" he called, wearing the same unhappy look as a man with indigestion as he leaned forward, "Are you done yet—?"

"What do you think?"

The door had nearly flipped in his face when she'd opened it, but now he was preoccupied with something else entirely. If he was any less used to her antics (or sleepwear), he might've started blushing.

"W-Why are you buying a swimsuit in the middle of winter?" he sputtered.

"Because swimsuits are cheap in winter," she answered as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Now tell me," she continued, plucking at the strings of her white halter top, "Is this to Lelouch's aesthetic?"

As if to further emphasize her question, she gave Suzaku the full view with a quick turn left and right. The bikini bottom hugged her hips tightly, tighter than her usual undergarments, but was it more inappropriate to point that out or to not?

To be honest, C.C. had looked stunning in nearly every outfit she'd tried. Granted, some were a little more ridiculous than others, but she still managed to pull them off. It was an objective fact that didn't have anything to do with what Suzaku personally thought of her. He couldn't very well admit that, though. He wasn't Lelouch, and if she had really wanted to know Lelouch's opinion, then how was he supposed to know.

"You're his friend," she'd said, "Shouldn't you know his type?"

It was easier to give in than to argue. He wondered if Lelouch often felt the same in her presence, so rather than insisting he didn't know, he simply yea'd or nay'd at random and to the best of Lelouch's "aesthetic" as he could manage. At the very least he knew his friend didn't like sequins.

C.C. rummaged through the remaining articles draped over his arm. He was sure she'd already worn them all and was about to say so when she pulled something, or rather somethings, from the pile.

"Oh, that's right, here." She pushed the hanger against his chest. "Try this."

It was a white dress shirt and checkered pants to match her checkered skirt and white blouse. She'd even picked out a headband to accessorize. Suzaku could only blink and stare for a few seconds, mouth slightly agape, unable to understand what she was aski—demanding.

"Why."

She was already halfway back in her dressing room before he'd even recovered, and he nearly followed her into it.

"Because I want to gauge how well it'd look on him," she said simply, hanging the outfit on the nearest empty hook before meeting Suzaku's gaze in the mirror. Her impassive stare almost seemed to say, "Are you an idiot?"

"Lelouch and I aren't even the same size!"

"Close enough. I just need an approximation." She hooked her thumbs into the band of her bikini and leaned back til her upside down eyes met his, and he saw that familiar spark of mischief.

"Do you mind?" Her fingers slowly began applying pressure and the second half of her swimsuit almost began making its way back down her body. "Or you could stay and wa—"

Suzaku slammed the door shut and banged his head against it. He was a good person; he didn't deserve this. Given it was C.C., though, there was little else he could do, so he begrudgingly backtracked to the men's room and pulled out his cellphone for the umpteenth time in the process. He continued staring at the darkened screen even as he hung his jacket, pulled his shirt over his head, unzipped his pants and began maneuvering into the slacks.

His face crumpled when he came to the realization that Nunnally most likely wouldn't be calling in the next five minutes, and just as he'd thought, he and Lelouch weren't the same size. He tore his eyes away from the phone to refocus on his reflection, and he sighed, shoulders slumped. Once he'd buttoned the shirt, the tightness became that much more obvious. Lelouch had always been thin as a stick; he had the same proportions as a woman if C.C. constantly wearing—and fitting into—his clothes said anything. Suzaku's lean muscles were bursting out of the seams, and in short, he looked ridiculous.

"Hey, now, see?" she said, dragging him before the large mirror in the hall once they'd reconvened. "We look good."

She leaned against his side, and a few more girls giggled as they passed. "Hm."

She tilted her head. "Yep, Lelouch would look better."

She looked up at him. "But this works."

She was enjoying this.

"Ugh." Suzaku threw up his hands and tore the tie away in a fit of frustration. "I'm going to go to wait in line."

He left before she could protest and quickly redressed, frowning as he did so. His fingers tripped along, fumbling with the buttons and zippers and everything else in his haste. He was sick and tired of being toyed with and resolved to call Nunnally whether or not she called them. At this point, he hardly even cared about getting an answer to his previous question.

When Suzaku finally reached the queue, there were only girls. They crowded him on either side, and by the time he sidled up to the register, he was too worn to care or even notice the card he'd slid across the counter.

"You're paying."

C.C.'s deadpanned observation caused a jump. All of a sudden, she was at his side, back in her hat and skirt and jacket with the same quirk of her brow and tilt of her head that was slowly driving him insane.

"Ah—"

Suzaku snapped out of his daze and instinctively reached for the card that was already in the cashier's hand.

He stopped midway and sighed. "Never mind," he amended, shaking his head as his arm returned to the tabletop. He gave C.C. a disgruntled sideward glance. "Nunnally has Lelouch's, right? So."

He paused. "It's on me."

"Hmmm?" she hummed, cupping her chin in her hand as she leaned against the ledge.

"What?"

"Nothing." She ignored the clipped tone and picked up the bags. "Just what I'd expect from the White Knight."

Suzaku grabbed the receipt and quickly thanked the girl before hurrying after C.C. She was quick; her short, small steps had already taken her out the store by the time Suzaku caught up. The bags hung loosely in her hands, knocking against her legs every few feet as she stopped and started and stopped. Her eyes had strayed towards another storefront, a knockoff of Pizza Hut, but he ignored the hungry look in her eyes and walked on.

"Why do you keep calling me that?"

"What?" she asked, eyes glued to the menu as she dawdled after him.

"'White Knight.'"

She laughed, and the sound startled him. He snapped his head over his shoulder and stared, bemused, because something...?

"Do you remember when we first met, Suzaku Kururugi?"

She walked past him, bags and hands laced behind her back. A sense of déjà vu washed over him, and he followed silently.

"You were helping an old lady cross the street. I figured you a knight in shining armor right then and there, but the moniker doesn't quite roll of the tongue, does it? And neither does silver knight, so."

She swiveled around, and he nearly ran into her. Their faces were mere inches apart.

"White Knight."

Ah. He thought he'd heard that laugh before. It was the same as Euphemia's wasn't it? Well, not the same, no. No one could ever replace Euphy's lilt, but it was similar, wasn't it? His expression had inadvertently softened as his thoughts wandered, so he didn't notice the draining color in C.C's face or the bags that had suddenly dropped from her hands.

"It can't be. No, he can't have..."

"C.C.?"

If she'd been any quieter, he would've missed the hushed whisper entirely. While they had stopped in the middle of the mall, others continued pulsing and pushing around them. The constantly fluxing crowd reflected in her yellow eyes that had gone wide with—fear? Surprise? What could strike fear or surprise in a girl so callous and unabashed?

Suzaku turned—

"Come here!"

Her hand twisted in his shirt with such strength he nearly tripped over his feet following her or, rather, being dragged by her.

"Hey! C.C.! What—!"

"Shut up."

She shoved him against the wall. The hard glint in her eyes meant to cow him merely enraged him instead. He opened his mouth, ready to give her hell for the rough, uncalled for treatment, ready to make a fuss about being pulled into a side corridor, ready to question her sanity, but she took the opening and acted first.

She was just as rough with her tongue as she had been with her actions. He felt as though he were being beaten rather than kissed by the way her fingers remained firmly curled in the collar of his shirt, the way her knuckles had turned white from force, the way her lips trembled against his, the way her tongue bruised the inside of his mouth.

Fuck.

"Mmhmph!"

Suzaku's hands fluttered to her shoulders and hesitated. He didn't even know where to touch her. He didn't even know what she was doing. He didn't even know why this was happening. Somehow, in all his confusion, his hands managed to settle on her body long enough for him to push. She was strong, though. Much, much, much stronger than she looked, and as if to dissuade his incessant nudging, she suddenly broke away. He took a deep breath, surprise having made him forget to breath, but the pause was only long enough to lull him into a false sense of security. Before he could even yelp, her lips were on his once more, except their positions had switched. Her back was flush against the wall this time, and he boxed her in, hands set on either side of her as he pushed in vain. It was no use. She had an iron grip on his shirt. The only way he could pry her loose was to rip it.

And despite everything, despite the person, somewhere in the back of his mind he still couldn't help but wonder how long it'd been since he last kissed a girl like this.

Time seemed to drag on forever, but then slowly, ever so haltingly, her hold relaxed. The moment the pressure began easing, he sprung back and nearly knocked into another couple who gave him a vexed look for disrupting their romantic moment with his supposedly romantic moment. Suzaku, however, was too flustered to give a damn. His face was as red as her hair was green, the leftover stands of which she discreetly tucked into her hat.

"What—! C.C.! W-What was that? Why—! C.C.!"

She picked up the bags she'd kicked after them without answering his question and left the thin hallway, going in the same direction as before but at a much faster pace.

He really had to run to catch up now once he'd sufficiently recovered from the shock and had wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"C.C.!" he called, dodging between families and couples to reach her.

"Tell Nunnally to meet us at the fountain in front. We're leaving."

"Why?" he spat. "What was that? Who—"

His thoughts returned to the look on her face and the barely noticeable stutter she'd had before dragging him away. He grabbed her wrist hard enough to bruise.

"What are you running from. Who are you running from?"

C.C. stopped, but the blank ferocity of her eyes, suddenly devoid of all light, unnerved him more than his aggression did her.

"Who said I was running from anyone?" she returned casually. "It's getting late. In light of that, do you disagree?"

Suzaku gritted his teeth, a growl ready to erupt from the back of his throat, when a familiar voice broke his concentration.

"Suzaku? Miss C.C.? Is everything alright?"

⁂ ⁂ ⁂

A young man boarded a bus in the parking lot. He paid his fare and sat in the front, wholly unaware of the stares he got because his mind was somewhere else.

"Thank you."

Bright purple headphones covered his ears, but it wasn't music he was happily humming to.

"I understand."

He sighed and pressed his face to the window, drawing pictures in the frost. Soon, the entire surface was covered in little hearts with tiny words in the center.

"Don't worry."

Yes, there wasn't any need to worry. He would be reunited with the love of his life soon. She was the only one for him; they'd promised, after all.

"Are you awake?"

He smiled dreamily and stared into the storm outside. He could almost see her now, walking through the snow to him.

"Oh, Mao, how silly!"

His eyes widened. "C.C.!" he cried, banging on the glass. But the bus had already started moving, and she didn't notice him. She got into the car, a clump of hair falling out of her hat to frame her lovely, lovely face and big, beautiful amber eyes.

There was no way he'd ever mistake her. This was his C.C. He'd found her at last.

"Mao. Mao? Mao!"

"Wait for me, C.C.!" he called, face and white hair pressed against the cold pane. "Wait for me!"


author's note: that was a long chapter, longest thing i've written in a long time to be honest, but i'll try to keep it to about this length for future chapters. in any case, apologies for the silence! i've been debating for the last couple of months how to continue the story, and i more or less have an idea. i'm not going to make any promises, but i will do my best though updates won't be very quick. sorry orz school starts soon and i'm going to be very very busy until january at least, so yeah :,D um i'm sorry for the lack of c.c. x lelouch orz but please know there will be c.c. x lelouch because c.c. x lelouch is my ultimate otp. i do, however, enjoy developing c.c. x suzaku, so i hope you had as much fun reading this chapter as i did writing it. also, apologies for the suzaku-centric pov orz it's the pov i'm most comfortable with rn tbqh, but i will switch it up! there will be c.c. pov and lelouch pov in the future; i just can't say when exactly. um big big thanks to everyone who reviewed and followed and fav'd :) i really appreciate it especially since i haven't dabbled in code geass in so long. please feel free to leave criticisms or suggestions; i'll take them into account! and of course feel free to review with good things too; they make me warm and fuzzy and help a lot as well! in any case, thanks for reading!

oh! fun fact: i tried my best to copy c.c.'s outfits from the anime/official artwork into the fanfic, haha.