Pairings : 00Q.
Disclaimer : I own nothing.
Of Ponies and Cupcakes :
"Here's your tea, Q."
"Thank you, Cecilia."
The assistant smiled.
"Are you sure you don't need us to stay ?"
Q shook his head.
"That will be all, thank you. It's late, and you all need some rest."
Cecilia didn't complain.
"I'll just clean a bit around and I'll be on my way, then."
The 00's missions were always exhausting. There was no simple business when it came to them. Q's only luck was that all the agents were not as stubborn as 007.
Speaking of the devil …
Tanner came in, Bond at his side. 005's mission was over, but not his. Terrorists definitely needed no rest.
"I need equipment, Q. Something more … original."
"What ? You didn't like the boots ?"
"I'm not freaking Spiderman, Q. I don't need to climb walls like that. I take the elevator, usually."
That was a lie, and they both knew it. These boots had proved to be useful when Bond had had to catch the Russian spy who had jumped through the window of a building - Russians, Q thought, seemed to all be Natasha freaking Romanoff, minus the boobs.
"I happen to have something for you."
"Good."
Tanner yawned, and excused himself. He was a bit uncomfortable, not that anyone could blame him. Q had followed Bond all day, through the corridors of one ridiculously big house, to look for the detonator of a bomb that could possibly make the Eiffel Tower go BOUM. So much for being friend with the French. The French agent on the case had been shot and had managed to escape, God only knew how. He had been debrief by the French agency an hour ago. Meanwhile, Bond had managed to disregard Q's instructions, and had almost got himself killed. 005 had been in Paris, trying to dismantle the bomb hidden somewhere in the Eiffel Tower, and had hopefully succeeded. But Bond was after the Big Guy - and France was only one of the targets. Agents had been sent to help the CIA in order to prevent the Statue of Liberty from exploding too. M had joked that their enemy wasn't probably fond of French art. M did that, now. Weird jokes.
Anyway, back to the point - which was difficult because Q hadn't slept in 39 hours - Q and Bond had quite an argument about following directions. And after five missions together, the whole MI-6 now knew better than to stand in the way while they had a fight.
Q opened a small box and asked Bond to give him his earpiece. He carefully opened it, and put a small card in it. The operation took him about twenty minutes, during which Bond paced in the room, apparently ready to resume the fight.
"Here, it's done."
"What is it ?"
"A card containing the audio version of all My Little Pony episodes."
"Excuse me ?"
"Press this button" Q said while handing him a small remote "and instead of hearing my voice, you'll hear ponies talking because, obviously, you live in a world of unicorns, pink flowers, and butterflies and rainbows in which no one can be killed ! You ass."
Bond obviously had no answer to that. Q, being the British geekish gentleman that he was, rarely swore. Q simply stood here, ready to be yelled at and ready to fight back when Bond said :
"We should have dinner, together I mean."
"What ?"
"What what ? We should have dinner, Q."
"Are you talking about going on a date with you, 007 ?"
"Yes, about Chinese food ?"
"What ?" Again.
"Chinese it is, then. Don't worry, Mao at the end of the street is used to us ordering takeaway late at night."
Bond sent a text message.
"Wait, now ?"
"Q, we are on a deadly mission. I could have died today, and I could die tomorrow. So yes, I'm taking you on a date, now. Here, and now."
"Oh My God I can't believe it !"
Q and Bond turned around to see Cecilia, carrying boxes to put them is the safe.
"What are you still doing here, Cecilia ?"
"Well, I wasn't going to let that in the middle of the room, and you still have a lot of work to do, so … But, really, you are taking him on a date with Chinese food in the middle of his own lab, and you haven't brought any flowers ?"
Bond didn't like interns, Q remembered. But he also remembered why he liked Cecilia so much. The look on James's face was priceless, right now.
"Nobody asked for your opinion, intern."
"I know, I know, but come on ! This is the worst date EVER in the universal history of dates !"
"Just get out."
Cecilia sighed, put the boxes down, and did as she was told. When Bond turned to him, Q couldn't hide his smile.
"She's right, you know."
"Q, that's our first date. Don't ruin it."
"I never said yes. Go take a shower, and I'll consider it."
oOo
When Bond came back, he had the food, a pair of candles, and flowers. Q briefly wondered where he had got all that at 2 in the morning.
They ate in the middle of the lab, talking about everything but the mission. Q was weirdly pleased. He blamed his exhaustion for it. The candles's wax was dropping on the table, and Q knew he should complain, but then he felt the light pressure of Bond's foot on his tight and forgot about complaining.
That felt nice, all of it.
"You know" he muttered, a bit sleepy, "that's actually not that bad."
Bond laughed, and Q noticed the four buttons of his shirt were undone. He found himself oddly fascinated by his collarbones. Bond leaned in a little, a for a second Q thought he was going to kiss him, but 007 just whispered :
"You're going to fall asleep, aren't you ?"
He didn't deny it.
"You're such a baby." James said.
But then Bond's hand was on his knee, and it was very nice, and Q could't help himself and said :
"We should do that more often."
Bond laughed again - and that was a nice laugh - and got up. He helped Q to do the same, and asked him if there was something he could sleep on, here. He pointed towards his desk, under which there was a sleeping bag. He watched Bond settle everything, and muttered :
"You're stupid, Bond. really stupid, but I forgive you, I suppose."
And he was not supposed to say that. He was supposed to be angry at Bond for almost getting himself killed. Damn.
A pair of hands found their way to his hips and Bond whispered :
"I hoped so."
The agent rested his forehead against Q's.
"Bond" Q warned "I don't kiss on the first date."
James laughed again, and lead him to the sleeping bag. Once Q was inside it, Bond said :
"You don't kiss, Q, but I do."
Every form of protest Q could have - "this is RAPE, Bond ! You can't kiss me without my consent, I'm going to change your ringtone to Justin Bieber, I hate you, go away, and hide your collarbones, damn it" - was forgotten when Bond placed a small kiss on Q's forehead and stroked his cheek with his thumb.
oOo
When Bond entered the lab in the morning, he found Q busy talking to the CIA.
"007, that's for you."
The assistant, Celia or Cecilia or whatever, handed him a box and left. His gun was inside. The note on the top of it said "It was about damn time. Q has been drooling over you for weeks. Next time, though, bring cupcakes, he loves them."
Bond made a mental note to ask M if this Cecilia girl could have some sort of promotion, and left the lab. He put on his earpiece and got in his car.
"I'm on my way to the airport, Q."
The only answer was a high-pitched voice singing "My little pony, I used to wonder what friendship could be …."
He looked into his pocket for the remote and realized he didn't know where he had left it.
