Disclaimer: The usual, I still don't own it. Never have, probably never will.
AN: Ok, I know I said it would be a while between updates and here I am again already with another one. Consider yourselves lucky I guess. I don't know what else to tell ya. Thank you all of you who have favorited, followed, and reviewed. It means a lot.
Speaking of reviews. Eve, congratulations on having my longest review to date on any of my stories. Thank you so much for it. I wish there was a way to PM you because you brought up a lot of valid points and things that I would like to respond to, but it would take all day. Don't take Maura's relationship with Jack too seriously. I see it as more of a distraction for her from the fact that she loves Jane and is just afraid to commit. As far as Jane goes, she will still have a lot of questions and hopefully this chapter will make that a little more clear.
Also, to the guest reviewer who said this is lame, thank you. I laughed quite a bit at your review. That was not the end of the story my good reader and frankly I think you should keep the idea of "you know what happens when you assume" in mind before you start saying that every author makes Maura end up alone while Jane is happy with someone else. Read some of my other stories if you think that. But to each their own I guess. I do hope you will keep reading the story to see where I am going with it.
Thank you all! Now back to the reading. Enjoy!
"You can't hide down here forever," the words startled Maura from her reading of an autopsy report. She tensed slightly and looked over at the doorway where the voice came from. Quickly though, she returned to the report on the computer in front of her.
Jane scoffed a little and sighed. It had been days since their run-in at Merch and Maura had been trying to avoid her as much as possible since then; which wasn't easy since they did have crime scenes where they had interact. Personally though, Maura had been giving her the silent treatment. She couldn't believe Maura was really acting this way. She had no right to try and think she was the injured party in all of this. She had tried to open herself to Maura, to and get them to take the next step and have an actual relationship and Maura had bailed on her. Then, Maura shows up at Merch.
Jane stepped inside Maura's office and closed the door behind her. "You owe me, at the very least, an explanation." She tried to sound cool and collected, but anger was starting to leech out into her words. She stood there waiting, her arms crossed over her chest.
Maura just sat behind her desk. She knew Maura would probably be a little upset after Merch, but she hadn't expected her to act like this. The truth was Abby was just a friend. They had gone to high school together, though at that time they weren't in the same group of friends.
After Maura had walked away from her, she was hurt and didn't really know where to turn or who she could talk to about it. So, one night she had gone to Merch. She wasn't sure why exactly, but she went. She had run into Abby there and they had started talking. Abby had listened to what she had to say and helped her work out some things she needed to figure out.
Sometime later in the night Abby had confessed she'd had a crush on her and then asked her out. She politely refused, but the woman wouldn't take no for an answer. She had asked her all week to go out on Friday and since she didn't want to be alone on what would have normally been her night with Maura she had reluctantly agreed. Jane had just gone to get another round of drinks and to tell Abby that she didn't return the same kind of feelings she bumped into Maura.
Maura still hadn't spoken. Jane could tell by now that she was just staring at the screen waiting to see what would happen next. She decided to try a different approach. "You said you were about to head to my apartment and you started to say something before you were interrupted. What was it? Why were you going to go to my apartment?"
Maura looked away from the computer screen and met her eyes. Jane could see the emotion in her eyes. There was a part of Maura ready to break down and talk, but another part was being so stubborn. Jane slowly walked over to Maura's desk. She uncrossed her arms and leaned over placing her hands on the edge of the desk.
"Tell me," Jane pleaded. "Whatever it was you had to say, just tell me, please."
Maura looked at her still. Tears were starting to form in her eyes. How could she tell Jane now? How could she tell her that that night she had realized she was in love with her only to find out she had already moved on? How could she tell her that she loved her so much, no matter if she was with someone else, she had broken it off with Jack the next day telling him she was in love with someone else.
"I ca- can't," Maura choked out with her voice cracking. Tears now started to make their way down her face. She hated the fact that she was now crying in front of Jane.
It tugged on Jane's heart to see Maura crying like that. Even if they were arguing about something Maura was still her best friend and she hated to see her upset. She stood and rounded Maura's desk. Maura now had her face in her hands and was trying to ignore the fact that Jane was still present in the room with her. Jane pulled the chair back slightly and pulled Maura up so she was standing. Jane wrapped the smaller woman in her arms.
"You can tell me anything Maur. You're my best friend, and my best friend and the woman I fell in love with always used to be able to tell me anything." Jane placed a light kiss on the top her head as she held on just a little bit tighter trying to give Maura some kind of comfort.
Hearing those words only made Maura sob harder into Jane's shoulder; Jane had fallen in love with her. She wondered how long ago Jane knew that she was in love. She wished at that moment she had figured out sooner that she loved Jane too and she could have saved herself this heartache. They could be planning a date instead of standing here trying to figure out what was really going on between them.
Sobs wracked her body for a few more minutes. All the while Jane stood there holding her. She rubbed her hands up and down her back and whispered words of comfort saying that everything would be alright. Maura couldn't believe she had been such a fool to give up a chance with a woman as wonderful as Jane.
Finally, Maura broke their embrace. She put a few steps between them so she could grab a tissue from the box on her desk to try her eyes. She noticed that Jane slid her hands into her pockets, suddenly looking uncomfortable.
Maura knew that she needed to say something to Jane. She knew that she needed to tell her what was going on and what had been the cause of her breaking down like that, but she just didn't know how to put it into words. She could explain what feelings were, she could explain what a lot of things were, but it had always been hard for her to explain her feelings.
"I'm sorry," she managed to get out. Aside from the apology she had intended to give Jane the night she saw her at Merch there were only three other words she wanted to say, but she couldn't bring herself to say them.
Jane looked up at her, catching her eyes when she heard the apology. Her face was expressionless though and Maura had no idea what she might be thinking. Then she had an idea. If she couldn't get herself to say the words that she was feeling maybe she could show Jane how she felt.
She closed the distance between them once again and leaned in capturing Jane's lips with her own. It was different than the ones they shared on their Friday nights together. Those times they were hungry and insistent with only one thing in mind. This time though Maura kissed her sweetly, trying to pour all of the love that she felt for Jane into the kiss.
She felt Jane melt into the kiss and her heart started to beat even faster than it was already. It only lasted for a moment before Jane pulled away and broke the kiss.
"We can't keep doing this," Jane said once there was some distance between them again. "We can't just end up right back in the same place we were before. I love you, but that's not where I want to end up Maur. I want more. I asked you to give me more and you walked away. I came down here and asked you to give me some kind of explanation. At first you say you can't and then fall apart crying. Then I get an "I'm sorry" and you're kissing me again. I just can't Maur."
With that she turned and headed out of the office. Well, that plan had gone brilliantly Maura thought. She knew now that she was going to have to just come out and tell Jane how she felt. She needed to make her see. She knew that it might be a long shot by now that they could have a relationship together, but she had to at least tell her. She just needed to find the best way to do it.
Thank you for reading and sticking with me on this story. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I will hopefully be back with another one soon. I look forward to that time. And, as always, I'd love to hear what you think!
