Chapter 3: It's Only Logical

"Jim!" Spock and I pushed each other off and turned to the door to see McCoy standing there in shock. "Bones, i-i-it's" Before I could finish my sentence Bones was out the door and down the hall. I went after him afraid of what might be going through his mind. I felt terrible leaving Spock there alone in my quarters but, I couldn't help myself to run after McCoy.

When I turned the corner I saw Bones walking towards his office when I ran after him, grabbed his shoulder, and spun him around to face me. "Bones!" He looked at me with shock, surprise, and disbelief. "J-Jim," "Bones" We started to ease up and relax before McCoy lead me to his office to talk. "Bones look-" "You don't need to say anything," he started to laugh, it through me off guard. "What?" he started to howl in laughter and bent over holding his stomach as his face turned bright red. I was starting to think that the doctor had gone crazy. "Bones?" "I'm, I'm, hahaha, I'm sorry," he was still giggling when he stood up and went around his desk to sit in his chair. "Bones, are you alright?" he had stopped laughing but the grin on his face looked like it was plastered on. "I'm fine Jim, I'm just, well surprised," he started to giggle again. "Bones I'm serious, what's so funny?" he looked at me as his smile started to disapear and return back to that grim line we all came to recognize. "Jim, what's funny is Spock," "Spock, why?" "Really?" "Yes Bones what is so funny?" just as he was about to answer we heard the door open with a swish and footsteps were on their way to Bones' desk. We both stopped talking and looked up to see Spock standing there in his straight posture with red around his eyes. His eyes were trying to show no emotion, but I could see hurt. Why? "Captain, may I request shore leave, on my home planet?" "Spock, what is the matter?" "Capta-" "Jim," "Jim, I-you remember what I said?" he seemed to lower his voice and hide away from Bones. McCoy left the room without a word knowing that the conversation was meant to be private. "About what?" "Abou-about, about t'hy'la farr?" I relaxed a huge deal, I have no idea why. He looked at me with determination in his eyes and fear? "Spock, will you, I mean for us humans, love is something that we embrace, and it feels like you don't embrace it enough," "I'm sorry Cap-I mean Jim, can you explain?" "Your non-emotions, now I can understand it when it comes to work, but when we are alone, I'm asking if, if you'll embrace the human side of you," he seemed to hesitate before answering I guess he wasn't ready for a question like that. "Jim, I am a vulcan, and vulcans do not show emotion," I turned away afraid of his next words. And I was going to scream when he interupted my thoughts. "But," I turned around to face him. "I am also human, and my human side is harder to conceal when such emotions are brought to my attention. Meditation doesn't help, and it pulls at my logic every time I," "Everytime you what, Spock?" "Everytime, I see you, Captain," At this point our proximity had decreased and we were so close that feeling was a few inches away. "Spock, I-I love you, but I'm afraid you'll never be there," "Jim, I have said before that I have and always shall be your friend, but I don't want to be friends," I furrowed my eyebrows from confusion. "I want us to be more, I embrace you and your ideas and very much enjoy your company, I am what you humans might call 'in love' with you," I was going to burst into tears right there because Spock had said that he loved me, even if those weren't his exact words. "Spock I-" before I could finish my sentence I was interupted again but, this time with the feeling of Spock's lips against mine once again. He pulled away staring into my eyes before straightening his posture and speaking again. "We need to be at Vulcan in two solar days if we are to make it to the ceremony," I looked at him and started to smile. "I would appreciate that you wear your best uniform along with Dr. McCoy," with that he turned his heel and left.

Bones was allowed to come, I smiled from the thought thst Spock was allowing Bones to come see a ceremeony that was very, private. I bet Bones wouldn't mind, hell I think he'd be more excited to go then Spock and I. When Spock left the room Bones walked back in with his eyebrow raised waiting for a explanation, a question, something. "Jim?" "Bones, you are going to be taking some shore leave with us," "Jim I just had shore leave last month, Starfleet wouldn't" "That's an order, we'll say that I am under medical surveillance after falling and hitting my head," Bones looked at me with even more confusion. He put his hands behind his back and loked down slightly before looking up at me again with his eyebrow still raised. "Bones, you need to attend a ceremony of a sort," "Now I don't know how Spock feels abo-" "Feel? Jim, what the blazes are we getting into exactly?" "Well, you are going to be attending a ceremony, while me and Mr. Spock will be, will be," "Will be what?" "Will be i-in the ceremony," "In the ceremony? Jim what are you talking about?" "I'm not entirely sure but, from what I've heard it's like a mar-marriage," "Marriage?!" Bones nearly fell back he was stunned. He caught himself on his desk and sat back down in his chair. "Y-yes," "Jim, are you sure you want to do this?" "Bones you know me better than anybody besides Spock, and you know that this all I've ever wanted," "But Jim, is it what Spock wants?" "Spock shows no emotion, he's a Vulcan, but in the recent time that we have been trying to figure out why he has been ignoring his duties, he has shown not only emotion but an attraction to me," "Basically like a highschool crush," "Well not exactly but, in the same sense," Bones shook hid head lightly with a grin on his face, arms crossed, and eyes focused on me. I was pacing back in forth in front of McCoy's desk to calm my nerves, I was so excited. I looked up to see McCoy was now beginning to laugh again. "Bones what the devil is so funny?" "You Jim, haha, I would've never thought that I'd see you get married," He quoted the married part with his fingers and stood up from his chair and made his away to my side. "And frankly I'm not sure how I feel about it, happy or nervous," "Why would you be nervous?" "Well worst case scenario you get married and realize that Spock will not show his appreciation and emotion as often as you'd like, causing a problem. Best case scenario you get married to the love of your life and Spock and you live a life on the Enterprise happier than any men I know," "Well Bones, I appreciate what you're trying to say and I understand, but this is Spock. I know he's not going to show emotion as often as I'd like but, I've accepted that and enjoy the times he does even more," I smiled to Bones before giving him a pat on the shoulder. "Well Jim if it's what you want, who am I to stop you," "Thank you Bones now make sure to be ready and wear your best uniform," "Alright Jim now go," "Alright," with that I gave him a nod before leaving the sickbay and heading to the bridge to complete the rest of my tasks for the day.

The rest of the day was pretty normal. I set a course for Vulcan and continued to do my job supervising the crew. Spock finished his duties on the bridge and spent most of his day in his quarters. What is he doing in there? Probably getting ready for the ceremony or meditating. Whew! "Sickbay to Captain Kirk," "Yes Bones what is it?" "You better get down here quick," "Bones what's the matter?" "It's Spock again," I jumped out of my chair and ran for the lift as Sulu took command of the Kon. What happened? I thought he was in his quarters. What could've happened? I ran out of the lift and sped down the hallway as fast as I could to sickbay. I raced in to see Bones hovering a medical tool over Spock's chest. He looked like he was sleeping. I paced over to his side and looked to Bones for an answer. "Jim, I don't know what happened," "What do you mean?" "He came in to talk to me about the ceremony when all of a sudden he collapsed. His blood pressure is low, and his heart is beatinf slower than normal," "Well what can you do for it?" "For now he's stabilized, but I'd keep an eye on him, in case he escapes, again," "Bones do you know what happened to him?" "I don't know Jim, I'd ask him but, he's knocked out, and that I don't have a reason for," "Bones, could this accident be a result of this ceremony?" "Can a wedding cause physical damage, I mean you could piss off the bride and get a bruise or two but, other than that I don't believe so," "He said that he needed to get to Vulcan as fast as he could, that it was like Pon Farr all over again," "Jim, his body isn't showing the same chaos as it was 7 years ago," "Well it has to be related!" Bones looked at me with sympathy in his eyes before walking over and putting his hand on my shoulder for comfort. "Jim, I'm sorry I don't know what to tell you, he's simply out of it, if he wakes up you'll be the first to know," "Alright Bones, take care of him," "I will," I looked at Spock and squeezed his hand before leaving the sickbay to the bridge.

On my way to the bridge I passed Spock's quarters. My curiosity go the best of me and so I walked in to Spock's room to investigate, maybe the reason he collapsed was in this room. I walked in to see his usual set up. The tri-dimensional chess board was on his table with the pieces moved across the board. He was playing chess by himself. Beside his chess board a transmitting tape was on the table. I walked over cautiously and picked up and observed it. It was a transmission from yesterday. I put it in my pocket and headed for my quarters to investigate further.

I walked in to my quarters and sat behind my desk where I inserted the transmission in to the computer. "Computer, this is Captain James T. Kirk," "Identity confirmed," "Please translate and relay this transmission," "Working," I waited patiently for the computer to read the transmission and translate for it to read the message to me. "Hello Spock," It was Amanda's voice, Spock's mother. "Hello mother, I am here to inform you that I will be returning to Vulcan for a breif period," "Really? Oh I'm so excited," "Captain Kirk will also be accompanying me," "Spock what's wrong?" "Nothing is wrong mother, but my logic is not clear at the moment," Spock's voice was sounding shakey, was he nervous? Probably was, I don't remember the last time his mother and he talked. "Spock, it's ok to be a little anxious, even if you won't admit it," "I appreciate your words, but do not understand," "Of course you don't, well Spock why are you visiting Vulcan it's been 7 years and you have no reason to return," "Mother my last leave on Vulcan was during the Pon Farr surely you know," "Oh Spock I know, but you don't have a wife anymore, your plak-tow should be non-existent," "M-mother, you are aware that plak-tow comes under those of us who find someone that best fits their needs," "You have a crush on someone?!" Amanda seemed a little too giddy, I bet Spock was really embarrassed about that. "Oh that's great honey who is she?" "Well mother, if you must know, it's not a female," "Oh, well who is he?" "He is the man accompanying me," "Kirk!" I started to blush ferociously hearing my name yelled by Amanda. She was such a sweet lady. "Mother if you can refrain from yelling his name that would be greatly appreciated," "I'm sorry Spock, I'm just so excited, so you want me to set up the ceremony?" "That was the top priority I had in mind when I contacted you," "Oh ok, I will don't worry, did you want to speak to your father?" "No mother I have other work to do on the ship before my leave, I will see you," "Alright bye Spock," "Transmission completed," "Thank you computer, that'll be all," I pulled out the transmission tape and stared at it for a few moments before being startled by the speaker beside me. Whew! "Sickbay to Captain Kirk," "Yeah Bones, how's Spock?" "He's waking up," "I'll be right there," I zipped through the corridors to sickbay where Spock was sitting up talking to Bones. "Hey Bones, Spock," "Captain," "Spock what happened?" "I collapsed due to lack of sleep and malnourishment," "Dammit Spock, if that was the case then you're heart wouldn't be this slow, and your blood pressure wouldn't be this low!" "True doctor, in the event if it was a human, I however am a Vulcan our bodies are not the same," "Have I ever told you how much you piss me off?" "Yes, on many occasions doctor," "So Spock, you're alright?" "Yes Captain I am well," "Why haven't you been sleeping or eating?" "In the unfortunate events of the past few weeks I have become distant and while trying to seperate these issues and deal with them accordingly I had simply forgotten to eat and sleep," "What the hell Spock, you of all people would do that," Spock looked to Dr. McCoy with an eyebrow raised before getting up and heading to the bathroom to change into his uniform. "I swear sometimes I just want to ring his neck," "Well Bones, we can't have that now can we?" "Yeah, yeah, alright I guess he's fine, but I'll keep him under medical surveillance until we arrive at Vulcan," "Alright Bones, see you later," with the satisfaction of Spock being okay, and Bones aggravated I left to put back the tape I took from Spock's room and headed for the bridge.