III

Eita Kyuando felt a pang of déjà vu as he saw the two beams of light before him. It felt a little bit like week-old school lunch, he would think later on. But right now, every last neuron in his brain was sputtering in utter horror.

No, no, no! he kept thinking over and over. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening! Only he … that idiot boy … had ever been able to pull off this kind of Summoning before! Eita had seen the footage a hundred times over, and a hundred times again. He knew everything there was to know about Pendulum Monsters, and he knew that no one else in the city—no, the entire world—was capable of this!

The two monsters within the lights, Eita saw, were moving to a point directly over Q. The smaller one—Qliphort Tool—docked with a burst of sparks on top of the circular Qliphort Disk, which was now diving straight down, appearing now as a perfect circle to Eita. On either side of the combined entity, the spiky shapes of the numbers 1 and 9 flickered into being.

"With these two cards in play as they are," Q was saying, "I can now Special Summon as many monsters in my hand or Extra Deck as I wish, as long as their Levels range from 2 to 8. And those monsters will be: Qliphort Genome, Qliphort Archive, and Qliphort Shell!"

The amalgamation that was Disk and Tool began to glow, and the energy of a huge portal shimmered on its surface. And the pang of déjà vu only worsened for Eita as he saw the familiar, gigantic mechanical forms of the three monsters emerging from that portal, each one looking more menacing than the last as they loomed over the field.

But there was something odd about all this, and it took a second for Eita to understand. Of course, he thought—they were Special Summoned! That meant—he was safe! No matter what happened, he could think of a comeback for this. And there was his Sphin-Quiz' effect as well, he thought gleefully.

He grinned—he could still beat this computer.

"That's right," Q told him—almost as if the supercomputer was reading his mind. "Their Levels will become 4, and their ATK 1800. Additionally, however, if I have Qliphort Disk in my Pendulum Zone, all Qliphort monsters I control will gain 300 ATK." The displays above all three monsters, true to Q's word, showed each one at 2100 ATK.

"That is only 6300 points of potential damage," said Q. "Even if your field was clear, I would not be able to end this Duel this turn. But … there's one thing you're forgetting: all of these monsters were Special Summoned—and I still have my one Normal Summon to use this turn."

Eita gulped. Qliphort monsters gained their strength through Releasing monsters to Summon them, he remembered. And Q had three monsters just ready for exactly that one thing.

"First, I will activate the Pendulum effect of my Qliphort Tool," declared Q. "By paying 800 of my LP, I can add one Qliphort card from my Deck to my hand." The LP counter appeared over his head, showing Q's Life Points dropping from 2000 to 1200 as he retrieved his chosen card. "And now—I will Release all three of my monsters to summon this!"

Eita was flabbergasted. A triple-Release monster?! He'd never seen one of those being Summoned before with his own eyes, and with good reason—there were only a handful of those monsters in the entire game!

"Specify parameters for Release," recited Q yet again. "Level 4, Qliphort Genome; Level 4, Qliphort Shell; Level 4, Qliphort Archive; exception T-3!" His three monsters were consumed in lightning and fire.

Q looked absolutely deranged as he continued to chant. "System override alpha!" he cried. "Energy output now at maximum design limit! Parameters! Accepted! Initiate resident program: Release Summon!"

Eita felt the ground begin to shake, and he noticed some of the cubes of the Action Field were beginning to drift higher and higher. The platforms suspended in midair were also soaring high of their own accord—almost.

Because it looked to Eita that they weren't simply flying—they were falling. Whatever was coming was altering the gravity of this Action Field in some way, and everything in the digital space that wasn't bolted down, save for both Duelists, was falling towards that something.

Suddenly, one of the cubes smashed through the ceiling of the Quiz Frontier, then one more, and three more. Cracks spread throughout the digital field where they had broken through, and it began to crumble—and the pieces, too, began to tumble upwards towards—a clear blue sky?!

Eita blinked. No, he hadn't been seeing things; he had indeed caught a glimpse of the sky outside. But that was impossible, he thought. They were inside an enclosed space that had no windows in its roof. He stared at Q. Was he altering the Solid Vision somehow—perhaps even hacking it?

Then he saw something move beyond the disintegrating Quiz Frontier, and forgot all about Q. A vast mechanical torso, silver-gray and gold in color, and dwarfing any skyscraper within Maiami City, was descending from the sky. Four thick, spider-like legs that had to have been miles in height jutted out from the behemoth.

Shouts and cries of shock could be heard from the audience as the new arrival continued to float downward to the remains of the field. Once or twice, someone screamed. But no one was more thunderstruck than Eita Kyuando: he had simply never seen a monster that gigantic in his life.

"Appear now, my greatest avatar!" Q proclaimed. "Level 10, Apoqliphort Killer!"

Eita recovered enough from his shock to see the display above this new monster: "ATK 3000/DEF 2600." Immediately, he felt his knees weaken—he didn't have anything strong enough to deal with this monster. He could only hope that Sphin-Quiz could hold him out long enough to find some form of removal.

"Battle Phase." said Q. He was no longer shouting, but the manic look in his eye had not disappeared. "Apoqliphort Killer, attack his last Quiz Monkey."

"Like I'd let that happen!" laughed Kyuando—he'd fallen right for it. "Sphin-Quiz's effect activates when a "Quiz" monster is targeted for an attack—and now you must answer this question: which of the monsters on the field right now has the highest Level?" He held up a finger. "If you answer incorrectly, the Battle Phase will end, and my Quiz Monkey will be safe. And if you answer correctly"—he paused here for dramatic effect—"then that monster with the highest Level will be destroyed, and its controller will take damage equal to its ATK!"

He couldn't resist any longer: Eita threw his head back and cackled like a hyena—he'd done it, he'd won! He knew that Q's programming bound him to answer any question put to him correctly. Finally, at long last, Eita Kyuando had been able to turn that knowledge against him.

"Are all of your Quiz Duels so imbalanced?" Q said dryly.

"Don't—hee hee hee—blame me!" Eita guffawed, wiping a tear from his eye. "I'm just in charge—ha ha ha—of the show, not the—ahahahaha—not the script!"

Q closed his eyes. "Very well. My answer is Apoqliphort Killer, with a Level of 10."

This only made Eita laugh harder. "You're never going to learn, are you?" he howled with glee. "Sphin-Quiz, show this stubborn little fool that knowledge is Number One! Destroy his monster, and finish him off once and for all!"

Lightning snaked up the statue's pyramid, arcing straight for the mechanical giant—

—and bounced off.

Eita froze in mid-laugh, his mouth so wide open at the undamaged monster that it looked as though he'd just gotten lockjaw. "How?" he whispered. "How is that possible?!" he screeched at Q.

"'You're never going to learn, are you?'" Q demanded, echoing Eita's own words. "Qliphort monsters cannot be affected by the effects of monsters whose Levels are lower than theirs, remember? And my Apoqliphort Killer takes it one step further. It is immune to the effects of not only every monster with a lower level—but of all Spells and Traps as well!"

Eita felt as if a heavy weight had just been swung into his face. All Spells and Traps?

"Do not take this too personally … Eita-kun," said Q with a daring smile, indicating the immense monster above him with a sweep of his hand. "You are looking at one of the most powerful cards that Duel Monsters has ever seen. The Duelist has yet to be born who can beat this monster—and that Duelist will not be you!

"Killer—continue with your assault!" Q commanded, virtually frothing at the mouth. "Apocalypse Cannon Blast!"

Gun turrets—hundreds of them—appeared from hidden compartments all over the monster. Every single one of them trained their sights on Quiz Monkey, who howled and shrieked as he tried to get away—but to no avail. The diminutive monkey was vaporized by laser fire, and Eita felt himself propelled back by the shockwave of the shellacking. He collided painfully against the floor.

"I now activate another effect of Apoqliphort Killer," declared Q, once the display showing Eita's LP at 6500 had faded from view. "Once per turn, I can make you send 1 monster from your hand or your field to the Graveyard."

Eita's eyes bugged when he suddenly realized he had nothing in his hand—not even an expendable monster. No!

"Very well," he growled. "I send Sphin-Quiz to my Graveyard." And instantly, the monster was vaporized.

Q smirked. "I end my turn with that."

Eita grimaced. He might have more than five times the amount of LP as Q possessed, but the mere appearance of Killer had instantly put him on the defensive. He needed a good draw yesterday.

He closed his eyes, breathed in, and … "Draw!"

Eita looked at the card he'd just drawn, and almost whooped in satisfaction—this could just be enough to keep him alive! "If my opponent controls a monster while I control no monsters," he explained, "I can Special Summon Quiz Model from my hand in Defense Position!"

He did, and a very shapely woman wearing a slim magenta dress, a pink feather boa, and a very soppy look on her face materialized onto the field, under the display "Level 2: ATK 0/DEF 0".

"And if that's how I Special Summon this lovely lady," Eita added, blowing a kiss at the woman—which only made her smile all the more sickeningly sweet to look at—"I can Special Summon as many 'Quiz' monsters as possible from my Graveyard, in Defense Position!"

A cloud of white smoke and confetti burst out from around the Model as she performed a flashy pose, and dissipated to reveal a trio of monsters; two Quiz Monkeys, and his Sphin-Quiz. All of them—even Sphin-Quiz, bizarrely enough—were bug-eyed and babbling at the sight of the Quiz Model. One of the Quiz Monkeys was even drooling.

"You know what they say," Eita snickered, as he ended his turn, "the show must go on! And as long as I have these monsters on my field, I can keep this show going and the questions coming until the end of time!" He cackled.

Q blinked as he drew. "I activate the last effect of Apoqliphort Killer," he responded. "While it remains on the field, all Special Summoned monsters have their ATK and DEF lowered by 500."

Eita snorted. That wasn't so bad; most of his monsters were already at 0 in both regards—but Sphin-Quiz was not, and Eita didn't even need to look at the display to see that it was getting weaker. Indeed, it had shrunk to roughly his height, and looked about as imposing as the average housecat right now.

"Now!" Q called. "Remember how my monsters send themselves to the Extra Deck instead of the Graveyard?" He smiled. "Initiate resident program! Pendulum Summon!"

Eita tensed: it was happening again. This time, two more monsters were Summoned either side of Killer as the portal behind it expanded with energy: the long, flat Archive, and the thin, warped Genome. Both their displays read "Level 4: ATK 1600/DEF 500."

"And then," continued Q, "I Release them both for my Normal Summon."

A double-Release Summon … Eita felt as though he should be looking for some Action Cards right about now. But with the extent of the damage to this field, looking for one would be next to impossible!

"Specify parameters for Release," Q chanted yet again, as the two monsters he'd Pendulum Summoned disappeared in a flash of flame. "Level 4, Qliphort Genome; Level 4, Qliphort Archive. Parameters accepted. Initiate resident program: Release Summon. Specify: Level 8, Qliphort Shell."

The spiky, silver-green, conch-shaped machine that Eita had seen once before descended next to Apoqliphort Killer, this time boasting an impressive display of "Level 8: ATK 3100/DEF 1000".

"Now," Q explained, "When Qliphort Archive is Released, I can target one monster on the field, and return it to the hand—for instance, that Sphin-Quiz on your field."

The orb inside the eye of Qliphort Shell fired a blast of orange light at Sphin-Quiz, causing it to retreat back into its card form. But Eita, despite growling at the loss of his field advantage, was still not worried as he added Sphin-Quiz back into his hand—he had more monsters than Q did; he could still survive.

"Battle Phase." Q declared coldly. "When Qliphort Shell is Summoned by releasing a Qliphort monster, and if it destroys a Defense Position monster by battle, it can inflict piercing damage—and attack once again."

Eita felt that cold sweat running down his neck again, as his mind processed what was about to happen. He took one look up—and up—at the towering monsters opposite him: a 3000 ATK monster that could shrug off everything save the most powerful of attacks and effects … and a 3100 ATK double-attacking piercer who looked dead-set on whittling his LP down to skin and bones.

And he ran.

I need an Action Card—now! Eita thought frantically. And even then … I don't—!

"Qliphort Shell, attack his first Quiz Monkey," commanded Q. "Lock on target."

"Quiz Monkey's effect activates!" Eita countered, still running, turning over debris in the hopes of finding his last saving grace.

"It's useless!" Q called back.

"Wrong answer! Quiz Model's effect activates!" Eita replied derisively—even though he knew Q had a point. "I banish Start the Clock! from my Graveyard to return her to my hand! You—are—incorrect!" he shrieked, hurling the words like knives at Q as Quiz Model did a cartwheel and catapulted herself, card and all, back into Eita's hand. "Quiz Monkey! Do your worst!"

Which, inevitably, was exactly what happened. The spikes on Qliphort Shell crackled with lightning as Quiz Monkey rushed for it. That lightning flashed, and thunder pealed with a deafening report. Very little of the monkey remained to hit the floor. But the lightning was still coming—straight for Eita.

The pain wasn't as excruciating as he thought it would be—if anything, a detached part of his mind thought as he screamed from the onslaught, it was worse. Eita didn't even see the display of his LP falling to 3400, his body was wracked with so much agony.

Q smiled. "Qliphort Shell … lock on target."

Eita couldn't even move from the pain. "Quiz Monkey … activates its effect," he managed to gasp out.

And just at the edge of his hearing, he heard Q answer back, "Zero."

Eita Kyuando sighed—it was at this moment, perhaps, that he'd realized he was finally beaten. "You're … correct," he whispered. He steeled his body for the worst, knowing his other Quiz Monkey was as good as destroyed by now, and the attack would come at any time—

But when it did, his nerves were already so numb from that first attack that the second one, he thought, genuinely didn't feel so bad. The only thing Eita could feel, in fact, was his body sliding along the floor from the force of the lightning barrage as his LP diminished to a scant 300.

When it was over, he opened his eyes—and saw a gleam of light barely ten feet away from him. He gasped in pain—and disbelief—as he realized what it was.

Could it be?

Nothing else but the gleam of an Action Card could have given Eita the resolve to stand up. He tottered toward the card, half buried under a crumpled platform.

Please, let it be, he thought over and over. Please let it be … He picked up the card—

And his heart sank.

The Action Trap 1000 of Science fluttered from his hand to the ground, and Eita Kyuando felt all his strength leave him as he sank to his knees, shaking violently.

There was nothing more he could do. It was all over.

Q, for all his behavior, ultimately remained as emotionless as any computer. "Apoqliphort Killer," he said, his voice flatter and softer than ever before, "lock on target."

And Eita's world exploded in light and fire.


The entire arena was silent as the Action Field was dispelled, the Duel concluded. No one dared to move or speak at what had just taken place before their eyes.

The CDS principal was agog in shock. 6500 points of damage in one turn, out of 9200 points of potential damage … he had never seen a Duel take such a brutal turn of events. His eyes flitted back and forth from Q—no longer the near double of Eita Kyuando, and now just a blank, featureless slab—to the Akabas. Himika still wore her smile, but her face was slightly paler than her makeup could conceal, and somehow the principal knew that even she had not anticipated this.

And finally, Reiji's face was utterly devoid of emotion. He stared, unblinking, unmoving, at Eita's spread-eagled form with a gaze that could have implied anything from appreciation to pity … or a total lack thereof.

The principal cleared his throat hesitantly. "Y-your winner today," he managed to say, "with 1200 remaining Life Points—and I must say, one of the most … engaging Duels this School has ever hosted—is the supercomputer Q."

Silence. No one paid any attention to the pair of burly suits wheeling Q's mainframe away and out the door. The principal could tell every single student's eye was trained on Eita Kyuando, who still had yet to stand up on his feet as a pair of medics rushed to his side. Fortunately, he looked to still be breathing—the head of CDS suspected his injuries were not so serious on his body, per se.

But Eita's pride, on the other hand, had taken a terrible blow today—perhaps even worse than the one inflicted by the prodigy of You Show. He was going to need some serious counseling after this, the principal was sure—and that would be hard enough.

But suddenly, he heard a noise—like someone was … clapping?

He whirled around, trying to find where it was coming from. It wasn't hard to find; the source was none other than Reiji Akaba. His face was still as impassive as before, but his hands were politely applauding.

Soon Himika joined in, and a few members of the staff. Then all of them began to clap, and within moments the entire arena was ringing with the sounds of applause.

The principal smiled as he watched Eita weakly raise up his hands, in acknowledgement of the fanfare—muted, to be sure, but no less welcomed after everything the young boy had been through today.

As Eita was carried off by the medics, the principal turned to look back at the Akabas, thinking he ought to have a word with them about the safety protocols that—he'd been informed—were supposedly integrated into Q's body.

But the thought died in his mind when he saw that they were nowhere to be seen.


One hour later

Eita's injuries, however, proved to be little more serious than a good few bruises and scrapes, although the trauma caused by Qliphort Shell's attack had left his body severely weakened as a result. The school nurse had already prescribed fluids and bed rest until at least tomorrow morning, and it would be a matter of days, perhaps even weeks, before they said Eita would be ready to walk and Duel under his own power.

They might as well have pronounced the end of his career at CDS, Eita thought. Having to remain in hospital for this long—he'd be missing classes, schoolwork, Dueling—he banged his head against the pillow, feeling the whoompf noise as his head connected with the sterile white fluff again and again.

One of the nurses came by at that moment. "Eita-kun, please don't do that," she said, her voice somewhat less gentle than it was firm. "You're not going to improve much faster that way."

Eita could only grumble at her.

"You have a visitor, by the way," she said, smiling. "I've already shown him in. I'll leave you two to talk."

Eita watched her leave from the side of his bed, not at all feeling like talking to anyone right now—but the visitor, whoever he was, had already made his way inside. Eita was prepared to squeeze his eyes shut and pretend he was asleep—and then he saw, with a jolt, the red threads of the scarf, either side of the shoes before him.

"Come to laugh at me, too?" Eita grumbled, heaving a sigh in his pillow. "It's not like I can blame you."

"Actually," the voice of Reiji Akaba said, "I wanted to congratulate you, Eita-sama." He held out a hand. "Walk with me."

Feeling like he had little choice, Eita obeyed, and grasped the CEO's palm. They were out of the clinic in seconds.

"I put both Q and its deck through some very rigorous stress testing," Reiji spoke up after a while, while Eita limped alongside him, "before any of this event was made possible. Q had Dueled every single man and woman on the LDS staff before today. Would you like to know the numbers?"

In truth, Eita wasn't sure if he wanted anything to do with numbers right now. But he nodded anyway.

"Ninety-one percent win rate," answered Reiji. "Zero duels, win or lose, lasting five turns or more." He looked Eita square in the eye. "And you lasted twice as long as every single one of them."

The boy genius was stunned. Did Reiji Akaba—the Reiji Akaba—just tell him he had lasted longer against that brutal Deck than every single member of the LDS staff?

Regardless, however, the truth of the matter was still as clear as day. "I … I still lost," he said. "And all those questions I answered … it was all for nothing." He hardened his hand into a fist. "But Q only made two correct guesses. Why didn't he … "

Reiji stopped walking, and knelt down beside him. "Mr. Kyuando," he said, "Eita. The most valuable piece of knowledge you can ever have is knowing when to use it."

Knowing when to use … knowledge?

And at that moment, Eita Kyuando felt the sensation of a light bulb flicking on in his brain.

If it were not for the limitations of his body right now, he would certainly have leapt high into the air at that point. Because at that point—though even he could not quite explain why—he knew.

There were no more words necessary from there on out. Reiji Akaba spent just enough time to take Eita back to the clinic, shook his hand, and left without a word.


Himika Akaba was waiting for Reiji outside the school clinic. She fell in with him as soon as he'd said farewell to Eita.

"Sometimes I forget you're so young," she mused out loud. "That was very mature of you." She turned to regard her son. "Although I couldn't help but notice you left out the real reason you commissioned Q's construction—and that Deck."

Her eyes narrowed. "Yuya Sakaki?"

"Hmph. That can wait," Reiji said coolly. "Besides, did you see the way he was walking?"

"I tend not to notice that with people his age," answered Himika, her voice drier than her favorite martini.

Reiji sniffed. "You jest," he replied, looking back towards the hospital wing, "but I'd say he learned something today that no quiz on Earth could ever teach him."

His phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket. "Yes?" he asked.

Nakajima's voice came through on the other end of the line. "Akaba-san, your car is waiting outside," he said dutifully.

"Thank you, Nakajima," he answered his bodyguard, as they made their way towards the exit of the Cram Duel School. "We'll be there momentarily."


One week later

Sunlight streamed in through the windows of the Cram Duel School, and what little clouds could be seen in the sky were tiny wisps of white. By all accounts, it was another beautiful morning in Maiami City.

And for a change, there was one person here who appreciated it more than anyone else.

The head of CDS put down the book he'd been looking over, professionally hardbound, exhaustively cited—and judging by the smell, fresh off the publishing presses. "Magnificent work, Eita-kun!" he said brightly. "That is not something I say to many people—least of all, to one of my students. How did you put such a remarkable collection of knowledge together—and in such a short time?"

On the other side of the desk, Eita shrugged—or at least, he tried to do so, as far as his crutches would let him. "I just … knew when to use it," he said with a smile.

It was worth those two Duels, he thought later on, to see the look of confusion on the principal's face.


A/N: Rated Q for Qliphorts.

… I regret nothing.

Anyway, this was just a little brainwave that wouldn't go away during class time. Work's been winding down enough to where I can do some more writing. Don't worry, we'll return to our regularly scheduled Elder Scrolls programming before long. Hopefully by then, it'll be the end of the year, and I'll be twenty-five with a B.F.A. framed somewhere on my wall.

Q's introductory speech in the first chapter is taken almost word-for-word from Steve Jobs' introduction of the Macintosh in January 1984, probably one of the most iconic moments in technology history. (I apologize, by the way, if I have offended any KC mainframes in the audience for comparing them to IBM.)

Finally, writing the turn-by-turn for this Duel was probably the hardest part of putting this fic together. I'm not a referee for games of any description, least of all Yu-Gi-Oh!—so please let me know if I slipped up somewhere.

Thanks for reading! – K


List of fic-exclusive cards:

Quiz Contestant

Level 4/EARTH/Warrior-Type/ATK 2000/DEF 2000

Cannot be Special Summoned from the Graveyard. If you control a "Quiz" monster: You can Special Summon this card to your opponent's side of the field in Attack Position. If this monster is Summoned this way: It cannot attack, also if it is destroyed (by battle or by card effect) its controller takes damage equal to its ATK.

Quiz Model

Level 2/LIGHT/Fairy-Type/ATK 0/DEF 0

If your opponent controls a monster while you control no monsters: You can Special Summon this card from your hand in Defense Position. When you do: Special Summon any number of "Quiz" monsters from your Graveyard in Defense Position. During either player's turn: You can banish 1 card from your Graveyard; return this card to your hand (you cannot apply this effect during the turn this monster was Summoned).

Start the Clock!

Normal Trap Card

Activate only if your opponent declares an attack with a monster whose ATK is higher than the ATK of a "Quiz" monster you control. Negate that attack and end the Battle Phase, also change all monsters your opponent controls to Defense Position, and if you do, their DEF becomes 0. Until your next End Phase, if a "Quiz" monster you control destroys an opponent's Defense Position monster by battle, inflict piercing battle damage to your opponent.