HELLO. IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME HASN'T IT. DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN KHR AND I THINK MY FINGER IS STUCK ON THE CAPS BUTTON.


"Bah! Why do we have to go?" Levi let out a loud grumble as he electrocuted another one of those freaking children, they multiplied like cockroaches. Currently they were all crawling from everywhere, the gutters, the sidewalk, they bubbled up from the no longer occupied kiddy pool.

"Children, children everywhere~" whined Lussuria as he twirled his big stick whacking kids and spearing them. Dumping the remains into a large bucket labeled 'Lost and found' just in case their parents came searching for them later.

Like a good neighbor state far- Varia was there. The mighty eagles of child control. Helping neighborhoods one little explosion at a time. Currently they were on the way to meet up with the Vongola and Tsuna had somehow convinced Xanxus that it was imperative that they discuss signing a treaty with his familiga.

The children had followed them though, so now instead of bringing a giant tuna as a welcome gift like Squalo wanted to. Bel suggested they being the choicest of slaughtered children, Lussuria quickly agreed because their flesh was soft and juicy. Delicious for stews. (Don't ask)

It was over in a matter of minutes and Varia casually strode into the Vongola headquarters with dignity and grace.

"For you." Fran said boredly tossing the fattest most delicious child on the table. Everyone gawked. "What makes you think we would want that?!" Gokudera yelled slamming his fist down. "TAKE IT BITCH!" Screamed Squalo before throwing him into his chair and muttering, "voivoivoivoiungratefulvoi."

Tsuna's mouth opened and closed like a fish for a couple minutes before Reborn finally slapped him over the head with a boomerang. "Tsuna talk, retard." The flabbergasted tenth turned to the unruly caravan of assassins whom were obviously waiting for him to hurry up and explain his business with them.

He took a deep breath and tried to present himself in a seemingly proper way.

"Uh.. I called you here today to...er... Ask for your help." Xanxus choked on his drink and instantly Levi rushed to bossu's side with a handkerchief. But tried to pry it away moments later when his idolized figure tried cramming it down his throat in order to choke himself. Therefore stating he'd rather die than make an alliance when there was no reason to do so.

Squalo took a wary glance at Xanxus before turning to the cause of bossu's suicide attempt. "What's the meaning of this? Like we'd make a deal with a Vongola brat." Without warning Reborn shot the tenth.

"YOU WILL LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY EVEN IF IT KILLS MEEEEEEE!" Screamed Tsuna suddenly ripping off his shirt and revealing his hairless chest. Bel gave a low whistle in mockery as everyone stared except Xanxus and Levi who were occupied with life or death.

"What the fu(censored)." Tsuna cussed as of Fran had taken out a sharpie and was doodling hairs on his chest. "EVERYBODY SIT DOWN NOW!" Boomed Reborn and instantly everyone was sitting properly and straight up in their respectable seats around the table.

There was muttering as Xanxus pulled the handkerchief from the back of his throat and threw it against the wall. It stayed there.

"Now.." Tsuna cleared his throat after putting on a fresh shirt. "Let me explain just WHY I need your help." Just then Yamamoto came in wearing a flight attendants uniform and wheeling a scale model of the mall.

"You want to build a mall?" Lussuria pressed his hand over his mouth girlishly and seemed surprised that the Vongola would want to create a shopping center. "Will there be cake?" Fran asked ever so innocently riding on Mink's back. The cat thingy was now the size of a lion due to a invention mishap that might be bothered to explain some other time.

"What- NO." Tsuna snapped his fingers and Yamamoto placed little figurines around the shopping center, a few suspended in the air by fishing wire so they looked like they were parachuting downwards.

"O.M.G! You want us to help you start a figurine collection!" Exclaimed Levi grinning and crossing his arms over his chest like he had just discovered the cure for all cancers which would save millions of lives and make him filthy rich enough to buy Xanxus's love. Too bad. Bossu was still pining away for his dead cow.

"Just listen to me!" Wailed Tsuna almost in tears, Lambo pulled a gun and instantly everyone was quiet. All the girls weren't present because it was presented as mans work and they went to go buy ice cream instead and cake to throw at them later, regardless if they lived to that moment.

"I need to form a temporary alliance with you because zombies are going to take over the mall!" Everyone blinked. "The apocalypse will happen!" Silence. "I'll buy everyone pudding and red wine." The room erupted with cheers.

Thus Tsuna spent three unneeded hours of going through their battle plan, by the second hour Fran got bored, so he reached over completely expressionless and kicked Squalo in the shin. The half asleep shark man jumped up with a glare on his face assuming it was i-pin who was sitting right next to him. The results were interesting. Lambo was kicked, then Bel, then Gokudera, then Lussuria's plant, then Yamamoto, and eventually everyone was secretly trying to kick each others asses in a mean game of 'make the shins bleed'.

They all settled down except for Squalo and Yamamoto who were still going at it. Of course Yamamoto being Yamamoto thought it was a fun game while Squalo was getting visibly angrier by the second and just when he might explode.

Tsuna was knocked out with an eraser.

"LET'S GO SAVE THE WHALES!" Screamed Bel as he jumped on the back of his kohai and they sped out the door, everyone followed still kicking each other in the shins as hard as they possibly could.


Once they got to the mall it was chaotic. Squalo began to harass the shoppers. "VOII WHERE ARE THE FREAKING LOREÀL PRODUCTS. THIS FACE DOESN'T JUST STAY YOUNG ON ITS OWN YOU KNOW!" He screamed into the face of a five year old girl who's only reaction was to burst into tears.

"What is wrong with you?!" Exclaimed her mother getting all up in his face as she began hitting him with her pocketbook. "Respect my authoriteh!" He tried to snatch her purse but that hunk of years eating McDonalds fries and half priced shakes wasn't having any of that. She pulled out a can of pepper spray attacked his face with it.

"VOIIII MY BEAUTIFUL EYES. THEY'VE BEEN DIMMED OF THEIR GLORIOUS SHINE, I'M MELTINGGGG." He sank to the floor with a sob, the mother grabbed her daughter and awkwardly walked away from his wriggling form.

"Bel senpai. Where do they sell headbands, should I go to Forever21 or Justice?" Fran debated pushing the prince around in a mini shopping cart you were allowed to push all around the shopping center.

"Ugh, go to Forever21, Justice is for twelve year old girls just figuring out what lipstick and hormones are. None of their trainer bra- shoes, fit the prince anyway." So froggy sped to Forever21 knocking down all the small children who stood on his path, remembering the few expired ice cream coupons he threw them those to pay for their medical bills.

While Fran was looking at their wide variety of bedazzled headbands, his senpai occupied himself by looking through their extensive lines of bright pink trainer bras, "but then again purple and red are quite suitable for the prince as well." He lifted both of them up comparing them critically while teen girls and their mothers just stared.

"Oh my gosssshhhhh~" Squealed Lussuria looking at the tiny pink café with his faithful plant. "We should go their for our date. It's exclusive and a quiet little place yes~" he looked over to Jeffery the plant, we might as well give it a name I mean, he's an important character of this heart wrenching love ballad

But Jeffery was no where to be found. Vanished like a... Vanishing plant. Lussuria stumbled backwards in shock, for what he saw was the most tragic and heartbreaking scene of all. Jeffery sat side by side with a perky little lilac bush, a musical montage of newfound romance began to play in the background while the water from the fountain burst up into the shape of a heart.

Unable to bear it anymore Lussuria ran away crying bitter tears of betrayal. He vowed one day to get revenge on his fallen love. (The feels.)

Suddenly without warning zombies came crashing through the windows immediately ripping open the heads of people and devouring their brains. Blood spattered everywhere. Screams increasing a twofold.

"HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT THE PRINCE'S SEXY LINGERIE SHOPPING!" Screamed Bel running out of the shop with bags filled to the brim of all the bras in the store, it was billed to Levi anyway so why not.

Fran came heroically running after him with a plastic cheetah patterned headband complete with jewels and a ruffly bow on one side placed atop his frog hat with much sophistication. He began throwing heels at the zombies, everyone knew that the six inch kind were lethal.

Levi was already dead.

As for Xanxus he didn't give a crap and lay on one of the mattresses drinking his lifetime supply of vodka and raising his glass in salute to the victims who were pounding on the locked doors screaming to be let in.

"I'll kill you. You betrayer, I'll take my revenge for what you've done! JUST YOU WAIT!" Lussuria rocked back and forth with crazy eyes in his corner, a unnatural insane smile spread across his face and he loaded more ammo into the machine gun that had been found just lying in the middle of the floor.

"Aha. Hahaha MYAHAJAHAGAAHAHAAAAA!"

-T0 bE cOnTiNuEd~