Three days and still no Ianto. Jack's anger had quickly turned to despair as he realised he didn't know Miller's routine and his son's repeated temper tantrums letting him know how wrong he was each time he tried something were down right scary. Like Damien Omen style scary.
If he'd spent less time critiquing Ianto's parenting skills and more time actually listening to Ianto's reasoning for their system this would be easier to handle. He had never seen this level of temper before and remembered scoffing at Ianto when he had told him about a particularly bad day while alone with the monster. What had he told him? Oh yeah, maybe he needed to watch a DVD or read a book by Mr Spock or someone else off star trek he'd heard wrote a book about kids. Ianto's cold stare was not one of agreement.
OK so maybe he wasn't as baby savvy as he had first thought and yeh, OK, maybe there was method to Ianto's madness with the weird bath times and reading time after each meal. Or whatever. Something like that wasn't it? Damn, if only he could remember the sequences.
"No Bad-Daddy!" was the favourite cry of rage and a second choice was "Tadda say No to you too!" letting Jack know that just because Ianto wasn't there it didn't mean Miller was subject to bribes of forbidden foods like chocolate. Little bugger ate it even as he told him off though. Nice to know there was a bit of him in there, aye?
The title "Bad-Daddy" seemed to have stuck and Jack missed his little happy man.
Gwen had supplied baby books, a DVD and even her own Welshman in an attempt to help but telling her he didn't cuddle the same had not gone down well no matter how he kept saying he meant with Miller and now he was out of ideas.
Miller's repeated cries of "where my Tadda?" and "want my Tadda pweese" if given a choice in anything had broken Jack's heart. His son's wide tear filled eyes and pleading voice could not make him feel any shittier than he did now and he had finally accepted that this mess was his and his alone. Each time the front door opened his little face lit up only to be shut down again when he didn't see the only parent he wanted.
Yep, I did this to my family. I fucked up bad! Time to own it and man up!
Tosh was asleep on the daybed with Miller snuggling into her hair once Jack had an epiphany that he was missing Ianto's locks that he usually fell asleep nestled in. Everyone had jumped to action and the house was finally tidy. Everything unpacked, boxes put away and the missing box had been found in the back of John's wardrobe much to John's confusion, Jack's relief and Miller's delight who has spent the next two hours attacking people with his toy minions and making angry baby snarls to show them the minions were not happy without Taddy either.
Rhys had laid down on the floor and Miller had proudly showed his "Unka Ree" all his minions. When Rhys had told Miller John had found the box with his stuff the little tyke had gasped and turned to glare at John in full Ianto-mode.
"Bad John-John" Miller had roared repeatedly while choosing his biggest plush toy and dragging it behind him as he crawled along the floor before pulling himself up onto John's lap and then ever so calmly taking his time to mark his target before whacking him about the head with it which had floored everyone. So Ianto-like even John sighed with remorse.
John's shrieks of terror as he begged the minion for mercy had finally pleased the Tot who had laughed until he choked as he hit him repeatedly in the head with the large plush minion. To see Miller smile was such a treat and Jack has been reduced to tears. A moment in Miller's life that Ianto had missed and he knew how much Ianto relished the little things Miller did. Hence Tosh staying and Owen occupying John in his room with a new zombie shooting game. Jack had locked himself in the main room for a while just hugging Ianto's pillow and breathing in his mate's fading scent while trying desperately to get the Tardis to pick up the damn phone.
He had left so many messages on the cell phone it wasn't funny only to find said cell phone in the bed where Ianto had obviously thrown it that day and now he was reduced to pleading with the Tardis to help.
Gods even she was angry with him. Late last night when the house was still he had rung her and spoken for over an hour to the silence at the other end about the house, Ianto and his remorse.
Tonight he had repeated the exercise and this time hadn't been able to stop the tears as he begged her to bring his mate back.
Watching Miller sleep while still looking for his Tadda with his ever stroking fingers broke Jack's heart and he replayed in his mind every stupid argument and decision that had led to this.
Jack gently moved "myfy" to one side so he could sit on the edge of the bed and Tosh opened one eye to watch him kiss his son's head. If only Miller would eat, his hair was lank and even his bottle sat untouched on the table. No matter what they tried they couldn't get it right when it came to Miler's diet.
"OK Jack?' she said softly so as not to wake the monster and Jack nodded sadly.
"I truly stuffed up aye Tosh" he sighed, "You were right when you said not to make any final decisions without Ianto, but really? How did we get to this?"
"Jack, you know how passionate Ianto is, it's one of the things you love about him, "she admonished, "You can't have it both ways. A strong willed man means a strong temper and a more fragile heart than he would admit."
"I just wanted to surprise him" he sighed.
"Yeah, well that worked didn't it" she scoffed then seeing his discomfort she tried another tack.
"Ianto feels trapped because you're making all the decisions. You may be the boss at work but you must let Ianto feel like he has some rein over the home or he'll never settle," she soothed Miller who was snuffling by rubbing his back. "This is his little boy, his little chick. This is supposed to be his nest. Let him make it his then he'll let you make it yours as well. "
"You think biting my tongue would help?" Jack moaned softly "God, I'll cut it out for the trouble it; caused me."
"Just stop trying to control everything. Ianto is the control freak remember?" She reminded, "Every time you overrule him or scoff at something he thinks he's doing it wrong. You've seen so many things, and had family before. This is Ianto's first time and he's been trying so hard to get it right. Any failure is his alone in his eyes. You bought this house without him so it's going to be hard for him to adjust when he didn't have the chance to even visualise what it could be. So this is your house, your stuff and everything is organised how you see it should be. Where is Ianto in any of that?"
After giving Jack a few moments to process she reached behind her head with her spare arm and pulled out a magazine she had found under the cushions.
"Who did this?" she asked showing him marked pages. "It's lovely."
Jack stared in shock at the kitchens chosen and saw the same theme in each. Wow! It would fit theirs. Shit. Ianto had been trying to adjust and he had just pushed him aside with his comment about getting someone in to do it one day and to forget about it. Once again he hadn't read things right and he had inadvertently stepped on Ianto's toes.
Jack nodded and then rubbed his face before looking back down at the nightlight that sat proudly by the bed. The colours flickered around the wall as Jack again thanked the gods that they had found the missing box.
Jack stroked his son's fine curls then froze as a faint noise came a familiar grind and with a sigh of relief he rose to greet the Tardis.
