A/N: I am one messed up fucking person. I won't blame you for not reading this… I feel bad for writing it. That said, um… I normally don't write yaoi (though I do enjoy yaoi and yuri both). I can handle shounen-ai fluff, mild ecchi-hentai, mild yuri…. Not that I'm disturbed by sex, its just too common in fanfiction and it bores me. Violence, however, does not. Dark themes, angstiness, horror, and suspense pertaining to the hero and villain of the story. I'm picky I guess… but writing dark angsty fic and listening to the bubbly tones of sakura-kiss, and ichiban no takaramono is the most awesome kind of guilty pleasure… XD
As usual, I own nothing…. But I do pick the shipping in here. As always, one-sided Vince/Cloud, Tifa/Rude, Tseng/Elena, Clerith, Zerith, and for this fic only, one sided Vincent/yuffie, one-sided … one sided CLoti that end in serious Tifa-bashing( I do kinda like her in ACC, but I still like her even less than Yuffie… blegh)...and Seph/Cloud. And its of the creepy mayadere-yandere, over possessive not quite yaoi sort. Just some twisted protectiveness. I needed it for the plot Enjoy!
"Damn what I'm becoming-
One of them now,
Just an opened door
On an endless night.
Dark desire burning,
In my blood now
How can I be sure?
I don't know if I'll be able to fight,
With a tortured soul,
And an honest design
My will cannot endure,
And my heart is torn away.
I was caught up in the moment,
We were alone and
You seemed to harness the light
Even though I felt cold inside
When you told me it would be alright
I had given up control and
I didn't focus hard enough to see,
The warning signs.
Your heart is serpentine."
Disturbed-serpentine
She danced lightly down the cavernous halls, traipsing light and graceful on the mossy stone floors. However, despite her normal happy demeanor, Aerith was currently a little concerned. The things the planet had been whispering to her threw her off balance. The information it gave her was unsettling, to say the least, at most she almost wanted to yell at the voices to shut up- and she normally felt warm and safe when they spoke to her. The planet was warning her of danger, and the danger seemed to center around Cloud. From the second that they'd first entered the temple- no, since they found a certain sword in the corpse of the president of Shin-ra, he'd been acting more withdrawn. Sure, he loosened up on their date, but he seemed to be mentally absent. Always rushing, and never resting. It grew even worse after Nibelheim. Sure, Vincent seemed to understand the mystery that was Cloud- even got him to open up somewhat. But she knew Vincent was a momentary distraction. Even now she could feel the presence of something darker, surrounding the blond like a shrouding fog- and he started walking somewhat less close to the former turk. It was always around him, called out to him sometimes. She could tell. He would make faces similar to the ones she knew crossed her face while conversing with the planet. The only difference being that Cloud looked afraid rather than comforted, the way she felt listening to the voices of the planet. The voices of the planet seemed to hush simultaneously when the party reached one the last door, and Aerith turned to look at the tunnel maze they had just solved one last time. When she turned back, the tattered crimson of Vincent's cloak, and sharp pale gold of Cloud's hair greeted her vision. The gunman's clawed hand was on the blonde's shoulder- he was forcing the younger man to wait for her. She knew Cloud would've waited on his own, if they weren't so close to the presence she felt on the other side of the "door" in front of the three of them. She recalled the last time they'd actually come in contact with the man. Cloud still had a bruise on his chest from the older man literally throwing a materia at him. Not to mention that the blonde had ignored the monsters they came across, never stopped for rest (until they were trapped at gold saucer), and only spoke to Vincent (for the first two days after they left Nibelheim.) His eyes grew progressively more intense, the bright sapphire seeming focused on something in the far distance- on edge and extremely terrifying to encounter at nighttime. Almost as unsettling as the feeling she got walking through the door to the next room.
The first thing Cloudthought as he walked through the cavern, and to the large door, was that he needed to be on the other side of it. He couldn't even name why. Sure, he could hear the cacophony of voices that rang out through his mind, terrible and frightening- yet the beautiful siren call still lured him forward, almost trancelike. He barely managed to pause when Vincent held him back. His blood was singing, and he had no conscious clue why- in the back of his mind he could feel the reason pulsing just below his reach. So the second he felt Vincent remove his claws, Cloud stepped through the doorless frame, almost running in a mad dash. He just barely refrained that compulsion. He heard Aerith patter up past him to look around the room.
"It's the room with the murals" She stated, hands clasped behind her back lightly, and delicate face and innocent eyes focused on said murals with interest. He would have paused to admire her beauty on any other occasion, but his sense was beyond him. He could only think of one thing at that moment.
"Where are you?!" He called to the presence he felt permeate the room "Sephiroth?!"
immediately turning to the light flash of response. Something near his heart clenched, a strange, foreign emotion, and the man-monster-deity in question formed within the burst. Those horrible, captivating emerald eyes locked onto his, the clenching feeling growing tighter, more intense.
"So cold." The silver haired entity before him chided. The blond flinched. "I am always by your side." The other studied the blond for a moment. "Come." Cloud heard the command in his head, as well as echoing about the tunnel like room. Dashed forward like a man possessed, pausing each time the 'man' appeared, listening to everything his once idol said with rapt attention, still unable to grasp why he felt so compelled to do so. He couldn't make sense of what the silver entity said either, but when he reached the non-illusion at the end of the hall, with Vincent and Aerith standing to his left and right respectively, he watched the leather clad being demonstrate and motion with his left hand rather melodramatically, the Masamune's six foot blade coming too close for comfort a few times as a result, as he explained his plan in detail, the voice in Cloud's head growing steadily more commanding. Like a smooth current of water, he felt it roll around, swirling in orbit about the confused thoughts in his unstable mind. He felt… something tear away and yelled out.
"That'll never happen!" His blood was boiling.
Wake up.
He saw a blinding flash as Sephiroth literally flew through him, those words suddenly drowning out all else. NO nono no no no…. he was alone… why did he feel alone. He called out again, as he dashed about the room.
"Where are you? Sephiroth!" He felt strange. Empty, lonely, different, afraid. Something felt off, but all he could think about was a way to cure this emptiness that overtook him suddenly. The only answer was Sephiroth. He had to find him. The older man had to still be here somewhere… Cloud felt more alone each time he didn't see the silver warrior.
Shhhh. Be calm, Cloud. I will not abandon you so soon, nor so easily. The voice spoke over everything else. He calmed considerably as the man called out to him. You are mine, right? the voice cooed.
Cloud woke with a start. He looked around the room, glancing at the clock on his PHS, then relaxing into his bedroll. It was just a nightmare. one he was still living, sure, but a nightmare none the less. Besides, unless he'd fucked his memory again, that wasn't exactly how that day went. Well, the end of it at least. Or was it? He couldn't really recall all the details. Dammit! He punched his pillow, looking down at the cotton rest that his spiky locks took up seconds before as though it held all the answers. He knew someone who likely did, but she was far beyond his sight. He sighed.
"Aerith…" He blinked back the moisture that tried to escape the dam of his eyelids. He could feel soothing fingers on his cheek, cradling the rebellious tears that streamed down his soft face. "Vince… he muttered, recognzing the cold touch of his close friend.
"Mmmhm?" The turk hummed the question.
"I thought you left." he said, dejectedly stuffing his head into his pillow. The other man continued stroking his cheek.
"I… was worried." The gunman said, somewhat reluctant. Cloud remembered the words the raven-head uttered the night before, and closed his eyes.
"...Sorry." He curled up in the fetal position, revelling in the other's touch for a while, despite how undeserving he felt to be receiving it. He was dirty, tainted. But, here he was. "I meant to tell you…"
"That the bane of both our existences is returning, and saw fit to stalk you as a ghost?" The ex-turk finished. "Has he done anything?" He stopped before his voice could catch.
"Other than general mind-fuckery, nothing yet. But…" Cloud trailed off, tracing the grooves of the floor with his right thumb.
"You're afraid he might soon?" Vincent paused before proceeding to massage the younger man's shoulders. He winced at how tight the muscles were. "You're too tense." He stated. "This is really getting to you, isn't it?" the man asked, calm and expressionless. He didn't receive an answer. Cloud was already sound asleep once more. Vincent decided to head the the kitchen and make something for the blond to eat when he woke.
When Cloud opened his eyes, slowly prying his lids apart. His eyelashes felt crusty, his eyes stung. Everything felt unbearably hot and dry. His head and arm throbbed with a dull, aching pain. He could feel a sharp pang below his sternum and just between his lungs. He glanced around, and started, almost falling over when he saw the flames and smoke. He was in Nibelheim. He scanned the carnage this time, every single member of avalanche was present amongst the dead. He rushed to where he'd seen a flash of bright crimson, kneeling beside where Vincent lay with a broken neck. The former turk's head lolled and flopped around unnaturally, crimson eyes dull and dead. Cloud's heart caught in his throat, still sore with smoke inhalation.
He glanced about once more, his eyes falling on a bundle of pink and brown, he choked back a sob when he looked into glassy forest green eyes, dead for the second time. He rushed over to be certain, but turned away when he saw Aerith's face focused and coated in her own blood. She'd died peacefully, untainted by anything, still smiling. This was too much. He found Zack in the pile of bodies as well, mangled to almost to the point of being unrecognizable. He felt hand on his back.
"I feel we should go someplace more pleasant, don't you?" A familiar, melodic baritone whispered against the shell of his ear. He closed his eyes against the sight of black feathers falling around in spirals, going limp. It was a dream, but that didn't change the fact that it was a horrible, traumatic experience. The man grabbed both of Cloud's shoulders, leading him away from the source of his discomfort, practically carrying him. The blonde remained as limp as a ragdoll until the taller entity deign to stop, at which point bleary blue eyes cranked open once more.
"I'd hardly call this more pleasant." He croaked. "You are seriously a fucked up person, y'know that right." The other man didn't answer, so Cloud continued. "I don't even know what's real anymore because of you!" He could feel leather-clad fingers against his forehead.
"Hush." The man in question finally responded. "You have a fever." He turned the younger mans face to look into his eyes.
"You don't really care." The blonde said turning away. "Stop it, I know what you're trying to do, Sephiroth."
"Oh really? You may be a tad more delusional than I thought." He turned the others face back toward him. "Perhaps I gave you too much of the stigma." He continued.
"s'still your fault." Cloud could feel his eyes closing themselves at the point. He felt exhausted, like he'd run laps around the entire planet.
"Yes, I know." The man chuckled. "I overestimated you this time, didn't I puppet?"
"N'yea… st'callin me tha…" His head hurt.
"I've never seen you this delirious… you're actually slurring. I'd rather not have to deal with this. Wake up."
Cloud gasped awake, nearly jumping out of his bedroll. He looked around his room, intent on finding Vincent, but instead of ebony hair and a red velvet cloak, he found silver hair and a black leather trenchcoat.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Cloud said, without any real venom to it, as he lay back down.
"Checking to see if you're still coherent. I was worried I might've broken you, that was… quite the nightmare." Cloud felt the man checking his temperature. "Seems as though you're alright now, however."
"I'm not talking to you." Cloud retorted. He knew it sounded childish, but his mind was sluggish right now.
"You look like a dumbfounded fish, and sound like a reprimanded child. Don't hold me accountable for being unable to take you seriously at the moment, especialy as you seem to have forgotten how to put your clothes on." he man chuckled, then looked into his eyes, face serious. "You do remember who you are, right?" He asked, poking the blonde's face for emphasis.
"Yeah, I'm about to kick your ass out of my room. Stop messing around." The blonde yelled, not sure what the man was trying to pull.
"Whatever you say… Zack."
the man pulled away smirking like the maniac he literally was. Cloud threw a pillow at him. "...Very mature, Cloud."
"Shut up." Cloud said, sulking. "If I want to throw pillows at a ghost, I can. You have no room to judge me, nothing you do is normal."
"Are you comparing yourself to me?" The silver man laughed. "That's awfully big talk
for a blonde midget who failed to get anywhere in life."
"Fuck off. At least I'm not a psychotic pyromaniac." Cloud yelled as he finally picked up the clothes laid out for him on the floor, and started to get dressed. "Do you have anything better to do than stalk me and traumatize me with nightmares?"
"That nightmare was not my doing. It merely a side effect of the stigma, and those thoughts were your own, nothing conjured by me. What you saw, that was your deepest fear, losing everything- yourself included." The man stalked forward. "It was rather gruesome. I believe your sanity is still in question, Cloud." The man said, helping the blonde unzip his sleeveless sweater and put it on because his fingers were shaking, and he'd being fumbling over the fabric for five minutes. He slid his face down so that it was level with the blonde's ear. "Look how shaken you are already, you really are helpless." he slid his arms around the younger man in such a way as to appear threatening. He felt himself smirk as Cloud tensed.
"Let go.."
"Hmmm… no. I rather like you like this, it would be far too easy to snap your neck right here, like this-" He reached his hand up to the blonde's throat, laughing as Cloud shuddered beneath his touch. "Its lucky for you, isn't it, how indispensable you are to my plans. You should be glad I need you so much, not to mention… how much I like you." He dropped his hand from the blonde's throat, instead using it to cradle the shorter male against his chest.
"Maybe I should kill myself then." Cloud knew he didn't really mean it. He was just buying time.
"Hmm, even if you were actually willing to try, I wouldn't let you." He paused to turn the blonde around. "Besides, I know how much you secretly enjoy my blatant favoritism. You like to be god's favorite, don't you puppet?"
"You're not a god, Sephiroth." the blonde said, closing his eyes. "Not by a long shot."
"Hm. Not yet, anyway." the spectre continued unfazed. He ran his fingers through the blonde's hair. "Regardless, you are mine. And my other plans are securely in action… now all I need is for you to be good, do you think you can cooperate this time Cloud?"
"Fuck off." The blonde said. But his eyes were closed, and he was too concerned with the feeling of having the other man pet his head as one would a cat to focus on meaning it.
"Oh? I don't really think you want me to." He continued to rub his fingers through the blonde's head. "Do you really want me to?"
"Nnn...no… not really…" Cloud flinched. He hadn't meant to say that. Damn! The mental vice was getting to him again.
"Good puppet." Sephiroth all but cooed. "You are mine." Cloud jerked away.
"No! stop it!" He couldn't stand up, his head hurt so much, the siren call of voices was returning, telling him to obey, to let the man pull his strings, but he didn't want this. Not again.
"Mine!" More commanding this time, the once honoured man jerked the blonde's head up to stare into his eyes. He smirked, noticing from the way the other looked, that he was winning. "Mine." He felt Cloud go limp in his hand. The man laughed, he had him! "Good boy Cloud." And the blonde looked up at him, with his own eyes reflecting out of that face. He preferred his own green on the boys face over blue anyway. He laughed, fading away into shadow as Vincent entered the door.
Cloud looked at the former turked, avoiding eye contact, and said- "I have to make a delivery for Reno, I'll be back in a few days." as he walked out the door, and hopped on fenrir. He had a job to do.
