Chapter 4

"Start talking," Coulson spat.

"How's Skye?" Natasha croaks.

"Natasha!" Coulson raised his voice. "Start talking. Now! You're not in a position to ask anything."

"You better start talking Agent Romanoff," May threatened.

May pursed her lips, trying to control her anger. If Natasha didn't start answering she was afraid she'd start giving Natasha a taste of her own medicine.

Natasha didn't speak, the only thing in her mind was Skye. She didn't know how to explain what happened, she didn't want to and she didn't care if May tried to torture it out of her because she would take it all. She deserved it all. And by the looks of May she was certain the Cavalry would probably deliver.

"Natasha, dammit!" Coulson kept shouting. He wasn't sure Natasha was even listening. The spy didn't so much as blink or flinch, but if there was something he could see in her eyes was emotion. It was probably the first time he saw Agent Romanoff's eyes brimming with tears. "It's not looking good for you right now Natasha," he spoke, now in a softer tone, crouching in front of the metal chair bolted to the floor that held the spy in place.

"How's Skye?" she whispered.

"Are you listening to me Natasha?" Coulson asked, waving his hand in front of her face.

Nothing.

He grabbed a pen from the inside pocket of his jacket and pointed it at the spy's eyes, flashing them with light.

No reaction.

"She's zoned out?" May asked, seething.

"It looks like that." Coulson sighed, getting up. "She's not going anywhere until we have answers though."

The first thing Skye feels when she wakes up is the massive headache that increases exponentially as she becomes more alert. She groans as the pain intensifies.

"Hey," she hears Jemma whispering. "How are you feeling?"

She opens her eyes to look at her friend, but the minute she does so she has to close them again. The pain is its sharpest because of the light in the room. "Too bright," Skye lets out in a raspy voice.

"Of course," Jemma says, mentally cursing herself for her thoughtlessness. "There," she lets out as she dims the light. "You may open your eyes now."

"What happened to me?" Skye asks, trying to pull herself up to sit.

"What are you doing?!" Jemma snaps at her.

"Ouch! Too loud Jemma…" Skye complains with a wince. "My head's killin' me," she protests just above a whisper.

"Sorry, sorry," Jemma apologizes with a grimace of her own. "But you have to stay put, don't move, please. You were badly injured in your head."

"What?" Skye asks confused, lifting her hand to touch her sore face. "What the hell happened? I don't…" And then Skye shuts her eyes tightly, the pain is unbearable and it comes back to her that Natasha had beaten the crap out of her. "Natasha?" she asks, more to herself than to Jemma, as if her mind is playing tricks on her.

"Yes," Jemma answers even though, by the look in Skye's face, she figures the doubt has been lifted.

"But…but why?" Skye whispers. "I need to talk to her. Where is she?" Sky asks, getting worked up and trying to get out of bed. Her body feels like it weighs tons and Jemma's pushing her back down makes it harder to manifest her protest, but she needs to speak to Natasha. "You have to let me go Jemma," Skye fights.

"I'm sorry. I can't let you go anywhere. You need your rest or you could risk further injury," Jemma tried to reason, but the brunette was stubborn.

"Jemma, please... There's something wrong," Skye pants.

"You need to calm down Skye. I can't sedate you because of your injury so you have to do me a favor and be mindful of the seriousness of this situation."

"Bring Natasha here then," Skye tries to negotiate.

"I, I can't," the doctor says simply.

"Why not?"

Jemma doesn't say anything and averts her gaze.

"Jemma…" Skye threatens.

The doctor sighs. "Fine, but you have to calm down first."

"Okay, okay." Skye groans. "Calming down, see?" She's impatient.

"Coulson and May are interrogating Agent Romanoff," the scientist blurts out.

"What? No!" Skye cries out, ignoring the throbbing in her head. "No, Jemma, please you have to bring her here. You don't understand, it was my fault!"

"What do you mean it was your fault," Coulson asked her. "Fitz-Simmons were watching you through the video security feed. They saw Agent Romanoff attacking you out of the blue," Coulson told the young Agent, confused by her statement.

"Please just bring her here A.C." Skye begged.

"Skye, I'm going to have to ask you, again, to please calm down. The pressure on your head…" Jemma tried to reason, but stopped as Skye glared at her. The pain and her head were clearly the last thing she cared about.

"Please A.C., it was my fault."

"She attacked you Skye, Agent Romanoff attacked a member of this team."

"Because of something I did!"

"It doesn't serve as an excuse. I can't allow this behavior. It goes for Agent Romanoff and anyone who disrespects the code of conduct," he let out, aggravated. "Aggression is not tolerated.

"Let me go see her then," Skye said, starting to lift herself again for the umpteenth time.

"Sir!" Jemma raised her voice. "Please," Jemma cleared her throat, embarrassed by her outburst. "Skye really can't deal with this stress right now…Maybe you should," Jemma tried, offering a small smile. "Maybe you should allow Agent Romanoff here under supervision, of course."

Coulson sighed and looked at Skye.

"Five minutes Skye. You'll get five minutes and then I'm personally escorting Agent Romanoff back to questioning."

Skye gave a small nod, wincing at the pain that small movement caused her.

As Coulson pushes Natasha into Skye's room the both of them immediately lock eyes.

"Skye…" Natasha gasps. She steps forward, tentatively and her eyes scan the injuries on the younger woman's face. There's a bad bruise forming on the brunette's cheekbone and a gash on her lip. Natasha swallows hard and her eyes fill with tears again.

"Any funny business and I won't hesitate to arrest you, Agent Romanoff", Coulson warns before he leaves the room to stand outside with May, watching both women through the glass door.

None of the two acknowledge him, being too focused on each other.

Skye frowns at Natasha with a hurt expression. She doesn't know if she should be angry or worried that the spy is on the verge of breaking down in front of her. "I'm fine," Skye says, feeling the need to comfort the older Agent. She knows it's ironic, but she worries and she knows there's something really wrong.

"I'm sorry Skye, I..." For once the Black Widow is at a loss for words and she can't even look at Skye's face anymore. She's ashamed by herself for hurting the younger woman. It's the first time she sincerely uses these words, but not even because of that does she feel like it will ever make up for nearly killing someone she… cares about.

"I want you to tell me why you did what you did," Skye demands.

Natasha doesn't say anything. She doesn't have a proper explanation. She doesn't remember attacking Skye, she was blind to who her attacker was.

"Natasha," Skye presses, her voice falling an octave. She's getting tired. The exertion to have Coulson bring the spy in the room took whatever energy she had left and she feels like she wants to slap the woman around if she doesn't start talking soon.

"I don't know why Skye… I snapped."

"Yeah…" Skye scoffs with a grimace. "I could tell."

"I'm dangerous. I should have never allowed you to come close. It's never happening again," Natasha lets out, her voice impossibly raspy.

"You think that's what I want?" Skye frowns. "I just want an explanation Natasha. I just need to understand."

"There's nothing to understand. It's not happening again. I'm getting off this plane as soon as it touches down."

"You're running, then?"

"If that's what it takes to keep you safe, yes. I nearly killed you."

"You were fine and then you were attacking me, staring as if you weren't even there... did you even know what you were doing? Did you realize I cried out your name to try and make you stop?"

Natasha took a sharp intake of breath and her green eyes met Skye's again.

She shook her head. How could she not have heard the brunette calling out to her?

Skye nearly choked herself trying to fight her own tears. It wasn't the pain in her body that bothered her, it wasn't the fact Natasha had nearly finished her off… it was just the pain in the older woman's eyes and the sense that the conversation won't take them anywhere.

"I know you didn't mean it Natasha." Skye told her with a small reassuring nod. "But please help me understand," she begged. "So it doesn't have to happen again," she finished just above a whisper. "I'd hate to die such a useless death," she attempted a joke. But it didn't work out the way she imagined. The environment in the room was thicker than ever. "What's the last thing you remember?" Skye tried when Natasha just kept silent to her own thoughts.

"Red…" Natasha bit her trembling lip.

Skye never thought she'd see the older woman this terrified.

She frowns. "What does that mean?"

"It means I've been compromised," the spy's voice cracked.

Spending time with Skye, pulling away from her mask, daring to be someone had made Natasha unstable. Her red room nightmares had become frequent, the flashbacks had been plaguing her for some time now, but she tried to shake those away, believing she was still in control. The truth was, she'd never fear anything in life as she feared what had been done to her and now that she had allowed herself to become vulnerable, to let some of her defenses down, she'd snapped unwillingly and become something dangerous, someone she had absolutely no control of. She was being unmade again, by herself this time. She needed discipline, she couldn't allow emotions. She needed control. She needed distance from Skye.

"I need to leave," Natasha said with resolution, her eyes shutting down.

"Natasha wait!" Skye called out, closing her eyes tightly as the searing pain ripped through her head. She sat up and with some effort pulled herself out of bed. She needed to feel tall, she needed to look Natasha well in the eyes.

"You should lie down," Natasha told her simply while following the brunette's every movement in case she needed help. The last thing she wanted was to be responsible for a decay in Skye's condition.

Skye bit her tongue, feeling the anger overtaking her. "You're tiring me out so much you have no idea," she vented, moving to stand just inches from the red haired Agent. "I'm tired of having to take a million steps to get a stupid, cryptic answer," Skye continued, raising her voice well above the pounding in her head. "You don't get to just walk away on me!" she said, moving to stand between the door and Natasha. "Talk!" she demanded once more, with finality in her voice.

Natasha took a deep breath and turned her head to the side before she actually turned to completely face the younger woman.

"Dammit Natasha!" Skye cried out lifting her arms in exasperation. "Do something, say something, just… Let's get out of this nowhere zone where nothing happens. Why are you trying so hard to run away from me? I should be the one running and I'm not so why are you so desperate to shove me away?"

"Because I can't control myself."

However simple and vague that statement was, it was something. At least it made Skye take a deep breath and unclench.

"You really have to stop being so cryptic all the time. Can't you for once give me a straight answer?" Skye asked. Skye could read green eyes debating and suffering, aching to be freed and she knew how hard it was to allow such thing, so she lowered her voice and tried not to voice her irritation. "Please," Skye begged. "Give me anything. I think I deserve it at this point, Natasha."

"You're making me feel things. You're making me act in ways that are unnatural to me. I'm losing my grip, I'm…"

"Letting your guard down?" Skye finishes for the spy.

Natasha answers with a small embarrassed nod. "It can't happen. Not safely. You see what that caused? I hurt you Skye," she voices her inner turmoil.

"You're a ticking time bomb."

"That's exactly why I need to leave," Natasha tells her.

"I disagree. What you need is to talk about whatever it is that you've been bottling up for all these years. That's the only way you're going to regain control."

Natasha seems to ponder her words, but talking about herself is something she's never done. It's something she was heavily conditioned not to do and however self-conscious she feels by admitting she needs it, even to herself, doesn't even come close to how frightened the idea makes her.

"I just need to get away," Natasha insists.

Skye frowns. "What, from me?" She doesn't even wait for Natasha to reply, whatever emotional opening the spy is giving her at this moment is not going to last for long. Skye can see all those walls fighting against the spy, wanting Natasha to shut her out. "Do you honestly think that what you're feeling is going to go away?"

"It's not the first time I do it. I've done it before, a long time ago."

Skye makes a mental note to bring this subject up some other time and sighs. "You have an opportunity to be free of whatever past you're so afraid of. Are you going to hide from it? I thought you were braver than that. I thought you didn't give up," Skye scoffs. Natasha's stillness is troubling her and so she's being intentionally provocative, trying to cause a reaction. Even an aggressive outburst would mean progress at this point. The spy, however, just stares blankly through Skye's head, as if it were invisible.

"Please stay. Please talk to me. Let me be your friend. Let me show you friendship is good, let me show you that you can trust me," Skye pleads softly. She'll try about anything to get through to the red head but that doesn't mean her words are any less true. "Natasha I know everything about living in fear. I know what it's like not knowing who you are. I know what it's like to always expect people to betray you," she confessed. "I'm not going to do that to you when it's something I struggle with everyday too. Every day I have to remind myself that sometimes I just need to try and have faith in people, no matter how badly I was hurt in the past. It took me a long time to understand that, it's still so tough to put that to practice, but everyone needs someone. I do too. You do too," Skye told her softly, looking straight into the other woman's eyes, hoping she'll read the sincerity in her own. "Be the person that I can trust and I promise I'll never give you reasons to hide. Just please… Stay. Let me be your friend."

Hearing the desperateness in those words made Natasha snap back from her thoughts. She pursed her lips and focused her gaze on Skye's eyes. If only she could just let go of her demons, if only she could stop feeling so lost, so disgusted by her own weakness, if only she could be good enough...

"Please don't leave me too, Tasha," Skye whispered, broken.

Natasha wanted so much to pull the brunette into her and hold her, promise her that she could trust her and that she'd stay and protect her, but the spy couldn't. Not when she had already broken the promise before it was even made, not when she couldn't even trust herself. So instead Natasha leaned forward and dropped a lingering kiss to Skye's forehead, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in her heart.

"Please Tasha," Skye begged, clutching to the woman's sleeve, sensing the farewell undertones of the kiss.

"I can't," Natasha breathed. "I'm sorry."