Bella's POV
I arrived back at the Cullens and the first thing I did was race upstairs to Edward's room and grab Peter by the ear, dragging him with me. I wasn't there long enough to take note of what he and Edward were currently doing but I didn't care. I was too angry for that, too heartbroken.
"Hey," Peter protested as I pulled him down the stairs by his ear. "Ow, ow, ow. Bella, what the fuck are you doing to me?"
I didn't answer him. We hit outside and I knew where I was headed, the only place I felt safe, Edward's meadow. Peter's whines only increased.
"Bella, seriously. Let my fucking ear go and I'll come anywhere with you. Please, it hurts so much."
I couldn't tell if he was being truthful or not, but I trusted him enough that I knew he would follow me. I let go of his ear and didn't stop until I was at the meadow.
"What the fuck?" Peter asked me as he held his ear to his head, trying to fuse it back. He was lucky I didn't rip it off completely.
I didn't look at him. I just collapsed onto my knees and looked at the ground. I wondered where I had gone wrong. I was so sure of Jasper and his feelings, but then he went and killed Makka… It didn't make sense. I wasn't mated to her, I knew this, but her death still hurt. I had confided in her before, she knew a different side of me. I always thought she deserved better than me, but now she was just dead.
"What is going on?" Peter asked, kneeling in front of me. He sounded so sympathetic.
I looked up at him. He reached out and rested his hands on my knees.
"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked. "Who did this to you? I will find them and I will kill them."
I shook my head back and forth. Peter wouldn't be able to kill the Bringer of Darkness, no one would. We were all doomed and me especially.
"Hey," Peter said and I could tell that I was upsetting him. "You need to confide in me, Bella. You chose me to drag out here and not Edward… His scent is all over this meadow… There must be a reason you chose me, so what is it?"
I looked up at him. Peter was far from stupid. The reason I had chosen him was because he didn't know me or all of my shit. He didn't know Jasper and what he… meant to me. I don't fucking know. I just felt calmer around Peter, safer. He always had an uncanny ability to just… understand me. To crack a joke and make me feel better. I don't fucking know why I choose him.
"What's going on?" he asked softly, reaching for my hand.
"I lost someone," I finally spoke and that was all I could get out. The image came back to the front of my mind, but I wasn't focused on Makka, only Jasper and how he was no longer the Jasper I knew.
"I lost someone once," Peter said and I saw vulnerability in him that I've never seen before. "Her name was Charlotte and I loved her." He paused. "We were mates," he whispered before looking around him. It was as though he was afraid someone would overhear him. When he was confident no one was around but us he continued. "I hid my feelings. I didn't want to ruin anything, I didn't want anything to change, but it didn't matter in the end."
"What happened?" I asked.
"She was killed," Peter said and I noticed that his voice held no malice to whoever killed his mate, he just accepted it.
"How are you not dead?" I asked next. "I've seen many mates separated during my time with the Volturi and it never ends well."
"We never made it through the whole mating process," Peter answered and he sounded regretful. "Maybe if we had this could have been avoided, but I was afraid. But then again maybe I'm wrong," he said letting out a laugh. "I only knew her for a couple of months and she was a newborn during that time. I'm hopeful that the reason I didn't mate with her fully is because there's someone else out there for me. Or perhaps I can find another who had lost their mate. I don't know."
"How can you just accept this?" I asked him. I was struggling with the fact that my potential mate was either not mine or he didn't want me, but at least he was still breathing. Peter's wasn't. I felt selfish.
"I've always been positive," Peter said, smiling wryly, "and it happened so long ago now, one-fifty, two hundred years, somewhere in between there. I've learned to let go and move on. It was tough in the beginning, but it's just what I had to do. Killing myself wouldn't have done anyone any good. I mean, could you imagine your life without me?" he asked and I cracked a small smile. I really couldn't. Peter was an enigma and I liked having him around.
"So you and Edward?" I just had to ask. I loved how Peter had somehow shifted the focus off me and my problems and onto him. I loved him so much for it.
"I'm just having some fun," he said, but something seemed off.
"How did you get him to have sex with you?" I blurted out without thinking. "What is your gift? Persuasiveness?"
"No, we've been through this before," Peter said, "I don't possess that gift. Yes, I have a gift, but I rarely use it."
"Why?" I used mine almost every second, even now my shield was up keeping my mind closed off.
"We're vampires," Peter said simply, "the fact that some of us possess gifts when others do not is unfair. I would rather just be normal and blend in. Sure I like using my gift and I've used it for both good and evil, but most of the time, I don't even bother."
I looked at Peter. He was still so odd.
"You didn't answer my question, how did you get Edward to have sex with you?"
"I guess he just read my mind and liked what he saw," Peter said, waggling his eyebrows. "He wanted to give it a try. This was all on him, not me."
Peter was getting defensive and I found I didn't like it. I dropped my head.
"You said you've heard of the Bringer of Darkness before," I said to Peter, "what do you know about him? Do you think there's any good in him?"
"Is he the one who hurt you? Hurt the person you were close with?" Peter asked.
I was foolish for bringing him into this conversation. I should have said nothing. We were doing so well and now what?
I didn't answer, I couldn't.
"Did you go after him without me?" Peter asked next. "I thought we were a team, Bella?"
Maybe if I had taken Peter things would be different, Makka's death could have been avoided… Maybe.
"What's going on?" Edward asked as he came into the meadow. I saw him share a look with Peter before he sat down behind Peter and wrapped his arms around him.
I extended my shield around only Peter and me, and spoke quickly.
"If you're not Ed's mate I hope he knows this," I said, "I don't want you playing with him, Pete."
Peter nodded his head and I pulled back my shield.
"You know I hate when you do that," Edward said, but I ignored him. "Bella, tell me what's wrong."
"Not until you tell me what this is," I said, motioning towards him and Peter. Edward's hand was on Peter chest and it was getting lower and lower as the seconds ticked by.
"I'm just having some fun," Edward said. "Isn't this what you wanted me to do? I mean, if you can have sex with Makka then I can surely broaden my horizons."
I choked up at her name, how could I not?
"What?" Edward asked. "Is that where you went?"
I nodded my head, searching the ground for answers.
"Mackenzie was killed," I said, speaking the words out loud for the first time.
"Mackenzie… Makka… She was a girl?" Edward said, of course he would get caught up on that part. "But that means… Oh… And… Yeah… Look at me and you, Bella, both going for the same sex, who knew right? No wonder we weren't mated."
"Edward, are you gay?" I asked, staring intently at his face. He blushed and looked at Peter.
"Yep," he said and I was surprised to see no negative reaction from him. "No wonder having sex with Tanya scared the crap out of me," Edward said. "I'm a bottom, Peter taught me that. I don't like being in control, I want to be told what to do-"
"Okay, enough, I think I've got it," I told him. "As long as you're happy, Ed."
"I am, so happy," he said, still smiling at Peter. "I had almost forgotten what this felt like. I can't believe that I was so against it that I didn't even allow it to be a possibility, but Peter opened me up to it in more ways than one, if you know what I mean."
"Ed, you need to stop before I rip your tongue out," I told him and he wisely shut his mouth.
"So, what about you, Bella?" Peter asked. "Are you gay too?"
I shook my head.
"No," I said. "I mean it was fun and all, but I don't think I am… But then again who knows anymore."
I shook my head and focused back on Edward and Peter. They seemed so good together, yet they weren't mated. I wondered what would happen when one of their mates came along. How big would the fallout be? Would the other seek revenge? Or was this simply just a bit of fun? I decided not to worry about it, I didn't really have the mind space to right now and as long as Edward was happy then I would be happy for him because that's what best friends do.
