Peter's POV
Edward's hand sat on my chest. It was all calculated. Bella was hurting. His hand getting lower and lower. I had been through this before. Somebody had hurt her. I knew I had created a monster. I knew what I was doing. Jasper was surely involved. My feelings on the matter didn't matter. Jasper's orders were to be followed. But I couldn't help but care for her. Only Jasper's did, it was his order after all.
"Hey," Edward said and I snapped my head to him. "Why are your thoughts static again?"
"Sorry," I said.
This happened far too often. I always had to be on top of everything. My thoughts flashed by too fast. I thought of too many things. I planned everything. Details, no matter how inconsequential, needed to be planned out fully. My mind never stopped. I couldn't allow it to. Jasper thought he was in charge. He wasn't. I kept him in line. I kept him from doing anything stupid. He probably knew this. Maybe he didn't. I just felt better being on top of everything. I liked serving under his command. It gave me purpose. A drive. I could never just sit idly by.
"Ow," Edward said, grabbing his head, "can't you do that stupid shit you did the first day and pull on your ear?" he asked me. "This is giving me a headache."
Welcome to my world.
I closed my eyes and attempted to clear my mind for his sanity. It wasn't possible. Not entirely. I used Bella's shield and shielded my mind instead. It was simpler this way. Safer.
"Ugh," Edward said, clutching at my chest tightly. "That's not ideal, but it's better."
Edward would believe that Bella was shielding my mind. I was fine. He would not discover my gift. No one would. The Volturi would want me. I didn't want to live in Italy. I liked the States. I had worked hard to get everything I wanted. Everything but one. Charlotte. I cared for her so much. Jasper killed her. I knew it. He came back and he reeked of her. I said nothing. I played the part I was destined to. Her death was inconvenient, but understandable. Jasper cared for me, more than anyone else. I used his gift. I could feel it all. He loved me. He would never admit this. It didn't matter. He loved me and I loved him.
Forged in war. Close to a century with Maria. Half a century under Jasper's command. The war was hell. Destructive deaths. Powerful pain. Senseless sensibility. Murderous Mayhem. Unilateral understanding. Frenzied freedom. Loveless love. Burning bodies. Jasper left for a year. In his absence I disbanded our army. I killed everyone. I made sure the war was over and done with. He returned broken and furious. Somebody had hurt him. He didn't care that our army was no longer. He didn't blame me. He didn't thank me either, but emotions don't lie. I saved him from the war and he was thankful. Jasper went off on his own. I followed him. I needed to keep an eye on him and I had been for a century now. The pain and anger he felt was soon channeled into his game with Garrett and it was breath of fresh air. He was no longer struggling, he had regained purpose and I wanted nothing more for him. Whatever had wounded him on his year off needed to be avoided. I couldn't have Jasper hurting like that again. He would never survive a round two.
"You're clearly bi-sexual then," Edward said to Bella.
Edward. My mission. I wasn't gay. Edward wasn't my mate. I wasn't even interested in him. It didn't matter. Jasper ordered me and I complied. I was to get close to him. Get him attached. And then, when given the order, I was to crush him. I wasn't happy with it. The last time I did it in Charlotte, NC, 1937, I was almost killed. I wasn't worried about that this time. Edward was not a threat to me. But Bella was. She was hunting Jasper and I knew that hurting Edward would hurt her even more and I was unsure if I wanted that. Bella was strong, but everyone had their weakness. I had witnessed Jasper's and it wasn't pretty. I wanted to protect her. I liked her. I liked Edward, just not in that way. If I was wise I would have never done it. I would have simply gone against Jasper's orders, but I can't. He is my family. Over two hundred years with him. I couldn't betray him. I never could.
"Ed, just drop this," Bella said. "If you're gay, which you are, then I don't have to be too. Peter, why are you being so quiet?"
"I just enjoy listening to the two of you argue over stupid things," I answered, leaning back against Edward. He leaned forward and kissed me on the neck. I could feel his love for me and I knew that this would not end well at all. I needed to pick my side and I needed to pick it fast.
