Bella's POV

"Why hasn't Peter contacted us yet?" Edward asked.

"Who knows," I answered, "we need to give him time."

"I think Jasper manipulated him into staying," Garrett said.

I laughed at that one. "No one can manipulate Peter into doing anything he doesn't want to," I said and I could tell that Garrett agreed with me. "He'll make contact when it's safe to do so."

"And Jasper?" Garrett asked.

"What about him?" I asked.

"You're just going to go and run into his arms after everything he's done to you? He hurt you, Bella, on purpose."

"So?" I questioned.

"He's not a good vampire; life with him isn't going to be easy or even good."

"You don't understand him," I said, "no one does."

"I think I know him better than you," Garrett said with a laugh. "I've known him for two hundred and fifty years."

"You're bragging and I don't know why," I said. "You claim to know Jasper yet you question me as to why I still want him as my mate."

"Well then, Bella dear, why don't you fucking enlighten me then."

I looked at Garrett and glared at him. I know I owed him nothing but that didn't stop me from explaining myself.

"It was my eighteenth birthday," I said and Edward grunted.

Garrett was sitting on the ground, Edward in front of him, lying back against him. I glared at Edward and he shut his mouth. This was my story to tell, not his.

"It was my birthday and I got a paper cut. Jasper charged me, he wanted to kill me. I could see it in his eyes. But then he calmed down and our eyes locked, really locked and I don't know if it was because of his gift or what, but I could tell exactly what he was feeling. He was lost, sad, frustrated and regretful. In that moment he didn't want to kill me, but he knew that he had to, so he kept on fighting."

"Ah, Bella," Garrett said, "he saw that you were his mate that's why he hesitated."

"Garrett, shut the fuck up and listen to me," I told him. He just didn't know when to keep his mouth shut. "It wasn't the mating pull because that came after this. Jasper didn't want to kill me, I could see that, but he was going to anyway and no one understands why, but I do. I didn't back then, I was only human, but this was one of my only human memories that remained, so I knew it was be important and I vowed to figure out why.

"After I became a vampire I starting digging. I remembered Jasper's scars and I went from there. I knew they were unusual as none of the Cullen's had them and you could only get them from being bitten. It didn't take long before I found out about the wars and I learned as much as I could. How they worked? How the vampires were made? All of it, and things started to fall into place. At first I compared it to humans because that's what I was used to. Everyone who fought in the war experienced something similar to what abuse victims do, total and utter darkness.

"They always say that whoever you surround yourself with, whatever you surround yourself with, well that's what you become. Positivity lifts you up and negativity brings you down. Jasper was in the wars for a century and a half. He was constantly surrounded by only the bad. From the moment he would have awoken he would have been bombarded with feelings of desperation, bloodlust, anger, revenge, everything negative and that never would have let up. Month after month new vampires were changed and old ones were killed. It was a vicious cycle he never would have been able to escape from.

"Years of torment, years of bad emotions, all piling on top of each other. It's like I said, you surround yourself with negativity and that's all you become. Jasper didn't even have a chance and even now he's fighting it. He gets one positive emotion or thought and his mind rebels, it attacks itself until only negativity is left. It doesn't allow in the good because it's not used to it, it doesn't think it deserves it. I've seen Jasper fight it; when he didn't want to kill human me, a split second after when he realized he was my mate, not long ago when I revealed my true feeling to him. He tried to accept it, but mentally and emotionally he couldn't, it wasn't possible.

"Don't you understand it, don't you get it?" I questioned Garrett. "No matter what it is, no matter what he does, it's not Jasper's fault. It's that bitch Maria's fault. She manipulated him, she turned him, she forced him to fight for her, she used his gift, she used him, she made him turn all of those human, made him kill them all when they were no longer useful. I'm sure she made him do more, but I think I've made my point."

"This is all and well," Garrett said, "but you're missing one major point. Peter went through the exact same thing as Jasper and with his gift too and Peter is nowhere near as fucked up as Jasper."

"That's your argument?" I asked. "That's completely invalid."

"Why?"

"Because Jasper protected Peter from everything," I answered. "I've seen Peter's devotion to Jasper firsthand and the only way that would have come about is if Jasper did everything within his power to not allow the darkness to affect Peter. This shows he cares for Peter, so he can learn to care for his mate as well, for me. I know he can and that is why I'm not giving up. Jasper deserves me. He didn't have someone to look out for him like he looked out for Peter, so it's my job to do it. I know that his mind is fucked up, but I don't care. I love him, he is my mate and no matter what he's done, to me or anyone else, I can't blame him fully. It's all about the circumstances. If I was raised in the wars and not with the Cullens then I would be dead because there's no way I would have been able to handle it all, but Jasper did and he still is. He's stronger than all of us and he deserves love. Call me delusional, say I'm under his influence, I don't fucking care, all that matters is what I think and I think he's worth it."

I looked at Garrett and he had his mouth firmly shut. Edward was smiling at me proudly, playing with Garrett's fingers as he did.

"I don't know what your beef with him is," I said to Garrett, "but you need to decide whose side you're on, your own, or mine and Jasper's."

I hoped he would make the right choice, but I knew just how selfish Garrett could be.

"Yours of course, Bella," he said, smiling at me. "I never really thought of it like that. All the darkness Jasper went through, everything he was made to do, how he protected not only Peter but me too… You're right. He didn't deserve this. He's still fucked up, but once you're forged and raised in darkness then that's what you become… He is the Bringer of Darkness for a reason, because of the darkness he endured, I see it now."

I looked at Garrett. I liked that he was starting to understand Jasper better. He was still being an ass about it, but I found that was just him. I didn't know how Edward was going to be able to put up with his shit for eternity though, but that was not my problem. I was just glad to have Garrett on my side and not against it.