IVORY TOWERS


CHAPTER FIVE: The First Test

"Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase."
– Martin Luther King Jr.


Jinora could hardly believe that month one was already so close to being over. It was especially strange because so often her days dragged on agonizingly slowly, but now it felt like in a blink of an eye, almost a full four weeks had sped by, and far too quickly. Now, it was time for her to decide who she was sending home. At first glance, the decision should have been easy. Sending any of the princes home would lessen her burden of putting up with their self-conceited, sexist selves. She had always been a patient person, but the princes pushed her to her limits.

Especially Sudhir. Sending him home would have been a big relief, and certainly would make her whole process far more enjoyable, but...

Jinora chewed her bottom lip, feeling foolish, and turned over in bed. Really, it was quite stupid and unwise, but she couldn't help it. Every time she thought of sending Sudhir home, a tightness settled over her heart. It would be so easy to say goodbye to Sudhir, but Jinora didn't feel ready to say goodbye to Kai. Which she knew deep down it was foolish, because he was a servant and she was a princess and they weren't even technically supposed to be friends. Although that's all they were, she assured herself: friends.

(Why did it feel like she was lying to herself?)

But was keeping that friendship for just a little bit longer worth having to put up with such an arrogant brat? Or, was the question really if it was worth giving up the one boy who had ever seemed to actually like her for who she was, and not just her title, because the man he served was a horrible prick?

When Poppy came to help her get dressed, Jinora was glad for the distraction. Or at least until Poppy asked, "So Princess, who are you sending home tomorrow?"

Jinora sighed. "Poppy, can you please just finish doing up my corset for me?" she requested. With every tug of the strings, the corset tightened, and so did Jinora's throat. Poppy had asked a very good question, after all, and she still didn't feel any closer to finding an answer. Maybe talking with her maid would help. "I'm sorry Poppy," she said, swallowing hard. "But that's just the thing. I don't know."

"You were always fond of making lists as a child," Poppy suggested. "Weighing the pros and cons. You made a list once, remember, for trying to raise a flower in your room when you were five?" Jinora cracked a smile. "You could do the same thing now, and see where that leaves you."

"That...actually helps. Thank you Poppy." But first, Jinora decided, she would seek out Kai. She knew his mornings were typically busy, like hers most days. She was only exempt from her now regular routine of courtship to allow her time to make her decision. She managed to find him near the servants' quarters, a large basket of clothes in his arms.

He did his best to bow respectfully at the sight of her, but Jinora waved her hand dismissively. "It's good to see you Princess," Kai said with a grin.

"It's good to see you too," Jinora inclined her head in a small nod. "What are you doing this afternoon?" she asked him hopefully. Maybe after spending some more time with Kai, it'd be easier to make her decision. She had to give her parents an answer that night.

Kai grimaced. "Chores, I'm afraid. Laundry, some polishing. King Sudhir seems to think he'll still be spending the next month in the castle."

"And you think he won't be?" she said carefully.

Kai flushed. "I, er, assumed," he stammered, "that you would be sending him home. You said it yourself, Princess Jinora, he's the biggest pain out of all of them...So, you're not sending him home?"

"I'm still trying to decide," she admitted. Kai raised his eyebrows. "Anyway, thank you Kai." She gave him a small smile, to which he nodded.

"You too, Princess." Kai tried to smile as she walked away, and to stay focused on the tasks Sudhir had given him. Raava knew the man wasn't a forgiving one. But he struggled all the same. Don't hope, he chided himself. Don't hope do not get your hopes up. She's a princess and you're the servant of a man she hates. You're not enough to have her make him stay.

Still, as much as he tried not to, he couldn't help but hope.


It had been a long time since Jinora had made a list. In the comfort of her bedroom, she dipped her quill into a bottle of ink, staring at the blank piece of parchment in front of her. She wrote pros and cons on either side of the paper. Now, what were the pros to having Sudhir - to having Kai, stay? Well, he made her laugh, he listened (really listened), he was someone she could freely talk to, he gave great book recommendations. He was her friend.

Sudhir, meanwhile, was the opposite. Allowing him to stay would mean putting up with his obnoxious comments and snide remarks. And he wouldn't be staying forever; Jinora would send him and Kai home eventually. Out of all the princes, she knew for certain she would not be marrying Sudhir. It was easy to see that the cons list was much longer than the pros, but it hadn't made things easier like Jinora had expected. If anything, she only felt more conflicted. Perhaps the reason she was struggling so much was all the answer she really needed.

Jinora stepped out onto her balcony, and saw some knights riding horses up one of the cobblestone paths leading into the village. She could still remember her first time on a horse, nervous, as Mako guided her through the steps. It had taken a lot of trust.

Maybe it was time for another leap of faith.