After an infinitely long hiatus, we r bk 2 present AOMINE! Plz enjoi and let's ignore the vv obvious loophole(s) all in the name of crack, shall we? ;)))


It was a normal day for Aomine.

If normal meant sneaking into the staff room to photocopy his butt.

/cue James Bond music/

Aomine could feel the heat against his well-sculpted muscles, feel it torching the tips of his deep blue locks of hair. He could feel his heart pounding against his chest, and the small beads of sweat that trickled down his well-defined features. He had to unbutton the first two buttons of his uniform to release heat like an exothermic reaction.

It was hot. Hot damn.

The tanned teen was currently on a mission. A mission to pop into the staffroom, photocopy his butt, and get out ASAP.

His current location was a three o' clock position adjacent to the staffroom, carefully concealed behind three potted plants (or as carefully concealed a dark skinned, 1.92m tall mass of hulking muscles can be.) . His ughh eyes squinted at the view beyond the thick leaves, predatory and ready for action.

/flashback/

Aomine very coincidentally bumped into Imayoshi at the school gate.

"Ahh~ Well if it isn't Aomine-kun?"

"Haaahh?"
Imayoshi performed a perfect demonstration of his evil smirk, and in quick succession had his junior pushed against the wall.
"Oi-"

A hamburger stuffed with juicy, melt-in-the-mouth beef made its way across Aomine's face. It was difficult for Imayoshi to hide his immense pleasure at the widening of Aomine's ughh eyes.

The latter attempted to snatch the food from his senior, but the sly snake erased it from his sight and reach in an instant.

"Before that, Aomine-kun," he cooed, "I have… a proposition."

Aomine always knew that he would be a slave to food. Which was exactly why he was stuck in this awkward position and wait since when did his leg get wedged between two brown flowerpots?! He proceeded to spend the next two precious minutes of his life trying to extract the brown thing out from between the two other brown things. And when he finally did, it involved knocking over one of the brown things (not his one tho).

The resounding crash shattered the midday silence and Aomine screeched a couple epithets, alerting anyone within a five metre vicinity. Damn, now this was so on, he officially had an estimate of 120.263571459 seconds to get the job done and escape before the authorities arrived.

So Aomine let loose a rly strangled growling sound and charged through the staff room doors, throwing caution to the wind and throwing himself on the photocopier.

BUT

Aomine had clearly been taking naps during Physics lessons, because as everyone knows force = mass x acceleration and pressure = force/area, so the photocopier glass shattered and Aomine felt like his butt had been impaled by glass shards (it actually had).

AOMINE DAIKI
Jerk.
Jerk.
Jerk.
Trash.
With a limited vocabulary and possibly having suffered from arrested development at a young age, his only saving grace was his prodigious talent in basketball, capable of performing the most complicated and mind-blowing of moves. His skin colour made him blend in with flowerpots and soil really well and also made him look the part of the number one delinquent-looking jerk in Touou. He often bumbled about doing stupid things, as the above example clearly demonstrates, more often than not leaving him to deal with the stupid consequences. So sometimes he wondered if it would do him a world of wonder if he wasn't such the insipid idiot he was.

When he opened his eyes, the first thing Aomine saw were the bright, blinding lights, akin to those cliched, overused ones he'd heard about in stupid books (if you thought he read books guess what YOU THOUGHT WRONG). His mildly numb fingers slid over an unidentified object in his hands when he attempted to shift them, eliciting a lazy, drawn-out 'hmm?' from the teen.

Then his olfactory senses kicked in- the familiar mouth-watering aroma wafted into his nostrils and he shot up straight.

It was the hamburger. THE HAMBURGER.

Aomine sniffled a bit. Imayoshi-senpai had not forgotten him! Senpai had finally noticed him!

But in the midst of his blooming kokoro celebration, Aomine suddenly noticed a note stuck to the bottom of the hamburger wrapping. He flipped it over.

It read:
Don't drop that thun thun thun.

"HAHHHHH?!" He spat in equal measures of confusion and shock. Had Imayoshi-senpai gone off his rockers? Did he have a screw loose? Did he need to have anything screwed into him?

This was absolutely ridiculous.

"Well at least I can skip basketball training…"

Aomine looked up from his hamburger and across the room. Ah, so there were others in the room too. There was this narrow-eyed- were they heterochromatic?-red-haired midget in one of the beds staring straight at him, and in the bed next to midget-tan was some creepy green-haired megane nerd whose expression of disgust matched his equally disgusting hair.

Aomine let his gaze drop back to the note in his hand.

Then he stared back at the two dubious shady individuals across.

He stared at the note.

Then back across the room.

Oh. Wait what-

Aomine dropped the thun thun thun.


/badum tss/ THANK YOU 4 READING~