IN THE TIME WE HAVE, Chapter 4

Elsie drew her canteen from the water and pushed herself up from the lake's edge, eager to get back under the relative comfort of the shade – the midday sun was scorching, and the humidity wasn't exactly alleviating her discomfort.

"Let's take a breather, shall we?" called out Lara as she approached from behind, whipping out her own canteen for replenishment.

"Uh, sure…okay…"

Elsie quickly made her way up from the lake. Dropping her pack to the ground, she perched herself on a fallen moss-covered tree trunk, her feet dangling several inches off the ground. From her vantage she watched as Lara plunged her canteen into the pristine waters.

The blonde chewed her lower lip as she replayed the events of the previous day for the umpteenth time; she was immensely grateful the row between the two was over, but equally chagrined to see it immediately replaced with a distinct awkwardness, made all the more frustrating by it being entirely of her own doing.

Cripes Elsie, did you think she was some life-sized doll for you to play with?

She loved Lara, of course. But as a friend. Of course it was only as a friend, she told herself.

Wasn't it?

Her actions had hinted otherwise.

The blonde kicked herself mentally. The brunette had Sam waiting for her back home, after all. And what kind of chance would she have, anyway? Their lives were utterly incompatible, never mind thousands of miles apart, and the last thing she would want is to risk her friendship -

She kicked herself again. Why the hell am I even thinking about that…?

Lara, for her part, continued to behave as though nothing had changed, but whether due to denial or a desire to shelter Elsie from discomfort, the blonde couldn't tell. This in and of itself rattled her: she could normally read the brunette so well, but now the roles had seemingly reversed. Whatever Lara was playing at, she was keeping it very close to her chest.

Elsie tensed as the archaeologist made her way back from the lakeshore.

Just relax, Trainor...she's not gonna eat you for crying out loud...

Dropping her pack, the brunette propped herself up on the log next to the American. Uncomfortably close in fact, with barely a hand's breath separating the two.

"Hot today, huh," remarked Elsie nervously, her eyes fixed on an unremarkable patch of bramble a few yards ahead.

She could feel Lara's gaze on her.

Silence. The only sound was the gentle lapping of the lake's waves against the shore.

The blonde fidgeted apprehensively.

Lara sided over until their hips touched.

Oh God

Elsie's entire body stiffened. She found herself holding her breath and had to consciously force her lungs to draw in precious air.

"I hope you've invested in peanut stocks?" asked the archaeologist matter-of-factly.

"I - what?"

"You'll need them," explained Lara, "If you plan on feeding that elephant in the room long-term."

Shit...

"I...I don't - "

"Look at me."

Elsie's heart was pounding.

"I - I can hear you just fine..."

"You didn't have any problems looking at me last night, Elsie," said Lara.

Oh fuck, here it comes...

"Come on," insisted the archaeologist. "I'm not keen on talking to ears..."

Elsie swallowed hard.

She turned to the brunette. Lara was gazing upon her with doleful eyes.

"So are we going to talk about this," said the archaeologist, "Or are we adopting a pachyderm?"

"I…I don't know what to say, Lara," breathed Elsie. "I'm sorry for last night..."

Lara tilted her head slightly and frowned. "Why are you apologizing?"

"I don't know what I was thinking," said the blonde. "I just…zoned out...I'm sorry for weirding you out like that..."

"It was...different, I'll admit," acknowledged the Englishwoman. "But you certainly didn't 'weird me out', Elsie. It was...oddly nice, actually."

Elsie blinked. "You...you're not upset?"

The brunette shrugged. "Well, I was a bit gutted that you didn't think you could talk to me," she said sadly. "I waited hoping you would, but…"

She paused, seeming to ponder the blonde. "Elsie, you've shown me so much affection, and then suddenly last night you were doing your best fetal impression. Is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"I'm sorry for that – "

"Stop apologizing!"

"Sorry."

The brunette sighed.

Elsie buried her face in her hands. "God I'm hopeless…"

Lara pulled the blonde's hands away from her face. She gently raised her friend's chin and gazed into her eyes.

"Bullocks," she said firmly. "Elsie, you may be the sweetest soul I've ever known...I consider myself blessed to have you in my life."

Elsie could feel the tears bubbling up within her.

"But I think you have to be honest with yourself," continued the archaeologist. "Don't you?"

God no, thought Elsie. I can't be…

There was a knowing sadness in Lara's eyes - the brunette was so close…

Elsie caught herself leaning forward – and pulled back hastily.

Her retreat was suddenly interrupted by Lara's mouth somehow pressing against her own.

The suppleness of the brunette's lips astonished her. If Elsie had been on her feet her liquefying knees would have sent her crumpling unceremoniously to the ground. Her already racing heart surged into dangerous territory.

The American's senses overloaded; her eyes clouded over, sounds became muted. Only the softness of the brunette's flesh still registered in her quickly fading mind. The pressure from the Englishwoman's lips increased as she felt an arm wrap around her shoulders, a gentle hand cradling the back of her head.

The dizziness became overwhelming. She could feel herself floating away -

Lara...

- until darkness overtook her.

-oOo-

"Elsie?"

The American slowly emerged from the darkness, the muffled voice at first barely registering; she could sense she was lying on the ground as colours and shapes slowly coalesced into form.

Brown eyes hovering above hers, wide with concern, so close that Elsie could readily make out flecks of gold and amber within the beautiful brown irises.

Good God

She wondered if there any part of her friend that was not over-the-top gorgeous.

"Lara…?" she croaked.

"Hey," breathed the brunette, a relieved smile creasing her features as she brushed the blonde's hair from her forehead. "Glad you're back…you frightened me for a moment there…"

"Thought you'd…pulled a Poison Ivy on me?" whispered Elsie.

"I was rather hoping not!"

"What a way to go, though…" said the blonde dreamily, a faraway smile painted on her face.

"Well someone seems to be feeling a little better," said Lara slyly.

"Are you kidding, that kiss could've revived Ötzi the Iceman…"

"Yuck!"

"You're the archaeologist," said Elsie, the cobwebs slowly sweeping from her mind. "That should be right up your alley…think of the history…"

"I draw the line at snogging corpses," said Lara, shuddering. "I think I'd rather eat your orang, thank you."

The blonde laughed softly at that.

The two young women gazed at each other in silence.

Elsie tried to make sense of it all; Lara's kiss had swept away all doubts as to her underlying feelings for the brunette, but it had also opened up a gigantic Pandora's Box.

She pushed herself up to a sitting position, taking a moment to steady herself from her lingering grogginess.

"Where do we go from here, Lara?" she asked. "We can't pretend this didn't happen…can we?"

The brunette looked uncertain. "No, we can't," she finally voiced. "We just...carry on, don't we?"

Elsie let out a deep breath. "This…makes things so complicated…"

Lara grasped Elsie's hand. "It doesn't have to be," she said softly.

The blonde blinked.

"How can't it?" she asked. "Lara, your life is out there…and mine's here…and I don't see either of us leaving that behind…"

"I know," said the brunette quietly.

"…and…you have Sam…"

Lara's eyes became downcast. "Yes," she whispered.

Elsie tilted her head.

"Is everything all right between you two?"

The brunette hesitated.

"I…have been asking myself that same question," said Lara. "I haven't been a very good companion of late…but I hope so…"

"And now I'm the fly in the ointment," added Elsie.

Lara looked at her. "No," she said earnestly. "You're not."

Something about the brunette's expression intrigued her.

"What are you saying, Lara?" she asked delicately.

The Englishwoman swallowed hard. "Elsie…I've danced with Death more times than I care to remember," she explained. "And I've lost many good friends as a direct result of that. But at the same time I know I'm doing what I was put on this Earth to do, I know this beyond doubt…and I'm having a really hard time trying to reconcile that. Sometimes I feel that I'm destined more for filling Charon's purse than finding the truth hiding out there in the world..."

She sighed. To Elsie the brunette suddenly seemed immensely tired.

"I'm zonked out, Elsie," she said softly. "Knackered…I need to clear my head of some seriously dark shite…and…well…"

The Englishwoman bit her lip momentarily before continuing, gazing into the blonde's grey eyes.

"A bit of love in my life…even in the time we have…sounds really good right now," she said, her voice cracking.

"Lara…are you...sure you're okay with this?" asked Elsie.

The brunette nodded solemnly. "I don't want you walking on eggshells around me like last night," she said. "Let's just…take it as it comes, shall we? Whatever happens…happens."

Elsie's heart grew enough that she thought it would burst from her chest and make a redeemed Grinch proud.

She launched herself at the archaeologist like a cannonball.

"Tackleglomp!" she squealed, colliding full-force with Lara and wrapping herself around the startled Englishwoman.

"Oof!" gasped the archaeologist as she fell heavily backward, covered in a blonde blanket that was vigorously snuggling the hollow between the brunette's ear and jawbone.

"Ow! Ow! Elsie - I'm on a rock - "

The blonde pushed herself off instantly. "Shit! Lara, I'm sorry!"

"It's okay," said Lara painfully, pushing herself up and tossing the offending stone into the brush. She looked to her friend and smiled reassuringly.

"Dammit, I keep doing that to you don't I?" lamented Elsie.

"I'm fine, really," said the brunette, shaking a few dried leaves from her ponytail, "It was just sticking in the small of my back…bugger though, Elsie, you didn't have to unleash it all at once...we have days yet..."

"Sorry," breathed Elsie, clasping her hands together. "But…Lara, I'm just so happy…"

"Really, I wouldn't have guessed," said Lara with a wry smile.

"Can we…oh..."

"What?"

"Could we just make camp here for today?" asked the blonde excitedly. "I know it's just midday and all, but…suddenly I don't feel much like hiking…"