A/N - ALL RIGHT MAYBE IT WAS MORE LIKE TWO MONTHS AND MAYBE I SHOULDN'T MAKE PROMISES I'M NOT ABSOLUTELY SURE I CAN KEEP. BUT I'M ACTUALLY REALLY PROUD OF THIS CHAPTER SO I HOPE IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT. I'll have the fifth and final chapter up as soon as I can.

Chapters like this are what I have a sad music playlist for. (orchestra starts in the background) Dormire liberi, dulci pueri dormite...

~0~

It wasn't as if Azula would ever admit it to him, or to anyone for that matter, but sometimes spending time with Zuko could be worth her while. Her brother fell short at most things, but even he could be good at a simple game. Then again, tag was a hard thing to mess up, and he probably only liked it because neither of them could really be better than the other, but what did that matter? It was fun, so why should she point any of that out and ruin it for herself? More than that, from the quick glances she stole at their mother, this was one of those occasions where she looked on her daughter with approval in her eyes. It wouldn't last, Azula knew - she could pretend that this peaceful moment was all there was for an hour at the most, if she were luckier than usual - but still, though it was in the long run pointless, there was a part of her that wouldn't mind it stretching out forever. In fact, though it would probably give Zuko a chance to get further ahead of her, she turned quickly and took another look at Mother -

Oh. A messenger was just leaving, how had she not noticed him before? When her eyes landed on the letter in Mother's hands, for just a moment, a thrill of excitement ran through her. Maybe Lu Ten wrote back! I bet they broke through the wall by now and he - Those hopeful thoughts stopped short when she saw the look on their mother's face. Where Uncle Iroh's last letter had brightened the woman's features, this one made her whole body sag with quiet, resigned despair. A sudden wave of fear washed any hope of good news away, and she put on a burst of speed to grab Zuko's arm and tug hard, stopping him short.

"Ow!" he complained. "Azula, stop it, what are you d - "

"Look!" she said, pointing at their mother. Zuko followed her gaze, and his annoyed look faded immediately, replaced with one of worry. Both siblings had the same thought: What is going on?

Feeling her children's eyes on her, Ursa looked up. She didn't bother to force the sorrow from her face, she knew she wouldn't be able to. It would be of no use anyway; they were both more than intelligent enough to see through a false smile. There really was no good way to deliver news like this, nor was there a way to take it well, but Ursa had always found that it was best to be direct about these things. She stood up, and looked her children in the eyes. "Iroh has lost his son. Your cousin, Lu Ten, did not survive the battle."

Instantly, Azula felt her body go cold and numb, like someone had dunked her in ice water. Zuko sucked in a shocked gasp, his eyes wide and disbelieving. "He...H-He's dead?" he breathed, sounding as if the words had knocked the air out of him.

"I'm afraid so. I'm sorry, darling."

"But...He...That can't be, that can't..." Zuko said weakly, trying to find some way to deny what he had just been told. Unable to find the words, he turned to his sister, not knowing what he was looking for but not expecting what he saw.

At first glance, Azula did not appear to react at all, but she stood rigid and unmoving, as if frozen to the spot. Her eyes were wide and her jaw hung open; she looked as if she'd been slapped. Ursa's words were repeating in her head, over and over: Your cousin, Lu Ten, did not survive the battle...Lu Ten did not survive...Lu Ten... She heard herself whisper the small, disbelieving word: "No..."

Zuko had never seen her this way before, shocked and vulnerable and with tears in her eyes that she didn't seem to notice, and he wasn't sure how he was supposed to handle it. But for the first time in a long time, his heart hurt for his younger sister. He went quickly over to her, reaching a hand out to touch her shoulder the way Mother would do with him if he was upset. "Azula..I-It's okay...It's going to be oka - "

But feeling her brother's hand on her and hearing his attempt at comfort seemed to snap Azula out of her daze. Her face twisted with anger and she smacked Zuko's arm away, making him jump back, startled. "You're so stupid!" she shouted. "It's not okay! It's not going to be! It never will be!" She couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and she felt a sharp stab of humiliation as they spilled down her face. She couldn't stay here. Not here, where everyone could see her. Not for another second!

She turned and sprinted from the courtyard, and a hurt and bewildered Zuko, holding his smarting hand, stared after her for a moment. It was still shocking to not only see his sister upset, but also to see her cry, but that shock wasn't strong enough that anger couldn't come rushing quickly in at her rejection. "I was just trying to help!" he shouted after her. "Can't you see that?!"

But she was already out of sight, and if she had heard him, she didn't answer.

~0~

The palace halls were reduced to a red blur in Azula's vision as she ran towards her room, the only place she could think of to go for just a little bit of privacy. The palace's many secret passages and hideaways would likely have been better, but she didn't yet know her way around them well enough to not get lost. Lu Ten had said once that he would teach her and Zuko how to memorize the routes and maneuver in them. ("Agni forbid that you're ever in enough danger that you need to use them to get out fast, but to be safe you'd better know. After all, even if you don't have to use them to protect yourselves, who knows when one of you is going to want to sneak in a gentleman or lady friend with them when you're older?" he'd said, winking and then laughing when both his cousins rolled their eyes at the mention of his then-frivolous love life.) He'd promised to teach them so many things once he came back from the battlefield.

And now...

She hated the sting of tears in her eyes, hated it. If her father saw her now, he would laugh at her, mock her, probably snap at her to stop being so weak. And he would be right to do so. This was weakness and vulnerability at its worst, but there was nothing Azula could do about it. That was the thought that hit her like a punch in the gut: her cousin - her brave, powerful, loving cousin - was dead, and there was nothing she could do to make it right. Some great prodigy she was, she thought bitterly; she was completely useless.

Thankfully, she reached her room quickly, ignored by the few servants she'd noticed out of the corners of her eyes. News traveled quickly in this court, and from the split-second glimpses of pity on their faces, she could tell they knew exactly why their young princess was so upset. She hated all of them too, them and their pity both. She threw open her door and slammed it shut behind her the second she ran in, and collapsed onto her bed, burying her face in a pillow. Her whole body was shaking, and the soft red fabric quickly grew damp under her eyes. Zuko could deny reality all he liked, and she could wish she could do the same, but there was no getting away from this.

Her mother had not elaborated on what exactly had happened to him at Ba Sing Se...Everyone always went on and on about how Lu Ten was an unstoppable war hero, so what exactly could have been strong enough to finally stop him for good? How had they done it? Unwanted images of what she'd read in the palace library, overheard from the soldiers, and directly heard from her father about the sort of gruesome things that could happen to a soldier on the battlefield (the way her aunt Kei Rin had died being one of the least agonizing among them) began to float into her mind, and her stomach lurched horribly.

Needing something, anything, to force those nauseating thoughts out of her head, she lifted her head and looked around the room, and her eyes landed on the small, polished wooden box she kept on her nightstand, that had a picture of a hawk in flight and the characters of Lu Ten's name on it. Part of her noted that going through the contents of that box would hardly be less painful, but she didn't care. Better to remember what she loved about her cousin than to keep wondering just how he had been killed. She reached over and set the box on the bedspread in front of her, opening the lid to see all the letters he had sent her over the past year and a half. It had become something of a habit for Azula to look through these every once in a while, and she kept them carefully arranged by date of arrival. She leafed through the paper, not quite sure what she was looking for, skimming the letters she passed over.

I promise, the second I get home, I'm taking you and Zuko on a shirshu ride; Nyla is the best! I think Hakkai's a bit jealous, though, he and Nyla growl at each other whenever they meet. It makes it kind of hard to ride next to Jun, I'll have to try and train him out of it. Why can't our animals get along like we do?

Sorry you don't like my dad's presents. I keep telling him he's sending the wrong things, but I don't think he gets it. He's got this idea in his head of what girls like and all that, and he really means well, but he doesn't actually have a clue about what you personally would enjoy. He does a bit better with Zuko because he tends to like stereotypically 'boyish' things a lot more than you like stereotypically 'girlish' things. I'll try to talk some more sense into him, but in the meantime, I hope you enjoy the books I sent you. I know you love learning about military strategy, and I found The Dragon Rider's Journal to be a very interesting read. Honestly, I'll never understand how the idea of killing them for sport got into Great-grandfather's head. Such a pointless waste, of such amazing and loyal creatures.

You want to go into the army when you get older, right? One piece of advice for you, since I know you'll be more than good enough to get into a legitimate position of command: when you do, you've got to treat your troops right. You know that old saying about how you catch more spider-flies with honey than vinegar? It's totally true. My soldiers all say they love me because I'm so protective and considerate of them (their words, not mine, I really don't want to brag). If you want people to be loyal to you, that's what you have to do too.

About your last letter - I'm glad you told me that, even if I'm too far away to do anything about it right now. (Don't worry, I'll make sure your dad doesn't find out you wrote to me. You're fine.) Take it from someone who loves you dearly, Azula: he is dead wrong. He has no right to call you weak if you don't immediately master something. You're doing the absolute best you can, and it's perfectly fine to not get something right away.

I know you said in your last letter that you think my friend Gisei is too timid to be a good soldier (and you might like to know that Nageki was very happy that my cousin approves of him). All right, I'll admit that he's on the skittish side usually. But even if he's as not as gung-ho about everything as Nageki is, he's a loyal friend to me, and I'd say he's one of the most all-around decent people in this army. He'd lay down his life for me just as surely as I would for him.

Finally, her searching fingers reached the back of the box, and she pulled out the last letter that Lu Ten had sent to her, dated two months ago. She had only had time to read it once, and she had practically forgotten what the last things he had said to her had been.

I think I'm coming home soon, Azula. By the time this letter gets to you, it'll be just about time to finish this siege once and for all, according to Dad and the other generals. I always knew I'd be happy to hear that, but never quite this happy. To tell you the truth, sometimes I'm just so tired of this place, of this war, of all the blood and death. But everything's going to be better from now on because of what I and my comrades have done here. I'm helping make a huge step towards peace in the Earth Kingdom. I'm going to bring Jun back home to live with me, and then we're going to be married. (She was teasing me with the whole 'I'll follow you anywhere' line. But she told me later that she would marry me if I came back and asked her, and she meant that). And then, I promise, I will do everything in my power to make sure I never have to leave you and your brother for this long ever again. It'll be even better than it was before. I'll be your sifu again (I think Uncle Ozai's held my position long enough), and we can -

Her vision was blurring too much for her to read any more, and she dropped the letter, sinking back down onto the pillows with a sob. An hour ago, she could have read those words and been filled with happiness and certainty that what her cousin was doing was worth the risks, that he would return to her before she knew it, that he would make everything okay again. Now all it was, was a pointless little fantasy that could only hurt her.

Just then, there was a knock at her door. It was a light, subdued sound, but it made Azula bite back a scream and dig her nails into the pillow, wishing it were her brother's face. Hadn't she made it clear enough that she just wanted the idiot to leave her alone?! "Go away, Zuko!" she shouted, not caring how awfully the crying distorted her voice.

"It's not Zuko." Her breath hitched again at the wholly unexpected sound of her mother's voice, and she didn't answer. Ursa went on, "If you want to be alone for a while, that's perfectly all right. Just tell me, and I'll go. But if you don't say anything, I'm coming in."

Her first instinct was to act as she normally would and tell her just that. But, part of her reasoned, she was already being, as her father would put it, "sickeningly vulnerable." Why not just admit for once that she wanted her mother's comfort? So she stayed silent, and in a moment Ursa opened the door, shut it behind her to give them privacy, and walked over to sit beside her daughter on the bed. "Oh, my girl..." she crooned, laying a hand on Azula's shoulder, not overlooking the way the child tensed at her touch. "I'm so sorry. I know you must be hurting so much right now...I truly hate seeing you this way; I wish there was some way I could make everything all right."

Azula lifted her head to look at Ursa. She wasn't stupid: she knew full well what this woman really thought of her, however much she pretended to care about her. She had heard the words clear as day, when her mother had shouted furiously at her father, You've turned her into a monster! Her uncle had once admonished her for liking to listen in on conversations, warning her that eavesdroppers never heard anything good. Well, he'd been right on that count, Azula had thought, because she would be much happier if she had never found out the truth. But it was strange: she saw no hint of pity or false compassion in Ursa's eyes. And there was still the question of why she had chosen to be here comforting the child that she feared and detested, instead of fawning all over precious Zuko as per the norm?

She didn't understand it. But she was not about to look a gift ostrich-horse in the mouth. Just for once, she could allow herself this moment of weakness, and her father would never need to know. So when her mother opened her arms to her, said softly, "Come here, darling," she did not hesitate to throw herself into them, burying her face against her shoulder. Ursa's heart twisted as she pulled her trembling daughter close to her, running a gentle hand up and down her back. "It's okay. I know it hurts. This is the first time you've lost someone you dearly love, isn't it?"

Azula nodded, sniffling into the older princess' dress. "It...It does hurt. Wh-Why did it have to be him?"

"I've asked myself that question many times before, when some of the people I love passed on. And I'm afraid I still don't know the answer. Agni only knows why some live and others die. But I do know this: it's going to be all right. I understand that it doesn't feel like that now, but you're going to be all right. You're a strong girl; no matter how painful this is, you can get through it."

"O-Okay..."

Normally, she would have skeptically brushed Ursa's words off, but she tried her best to take them to heart now. At the moment, they were weak comfort, but comfort nonetheless. It didn't answer the questions that came into her mind like stabs to the heart - why couldn't her cousin have fought harder to live? Why had he decided to offer up his own life, worth so much more than almost anyone else's? Why didn't his friends, his father, anyone protect him or help him? Why? - but it did make her feel better, even more so because they were coming from her mother. She could count on her fingers the number of times that sweet and soothing tone had been directed at her instead of her brother and still have some left over, and the cold, cynical part of her didn't miss the rather ridiculous fact that it took a violent death in the family to make Ursa show affection for her. But then again, it was infinitely better than anything Ozai would do, and if this was the best she could get, then she supposed it wasn't bad at all. This is what you wanted, wasn't it? she thought. Take what you can while you can get it.

"Okay..." she said again, half to herself. She curled up closer to her mother and closed her eyes, trying to enjoy the feeling of warmth and safety while it lasted.

Ursa moved her hand upward, softly stroking her daughter's hair. "Lu Ten used to tell me, over and over again, what a fantastic bender you are and how strong you were becoming. He was always so proud of you, darling. He would be very happy to see how much better you've gotten."

Proud of me like you never are, Azula thought but didn't dare say out loud. "But...now he can't see me. I can't ever show him everything I wanted to."

"Perhaps not. But you know, many of the Fire Sages have said that it's possible for those who have passed on to watch over their living loved ones from the Spirit World. Perhaps Lu Ten will be watching over you and Zuko from now on."

"M-Maybe..." She tried not to cry harder at the mention of her brother. Couldn't go five minutes without bringing him into this, could you?

"Whether it's true or not - and I personally have always believed that it is - the most important thing to remember is that your cousin loved you dearly, as if you were his own sister. You'll remember that, won't you?"

"I will," she murmured. I'll remember that he loved me much more than you do. More than anyone else does. It shouldn't have been him who died.

~0~

The lingering scent of incense was almost as thick in the corridors as it was in the courtyard, and through the windows Azula could see the light of the candles, still flickering even after the last embers of the pyre they surrounded had died away. It had been a wonderful ceremony, as funerals went, she'd heard everyone saying. No expense spared to send the heroic warrior prince to the Spirit World in as honorable a fashion as possible. It made certain that Agni would receive his favored child with open arms, and welcome him warmly into his next life, as the Fire Sages said. One thing was for sure, she was never going to forget it.

Azula had heard people talk about it before - from some curious girls at school to the soldiers who'd made it home alive - but she had never actually seen a lifeless body before. She hadn't known what to expect when, in the time set aside before the funeral for family to have one last private moment with their lost loved one, she went up to her cousin's body lying neatly on a platform. Neither she nor her brother had ever seen a dead person before (Father hadn't bothered with a final family farewell to Azulon, and his body had been covered by a shroud at his funeral), and the reality of it both did and did not match the picture that had formed in her mind at the idea.

The burial shroud hadn't been placed over him yet, his eyes had been closed, and he lay completely still: if they hadn't known for sure that Lu Ten was dead, they could have mistaken him for just being asleep at first glance, turning the experience surreal and unsettling right from the beginning. Father had only knelt before the body for as long as would be properly respectful and not a second longer. When he exited the room, leaving his children to deal with it on their own, Azula saw that he had arranged his features into a perfect mask of stoicism, and she wondered fleetingly what his true feelings were.

The two of them had approached him - it, now that what had once been their cousin was now only lifeless flesh? She didn't know - slowly, hesitantly. Normally, she would have taunted Zuko about being such a coward he was afraid of something already dead, but she was nervous too, and she didn't think that teasing her brother would make her feel any better or braver about it this time. They both knelt in front of the platform, as was proper, to offer their prayers to Agni for their cousin's safe retrieval. The words entered her mind again - For he who offered his own life for the lives of his brethren, whose life was extinguished to fuel the flame of his nation, Great Agni, spirit of fire, give eternal warmth and peace - and again she hoped they were being heard somewhere.

When they had finished that, however, they had not been quite sure what to do. This was normally the time when family would get together and talk, sharing fond memories of the dead person's life with them. But Father couldn't be bothered to, Mother had disappeared, Uncle Iroh had been allowed a solitary viewing before them and was already gone. It was only Zuko and Azula left, and neither sibling felt like talking to the other in general now, let alone here. Sharing fond memories would only be a painful reminder of how much life could change, and had changed, and how it would never be the same again.

So they had not spoken to or even looked at each other, and instead turned their eyes to the body in front of them. Azula didn't know about Zuko, but the sight made her heart twist painfully, and she had felt like bursting into tears all over again. She knew all about how morticians needed to preserve bodies with special solutions to keep them from rotting before they were presented to their families, and army doctors needed to use even more to preserve the body long enough to hold it together for the long voyage home. But even so, how could they ruin her cousin like this? It looked like Lu Ten (of course it did, it was him - had been him?) and was dressed in shining black armor, as his own, battle-scarred armor would be buried with him, along with other choice personal possessions of his. But it was like a fake version of him, a copy molded in cheap wax. The lips were too thin and abnormally stretched, the face was sunken, and the skin was wan and pasty. This wasn't Lu Ten. This image that made her sick to her stomach wasn't what she wanted to associate with him. She couldn't remember her cousin like this.

Not bothering to see what Zuko thought of all this, Azula had abruptly turned and walked away from the body as quickly as she could without betraying how desperate she was to get out of there. No more displays of weakness, she'd decided, not like when she'd first gotten the news. No one should see what was going on in her head any more. Vulnerability like that could never do her any good. As she retreated back down the halls to her room, she had been sure to keep her face perfectly blank of emotions, in the same sort of mask she'd seen her father wear. If he could do it, so could she.

It had been relatively easy to keep it up then, but the actual funeral had been a different matter entirely. Unlike her grandfather's funeral, where it had been necessary for her and Zuko to be directly next to the pyre alongside their father, they had been allowed to stand at the front of the crowd with most of the other upper-class mourners. Azula had said nothing about it, but for once she was glad not to be in such a prominent position as Ozai and Iroh (who stood respectfully with the Fire Sages alongside the pyre) because, as they were both from the high nobility, Mai and Ty Lee were able to be beside the royal siblings this time.

It had been gut-wrenching enough getting through this funeral even with the two of them there - Zuko was no help at all - and she didn't want to know what it would have been like without them. Through the whole thing, it had been unusually difficult to breathe normally, and her eyes burned with the effort of trying not to cry again. Even though there had been nothing she wanted to do more than let go and allow the tears to fall, that hadn't been an option. Father had been watching, and she didn't dare let him think her soft, or suspect that she did not agree with him as much as she had assured him she did about how Lu Ten's death, while tragic, had been all for the best. She could not let him think that she was as foolish or softhearted as Zuko, who had abandoned all pretense of composure and was sobbing his heart out while gripping Mai's hand tightly, for once uncaring of and unaffected by how Ozai glared disapprovingly at him. Always the lucky one, she thought, feeling the familiar sting of envy.

The head Fire Sage stepped forward and began to speak, in a ringing voice that carried over the whole courtyard: "Lu Ten, second prince of the Fire Nation. You proved your worth as a great leader in the retaking of Isle Kodachi. You fought with the strength of dozens in the destruction of Tanisawa Stronghold. You pressed on relentlessly at the Siege of Ba Sing Se, and refused to surrender even at your dying breath. You were the first and only son of Prince Iroh and of Princess Kei Rin, now passed. You have left neither a widow, nor children, but your legacy will not be forgotten. We lay you to rest."

With those words, two of the attending sages stepped forward, and simultaneously launched streams of fire at Lu Ten's pyre, setting it ablaze. Azula couldn't keep her breath from hitching as she watched her cousin's body go up in flames, and heard her brother let out a particularly loud and pained cry. Shut up, she had wanted to yell at him, feeling her throat start to close up, painfully tightly, shut up, if I can't do that, neither can you...

On her right side, Mai squeezed her hand reassuringly, while on her left side Ty Lee wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tight. She thought she might have heard them whispering some words of comfort, too, but she wasn't listening hard enough to make them out. All she could hear was the hissing and crackling of the fire as it burned higher and stronger, the sparks and curls of dark smoke rising up towards the dark sky, as it turned what was left of her cousin to ashes. The sight made her eyes sting, with both heat and unshed tears, but she could not have looked away if she had tried.

The question still gnawed at her: Why, in the name of all the spirits, did it have to be Lu Ten who died? Why not Zuko, the useless, whining attention hog; why not Ursa, who lied to and abandoned her; why not Iroh, who had failed to do his duty as a general and a father and either protect or avenge his son? Agni, she would even prefer that it were her father being burned on the pyre, instead of the one royal who deserved death the least! One small, rebellious part of her thought she might like that better, with the domineering man's shadow off of her forever and her valiant, purehearted cousin always beside her instead, with the Heir's Flame in his topknot, set to become the most powerful man in the nation. It would be safer that way, at least, and happier. But she could not think about things like that: to do so would be treason now.

She didn't know how long it had taken for the flames to consume every last bit of him, and with one final prayer the crowd of mourners had slowly dispersed. Her father had been the first of them to go, turning back into the palace with a smile and a sweep of his robes. Her uncle had stayed behind to assist the Fire Sages in clearing away the remains and transporting them to Lu Ten's tomb in the Dragonbone Catacombs. All too soon, her friends had been whisked away by their parents (though not before each of them could get in one final hug), and Agni only knew where her brother was. It didn't matter; the only thing she wanted right now was for this exhausting day to be over. And it would have gone just that way, if she hadn't happened to overhear two familiar voices talking in an adjacent hallway.

"Prince Zuko, you cannot judge your sister so harshly. Remember that she is hurting just as much as you are."

"Hmph. Could've fooled me. Did you even see her before? I mean, it was his funeral and she didn't even cry. She didn't even look sad! It was like...like she just didn't feel anything at all. That's so creepy, who acts like that?"

With every word out of her brother's mouth, anger mounted higher and heat burned stronger in Azula's chest. First Mother, now you...Does everyone insult me behind my back?!

"It's better than acting the way you did," she retorted as she turned the corner and advanced towards them, taking vindictive pleasure in how badly Zuko jumped at realizing she'd heard him. "At least I could hold myself together. You were crying and wailing like a little brat. No wonder Dad says you're a disgrace."

Zuko's entire face went red, and he clenched his fists. "Shut up! Dad would never say that! And you shouldn't be listening in on private conversations anyway!"

"What do you mean, private? You're not the only ones allowed here, you know! If you don't want anyone to hear you, then don't go running your mouth off in the middle of the hall!"

"Don't tell me what to do! I'll talk wherever I want!"

The siblings were in each other's faces at this point, and Iroh, fearing that they might start throwing punches in a minute, gently but firmly laid a hand on their shoulders and moved them both away from each other. "Now, now, calm down, both of you. There is no need to shout, I'm sure you can settle this in a peaceful - " Neither child was interested enough in that idea to even let Iroh finish the sentence.

"Why should I? He's the one who started it, talking about me behind my back because he's too much of a coward to say anything to my face!"

"I only said that because it was true! At least I'm not a liar like you! At least I actually loved Lu Ten enough to feel something when they were burning up his body!"

"What did you just say?! Did you just imply that I don't love our cousin?!" Dad couldn't kill you, but I'm about to!

Again, Iroh attempted to defuse the situation. "I am sure your brother did not mean it the way you thought. We know you cared deeply for Lu Ten - "

"More than you did!" Azula snapped, turning on him. "You're the one who brought him to war and let him die!"

Iroh was too taken aback by the sudden, vicious accusation to do anything more than blink in surprise, but Zuko retaliated instead. "Don't go there, Azula," he growled. "Don't you dare."

"Shut up, Zuko. Who do you think you are, Mom?" The thought crossed her mind that maybe Zuko was right to warn her off, that their uncle was not the correct outlet for her fury. It was quickly dismissed: she could not be in the wrong here. "If it had been us fighting with Dad, he would have protected us instead of letting us get killed! If Uncle were in danger, Lu Ten would have protected him too! But he did nothing to protect Lu Ten! Nothing at all! He and everyone else, after everything he did for them...They just let him die!"

His sister's hands were shaking and her eyes blazed so intensely that Zuko, startled and reminded disturbingly of their father, took an instinctive step back. "A-Azula..." He stopped himself from telling her to calm down, he knew better than to think that would do anything but make things worse. "A-Are you okay?" he offered weakly. Demons take me, that's not going to work either...

"Okay?!" Nope. Didn't think so. "Of course I'm not okay, you idiot! But you two seem to be!"

"Princess Azula, please understand," Iroh began, slowly and quietly. "If there had been anything, anything at all, that I could have done to save Lu Ten, I would have. I would have gladly given my life for his."

"But you didn't," she snarled, not bothering to keep the bite of hatred out of her voice. How could he be so calm about this?! "You didn't protect him. You didn't save him. Now he's dead and there's nothing anyone can do about it! You...You killed your own son, and you can't take that back! You can never make it right!"

"Azula!" Zuko shouted, scandalized. "Don't say that! What's wrong with you?!"

He really was trying to be just like Mother, wasn't he? Azula ignored him and kept her focus on Iroh, who was looking as if she'd sucker punched him. "And not only that, you didn't even try to avenge him. You gave up on the fight he died trying to win! You didn't just make his death meaningless - hundreds of other soldiers were killed at Ba Sing Se! Thanks to you, every single one of them died for absolutely nothing! You should have given up your life to save Lu Ten. He should have been the one to come back alive! He wouldn't have given up; if it had been you that was killed he'd have burned the city to the ground to make sure you were avenged. He wasn't a coward like you! Everyone would be better off if you had died instead of him!"

And before either of them could respond, she whipped around and ran back the way she came and out of sight (if she could get the last word in, she reasoned, it would sink in more to them), leaving the two princes staring after her, one furious and the other stunned. The former was the first to speak: "Who does she think she is?! She can't talk to you like that!"

"I..." The word came out soft and weak at first, and it took a moment for Iroh to recover enough to speak clearly again. "I do not think she meant it."

"Are you serious, Uncle?! She - "

"I know. But understand, Prince Zuko, that different people deal with pain and loss in very different ways. I find it likely that, in her grief, your sister lashes out and says things she intends to be cruel and hurtful, but that she does not mean. At least, I fervently hope she did not really mean that."

Zuko was wholly unconvinced. "Hmph. I doubt it. You don't understand, Uncle - I told you, this is how she always is, ever since you and Lu Ten left."

"Is that so...?" Iroh's brow furrowed as the long-ago memory of another angry child, glaring up at him with resentment in his gold eyes, entered his mind. It's your fault Dad doesn't care about me! Everything would be better if you weren't around! The things Zuko had already told him about the unsettling change in Azula's behavior made it all the more uncomfortably familiar. She is becoming more and more like her father, Iroh thought, just as Lu Ten feared.

"And the worst part is, I don't understand why," Zuko went on. His vehemence fizzled out as sadness and confusion made their way in, and his shoulders sagged despondently. "We used to get along okay, didn't we? I just don't get it...Nothing is the same anymore."

"I know, nephew, I know. You've had a difficult time of it as well. But you are a resilient young man, like your cousin always was. You can and will get through any hardships that come your way."

"...I hope so," Zuko said quietly, unconvinced. "I think...No offense, I'm glad you're here, Uncle, but...I think that everything wouldn't seem as bad as it is if Mom were still here."

Iroh did not allow his suspicions about the boy's parents to show on his face. He would not create crisis in his nation by challenging Ozai's apparently legitimate claim to the throne, especially not at a time like this, but he would be a fool not to see that there was more to his father's death and his sister-in-law's little vanishing act than anyone else realized. However, he knew better than to let on any of that to Zuko, who was dealing with enough already without the heavy knowledge of the royal family's tendencies towards corruption and murder. He wondered how much Azula, always the more perceptive child and the one closest to Ozai, knew about it all, whether she had figured it out herself or been let in on it by her father.

He had finally come home from Ba Sing Se after nearly two long years of combat, only to walk right from the battlefield back into the den of rat-vipers he'd known and hated for so long. Worse, this time he returned without the solid, consolatory presence of his son beside him. But even though he had lost Lu Ten, the paternal feelings of love and protectiveness had not faded, he was quickly coming to realize. Rather, they had simply begun to shift from one kind and idealistic boy to another.

"Perhaps you are right about that, Prince Zuko," he said, wrapping a comforting arm around his nephew's shoulders. "I miss your mother as well. But Princess Ursa always maintained that you were a good and strong person, with the will and potential to do great things if given the chance. I think you should know that I feel just the same way that she does, and that if you ever need to talk to someone, about anything, I am always here for you."

Zuko looked up to him with a small but hopeful smile. "Thanks, Uncle. I'll remember that."

Iroh smiled back, thinking that with the proper guidance, surely Zuko could grow into the same honorable man his cousin had been. So since Ursa was no longer there to provide said guidance, and the thought of Ozai being this boy's sole influence was fairly frightening, he supposed that it now fell to him to ensure that he remained a good person, unsullied by their family's coldness and cruelty.

Of course, he would offer the same assistance to Azula, as well, if she were as willing as Zuko was to reach out for it. But he knew that she was far likelier to reject him in favor of her father, especially with the newfound hatred for him that burned in her heart, and that she was the sort who would hold a grudge until the end of time. He did not see how he was supposed to help someone who would, without a doubt, determinedly refuse his help.

Lu Ten...You saw the light of the sun in that child, he thought ruefully. But all I can see is darkness in her future.

~0~

It was exactly a week after the funeral when the royal siblings were summoned to a study in the officials' wing of the palace. By coincidence, they arrived together, their eyes narrowing and jaws clenching when they saw the other at the opposite end of the hallway, and determinedly did not look at each other as they entered the door in the middle of it.

"Good morning, Princess Azula, Crown Prince Zuko," a Fire Sage whose name escaped them both greeted them. Zuko started, still not used to being addressed by his new title, while Azula internally bristled at the sound of it. "As the Fire Lord may have told you, he and your lord uncle were present at the recent reading of Prince Lu Ten's last will and testament. He left some of his possessions to you, and you will receive them now."

"What did he leave us?" Zuko asked eagerly.

"The prince's properties, estate, and most of his possessions were either left to General Iroh or returned to the collective ownership of the royal family. And he requested specifically that all his books be donated to the palace library, and that as much money as he had the right to give be left to his...paramour in the Earth Kingdom," the sage said, the last words spoken with barely hidden distaste.

"Well...That's nice of him, isn't it?" Zuko said awkwardly. He'd never fully worked out how to feel about their cousin falling for a half-breed bounty hunter from the colonies. Azula muttered something that he was fairly sure included the words 'too nice for his own good.'

"You will inherit a few of his personal effects," continued the sage as he opened a large, gold-edged chest behind him and reached inside. "First, to Princess Azula..." Azula straightened up at the sound of her name. "Prince Lu Ten left his collection of firebending scrolls. He wishes you to continue the training you began with him." He took a wooden box, with painted characters on the top that spelled out their cousin's name, from the trunk and placed it in the arms of the stunned girl.

"All...All of them?" she asked, to no one in particular. With some difficulty (the box was slightly too big to fit comfortably in her arms) she removed the lid and stared, amazed, at the dozens of scrolls packed neatly inside. The thought struck her that she was now holding the wealth of her cousin's knowledge, all the moves and forms he had learned and the ones he had developed and written down himself. This was, at least in part, what had made Lu Ten the master firebender she had spent her life looking up to. And now he had entrusted that to her.

"Why did he leave them all to you?!" an indignant Zuko demanded. "I was learning from him too!" When his sister only smirked at him in response, he gave an angry huff and turned to the Fire Sage. "What did he leave me?"

"To Prince Zuko..." The sage drew out a long black and gold sheath divided into two sections. "Prince Lu Ten left his dual dao blades. He wishes you to become as proficient with them as he once was."

"Jianhuren..." Zuko breathed, all the anger rushing out of him as he took the sheath in his hands. "Didn't he make them himself, when he was just learning how to use swords?"

"Indeed he did: from the claws of the last dragon, gifted to him by his lord father." The sage gave both siblings a smile, making him seem suddenly less official and far more benevolent. "If I may say so, I am glad to see you happy with your inheritances, my prince and princess. Your late cousin would be pleased with you. There is just one last thing." He reached back into the chest and then handed each of them a large square envelope, with their cousin's personal seal stamped into the crimson wax. "As you may already know, all soldiers are encouraged to write letters to their loved ones that will be delivered in the event that they do not return from the battlefield. These were what Prince Lu Ten wanted to be his final words to you."

"Thank you," both siblings said, not quite in unison. They slipped the envelopes into their shirt pockets, unwilling to open and read them in front of each other.

The sage bent into a respectful bow. "It has been my honor," he said, before walking from the room and leaving the two of them alone.

With great care, Zuko took both swords by the hilts and pulled them from the large sheath. He assumed the stance he remembered Lu Ten always starting his sword training with, and slowly began a basic form he'd only ever done with wooden practice swords. His movements were awkward (the swords were heavier and a different shape than he was used to, not to mention that the blades were as long as his arms), but unlike in his firebending, he did not falter, and save for a need of training and refinement there was very little actually wrong with it. Watching him, Azula remembered from the lessons she had watched that Zuko seemed to be a natural at swordplay.

When she realized what that meant, she narrowed her eyes. If her brother proved skillful enough with these blades that it attracted Father's attention, he might be able to use this to curry favor with him. There was, admittedly, little chance that he would actually be able to surpass her in Father's eyes, but Azula would take no chances. She knew what happened to those who fell out of her father's favor, and in any case, she would not let herself be overlooked by both parents.

"He probably only left you those because he knew you can't do a decent kata to save your life," she sneered.

Unexpectedly, Zuko did not immediately fly off the handle at the acerbic comment. Instead, he stopped, straightened up, and glared at her with eyes of steel. "If you really think that," he said coldly, "then you didn't know Lu Ten at all."

"What?!" Azula burst out, in a shriller voice than she'd intended.

"You heard me. There, I said it to your face, happy now?"

"You'd better take that back! I'll make you regret it!"

"No," he said firmly, keeping up the glare. She couldn't tell if he was really unafraid to stand up to her, or if he was just doing a very good job of hiding his fear. In any case, she would prefer the latter - it angered her enough that he was not backing down and apparently thought that any consequences would be worth it. "Lu Ten left me Jianhuren because he knew I'm the one who can use them best," Zuko went on. "Better than you, at least. I'm going to be as strong as he was one day, and you...you can just watch me!"

With that, Zuko sheathed the swords, picked up the sheath, turned on his heel and stalked out, leaving his sister alone and fuming. How could Zuko think that he would ever get anywhere near Lu Ten's level, or hers, for that matter? So he got a couple fancy swords and then started having delusions of grandeur, did he? It was practically an insult to their cousin! Azula would not accept any of this. Clutching the box of scrolls tighter to her chest, she dashed out the door.

~0~

"And then, and then she said that Lu Ten only gave me his swords because he didn't think I could firebend! Can you believe that?!"

"Considering it's Azula you're talking about, yes," Mai answered bluntly, leaning back to relax as much as one could on the stone benches on the sidelines of the training court. Zuko, having gotten himself even more worked up recounting his sister's words, threw himself harder into the form he was trying, moving and striking harder and faster than he probably should have been. But she had to admit, he was pretty good for a beginner.

"I told her she was wrong, though," Zuko said fiercely as he slid into the final move. "I told her I'd prove it too!"

Mai raised an eyebrow. "Right to her face? And she didn't singe your topknot off?"

"She might try something to get back at me. You know, for telling her the truth. But I don't care." He turned and looked over at his friend, moving closer to the bench. "Can you show me the scroll for the Hawk's Wing? I want to try that one again."

"Sure." She adjusted the set of swordplay scrolls that they'd borrowed from General Iroh to show Zuko's chosen form, and after studying it for a moment he ran back to the center of the court. He took a deep breath, and got into his stance, holding one sword out in front of him and the other near his hip. He allowed himself one moment of hesitation to run through the moves in his head again, and then rushed into the form, swinging and ducking and slashing. Most of it went smoothly, as it had the last few tries, but on one of the last steps he swung too widely and lost his balance, sending him crashing to the hard stone floor with a startled shout, the swords skidding across it.

"Are you okay?" Mai asked, half standing up.

"Urgh...Yeah, I'm fine," Zuko muttered, pulling himself back up and recovering the blades. The image of his sister's mocking smile flashed in his mind again, and he felt his body grow hot with anger. "But why can't I just get this one move right?"

"I think you just need some more practice," Mai offered, used to dealing with her friend's frustrations. "You only got those swords today, you know."

"So?"

"So, you haven't been training for very long at all. Do you think you're going to master everything right away?"

"Azula can," Zuko said resentfully.

Mai sighed. She understood that, prodigy or not, Azula had only gotten to be as skilled as she was by working harder than probably anyone else. She'd watched her friend train herself to exhaustion enough times to see that. Nothing less would satisfy her and nothing less would satisfy Fire Lord Ozai. But, trying to explain this to her hot-blooded brother would only result in a heated rebuttal about how Azula got everything right without even trying and it was never fair for him, so Mai decided that it would be best not to waste the effort again and changed the subject instead. "Maybe you just need to try something different," she suggested. "Did you open that letter from your cousin yet? He might have given you some advice."

Zuko's eyes widened. "Oh, right! I almost forgot about that!" He quickly returned the swords to the sheath strapped tightly to his back and darted over to her. The sealed envelope laid next to the scrolls on the bench, and he snatched it up and broke the wax. As he removed the folded sheets of paper, Mai drew back, not wanting to intrude, but Zuko, noticing, gestured for her to come back over. "You can read too, if you want. I don't mind." She did, and looked over his shoulder as he unfolded the paper and began to read:

"Zuko -

If you're reading this, then...well, you know what's happened to me. There's so much that I want to tell you, but they're things I should be there beside you, in person, through your life to say. But if things really have turned out for the worse, this letter will have to do. So I need you to pay close attention and take everything I say here to heart, okay? Here it goes, then.

I think I should tell you some more about your inheritance first. You probably don't need to be reminded of this, but Jianhuren is one of my most important possessions. It's amazingly rare, too - dragon claw isn't exactly in high supply nowadays, you know. (It's about ten times stronger than any metal, though, and it'll cut through just about anything). Something so special has to be taken good care of, and I trust you to be able to do that. I hope my blades will be as special to you as they have been to me. Now, I know you've had some sword training before, but wielding Jianhuren is going to be pretty different.

I learned most of what I know about it from Master Piandao. In learning anything, what you need to do is find yourself a good master to teach you, so ask my father to take you to Shu Jing to see if Piandao still takes on students. Even if he doesn't any more, he'll probably make an exception for you as a favor to me; I asked him about it in my letter to him. The palace's swordplay scrolls are helpful too, so study those techniques hard. But before you do anything, there's one very important piece of advice I have to give you about fighting with these swords. You've practiced with only single blades before, so keep in mind, these are dual swords. Two halves of a single weapon. Don't think of them as separate, because they're not. They're just two different parts of the same whole. Remember that, Zuko, and you'll be able to master Jianhuren. I know you can do it if you really put your mind to it.

Now, I guess I have to talk about the less pleasant things that are on my mind. If I die, or, Agni forbid, if my father and I both die, the order of succession will shift. The sooner we're both gone, the sooner Uncle Ozai gets to the throne. So if you're reading this now, I bet your life has changed a lot, huh? I wish I could be there to help you, but that's obviously not going to happen any more. So like I said, this letter will have to do. I understand you've never liked to hear things that are difficult, but please listen to me now. I've known your father more personally and for much longer than you have, and I can honestly tell you that he's always had his eye on the throne. If my father or I end up killed here, I wouldn't be at all surprised to hear that he's become Fire Lord sooner than anyone thought he would.

If that's happened, then as crown prince (or third in line for the throne if my father's still alive and the heir) there's a lot more that's expected of you. What's more, people are going to try and influence you, especially since you're young. It's perfectly fine to take advice from others, don't get me wrong. But you have to make sure you know for certain who has your best interests at heart, and who just wants to use you for their own ends. I know your mother wants to shield you from everything that might be hard or painful, but the fact is that the world is tough, and you can't escape it forever. Even so, I have faith in you. I know you can be strong. I know you are strong. What you need to do is make sure that you stay your own person, and not something that someone else wants you to be.

To be honest, Zuko, our family is not perfect. It's barely even stable. When you hear people calling the royal court a den of weasel-vipers, it's not a joke. Be absolutely sure you know who is your friend, who is your ally, who is your enemy, and how far you can trust any of them. And above all, you and your sister have to stick together. I know that you and Azula don't always get along, and it might be tough sometimes. But you're brother and sister, and you can't afford to let anything tear you apart. You're much stronger together, trust me. I can't emphasize enough how important this is to the both of you. No matter what happens, stay together, like you promised me you would.

You know, I worry about you two a lot, especially about what could happen to you without me. You have to protect each other and care for each other if I'm not there to do it any more. Zuko, you tend to be more sensitive and empathetic than your sister. Both of you are good kids, but the thought of what Azula might become under a bad influence makes me nervous to say the least. So as her older brother, you have to set a good example for her and be a better influence, just like I am for you.

You got all that? So many words, my hand is cramping up. There's just one last thing you have to remember. I love you like my own little brother. Whatever happens, I will always love you. Keep that with you. If I don't come back and you end up having to read this letter...please forgive me.

- Your cousin, Lu Ten."

Both children were silent for a moment after reading the last characters. Mai tentatively broke the silence: "Well...You learned some more about the swords, at least."

"Yeah..." Zuko said, his voice faint. For the couple of minutes it had taken him to read the letter, he had heard his cousin's voice in his head as clearly as if Lu Ten were standing right next to him. It was an unexpected punch in the gut, and it took him a moment to come back to earth enough to fully process what he had just read. Of course he'd take good care of Jianhuren, and the very next time he saw Uncle Iroh he would ask about a trip to Shu Jing. Stay his own person...He frowned. Lu Ten wasn't making much sense there. He would certainly be able to do that; how could he be anybody but himself? It couldn't be as big a problem as it was being made out to be. And he knew very well who he could trust. His uncle, his friends, his father - he could rely on all of them. His sister, though...

Memories of her, with a smirk on her face, cruelty in her eyes, and acid in her voice, ran through his mind. Too many of them for such a short time. Zuko's eyes narrowed. "He wanted me to stay close to Azula? I think that ship has sailed. Things have changed too much." He turned to Mai. "Don't you think?"

She shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. Do you think he wrote something like that in his letter to her?"

"Probably. But she won't listen. She says she loved him so much, and she won't even listen to him," he said bitterly. "I don't want to think about it."

"So what do you want to do now?"

Zuko took a deep breath. "He said some important things about using the dual blades. I want to keep going with my sword training for a while. You don't mind hanging around for that, do you?"

"Knock yourself out," she replied, sitting back down next to the swordplay scrolls.

Unsheathing the swords again, Zuko walked back to the center of the training court and assumed his stance. He took another slow, deliberate breath. These are dual swords. Two halves of a single weapon. Don't think of them as separate, because they're not. They're just two different parts of the same whole. He adjusted his hold on the blades, picturing them not as separate or different, but as one, as Lu Ten had thought of them. It was a small change, but it seemed to make so much difference. It made it fit, somehow. I'll remember this. Envisioning himself, an older and stronger version of himself, as the great swordsman and warrior that his cousin had been, Zuko threw himself into the form. This time, he did not fail.

~0~

"Hey, Azula?"

"What?"

"Isn't this...This is the same place your cousin always used to take you, right?"

Azula narrowed her eyes, but did not stop running through her kata. "It is. What about it?"

Ty Lee, perched on a rock on the side of the little training field, cringed slightly at her friend's sharp tone. "Uh...Nothing, I was just wondering. So...Are you doing one of the forms he made up?"

"No," Azula said, punctuating the word with a high kick. "I'll get to those soon, though."

"I think it's really cool that he was able to do that. Maybe one day you'll invent your own forms too! You're definitely smart enough to!"

"Well, you're right about that. But I should probably try most of these forms first." She straightened up as she finished the final move. "Move to the next scroll, would you?"

As Ty Lee adjusted the scrolls, again Azula noticed her eyes flicking curiously to the opened envelope, with part of the unfolded paper inside sticking out, lying on the flat rock next to them. She rolled her eyes. "If you want to read Lu Ten's letter so much, then go ahead and read it. It's fine with me."

Ty Lee jumped, clearly not thinking she'd been so easy to read. "Oh! Are...Are you sure?"

"I just said it was fine, didn't I? Read it if you want, or not, it doesn't matter to me. Just don't tell anyone else what it says."

Hesitantly, Ty Lee picked up the envelope, took out the paper, and began to read it as Azula began the next kata. She would have set fire to anyone who tried taking it without her permission, but (strangely, she thought) she didn't mind sharing the letter with Ty Lee, no matter how personal it was to her. Besides, she had already read it over a dozen times, hanging on to her cousin's last words so closely that she was close to memorizing it all.

"Azula -

I hope you never have to read this letter, but if you are, then you know I'm not around any more. I'm so sorry that I left you like this, but I probably didn't have much of a choice in the matter. And I'm sorry that I won't be there with you as you grow up, but I can give you some final pieces of advice in this letter. That's the least I can do for you, now that I can't help you out in person. Please, I need you to do your best to remember everything I say here, all right? These are the most important things I can think of to say to you, and so I need these words to stick.

First off, your inheritance. I won't be able to train you myself any longer, and I have to say I was really looking forward to teaching you all my personal favorite forms. But I know that I can trust you to master every one of them even without me to teach you. Think of me when you start doing the ones I invented, will you? I'd like to know that part of me will still be there with you, even when you start learning from a different sifu. You know that I always loved being your sifu, right? You're a wonderful student and such a hard worker. You'll be a firebending master better than me before you know it. I have faith in you! Just...When someone else starts training you, do your best to learn from them, but don't forget my lessons. I don't want you to lose what I tried to teach you. Try asking my dad for help if you need it: you two don't know each other all that well, but he's definitely worth a try, at least. And keep in mind that although she hardly ever shows it, your mom is just as strong as your dad, if not stronger. She could be good to go to, too. Don't ever think that you have to rely on yourself, or on just one person. There are always people around you that you can trust, and that will help you if you just reach out to them.

Second, if I'm gone, that means things are going to be seriously changing in the palace. The death of a significant royal will always cause a power vacuum of some kind, and not to brag, but second prince and supposed-to-be future Fire Lord is pretty significant. I'm going to be very, very honest with you here, Azula, because I know you can take it. It's no secret that my uncle wants to be Fire Lord, and we both know he's used to getting what he wants no matter what he has to do to make it happen. If both my father and I die out here, then that leaves Ozai as crown prince, easy; if it's just me, then my father will be left with no wife and no heir, and that makes it very easy for Ozai to try and stake a claim on the throne, since he'll (hopefully) still have your mom and you two. I know Grandfather prefers my dad, but I have to admit that your dad is really smart. I won't be surprised at all if he finds some way to make himself Fire Lord before I'm even on the funeral pyre.

If it turns out that I'm right (and I really do hope that I'm not), then let it be a lesson to you, Azula. Political intrigues are not a game, and the royal court is probably more dangerous than the battlefield. At least there your enemies are perfectly honest about how much they want to ruin you, and don't pretend to be your friend before they stab you in the back. I hate to say it, but from here on out, you can't afford to be naïve, and you have to be very careful who you place your trust in. Find friends you can definitely count on to watch your back and stick with them like your life depends on it. Don't let anyone deceive you, and especially look out for people who act as if they care about you just to lure you in and use you for their own ends. Those are the kinds of people who will only treat you well until they don't need you any longer, and then they'll show their true colors and throw you away. Do not let that happen. The people you love are essential to your life and happiness, but be very, very careful who you give your love and loyalty to. I don't like to scare you, but you always need to consider that you may be giving them to the wrong person. To keep yourself safe, never assume anything, trust your instincts, and use your best judgement. Okay?

Third...All right, I know bringing Zuko into this letter is probably going to annoy you, but don't stop reading or paying attention. I wouldn't do it if I didn't have to, and I'm going to tell you the same thing I told him: now that I'm gone, you and Zuko have to stick close together, got it? The bond between siblings is special, because it means you two are a natural-born team even if you don't always get along. It is absolutely crucial that you stick together. You remember when I left, and you two promised me that you'd remember that the only way you win is together? Well, I may not be alive anymore, but I'm still holding the both of you to that.

As self-important as it might sound, to tell you the truth, the thought of both of you losing me so soon scares me, Azula. It really does. I worry a lot about what could happen to you guys without me there to guide you and teach you. Please believe me when I say you'll always do better together, and that it would be a bad idea for you to drift apart and end up on your own, weaker than you would have been otherwise. It's especially important for you personally. I don't mean to insult Zuko, but of the two of you, he's the softer and gentler one, the one more vulnerable and easily hurt. And as the stronger sibling, it's your job to protect him and try to make him strong like you, because you have nothing to gain from tearing him down. Remember that the duty of the royal family, as the most powerful people in the nation, is to use that power to safeguard the people who need it most. So look after Zuko the way I always looked after you.

So many words to each of you, and it still doesn't feel like anywhere near enough. But this is all I have to give you now. I hope to every spirit that you'll keep it with you. But even if you forget everything else, remember this one last thing: I love you so much, more than I would my own sister. You are so, so loved, Azula; don't ever forget that. If I can't come back to you, then I hope you can forgive me.

- Your cousin, Lu Ten."

Damn her cousin for making her sob even harder the first time she'd read through all that than when she'd gotten the news of his death. Maybe one day, probably farther in the future than he'd like, Azula would be able to forgive him for going off and dying on her, for breaking his promise to return to her. For now, she could focus on the information that he'd considered it imperative to pass on to her.

It was gratifying to learn that Lu Ten respected her enough to not treat her like an ignorant child, and do his best to warn her about what she would have to face as a member of the royal family. He trusted her to know how to handle herself in a cutthroat place like this, and was doing his best to give her all the help he could when he could not be by her side in it. She hadn't thought it possible to be even more impressed with her cousin's intelligence and insight than she already was, but she had to hand it to him: not many people that she knew of could have predicted exactly what would happen to their family when they died. Though perhaps that could be credited more to him knowing his relatives well enough to predict their actions, and the results that would come of it, rather than general foresight.

At any rate, he had certainly taken the time to learn how her father would act: he had used Lu Ten's death, Iroh's lack of wife and heir, and his possession of two living heirs to justify his bid for the throne, and had indeed been crowned Fire Lord before his nephew's body had even left the Earth Kingdom, all through his own intelligence and careful preparation. Father hadn't told her anything outright, and Agni knew Zuko was too dumb to figure it out for himself, but it was clear to her that her grandfather's death had not been natural, and her mother had not deserted them for no reason (though in any case she was probably glad to be rid of her problem child for good).

Lu Ten was right, as usual. All that had happened in this past week was only proof that it took a lot to survive in this palace, and it took exceptional effort from an equally exceptional person to thrive. She wouldn't fail her cousin: now it was her father who thrived here, and soon enough it would be her. She would be just as smart, just as clever, just as careful as he wanted her to be, and keep only loyal friends like Mai and Ty Lee close to her. Offhand, those were the only two friends she could think of that were trustworthy enough to confide in, but it would probably be best to keep the number low enough to manage anyway. Someone as naïve as Zuko would screw it up for sure, but she knew enough to know exactly who she could trust to be genuine with her.

The grudge her cousin still bore against her father, though, continued to puzzle her. The two of them didn't exactly get along - and according to her uncle, they never had, even as children - but Azula couldn't understand why he still spoke about Ozai with such obvious anger and distrust, as if he were the scum of the earth. Yes, he had gotten Azulon killed so he could take over, but of course it was all for the best, and it wasn't as if he would be a bad Fire Lord. He wouldn't be as good as Lu Ten, who had been born with divine right to the throne, would have been, but he was worlds better than Iroh would have been. Her father was neither weak nor cowardly like his brother, and he could very well be the Fire Lord who finally led the Fire Nation to victory. Not only that, but he was now the only relative she had who held any love for her. The rest of her family's resentment of her didn't matter at all, she told herself, if only she could continue to prove herself worthy of that love, and stay in her father's good graces. She was his only daughter, his favored child, his pride; there was no chance he would ever throw her away like her mother had.

Lu Ten's pleas for her to stick close to Zuko were, as he had said, unwelcome, but far less confusing. While they had still been a typical pair of bickering siblings when he had left them, they had gotten along much better back then, though it put a bitter taste in her mouth to admit that even to herself. It had been less than two years (not too long at all, really), but the change in their relationship had been more dramatic than her cousin could have realized. Soft and easily hurt was Zuko in a nutshell, so at least that part was correct; and only an idiot wouldn't realize that she was far stronger than he could ever be. But it being her job to protect him and help him? Plausible then, but completely ridiculous now.

She knew she was the superior of the two, but Zuko made it clear that he was convinced that he was the better one simply by virtue of being the elder (and her mother had done nothing but support that delusion while tearing down Azula for good measure), and she had seen him arguing with the palace trainers enough to know that he had come to respond angrily to people trying to help him. He always thought that he knew what was best, wouldn't listen to anyone else, and carried on doing things the way he wanted to even if they were wrong. And then he wondered why Father was so frustrated with him.

Looking after her idiot brother was out of the question; looking after herself was difficult enough. Even if he could stand to be in the company of the sister he hated, he would only drag her down. Sticking around the family disappointment wouldn't earn her any points with Father. Sorry, Lu Ten. I know you love me, and I'm not at all ungrateful for that. But I can't do what you're asking, not for Zuko. He's not worth it. Besides, he's got Uncle Iroh to look after him in your place. I have to worry about myself.

With that thought and one last spinning strike, Azula finished the long kata, and was a moment away from telling Ty Lee to show her which one was next when the sudden sound of applause came from behind them. Both girls jumped in surprise, and turned around to see Ozai standing there, with a self-satisfied smile on his face. "Well done, Azula," he said as he approached them. "As always."

Ty Lee, for all that she had spent time with Azula still intimidated by most higher-ranked royals, immediately hopped off the rock and dropped into an awkward bow. "I-I'm honored to meet you, Fire Lord Ozai!" she squeaked. "Th-thank you for letting me help Azula train!"

Ozai raised one eyebrow as he regarded the small girl below him. "You do look familiar. Who might you be, again?"

"Ty Lee Suzume, Fire Lord."

"Ah. One of Lord Suzume's brood," Ozai said with a dismissive nod. "If you would excuse us, young lady, I would like to have a moment with my daughter."

"Yes, Fire Lord! Uh...Bye, Azula!"

She darted off like a sparrow chased by a hawk, leaving the two royals alone. Azula, making a mental note to help her friend either develop more of a spine or learn how to hide her fear, stood up straighter and folded her hands respectfully. "What is it, Father?"

"Nothing in particular. I merely wanted to watch you at your training. It pleases me to know your cousin's unfortunate death hasn't hindered your progress, unlike your brother. How he plans to become a better firebender by wasting precious hours swinging around his new swords, I can't fathom. A bender should need no weapon but their body and their element." One corner of his mouth pulled up into a cruel smirk. "Perhaps if Lu Ten had spent less time with those useless toys of his, he would have returned home alive and well."

"...Perhaps he would have," Azula answered mechanically, biting back an automatic angry retort. This was her father, she reminded herself; he could not be so irreverent as to insult a soldier and relative who had fought and died heroically, and even if he was she could not talk back to him. That wouldn't impress him at all...But she thought she knew what would. "Father, unless there's something specific you want me to do, I have one form I would really like to show you."

"Very well. Show me, then."

"Yes, Father!"

This was one of the more difficult forms she had learned from Lu Ten, one that he had been particularly excited to teach her, and she was certain her father would be as proud of how she had mastered it as her cousin had been. She assumed her first stance, took a deep breath, and earnestly began the kata, jumping, kicking, spinning, and striking all around the field. Her fire was plenty strong - in fact, it seemed to her that it had begun blazing much hotter than usual lately - but perfectly contained, with not one single spark escaping her control to light the grass beneath it. The movements were comfortable and familiar, enough so that she had complete confidence that she was performing flawlessly.

A minute later, when she had completed the final move, Azula turned on her heel to face her father, the beginnings of a hopeful smile on her face as she anticipated his praise, only to fall flat when she saw the irritation on his face. "That was what you were so eager to show me?" he said coldly. "Apparently all your cousin taught you was how to be careless and mediocre. I expect this sort of display from Zuko, but never from you. Do it again and do it right this time."

For a moment, all she could do was stare blankly, blinking in surprise. What? She started when Ozai snapped impatiently, "Well, go on then, if you're so anxious to show off," and immediately jumped back into the first stance. Shock quickly gave way to indignant anger, and she quietly fumed as she went through the form again, paying closer attention but not knowing what for. I didn't do anything wrong the first time! I know I didn't do anything wrong! I've practiced this form a hundred times before and Lu Ten always praised me! Always!

"That's hardly better. Again!"

Why?! she internally raged, biting her lip to keep from shouting back as she threw herself into the form for the third time, still completely in the dark as to what imperfections her father was seeing and what he was expecting her to do differently. I'm doing everything right! I always do everything right! Why is that never enough?! Not for Mother, not for you...Why is that never enough for anybody?! What am I doing wrong?!

As Azula struck out for the final time, her control slipped at the last instant, and the normally tightly reined-in fire blasted out larger and wilder than she had intended. Her eyes widened and her heart clenched in momentary terror at the blatant mistake...only for another jolt of shock to run through her as she watched it leave her fingertips not wholly orange as it always had, but with the edges of each tongue of flame burning a brilliant blue. Again, she stared, wide-eyed, as it faded into nothing. Had she really just seen that - done that? Had that really just happened? She turned to her father for confirmation, and found it in the look of complete and utter awe on his face. Yes, he saw it too!

"Azula..." Ozai began slowly. "How did you do that?"

"I...I don't know," she admitted. "That's never happened before..." Experimentally, she brought up a small plume of flame in her hand, and there was no trace of blue in that. She focused harder, trying to visualize that stunning color, but it remained obstinately orange. "I don't know what I have to do to - "

"Then figure it out," Ozai ordered. Though his voice was still sharp, he was now far from displeased. His eyes shone with elation and avarice, as his mind raced with imaginings of what his daughter's newfound skill could mean for him. "However you have to do it. Do you have any idea how wonderful this will be, Azula? The ability to bend multicolored fire is even rarer than the ability to lightningbend. In the whole history of our royal family, only a handful of firebenders have achieved it; the most recent was Fire Lord Yuzuki, and her time was over three hundred years ago. I never expected anything so amazing as to see it resurface in my own child."

Wonderful. Amazing. The sincere approval of her made her heart lift, and all her anger from a minute ago was forgotten. "Yes, Father!"

"Very good. I'll leave you alone for a while to practice, but I will return in an hour to check on your progress," Ozai said. "You have proven to be an extraordinary bender, Azula, worlds better than your brother could ever hope to be. I trust that you will continue to impress me this way."

With that, the Fire Lord turned and started back for the palace, leaving his daughter beaming. "I will! I definitely will!" she called after his retreating form, and then darted over to sift through the firebending scrolls still resting on the flat rock until she found one detailing how to perform one of her cousin's creations. Studying the relatively simple but effective form until she was certain she'd memorized all the steps, she moved back into the center of the field. She stayed still for only a moment to take a breath, and then dropped into the form, keeping the memory of Lu Ten showing it to her in her mind as she went through it.

Again, the wisps of blue flame failed to make a reappearance. But that was all right, Azula thought. She had worked hard for everything she was now able to do, and summoning the blue fire would be no different. Father had faith in her; he had said so. Surely she would be able to do it. So she happily began the form again, with the sun on her back, the breeze running through her hair, and the sound of waves rolling and crashing against the cliffside in the background.

You are so, so loved, Azula; don't ever forget that.

Azula swore she would not fail the two family members she loved most. She would make her father love her the way Lu Ten had loved her. She was certain he would, so long as she was able to earn it.

~0~