Chapter Five. You can't be here.

The next three weeks passed rather uneventfully compared to the first night. Just as promised, the baby did not come early. West ended up getting a few words of a story from everyone on the ship, and then disappeared into his room for the last two weeks, only coming out to eat at odd times. Taking on passengers this time had not been nearly as exciting as when Simon and River originally boarded, and for that Mal was eternally grateful.

However, recounting the tale of Serenity Valley left Mal with horrible nightmares. Every night River would wake and attempt to calm him in his dream. Some of the time, this alone worked. When it didn't, she would go to his bunk, run her fingers down his jaw, push the hair out of his face, and end up crawling in bed next to him. Sometimes he woke.

"You can't be here," he'd say to her.

"Shhh," she'd tell him. "Go to sleep."

"Can't. Bad dreams. Also got a girl in my bed. It's distractin'." She moved closer anyway, and he couldn't help but wrap his arms around her. She felt so perfect, right there. She was so tiny and frail, yet he knew that she could kill him in an instant. And, despite what she said, he was certain she never would.

Even in a trance, she'd taken out an entire bar of patrons without an issue, but when she had aimed her gun at him, she'd hesitated. Mal would never forget that day.

He held her close, breathing in the smell of her hair, trying to commit the scent to memory. As he exhaled, he fell into a slumber once more. Not even a kiss passed between them on these nights, though they each wanted to desperately. Sometimes River would place her lips close to his own, but he would always avoid her. He couldn't kiss her here. If they started kissing here, in private, Mal wasn't sure he would have the self control to keep things between them at only a kiss, so he avoided the situation entirely.

In three weeks, River spent nine nights in his bed. Each morning they'd wake, and he'd tell her she shouldn't be there, but his resistance lessened each time. On the ninth morning, the day they meant to dock at Persephone, Mal sat up, watching her. Her hair was splayed out on her pillow, and her night dress had risen up to a dangerous place on her thighs. He wore a pair of shorts, and she was looking up at him as she traced all of his scars with her fingertips.

"You're dangerous, Albatross," he said. "You're startin' to get me used to sleeping next to another body again. I don't appreciate it." River slipped her arms around his waist, pressing her head against his bare chest.

"You don't have bad dreams when I'm here. The human body is meant to sleep next to another. Sharing a bed reduces cytokines, which reduces inflammation, and boosts oxytocin. Eases anxiety and is produced in the same part of the brain responsible for the sleep-wake cycle," she recited. Mal sighed. She always had to know everything.

"What's that in Captain Dummy talk?"

"Better sleep. Happier Captain." River's fingers traveled down his back, tracing the line of his abdomen to the hem line of his shorts, and then lower. He hissed, pulling her hand away from that area.

"Gorrammit, River," he sighed, exasperated. She reached up and gently touched his face. This was a familiar gesture now, and he closed his eyes, allowing the comforting sensation of her fingertips against his skin to wash over him. When she pushed his hair back, running her fingers over his scalp, he felt his stomach give a flip, blood rushing. He slowly extracted herself from her before he did something he didn't want to regret, inhaling sharply. This signalled the end of their morning ritual. River removed herself as well and, without further fuss, quietly climbed out of Mal's bunk. They had a long day ahead of them.

The crew had gathered in the cargo bay to say their goodbyes. "I can't believe we're here already!" Kaylee cried out, hugging Kiva tightly. While the two girls had become close during their time together, Persephone was the couple's final destination. They would be starting over there, staying with relatives of Mathias for a while until they got their bearing and found work.

"Promise you'll wave whenever you're on world?" Kiva asked, teary-eyed as she hugged her goodbye.

"Promise!" Kaylee confirmed. She gave her one more hug, though the embrace was a hint of awkward because her belly was so huge. "Let us know when baby Emmaline is born."

"We will." Mathias gave Kaylee a hug, too. It was hard not to love the bright ray of sunshine that was Kaywinnet Lee Frye. Kiva gently touched River's hand, but the two didn't share the heartfelt goodbyes. River smiled, and looked at her belly again before wishing them safe travels. The couple eventually departed.

With perfect timing, a disheveled West hurried into the cargo bay. "So long, Serenity!" he said as he handed Mal a handful of platinum. Mal stared at the coinage. The amount paid was double what West owed him. Instead of arguing, however, he pocketed the change. "So long Kaylee, Mal, Zoe, Simon, River dear. I have to run. But you have no idea how much I'm honored by your time. Serenity…" He paused, regarding the ship with a display of emotion before turning to the crew. "I wish you all the very best. I hope to hear from you soon." And with that unceremoniously and comically short goodbye, he left them, disappearing into the crowd. The crew looked around at each other, confused and curious.

"I tell you all what," Mal spoke up, still grinning, and pulled the ten coins out of his pocket. He handed each of them a platinum, pocketed two, and then gave the rest to Kaylee. "Go run your errands - write yer ma, Jayne - pick up the parts we need, Kaylee - and then head on over to the Amo Eno. Drinks are on me tonight."

They did indeed meet up at Amo Eno. It was a lively bar, with a well-lit dance floor. Mal liked the place for several reasons. First and foremost, there were several exits available in case a situation went sour. Next, the drinks were cheap, and the atmosphere was easy and casual. Last, the whole place was well lit; Mal felt as though he could see trouble coming a mile away. He scanned the bar, searching for his crew. Zoe was next to him, no doubt scanning for trouble as well.

Kaylee and Simon were dancing, as usual. Simon was light on his feet and knew all of the social dances, and Kaylee just loved to get her feet moving. The doctor had no choice but to love dancing. He was River's brother, and who else was she to practice with growing up? His skill in this particular area had surprised the entire crew, and absolutely delighted Kaylee. It just took him a few drinks to get on the floor. Mal knew their on-world routine by heart now. They'd dance and drink and dance and drink, taking short breaks to talk to the crew and check on River. Then, when they'd had enough to drink, they'd sneak back to the ship. Mal assumed they played cards and went to sleep in separate bunks, but he was a crochety old man.

Jayne was getting incredibly drunk with some ladies at the other end of the bar. Their clothing didn't leave much to the imagination, but Mal imagined that was how he liked them.

River was dancing, the center of attention as usual. She always attracted a lot of local color. Her body moved in ways most people had never seen, and she could pick up any dance after watching for a few moments. Mal's gaze followed her as he took a sip on his drink.

"Sir." Zoe spoke, and Mal raised a brow at her. "Might I be frank for a moment?"

"Frank sounds like a ruttin' húndàn, but go on." She didn't laugh at his attempt at humor.

"I've noticed you lookin' at River different as of late."

Mal's eyes averted, his gaze moving away from the pilot and on to Kaylee and Simon. "Mm. Have you?"

"Yes, sir. I also heard her climb out of your bunk last night." Mal's stomach flopped uncomfortably and he nearly spit out his drink. Clearing his throat, he put a hand out in his defense.

"I can explain-"

"Ain't my place to judge."

"It ain't like that-"

"Like I said."

He finally turned to look at his first mate as he set his drink on the bar, gesturing for another refill. "I don't think anyone else would judge you, Captain. 'Cept maybe Simon, but that's another can of worms entirely. You remember when you told me not to marry Wash?" Mal cringed inwardly.

"Never forget it," was his short reply. His drink had been refilled, and he tried to find an escape from this painful conversation at the bottom of it. "S'pose you're gonna be all ironical and say it's a bad idea."

She shrugged a shoulder. "Part of my job on this ship is to ask you if the crazy plan you've got in your head is worth the risk. If I don't agree with somethin', I let you know."

Mal shook his head, and downed the rest of his drink. "Well, good thing I ain't got a crazy plan here. River's the one with… Nevermind on that. Does this mean you don't agree with… whatever the hell that girl is gettin' me into?"

"She's a mite young, but she's grown enough. She ain't always so stable. When I first figured you two out, I thought I'd take issue with it. Thought about it for a minute. Turns out I don't." Zoe took a sip out of her glass. She hadn't even finished her first drink of the night. Then again, she didn't partake much after the events of Miranda. Mal suspected it brought out the sadness in a way she couldn't handle in her stoic manner.

"Hm." Well, that wasn't nearly as painful as he imagined. His attention went to River again, who winked at him when she caught him staring at her. She was dancing with a boy who seemed older than her, which was terribly ironic for Mal to consider. He watched her let out a laugh at something another boy said to her, and roll her eyes. Mal was avoiding noticing the rest of her because if he did, it would be hard to keep his hands off of her.

When she first walked into the bar, Mal had been floored. River had spent her share of the earnings on a dress. It wasn't slinky, like Zoe would want, but it didn't have ruffles, like Kaylee's. Instead it was.. well, like water. A dark royal blue, it clung tightly to the top of her and spilled out after hugging her slim waist. When she spun about it fanned out around her in a way that mesmerized. Mal wasn't the only one who was starting; everyone noticed. He'd made a decision early on not to notice too much, but after she did a few spins out on the dance floor, that determination faded away.

"Go dance with her, Captain," Zoe urged quietly. "I've got your six."

She didn't need to tell him twice. Setting his now empty drink on the bar, he moved quickly to close the distance between him and River. Some young guy had her in his arms in a dance, but Mal tapped his shoulder. He didn't even ask to cut in, but gave the boy a stern face. After he fled quickly, Mal gave River a comically awkward bow, offering his hand to her. River's smile was the brightest one he had ever seen.

"It's not easy to surprise me, Captain Tightpants," she told him as the dance started. "But you've succeeded. Didn't think you could dance!" It was just a folk dance, one he'd learned on Shadow as a kid. Mal knew the steps by heart, which was good, because he was largely distracted by the sight in front of him. She'd grown so much from that frightened girl on the floor of the cargo bay that he almost couldn't believe she was the same person. Mal noticed then, as they started to dance, that she wasn't wearing any shoes, and couldn't help but laugh as he stepped, side, stepped. One two three - five six seven. Yes, she was definitely still the same girl.

The dance went on, and Mal was astonished that he didn't fumble or misstep. The alcohol was starting to make his brain feel fuzzy. When the dance required that he pull her close, and he did so almost greedily.

"You are quite the vision tonight, River," he said in a low voice, for her ears only. He watched her cheeks flush with color as they stepped apart again. "That's a new dress," he added quickly.

"Acute observation, Captain," was the sarcastic reply. They stepped back together, and he pulled her closer than necessary. They stepped apart again, and now her cheeks were even redder. Mal couldn't help but start to wonder what was under that dress, and by the expression she was giving him, she could hear those thoughts. But River recovered quickly, and a sly smile spread across her lips. She continued dancing without missing a single beat, which was more than Mal could say about his own skills on the floor.

"I've had two marriage proposals tonight," she remarked casually. Mal put on his best Stern Captain expression.

"Well young miss, I'll be having none of that. I forbid you from marryin' those boys. That's an order." A laugh bubbled up in her throat. The song ended, and Mal bowed again before retreating to the bar. "I mean it!" he warned, pointing a finger at her as he left.

River laughed, and the sound made his heart light. "Yes sir."

Captain once told me not to marry Wash. We were so in love, though, and we didn't listen. I thought, 'I've been following this man for long enough. It's time I did something of my own.' So I married him. And just when we were able to… well, I lost him, and a baby. Most women have miscarriages, they just don't talk about them. But as far as River and the Captain? I wanted to tell him it was a bad idea. I wanted to tell him not to do it, to stay away from her, like he had done to me and Wash. But if you saw the way he looked at her when he thought no one was watching… I couldn't take that from him. Not after everything we'd gone through. I couldn't be the one to tell him it wasn't going to work. To tell him it was a bad idea. Would I change that, if I could? … Maybe. But I don't think so. I'm sure he still loves her, even now.

Zoe Washburne