Delphine left first, she kissed Cosima gently on both cheeks, checked her hair in the mirror and then, with one last smile, Cosima found herself suddenly alone. She realised it was the first time in weeks when she'd actually been by herself, in between the stupid amount of hours she'd been putting in at the lab and the constant check ups from Sarah and Felix, she'd somehow forgotten what it was like to be alone. She faced her reflection of herself and observed it, she remembered the first time she'd realised she was ill, the way that her coughs had turned into a mouth full of coppery tasting blood. She shook her head slightly at the thought, with everything that had just happened she had way too much on her plate to be taking a trip down memory lane. She splashed her face with water, thank god for waterproof eyeliner, and went back out into the café.
She was half grateful, half sad to see that Delphine had left the café completely. She kinda missed her already, but knew she needed some time to digest everything in her head. It was all happening a bit too quickly for Cosima, she still had so many questions she needed to ask. When she reached the table she saw that Delphine had left a note, 'je t'aime' written in perfect calligraphy on fresh white notepad paper. Cosima picked up the paper and toyed with it, 'your girlfriends pretty neat isn't she? If that was me it would have been scribbled on an old receipt in biro.' Shay had somehow snuck up behind Cosima without her noticing. 'Huh? Oh yeah, me too. Obvs.' Cosima pocketed the note, 'and she's not my girlfriend.' Something in Cosima's voice made Shay serious, 'you wanna talk about it?' Cosima shook her head and went to take a drink from her half finished coke still on the table 'you need something stronger in that?' Shay suggested, nodding to the drink, Cosima raised her eyebrows at the waitress, who was already wondering off 'come on' she called over her shoulder, making her way to the bar.
Cosima passed over her drink and took a stool at the quiet end of the bar as Shay quickly added two shots of vodka to her drink. 'I hide it in an old milk cartoon,' she laughed 'reserved for only my favourite customers of course. Or for when I'm having a bad day.' Cosima took a lark gulp and winced slightly at the strong taste 'Well thank you, I'm honoured.'
'You sure you don't wanna talk about it?'
'Nope. No, no, no. What I do want to do is get blazed and forget all about all the shit that's going on.'
Shay nodded understandingly, 'well, you give me half an hour to chuck these guys out and close up and your wish is my command.'
'Really? No way,' Cosima's eyes were wide 'Booze is one thing, but pot? I had no idea it was that kind of a café.'
'Oh getting stoned here after closing is the best. Have you ever got stoned in a café? They are the best place to get the munchies.'
And that was how Cosima and Shay found themselves, an hour later, sitting on the floor by the bar, surrounded by a Helena amount of food. 'Pink Floyd? Really?' Cosima laughed, 'you are such a cliché!'
'Hey! What's wrong with Pink Floyd?'
'Nothing, nothing. It's just so… Middle school stoner session.'
'Okay, and what would you listen to, oh queen of high music.' Giggled Shay, crushing another handful of crisps into her mouth.
Cosima commandeered Shay's iPhone and stuck on some Tame Impala. As the slow tunes swam their way around the café she lay down on the floor, spraying whipped cream from the can straight into her mouth. 'Oh yeah-hit me up.' Shay lay down, placing her head in Cosima's lap and opening her mouth wide; obligingly Cosima sprayed a large amount of the cream onto Shay's tongue. Cosima placed the canister down, stretched with both arms and then let her hands fall to her side. She'd forgotten that Shay was still lying on her lap and so instead of her hand falling to the floor of the café it instead landed on a petite blonde's hard stomach. She thought about moving it but she was too high for any real coherent thoughts and, to be entirely honest, it felt nice. Absent mindlessly Cosima drew small circles with her thumb on the girls abdomen smirking slightly when she felt her tense and wiggle underneath her touch. 'You know, have you ever thought...' Cosima stared down at Shay who had her softly closed and was speaking slowly 'if you're waiting for the waiter, aren't you the waiter?' Cosima exhaled loudly and started silently giggling; Shay opened her eyes and smiled widely, proud to have made Cosima laugh so hard. With ever second that went by the two girls starting laughing harder and harder until finally composing themselves with long deep breaths. 'Dude, you're so high'
'You're so high, dude.'
'Dude you're, so high.'
Cosima and Shay had sat up and were facing each other; both sitting crossed legged on the floor. Poking each other as they spoke
'Dude,'
'Dude…'
The last poke that Shay gave hit Cosima on the collar of her t-shirt, Shay turned the poke into pinch, grabbing the material between her finger and thumb and pulling Cosima toward her.
The kiss that she gave was deep and sensual, made more intense by the pot still spinning its way through their system. It was a kiss without boundaries, a kiss that hinted at Shay's experience, bold and unafraid. It was a good kiss.
But it wasn't Delphine.
Fuck. As soon as her name entered her mind Cosima pulled back and away from Shay who shrugged 'The tall, gorgeous, not-your-girlfriend-girl?' She asked
'Yeah… Like, I'm, I'm totes sorry.' Cosima's usually active hands went into overdrive 'It's not that that was bad, I mean, no. Yeah it was good.' Shay raised an eyebrow 'Great, I mean it was great. But it's just like. I've got so much stuff in my head right now that I just can't like, commit or anything.' Shay seemed relatively unbothered by Cosima's declaration, and instead concentrated on eating as many crisps as she could. 'It's cool, I knew you had a "thing" but hey, can't blame me for trying. I mean, you're really hot.' Cosima blushed, still unused to such blatant compliments. She had never really been called hot before, she was a geeky kid in school, not unliked, but definitely not hot. It had only really been in her undergrad where she developed her own sense of style and really found herself. It was moments like these when she still felt like a nerdy sixteen year old.
'You're pretty hot too. And thanks for all this it's been great. It's late though, I should, like, get going.' Shay walked Cosima to the door and kissed her cheek as she left 'I hope your not-a-girlfriend knows what she's got' she winked and closed the door behind Cosima.
Cosima felt like a fool. She started walking down the deserted streets, feeling the slow come down off the weed. Did Delphine even like her? It seemed like she really wanted to get her back but then, why break up with her in the first place? Cosima wasn't buying the whole 'love you all equally' thing; it was a weak ass excuse. Anger and sadness, and yes, longing mixed around her stomach when she thought of Delphine. The longing slowly growing stronger as she walked, it overtook the anger, and eventually the sadness too. Until she was just left with a pit of desire growing inside her. It must have been in the back of her head for quite some time, because When Cosima stopped walking and finally took notice of her surroundings she immediately recognised where she was. Outside a block of nondescript flats. Nondescript except for the fact that on the second floor, Flat 18, slept the most amazing woman she'd ever met. She was outside Delphine's apartment.
