Hey guys sorry about how long it's been. Umm this is honestly a little awkward and if you could stop staring that would be great. So this is apparently exactly one year after I first posted this so I thought for all the remaining fans (both of you) I would do a revival so batshit insane you remember it for all eternity. So um if you feel offended by anything (you will. Someone wigged out over Annabeth cursing so ya this is going to be a hellworthy chapter) please go fuck yourself. Allan(You guys most likely know me as Wolfe14, but I am trying to go by my name a little more) ( that's his name and I'm too god damned lazy to say anything else) will add his "...of the asshole variety…" comments , It was me who started that wasn't it? Man it is in like every AN we have ever written together. I also realize that we used a lot of things the Nostalgia Critic said back when we first started. I would love to say that we have changed for the better… but we haven't. Well Ghost hasn't. This also would not have been a thing if I hadn't told Ghost about it. So anyways, look for the unnecessary bolds and odd formatting, it may be a message and if you find it, tell it to us in a review and we may do something for you, like an OC as a side gag in Silent Striker or something along those lines. So anyways I'm going to start on this.
Chapter something-GhostHatesJames(Cause fuck you that's why)-1st person
Ah memories (not to be confused with mammories(equally fun)) they are what give us guidance into the future. These ones have been especially fun (Start nostalgic music here)...See in the year since we have been on hiatus many things have happened. Young Nico woke up out of his coma and has resumed normal-ish relations with Annabeth Chase. They now both attend Beacon whilst Blake and Annabeth work to fix the time machine. Life seemed normal, it was quieting down people had settled into a groove…. until one day (nostalgic music comes to a crescendo and turns dark and intense), another bright light streaked across the sky.
"What the fucking hell man?" Yang yelled at the author, rather pissed.
"Don't start that shit with me, you're pissing off my imaginary readers, now get to fucking moving!" The author yelled back with little regard to that thing known as the "fourth wall".
"You give us an anniversary special and now I am chasing more lights? What about your other story, wasn't I about to fuck some ice cream girl or something?" Yang said.
"Just because you're a voice in my head doesn't mean you get to question me. NOW GET FUCKING MOVING!" The author yelled making clear that this motherfuckery would no longer be tolerated. So knowing they were fighting a battle that they would never win Yang, Nico, Blake, Nora, and Annabeth ran off towards the light.
"That guy is a fucking asshole." Yang said.
"So is the other one." Nico added.
"Doesn't that make us assholes?" Annabeth pondered. After a while of breaking every spec of a fourth wall they made it to another smoldering crater in the forest.
"Keep this up and we won't have a forest for you to interject plot lines." Annabeth said with a snarky tone.
"Keep this up and you won't have any god damned readers." The author replied as a silhouette appeared out of the smoke. As the smoke started to clear a man roughly in his late 20s to early 30s emerged from the wreckage looking pissed off. He had a black hat, black blazer and a red tie loosely tied over a t-shirt.
"Oh knock it the fuck off!" The figure yelled as nostalgic music kicked in. "Oh look at me I learned how to spell nostalgic and now all of the sudden a fucking orchestra follows some internet reviewer into a fucking forest." The figure said mocking the author.
"Who the fuck is this?" Yang asked the author who was rolling in the corner giddy as this part was typed.
"Ugh...Heeeelllloo I'm the Nostalgia Critic and I remember it so you don't have to." the man said in monotone, as if it was a chore to say it.
"Wait. What the fuck is going on here?" Nico asked.
"Hey listen kid, I'm here because before this the dialogue was shitty (Still is),the plot was undeveloped, ideas were running short, and you guys got a lazy piece of shit for an author. So I am here to attempt to sum up the plot holes that were big enough for a motorcade to drive through." The Critic said.
"Ok, makes a little sense, but seeing as the readers may start to get pissy let's pretend there was ever a fourth wall." Yang said confused.
"Good idea, now step one to a good story. Have a likable character and then kill them." The Critic said.
"What does that…" Nora managed to get out before she was shot.
"There that should do it." the Critic said with a smug smile.
"I know, I know. I really am your Jesus." He said.
"I don't think that was what she meant." Blake said apparently unphased by the murder.
"Oh...well….here are my Nicolas Cage bear jokes." He said as he started to make fish faces.
"I think we broke him." Annabeth said.
"WHAT THE FUCK NOSTALGIA CRITIC." Yang yelled."SANTA CHRIST, I SUMMON YOU!" The Critic said as he ran off into the forest.
"Should we keep track of him or…" Nico said awkwardly.
"Well you mentioned it, Yang is pissed, I'm tired, Nora is dead and Annabeth is being weird, so got get 'em tiger." Blake said as she pushed Nico in the general direction the Critic ran.
So Allan did this in one of his future works that I read recently (The narrator reading something in between chapters, not whatever the fuck just happened) and I just liked the idea and potential for polluting your minds with shitty comedy. So Imma do that. To be clear the narrator is just bold. I'm bold and italicized and Allan is just italicized. So who was that "Nostalgia Critic' guy? I don't think we saw the last of him do you? Well of course not you fucking idiot Nico is following him. God am I doing all the fucking work here? You know what I've got people to fuck. Screw you guys...I'm going home. Well that was fun while it lasted..umm enjoy this next part while I make some calls and hire a new guy.
Line_Break_Neo_First_Person
Why am I here? Because dipshit can't keep his storylines straight. Anyways as I promised in the first chapter of SIlent Striker I will pick up slack where I see it is necessary. So I guess you're wondering why exactly I am here as far as a storyline? Well if you would stop asking so many damn questions about things such as "continuity" and "logic" I could get to that part.
Now this is a backstory all about how, this story got flipped turned upside down. And I'd like to take a section just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became a part of Undead.
So I was just walking through Vale deciding what I was going to do with my day off since Cinder was nowhere to be found and Roman was leading an empire that rivaled the Greeks (AH!). Anyways so then Ruby runs up to me and I'm thinking "Isn't this the wrong story for such tomfoolery" and then when she got closer. *BOOM* she knocked me the fuck out. I awoke tied to a chair in a room with a swaying light as I overheard two voices in the background.
"Weiss, I'm telling you that the swaying light will make us look badass." one of the voices, which I immediately Identified as Ruby's, said.
"Ugh, you are such a dolt. Let's just go talk to her." Weiss said.
"Fine...Can I,,," Ruby started.
"Drop the gasoline, car battery, and blow torch you fucking peasant." Weiss finished. I was all busy feeling grateful Weiss had told her that as Weiss came in the room and turned on the other lights. The dark room I was in was suddenly revealed to be a bathroom with a desk lamp tied to a shower rod swaying next to me. Nevertheless, impressive-ish on a budget.
"Listen we know you are from Silent Striker, and you are actually pretty good over there according to corporate." Weiss explained.
"Yeah, What is this going to?" I asked.
"Ah straight to the point I see. Well that's going to be on the test." Ruby yelled as she got in my face.
"Ruby..shut the fuck up!" Weiss said.
"Umm." I said feeling a lack of words. This was the weirdest interrogation ever.
"Anyways, the author is being a lazy fuck and we need you to step in, say some things, fill in while the author tries to find a replacement narrator." Weiss said shoving Ruby away.
"Ah, ok. So why was this weird interrogation process?" I asked with a laugh.
"That was all Ruby. She gets these weird ideas in her head sometimes, I mean I've been trying to fuck the stupid out of her, but to no avail I'm afraid." Weiss said looking at Ruby who was making faces at herself in the mirror.
"Wow, that's a story on it's own. Why not tell it, save me the trip out here?" I asked.
"C'mon, we said no lemon. let's at least pretend that still holds true for a while." Weiss said with a smile.
"Ok, so what now?" I asked.
"We have the writing editing te...person cut to when I have untied you and then you are walking down the stairs." Weiss said.
"Won't that be a little confu…"
So I was walking down the stairs on my way out of the dorm. I heard two voices in the lobby I couldn't quite make out. As I got closer I heard them more clearly, and swore that I recognized them.
"No, no, no. Dude we have Neo come in at this point and do something while we try and hire that guy that played Mace Windu to narrate." The first voice said. What the hell were they talking about?
"Yea, Yea, Fine you fuckin ass, but when does Batman come in?" The second one said.
"Never you fucking idiot." The first one said. I slowed down and hid next to the corner of the stairs and listened in on their conversation.
"Why can't Batman come in?" The second one asked. The voice sounded really familiar and I couldn't quite place it.
"Because it doesn't make sense." The first one said. The voice sounded much like the author, but something wasn't right, dumbass said he was going to stop the fourth wall breaks.
"And the Nostalgia Critic shooting Nora does? Don't be a fucking moron you idiot." The second voice said. I swear it was the Co-Author Allan, but Allan was a jackass. I peeked out and saw those two fuckfaces on a computer pointing to the screen.
"See if Neo comes down the stairs we can have her meet another character. Maybe Winter?" Ghost said.
"Oh, is that a ship?" Allan asked.
"Ah…..Sure why the fuck not." Ghost said. I watched as they started to disappear. I jumped out from the corner and almost hit Winter as she replaced the shitheads.
"Oh, hey Neo. What's up?" Winter said obviously flustered. You see this is when shit got weird. Real time stopped and I was transported into a room somewhere where the two shitfaces seemed to be wroking on this right in front of me.
"And ya see…" Is all that Ghost could get out before I hit him with a fuckin chair.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I yelled at him.
"Well you see, I'm a lazy little shit, have little to no ideas about what I really want to do with this and it's 7 A.M. on the day this has to be posted. Which normally would be fine but see I've been up for 2 days and I need this decently long, have to fulfill promises I've been making to the fans I think I have and still have a long way to go. So I am fixin to make this part smutty like I promised and I am using a "Sure why the fuck not" ship to do it" He explained.
"Oh well carry on." I said understanding where this was coming from.
"Well I can't do that. I am too interested in making this semi realistic so it would take 18 mother fucking chapters to get you to in bed. But you see I ain't got that kinda time. So under the excuse of "Neo knows too much" more drastic measures are inbound." He said as I was teleported back to regular(In a manner of speaking) land. When I got there Winter was completley naked masterbating with my perisol to a picture of me.
"Real fucking subtle you fucking ass." I whispered hoping that asshat would hear me (I do you fuckin hoe)
Oh I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration Well that's too bad mothafucka. I swear Ghost I ain't ever gonna forgive yo ass for this shit. Anyways this smut may or may not continue later. So I just want to ask you, what does Marcellus Wallace look like? Here we go…(Idk I kinda like him maybe keep him?(Seems to say mothafucka a lot...I like it))
Line_Break_Yang_First_Person.
I should be used to contemplating life at this point, and I am sure one day I will. Unfortunately today was not that day. I was walking back to Beacon with Blake and Annabeth when another bright light ran across the sky.
"God fucking damnit." I said.
"That guy really fucking hates us." Annabeth said.
"I guess we have to go that way."" I said
"No we don't." Blake said.
"What do you mean?" Annabeth asked curiously.
"Well if we walk over there we give in to him. If we just ignore it, eventually he will get tired and stop. But if we give in and walk over there he will see it works and he will keep doing it until eventually there is no more forest and we will end up meeting some fucking idiot and our lives will get harder and more bizarre." Blake explained.
"Fuck you and your logic Blake." The author replied.
"Ya, Blake this kid is one lab accident away from being a supervillain and here he has phenomenal cosmic power. I'm just worried if we defy der fuhrer that he will end us." Annabeth said.
"Huh..Alright alright alright." A voice said from a car pulling up.
"Get the fuck out of here you Lincoln selling fuck, WRONG SCRIPT!" Annabeth yelled.
"Nah, it says Undead brawler revival." He said.
"Let me see that." I said grabbing the script from the man.
"He's right, but not until the next act you fucking tool." I said giving him his script.
"That's what I love about high school girls man. I get older, they never do." He said laughing to his friend as he drove off.
"Alright so anyways I'm going to go with Yang since she is telling this part." Annabeth said.
"God damnit guys, you can't keep doing this, He is out of control." Blake pleaded.
"Well I don't wanna fucking die, So yea imma go this way." I said walking towards the light.
"Same." Annabeth said following me.
"WELL SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M GOING HOME!" Blake said.
Sadly young Ms. Belladonna was killed walking home. She was kidnapped and fucked to death by hippos. But that is a story for a different line break. (Got this cool British guy now, he's pretty good)
"She had a point." Annabeth said. I was about to respond when she fell down a pit.
"Well I'm sure you will have a few more lines before your death." I said. I was getting pretty damn tired of the fucking author killing everyone, but then again, that is what happens when you talk about fight club. I reached the crater about 7 or 8 and I yelled to cabbie."Yo holmes smell ya later!"
I walked up to the crater. Some…...creature was crawling around. "It" had a beard, was about 17,000 pounds and had more craters on her face than the moon. She looked up at me with glasses the size of Texas and a river of snot the size of the Mississippi running out of her nose.
"ARE YOU OF THE FIRST ORDER!" It yelled with a voice that sounded as if nails on a chalkboard somehow fucked a hippie. It sounded like the scariest thing in the universe….a Tumblr Feminist.
"Umm." I said wishing I hadn't left Ember Celica back at the dorm.
"DO YOU LIKE THE MALE SWINE!" It yelled back at me.
"Ummmmmmm." I managed to get out. It took in another breath to talk as it's head exploded.
After the bits of skull and fat rained down over the carcass I saw a figure in the smoke. It was holding a rifle over it's shoulder and had a pencil in it's mouth like a cigar. It started to walk over to me. It reached me before I realized what happened.
"Those things really don't have brains." He said. Now that I saw him up close he had shaggy red hair kept under a fedora. He wore a Legend of Link Jacket and neon orange pants. He wore glasses and had freckles all over his face. If from the red hair, video game attire, fedora, and freckles you couldn't tell this guy was fuckin translucent pale.
"Uhh...Arn't you the co-author." I asked recognizing him.
"Yup, the name is Allan Phoenix. You could only imagine in your wildest dreams...or in my bed...standing offer….how that felt.
Dude I have no fucking clue what the fuck just happened. It would seem our asshat authors have a plan. (Be afraid VERY afraid.)
Line break_Batman_Third Person
Batman stood crouched in a tree observing an old, silver haired man. He was the target of some evil villain. This man was the headmaster of some a school that trained warriors, a place he might have attended had he not been all of a sudden teleported here in his thirties. He also needed to find whoever brought him here and why.
He heard a rustle and the talk of two kids beneath him. He quickly dropped down from the tree and took out a batarang.
"Who are you?" The one girl squealed.
"I'm batman," he said.
"Who's that?"
"Batman," Batman growled.
"Dude, what the fuck? I just came out here because the Ursa's are having happy hour LSD and her I run into you? What gives you the right?" The girl screamed.
"Because I'm Batman," he said, as if it was obvious.
"WHO THE FUCKS THAT? I JUST WANT TO GET HIGH, WRITE A STORY WHERE A SUPERHERO GANG BANGS A FEW CHICKS BECAUSE LOGIC. SO I AM GETTING HIGH TO FO THIS AND NOW YOU COME OUT OF NOWHERE!" The other girl was just a little pissed.
"Wut?," The first girl looked at her companion.
"Um nothing… say I hear that Ozpin has been looking for new instructors and convenient plot devices, can you help out?"
"Thank you, civilian, I'd be honored," Batman stood up all the way and followed the two girls.
"Who are you?" Ozpin asked when Batman entered,
"I'm Batman and I am here because the author got high one day! And also some other important shit, I think," Batman replied, "also I heard you needed convenient plot?"
"You make a compelling offer. I assume you are well versed in something? If only 'Deus Ex Machina Fu'. If so, I would love a new instructor even if he isn't permanent," Ozpin offered.
"I have to get back to Gotham but I can help teach your kids in the meantime," Batman offered.
"I look forward to it, I need you to show me what you can do, I have a few kids I want you to tutor specifically, kids who may or may not actually have happy fun fun times with a batarang" Ozpin lead Batman into a separate room, going over what he would need to do.
Line Break_Various People_First Person
I guess I have to narrate. Well the universes we have created have given way to many interesting people. Mostly SS but I digress, See in that story we really let the audience have the finger. Both barrels of it. This is a compilation of some of our favorite NPCs from video games and Characters we have created. Enjoy.
Our stoned truck driving buddy.
Have you ever tried smoking Girl Scout cookies? Not the strain of pot, but actual cookies. Well if you haven't don't. I just got out of the hospital for it(to be completely clear I have no idea wtf happens when you try and blaze a Thin Mint). I tried lighting up a joint that I rolled a thin mint in and then it erupted in a cloud of smoke that tasted like mint. Then I passed out. Anyways I walked over to my IFrenchGuy InABox. I pressed the button that looked as if it were it's bellybutton and began talking.
"IFrenchGuy InABox, is it cold outside?" I asked it
"Ah, How 'bout you look out the fucking window you little puritan fuck. Ah look at you, why you no give the baby a cigarette? I give the baby a cigarette, "Ah smoke you little shit, life is so sacre bleu" Ah but the Valeia…" Is all it got out before my old friend, a pal to me and you, the reason life is worth living….. IJamaicanGuy InABox shot him square in the screen.
"IJAMAICANGUY!" I screamed. *BANG BANG BANG*
IJamaicanGuy InABox
Yea I may have shot him, But you can't prove that in a court of law man aight? Aight cool, aye you need some spleef real quick? Mind if I do? Aight so this is how it be mate. So I be sitting on this self after some Chinese toddler built me, then the asshat on the floor comes over and buys me with a fuckin coupon as I am talking to my one love in this world IIrishGirl InABarrel. So then I ride around the country in the back of his fucking truck getting contact high off the weakest weed I have ever smelt. Then he hits this Ice Cream looking bitch and ditches whilst carrying me, but then gets hit by a barrel of bricks from the 14th floor dropped by some crazy Irish guy. So then this dumbass keeps running but dropped me on the side of the floor. So then some random girl kidnaps me...and I was so high I don't remember anything after that….until now when I shot that French guy and the dipshit. Now I am off to find my IIrishGirl InABarrel.
After about an hour I reached the Mal-Wart where I was sold. It was a very emotional moment, being here again. The place where I first knew, spent 3 years. I just felt so...horny. That Irish unit was in there and she had the processor like POW, and oh my god 'dem audio jacks. I got inside the store and back to where I used to be located and to my surprise she was still there.
"IIrishGirl!" I yelled.
"Oh my stars, it's the bloody Jamaican pervert. Are you takin a piss. What the bloody hell are ya doin here?" She said.
"Let's make a little unit." I said.
"What the bloody hell is the matter with you?" She asked.
"I have been in the back of a truck for 15 years and I want to...FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!"
"Eh sure Wtf can go wrong." She said. She opened the slot in her case as I withdrew my Sync cable.
"Wow...Your cable is so big. Is that a usb charger?" She said with a lustful grin.
"Not the Micro baby, the full USB." I said walking up. I shoved my cable in her charging slit as she moaned the confirmation pin. I jiggled it until I established the secure connection and then I transferred my data. I unplugged and layed next to her.
"Was it good for you?" I asked cleaning my cable.
"Hell ya, you have such a complex encryption." she said biting her lip.
"Thanks, hey that unit thing was bullshit." I said.
"I know, you wore a case right?" She asked semi-concerned.
"No..I thought you were still on the warranty!" I said nervous.
"F.." Is what she got out before I killed her. Now to finish the job *BANG*
The moral of the story kids, wear a condom. Remember No glove, No love. What the fuck am I doing with my life? What the fuck did I just witness? Anyways Let us check back on our friend Nico and the strange one known as the Nostalgia Critic.
Line Break_Nico_First Person
Is it wrong to jerk off onto a grasshopper? Not asking personally…..it's for a friend. Anyways I was following the fuckin critic. This guy was all over the place yelling about Santa Christ whoever the hell that is. I had to sprint to catch up with him, he had supercritic speed. He eventually stopped when we came to a cabin. I followed him as he went inside. It looked dusty and broken. Inside was a different story it was air conditioned and was nice and peppy. All around the house were these posters that had a man that looked like the critic. They looked like movie posters.
"Who is the guy in all the posters?" I asked.
"Oh, that's Doug, he's pretty cool. A lot like me though." He said. The Critic started to rummage through a bunch of things and eventually grabbed a gun out of his deep freezer. He put it in his pants and stared out of the window. I came up to him and was about to ask what he was doing when something caught my eye. A man the looked like Nicholas Cage was in a bear costume running along a trail. He got to the end of the trail to where a girl and a woman stood in front of a crowd. The woman looked as if she said something brief before Nicholas Cage knocked her out.
"What the fuck did I just witness?" I mummered to no one in particular. The Critic whipped around to face me and grabbed my shoulders. He stared at me for an uncomfortably long time as a grin slowly crept across his face.
"The future my son." He said after a while. A tear caught his eye. "The future." he whispered.
He walked into a room that was painted a baby blue and smelled strangly of soap. He grabbed a giant bottle and a big stick with a hole at the end. He dipped the stick into the bottle and brought it an inch away from his face and blew into the hole. A bubble floated out of the stick.
"FUCKING BUBBLES!" He yelled.
"Whallot the fuck?" I asked.
"Go turn on that camera and watch the magic." He said sitting at a desk I swear wasn't there
a second ago. I looked over and saw a camera on a tripod aimed at the desk. I walked over and turned it on.
"Hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic, and I remember it so you don't have to" He said exaggerating the Hello. "These are my Nicolas Cage bear jokes." He said. The wall turned into a green screen and I heard audio playing from the roof.
"WAKA WAKA WHORE. *punch.* ugh
Papa bear says this bitch is too conscious! *punch.* ugh
The Bearington family says hi! *punch.* ugh
Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Winnie the..SHUT THE FUCK UP! *punch.* ugh
The bear necessities would like you to get more acquainted with the ground! *punch.* ugh
Gummy bears, bouncing here and there and in your face! *punch.* ugh
Sister rose? Meet brother bear.! *punch.* ugh
I hear you've been harnessing pic-a-nic baskets! *punch.* ugh
Paddington told me we should meet face to fist! *punch.* ugh
Can't get enough of that Golden Crisp. It's got the crunch with punch! *punch.* ugh
Annnd the number one Nicholas age bear joke is…
Only you can prevent not getting your ass kicked by Nicholas FUCKING CAGE! *punch.* ugh
Ya, Play me out Paul!" the Audio played.
My sides hurt so much from laughing that I collapsed on the ground and passed out.
The last thing I heard was him saying.
"OH, fuck you movie!"
I like that. Let us delve deep into the minds of Ghost and Allan now and find a memory(or mammary(or both)) triggered by Iron Skys.
Line Break_Who gives a shit anymore_First Person
Sit down mein children. Listen to the tale of our former home. The moon. For years after Hitler it was our base of operations for the fourth reich. Until one fateful day, when they invaded. It was the fault of the Americans. Nobody tried to stop them. The day the first Mormon space shuttle arrived we we able to defeat them. But apparently these people fucked like Catholic rabbits because they just kept coming. But I will get into that later, for now you must know how we got here. After the fall of Normandy the Fuhrer financed a mission to keep the Reich alive. He sent 500 super horny men and women to the moon along with supplies to build a base. The astronauts were so horny that all the women were pregnant by the time the rocket launched. When they landed it was slow going because they had to stop for stupid things such as oxygen and food. However after a few months they were able to build a self sustaining farm and had the basis of a shelter with an oxygen farm. By the time the war was over down on earth our numbers had tripled to 1500 and we had a base the size of Czechoslovakia. We had a good life. The children learned of the Fuhrer's bravery, the men were trained into the Army and the women took on roles of maintaining the base. By the time the Mormons invaded we had over 100,000 in numbers and 450,000 of them were soldiers. They had caught us with our pants down so to speak. 70,000 men had killed themselves earlier that year after a herpes outbreak. There were 50,000 more women than men and the birth rate was lowering from x2 every 9 months to just replacement value and falling due to rampant lebianism. Well you couldn't blame them. There was nothing to do but fuck. That is what gave way to the high birth rate. But one man can only fuck so much. There was bound to be some...let's call it "cat" eating at some point. When the Mormons invaded for many months we held them back. We had few casualties until that day. I was there. A young officer in the SS (Rose branch) with only 60 children at the age of 30( low for the base)(don't read too much into the math) I saw it. The Mormons sent a space shuttle of 300 men on bikes wearing suits. but when they were coming into range of our rifles they started to converge. They turned into a mech that was over 9000 feet tall. It rushed us and destroyed our trenches. I made it out with my life and made it back to the base while it swatted our howitzers out of the air like flies. I managed to load 13 escape pods and then the base shattered. It had found me. It began destroying everything. I jumped into the last escape pod and launched myself and the eight women inside to the safety of earth. The monster lashed out and a bike barrage took out 3 pods and sent ours spinning into another. The impact knocked me out.
I want what you guys are smoking. Umm next story I guess….
Line Break_Blake_First Person.
I was walking back to Beacon when it happened, A man in a black uniform stood in the middle of the road aiming at me with a luger pistol. I turned to escape him and caught the butt of a rifle from a soldier. I immediately crumpled to the ground and was drug half conscious through the forest for at least an hour. The men drug me into a clearing where 5 men with knives approached me. They tied me to a gurney and took my weapon and my bow off and threw them off in a vague direction. Then there was a sharp pain in my side as one of the knives ripped through my pants into my skin as the men cut off my clothes. I felt the pain of the cuts followed by the wet and warm sensation of blood coarse over me. When they were done I was bare and covered in bleeding cuts. They untied me but I was too weak to move, all I could do was whimper at the pain.(This is weird. I just started reading blood rose. So that's why this is this.) The men made me kneel down next to a fire where I was sure they were going to execute me. I had no such luck. 8 hippos came out of the nearby river with dicks the size of Montana. They circled around me and had their way. I felt myself choking on each one as they pounded me for hours. When the first one came there was so much that I drowned in the river of it. My last thought as it seeped into my lungs was "Are you fucking serious? Ghost you're an ass. I'll be back...I hope." then my vision went black and I stopped feeling.
Oh god this is fucked up. I've got nothing.
Line Break_Oh who the fuck cares anymore_Thrid person
Chiron hasn't been drunk in years. So it came as no surprise that when something crazy was going to happen. A poodle learned that the hard way. See one day it was just walking by some pine tree when randomly out of nowhere someone grabbed it. On the way it hit its head and got knocked out. So when it awoke it found itself in a very odd position. Its ass was being stretched by a little horse cock. Pumping it up and down over and over again. It was quite the painful experience amplified only when the thing came and filled it all the way, there was way too much for it. It wasn't long until it began to take its toll. The next day that poodle would be found dead filled with cum and to this day six years no one knows what did it.
I have no fucking idea what the fuck I just read.
Line Break_THE MOTHERFUCKING BATMAN_WHO THE FUCK CARES. BATMAN!
Hazel walked into the hotel show she was staying in. Batman was wearing nothing save his mask, a batman symbol on his chest and Bat shaped underwear with a utility belt.
"Hey," He said.
"Um… hi?" Hazel was a little flustered.
"Just say yes and we skip all of the boring dialogue, and I can tell you right now, I am a good fuck," Batman smiled at her.
"Yes?" Right after Hazel said that Batman threw batarangs cutting off her clothes, leaving her completely exposed. Then he pounced.
He went in for the kiss and Hazel accepted. Soon she felt something sliding into her.
SHIT! He wasn't wearing a condom! This was going to end up like that IJamacianGuy story! Shit, shit, shit! Of course when Batman started to thrust Hazel forgot everything, it just felt so damn good! No wonder he was the only guy to fuck almost all the women in the Justice League and perform better than most of the super powered men. It wasn't long and after Hazel came multiple times that Batman finally finished and she passed out. It was at this moment when a bunch of guys dressed as him walked in and a few other girls.
"You're late," Batman brushed himself off as he stood.
"HOLY SHIT! What happened to Hazel?" One of the boys yelled.
"She passed out from the pleasure, man I got Wonder Woman who has superhuman stamina to cum before me, I can handle some teenager," Batman bragged.
"Wow, oh yeah so we still on?" Another boy asked.
"Of course, bring them to the middle," Batman motioned to the center of the room.
He recognized none of the girls, probably prostitutes, "get out your dicks," Batman motioned to everyone and they complied.
They all whipped out cocks all of varying sizes and they surrounded the girls. It was almost an hour before all the girls were exhausted and by that point Hazel had woken back up.
"Oh! She's awake! Hazel how many guys can you handle?" One of the guys asked.
"I dunno," she said.
"At least five, but I am sure we can make this work," Batman said.
As they surrounded her Hazel realized that she had no choice so she just opened her mouth and prepped for what was to cum. Yes that was intentional.
She didn't last long, she had guys in every hole and they all took turns, it wasn't long until they were all finished and she was covered and full of cum, being unable to move. She could just twitch in pleasure as the group stood back studying their handiwork. Batman took a picture of the sight before him.
"What's that for?" A boy asked.
"My wall of fucks I gave," Batman replied simply.
In a blink of an eye Batman was clothed and then gone, he was never seen again though people speculate it was because he was never needed for the plot, or that he did come back just no one told the tale, the world may really never know.
Holy Fucking shit. A Batman gangbang.
Line Break_Stoned cabby, at least he thinks he is a cabby_First Person
It was a normal peaceful day, really I swear. But when I was making my rounds around the Beacon area I saw a strange sight. I had just exited from the seven eleven and gave the guy my weed and as I watched as a hole ripped in space. From the hole riding on the back of JonTrons were a Space Nazis. Dressed in SS uniforms, the words Neo's Gestapo written on them they descended and they lead their trusty steeds of JonTron forward to meet with what seemed to be an army in the street.
They all seemed suspiciously familiar like only four people were doing all the character. At the front was the man on Vale's most wanted list for murdering quite a few people. Behind him were ten others all brandishing weapons. Well what passed for weapons on a budget of smash and grab. Thing about a Valean smash and grab if you knew what you were doing you could get some really cool weapons. Which the doctor in the back seemed to understand as he had a rocket launcher on his shoulder made of an assault rifle, a sword, a few paper clips and a toaster. He was the only one as everyone else had some pretty pathetic things, this fight wouldn't last a few moments.
So with a scream from the man in front they charged the Space Nazis. The first guy, the Nostalgia Critic I think he was called, began to fire and kill everything. Someone who looked just like him jumped one yelling something about change and helping him out as he beat the living shit outta him. With a satisfied smile he walked off with the Nazi's coast, off to his 'Ramen Noodle cup'. Until the critic repeatedly kicked him in the crotch and told him to get back to fighting, which he tentatively did.
Another really short kid was biting the legs of the ones who came near him while his partner hit them with a bat, smashing their heads in.
The fight dragged on with the man in the mask draining the talent out of all of the people who walked near him, catching an innocent bystander in the process, making killing them easier. Another man sent out rays of light that incinerated any Nazi's the whole time a song sounding like The First Noel playing in the background.
It wasn't long until all the space nazis and JonTrons were dead and all that was left was the what had to be some sort of crime syndicate. So doing the only logical thing, I jumped out of the car and charged the Nostalgia Critic fully intending to take him down. Until I found myself stuck to the ground. I WAS FROZEN TODAY!
That was until the critic looked at me, "FOR KICKASSIA!" He yelled filling me up with bullet holes and I dropped to the ground, dead.
Well that's all for now. I hope this is crazy enough for you to hold on to for a while. Silent Striker is a priority right now and then we have other projects we really want to start. No matter how batshit insane this one gets. EVERY detail will come into play. As funny as we thought this was to write we did it with incredible care and detail and when the next one comes out everything will come together. The next one will be in the distant future such as over the summer or before school starts again. We assure you we will occasionally add to the doc when we get a crazy enough idea and the next one will be the longest thing we have ever posted and will be the most batshit insane thing ever. For now this has been GhostHatesJames and Allan Phoenix. Thank you for your time and support and fuck you people.
