2.
The drive to Alabama took about twelve hours, with the boys making as few stops as necessary. Dean hardly said a word the whole trip; he was deep in thought. He kept trying to remember that nigh he'd spent with Sylvia… the honkytonk bar, the cabin-themed décor, the Hank Williams Jr. impersonator singing on stage, it was all there, but the memory of Sylvia was wrapped in fog. He remembered she had strawberry blonde hair, wavy and flowing down to her shoulders and her outfit consisted of cut-off jean shorts, suede boots, and a South Alabama Jaguars tank top. He recalled she had a pretty face too, with deep brown eyes. Wonder if she'll have brown eyes like her mom or my green ones? Dean almost jumped in his seat at the thought. Stop it! He told himself. You don't even know if it's yours or not? Could be any Tom, Dick, or Harry's kid for all you know! He gripped the steering wheel hard, trying to focus his attention on the road ahead.
While Dean was arguing with himself, Sam had been researching Sylvia, calling all the hospitals and pulling all the birth records from Mobile, AL within the last year. "Thank you for your help", said Sam to a nurse, and hung up his phone. "So, I managed to narrow it down to three different women, all have given birth in January and all live in Mobile." Dean blankly stared at Sam, still a bit hazed from the whole thing. "Well, am I supposed to just guess what comes out of your mouth next?" said Dean, not meaning to take his frustration out on his brother. Sam gave Dean a look of disapproval before stating, "Look, it's not my fault you've slept with every woman in America! Now do you wanna hear about this or not?" Dean whipped his head back to the road, feeling like a jerk for snapping at Sam. He's right, I have slept with A LOT of women, and now it's come back to bite me in the ass. "Sorry, I'm just irritated. Go on; tell me what you found out." "Well, like I was saying, I've narrowed it down to three women." Sam took a deep breath and went through the list. "The first one's a thirty-two year old manager at Arby's, with three kids and a divorced husband." Dean shook his head, "No, no way she was in her thirties, more like twenty-one or something." Sam rolled his eyes up in his head, "Boy", he said, "you sure like em' young, don't ya?" Dean grunted under his breath and shot Sam a nasty look. "Ok, fine, I'll continue. The second one's on parole for stealing cars parts, she did time back in… oh, wait a minute!" Sam looked back at his notes, realizing he'd skipped something. "Is Sylvia Hispanic?" Dean pictured her sitting at the bar, blonde hair swept over her face, pale, with rosy red cheeks. "Nah, that ain't her; Sylvia has blonde hair and she's white." Dean's mind started racing again, Man, she was pale for someone who's in the sun all the time, wonder if the baby's got skin as pale as... Dean stopped himself, No, don't go there, not yet. Sam continued with the list. "The third one's a law student at USA, and she's twenty three." "Wait", Dean said, "Sylvia had a University of South Alabama shirt on the night we…" Dean didn't finish his sentence, he was sure this had to the the one. "Alright then, guess all we need to do now is meet up with her. Where did she say she'd be at?" "At Benny's Bar and Grill, the place where we first met." Sam's eyebrows scrunched together; a puzzled look on his face. "Why would she want to meet you there? Surely she's not bringing the baby to a bar?" Dean shook his head and said, "No, she said she wanted to talk before I met… Damnit!" "What is it?" asked Sam. "I forgot to ask the baby's name!" Now Dean really felt crappy, not only did he possibly have an illegitimate child that he'd never met, but he'd been stupid enough to not even ask what her name was. You're an idiot! Dean told himself. You're a stupid idiot
"Well, at any rate, you ought to get a blood test, cause you never know, it all could be a trick to get you saddled up paying her child support or something." "Yeah, you're right. That could be it." That thought gave Dean hope that maybe there was a way out of this whole ugly mess.
For a long time neither one of them said anything. Dean was looking out over the highway, it seemed so peaceful, he just wanted to keep on driving forever. He wanted to drive right on past Alabama, to somewhere new, somewhere without the responsibilities of fatherhood. The only time Dean had ever even came close to being a dad was when he lived with Lisa and Ben. Damn, I miss them, thought Dean. Being part of a normal family, getting to come home every night to a beautiful woman, fun-loving kid, and a home cooked meal on the table, he missed it all. Still, all that stuff didn't take away the heart wrenching pain of losing Sam, of knowing that while he was living his apple pie life, Sam, his little brother, was rotting in Hell with Lucifer. Dean could've stayed with Lisa and Ben, could've walked away when Sam returned, but for Dean, that wasn't an option, cause nothing in the world could ever take importance over Sam. Dean would never leave Sam, and now he'd accepted that. He thought he'd come to terms with the fact that he'd probably never get to have a family of his own, and now here they were, going to meet the mother of possibly Dean's child! Dean tried to focus on the highway, he couldn't think about it all, not now, he had to keep moving or else he felt like he might puke.
"Hey, Dean?" Sam's tone was soft and sympathetic, cause he knew how hard this all was for him. Sam's voice startled Dean and caused him to jerk in his seat. "Huh?" Sam looked down at his hands, trying to find the right words to say. "I was just wondering, um, what are you gonna do if the baby turns out to be yours?" Dean continued to stare blankly ahead. What AM I gonna do? Without taking his eyes off the road, Dean answered in a whispered tone, "Honestly, I haven't a clue." There was another long pause, then Sam spoke in an optimistic manner, "I mean, you could, I don't know, maybe make it work." When Dean didn't answer, Sam continued on. "I mean, you've had experience, you know, with Ben, and visiting every now and then wouldn't be too hard. Who knows, maybe this is your chance to, ya know, have a family?" Now Dean's head was really spinning. Raise a kid? How the Hell am I supposed to do that? I mean, damn, I couldn't even protect Lisa and Ben from Crowley's evil clutches, how would I protect a little baby? How'd I look after it? Would I have to stop hunting? Would I get a job? Would I be endangering it? How on Earth… Dean couldn't take it anymore. He pulled off the road so fast he almost lost control of the car. Then he hopped out and placed his hands on the hood of the car, leaning over it, taking in deep, slow breaths. Sam got out and walked over next to his near hyperventilating brother and rubbed his back in circular motions. "Breathe Dean, that's it, just breathe." After a few minutes Dean was breathing semi normally again, and he turned around and leaned against the hood, the warm breeze blowing in his face, sending a wave of calm over him. "I'm alright, I'm alright. I guess I'm just freaking out a bit. I mean, a baby Sam, a baby. What am I supposed to do with a baby? I'm a hunter, I kill monsters, I'm not cut out for this! I tried it once and I failed..." a lump caught in Dean's throat. "I couldn't protect them, and when I tried, I acted like a prison guard, just like Dad. Hell, even being a part-time Dad sounds ridiculous! What, would I just show up every once in a while, have a few laughs and head out? That's not a father, that's a bitch that doesn't give a crap?" Sam grabbed Dean's shoulder, "it's ok Dean, it's ok. We'll figure this out; we'll work it out together. You're not alone, I'm right here."
Dean looked in his brother's eyes, "Thanks man, I needed that." Sam smiled, "That's what I'm here for."
