5.
Driving back to the decapitated neighborhood, all Dean could think about was his little jenny, and if her mother was really the right person to take care of her. She's whinny, demanding, and seems to think about one one but herself! She wears nice clothes and buys nice things for her, but lives in terrible conditions and doesn't mind leaving Jenny with dirty old men; slut bag! Dean glanced at Sylvia in the rear view mirror as she pulled a rubber band out of her hair and started shaking her head back and forth, than she opened her briefcase and pulled out a compact; pursing her lips together and batting her eyes, as if to ensure that her beauty remain intact. What a whore! Thought Dean, almost saying so out loud. The car made a chocking sound as it pulled up to the scrappy house and stopped, as if proclaiming its protest at being driven back to such a repulsive place! This time, however, Sylvia walked up to the house right next to the previous one, which wasn't in much better shape than the other. On entering the house, Sylvia took Jenny from Sam's arms, stating that it was time for her dinner, than she disappeared into a back room. Dean walked around the living room, noticing the lack of pictures of Jenny, toys, or any other necessities that one would usually find in a house occupied by a baby. In fact, all there really was in the tiny room was an old, beat up, brown leather couch, a scuffed up coffee table, a stained rug, and a brand new, flat screen TV. Glad to know she's got her priorities straight, Dean mumbled in a sarcastic tone. He then sat down on the couch next to Sam, who seemed deep in thought. "So, Dean… have you decided on what to do?" Dean looked into his little brothers eyes, trying to find a way to translate his thoughts into words. "It's strange; I didn't know how I'd feel when I met her, if I'd feel weird or scared, but actually, it didn't feel like that at all! It was like… like a part of me that wasn't there before, just, suddenly was! And all the crap that we put up with every day, that all just sorta disappeared!" Dean looked down at his feet, finding it harder to breathe with every word. Sam sat up and said, "That's great! I'm so happy for…" "STOP!" Dean didn't want to hear another word. "Don't be happy for me!" Sam studied his brother, trying to understand Dean's sudden resistance. "But, I thought that, I mean, isn't this a good thing?" Dean turned his head, holding back tears that threatened to break the brick wall that lay between him and his emotions. "No Sammy, no, it's not good at all!" Sam was even more confused now. "I don't understand, if you feel that way about her, your daughter, than why is this such a bad thing?" Dean swallowed hard as the tears kept forming in his eyes. "Don't you see? I can't take care of her! By being a part of her life, I'm may be putting her in danger; every evil SOB out there would just love to find a way to break us, to break ME!" Dean was facing Sam now, not concerned with his brother seeing him teary-eyed. "If they knew I had a kid, they'd used that in a heartbeat to try and get to me! I'm not good for her; I can't protect her, don't you see?" Seeing Dean's pain hurt Sam deeply, and his wished that he could say something to ease his brother's mind, but alias, he agreed with Dean, and therefore just patted him on the back and gave him the most sympathetic look he possibly could.
When Sylvia finally returned, holding a half asleep Jenny in her arms, she held her out to Dean, stating, "I've got night classes in like, half an hour, so why don't you watch her while I go and try to get an education so I can put food on the table for the both of us?" It was more of a demand than a question, but Dean just looked at Sam who gave a little wave to Jenny and said, "I'll just be out in the car." Dean than took his baby girl in his arms, making every effort not to wake or disturb her. He then nodded towards the couch and slowly sat down, still battling back tears that had now started to dry in his eyes. "We need to talk Sylvia", he said in a low, sharp tone. Sylvia's glaring eyes were like tiny bombs ready to explode, as she clearly didn't want to fear that. "I don't have time for this! I'm gonna be late for…" Now Dean was pissed, his glare more dominant than hers. "SIT!", he demanded, in a tone that even she was afraid of. She obeyed his command and sat promptly on the couch, being very still as to not upset Dean any further. Jenny wiggled in Dean's arms, and his angry quickly vanished as he rocked her back and forth, making shushing sounds and humming Hey Jude by The Beatles, the same song that his mother used to sing to him when he was a boy. After a few seconds, Jenny fell right back to sleep, obviously very pleased with her Daddy's choice in lullabies. "Look, Sylvia, I can't thank you enough for calling me and letting me come down here and met… met her, but I can't be a good father to her." Sylvia was about to protest when Dean said, "Nuh uh, let me finish." She rolled her eyes but kept her mouth closed, not wanting to enrage him again. "You don't know much about me, but my line of work is… well… it's complicated, and by that I mean dangerous. My job is to protect people, and to do that I have to ward off anything relationship wise, to keep a distance so that my enemies won't hurt others to get to me." Sylvia raised her brow, intrigued by Dean's statement. "So, what are you, and FBI agent or something?" "Actually yes! Remember when we first met, there were those strings of murders in town?" Sylvia's face got tense, trying to recall such a time. "Oh yeah, I remember. That's when all those hookers were getting hacked to pieces by that serial killer dude. Did they ever catch that guy?" Dean nodded, "As a matter of fact, my brother and I did." Sylvia looked impressed. "Well my my, ain't you the just the toughest badass that every rolled into town?" Oh gosh, how one dimensional can this woman be? "So you see why I can't be a part of Jenny's life? It's too much, and it wouldn't be fair to her." Dean chocked on the last statement, finding his spirit weakening with every passing second. " But you said you worked with your brother, and he's family? Don't you ever worry about endangering him?" Dean chuckled at that comment as it was something that he'd worried about his whole life. "Yeah, but it's different with Sammy, we both were raised into this life, this line of work together, so he knows how to take care of himself." After that there was a moment of silence before Sylvia finally said, "Well, I guess this is goodbye then?" They both stood up, little Jenny still slumbering away in Dean's arms. "Now I want you to know, that I'll help provide for you and Jenny in any way that I can. I'll make sure that you're both well looked after." Sylvia gave an approving smile, obviously hearing what she'd been waiting to hear.
Now came the hardest part of all. As Dean looked down at his baby girl one more time, a new batch of tears welled up in his eyes, and this time he wasn't so quick to dismiss them. He bent down and kissed her forehead, closing his eyes, trying to savor the moment. As he raised back up Jenny opened her mesmerizing green eyes and starred at Dean, tugging at his heart strings in a way that no one else ever had before. He took his finger and grazed her check, to which she reacted by grabbing his finger, grabbing it with such a tight grip that Dean could've sworn it was her way of saying, "Don't go Daddy, stay." He smiled down at her, and gently took his finger back, than he said in a whisper, "Be good baby, and know that you're Daddy loves you very, very much!" Before tears started streaming down his face, he quickly handed Jenny back to Sylvia, than turned around and hurried his way to the door. "Dean?" Sylvia said, causing him to jerk around just as he left. "If you ever change your mind, you know where to find us." Dean grinned at her and nodded, his mouth too dry to speak another word. He then took one last look at his daughter, then walked out the door, wiping away a single tear from his face. Please God, if you can hear me, please let this be the right thing!
