To The Overprotective Big Brother of Track 17,

Thanks for the notebook! I know you said to save my thanks, but I've always prided myself in my spending abilities…

So you're Norwegian? I actually visited Norway with my family when I was really little. It was the middle of winter and our luggage was lost until the last day of our holiday, but I guess you could say it was still pretty...cool.

Feel free to make whatever snarky remark you'd like about that pun. If I wasn't writing in permanent marker, I'd definitely take that back.

What's your favorite thing about Norway? And why'd you decide to move and get a job at a failing Danish law firm? You'd think that it'd be easier to find work closer to home, but whatever, it's your life. I'm just the persistent romantic interest, after all.

I'll have you know your letter made it totally obvious you want to know all about me, so I'll write exactly what you requested. I'm gonna format it like what I think would happen if I had the super amazing chance of to meet you in person:

Me: "Hi! You're hot and I'm Mathias, can I get a name?"

You: *smacks me and walks away*

Pretty accurate, huh? In all seriousness, though- my name is Mathias Densen and you are really damn attractive, in a snarky, mysterious kinda way. I'm twenty-one years old but- fun fact- I haven't celebrated my birthday since I was eleven. There's no real point after all- every day's a party when the Drinking Densen is involved!

How'd you guess I was a college student? Was it the youthful demeanor? The terrible part time job? The unrelenting enthusiasm that serves as my only cover from the oncoming tsunami of pain that is the adult world?

(It was at this moment that yours truly looked back to a day ago when he literally wrote "I'd be the college student that..." in yet another rom-com analogy and cringed. Really should've found something other than permanent marker to write with.)

Anyway, back to all your questions about college. Your tone was definitely "genuinely concerned", but I promise you, there's no need to worry about my wellbeing! I work because I need the money for normal stuff, like food, alcohol, and a freaking cool battle axe I found at a museum (it may seem unnecessary, but trust me, freaking cool battle axes are always necessary). And I do study, just in short sessions with long breaks in between, most of which involve writing to you or drinking my German friend under the table (oh, what a life~). I'm an International Studies major, but I really want to make a living writing epic tales of fantasy and adventure! It fits, I think.

Alright, so I actually have a customer (it's a once in a night shift occurrence) and, coincidentally, the final question for this letter- do you bake? You look like you can bake.

Sorry for that terrible pun earlier,

The Drinking Densen


To The Dumbass With A Less-Than Discreet Drinking Problem,

You've confirmed something I should've already known- that you are a complete and utter idiot. Permanent marker? Really? Was there really not a pencil in sight that could've saved you (and me) from that abomination you call wordplay?

No matter. The rest of your letter wasn't nearly as cringe-inducing as I had expected, which I'll reluctantly commend you for. Just this once. I have to admit I feel a little more comfortable replying to you now that I know your name and a small amount about you, so it's only polite that I tell you my own "abridged life story"

I'm Lukas Bondevik. I am, indeed, Norwegian, and I decided to move here for reasons I'd rather not disclose at this point. I took a job at the first firm I found with an opening, and I feel as though I have an obligation to stay there as a result. I enjoy baking and do it when I find time to.

I believe that's enough to keep you from imploding with curiosity- if it isn't, then that's an utter shame, because I don't plan on revealing anything else about my personal life.

Your "first meeting" scenario is accurate to the point that I might have to rethink my theory that you lack awareness of your obnoxious way of speaking (or writing, in this case). Do you introduce yourself to everyone using that technique? That would explain how you can so easily predict what transpires as a result...

It may seem like it, but I'm not at all "genuinely concerned" about you or your college career. As I said before, it's purely brotherly instinct and has nothing to do with your immature way of viewing the world. Even so, I'll leave you with this piece of advice. If you want to become an author, you need to stop procrastinating by drinking yourself into oblivion and get to studying. Speaking of which, why are you in International Studies? If nothing is holding you back, a change in majors might be in order.

On a completely unrelated note, I'm glad you enjoyed your visit to Norway. I'm sure you'll have the chance to return one day, hopefully with more control over when and where your belongings show up. Personally, I enjoy the scenery and the myths that dominate my country, though I'm sure you've lost all interest in what I have to say at this point.

I'll leave you to think about how you can irritate me in your next letter,

Lukas Bondevik


STORY TBC (I'm think getting the hang of this *knocks on wood*)

Well, the hell on earth that is the school week is back for another five days. I'm feeling it, but I'll attempt to power through the ultimate essence of suffering that is AP Euro history homework to update this story regularly! Wish me luck!

In other news- Wowwowowowowowowow! I got some amazing reviews yesterday that made my night (and basically all of today, who am I kidding...) and all I have to say is THANK YOU! I've never felt so motivated to continue a story in my life, and this is coming from someone who literally bangs their head on a keyboard for three hours in the hope that maybe, just maybe something good will come out of it XD

Thanks again for following, favoriting, and reviewing! Until next time~