To The Slightly Sadistic Man On Track 17,

The whole "daily licorice cake picture" idea is just cruel. I mean, I know I've been calling you the ice queen and all, but don't you think you're taking it a little too far? It'll be torture enough knowing that I'll never receive the blessing of tasting a slice of your hand-baked miracle, trust me.

Anyway, it seems like someone's been to Egypt, because you're totally showing me a picture of you in denial. And I have no apologies for that one, because it's not only clever, but totally true- you like me, even if you can't bring yourself to accept your feelings. Why else would you keep sending me replies even though your method inspired, and I quote, "a horrible thought that will stay with me until the day I die"?

One day your intense feelings of love for me will hit you in the face like a lightspeed baseball or something. That reminds me...

Man, it's so cool to think you like Star Wars! I honestly didn't see that coming- I totally thought you just played chess with yourself or something in your free time. What do you do in your free time? I usually just drink with friends or bike around town, though my "Mind Lukas" is telling me you'd probably classify both of those under a single category of "stirring up unnecessary trouble".

Thanks for telling me about (possibly) little Emil! He sounds like an interesting dude and I can understand why you miss him so much (he's your little brother, so I'm pretty sure that's a requirement or something).

Speaking of missing someone, is it just me or did I completely miss the person in a wheelchair next to you every day before today? My gaze wanders your way a lot (Why wouldn't it? You're freaking gorgeous), but I've never seen anyone next to you until now. Do you know him? He's, like, really close to you even though there's an entire train station's worth of space around, so I'm guessing that's a yes.

If not, just give me the word and I'll execute my "Mathias' Magnificent Mute Swan Maneuver", which I think you've already been briefly introduced to- on paper, that is. It's much cooler in action and may or may not involve some epic theme music, which means there's potential for great embarrassment on both our parts.

Anything keep you safe from creepy guys you might not know, my dear.

Seriously though...who is that guy?

If he's a potential lover, I bet he smells like eggs or something generally unpleasant like that,

A Much Better And More Amazing Option


To The Human Equivalent of The iTunes Terms and Conditions,

The world must still be turning regularly, because even though something unbelievable occurred today, you are still your usual, obnoxiously prying self. I didn't intend on informing you about today's events, but since you noticed and took the liberty to ask, I might as well clear it up for you.

However, before I get to that, I believe some more dream-crushing is in order.

The licorice cake has been eaten. Completely. It's unfortunate news for both you and me, as I was looking forward to updating you on it's process in the most painful way possible. No matter- a few slices of cake lost isn't worth the trouble it takes to complain.

Your assumption about me playing chess was half right. I do play chess in my free time, but I haven't had a partner to play with since Emil left, so I usually opt for baking or reading. And before you get all excited because you've decided to rashly assume (yet again) that by "reading" I mean "reading you letters", I'll have you know I read actual books, as well. They're far more enriching and immersive than anything I've received from you, seeing as most of your "writing" consists of either self-proclaimed titles for yourself or the worst puns my eyes have had the displeasure of witnessing.

Who the person in the wheelchair is ties directly into what I plan on revealing about today's occurrences, because they are the reason I actually have information to disclose to you at this point.

The person in the wheelchair is my dear brother. Yes, the eighteen year-old Emil Steilsson finally decided to come back after six months of nothing and explain himself. From what I understand, it took quite a look of coaxing on Leon's (aforementioned stupid Asian boyfriend) part, but he's here with plans to stay for another week and I couldn't be more thankful.

I guess Leon isn't as much of a careless, brother-stealing freak as I had originally thought (Just don't tell him that- I bet his ego is big enough as it is).

I'll admit I was absolutely furious when he first called me from the airport, but who wouldn't be at four in the morning on a workday? Once I saw him though, I was just happy to see my little brother again, safe and in one piece. The way his presence so easily affects my emotions makes me uncomfortable and writing about it makes it even more so, which is why I'm going to stop informing you about it now.

Please, take that as a lesson in self-control and learn when to stop with the god-awful puns.

Stop attempting to one-up my nonexistent lover, stupid,

Lukas Bondevik


STORY TBC

Yup! Emil has literally rolled into the story (I'll see myself out) and the elusive mute swan has returned, just as I promised! That's it for today's twist- no need to fret, there'll be plenty more where that came from~

Not what you were expecting? Exactly what you were expecting? Let me know!

Anyhow...thank you for reading, reviewing, following, and favoriting! I would treat you all to a nice slice of Lukas's licorice cake if I could :)