To The Number One Dream Crusher On Track 17,

Well damn.

I swear, if you could listen to what's running through my head right now, you'd hear a whole lot about me wanting a sandwich. Oh yeah, and a ton of jumbled syllables that can't be considered coherent speech due to the fact that your own escapee brother has set foot- er- wheel in Denmark without any warning. Mainly the sandwich thing, though.

Why, you may ask? I haven't had anything but beer from my bomb-ass Lego thermos since this morning and I'm kind of broke because I bought said bomb-ass Lego thermos. It's okay- I get paid tomorrow and plan to be responsible with the money for once. Emphasis on plan.

Since you have your brother here now, and I'm sure you're having the time of your life telling him off for six months worth of mistakes, so there's no need to letter-lecture me about my "irresponsible approach to life".

For some reason, I didn't picture your brother being in a wheelchair. Probably because you never really wrote anything that suggested he was, but that's not the point. OH MY GOD- maybe you didn't know he was in a wheelchair until last week either…If that's the case, your life really is like a shitty drama I watch to avoid adult responsibilities!

That being said, I'm really happy you're getting the chance to talk things out with your brother. How'd it go? Are you going to visit him in Iceland? Most importantly, what have you been doing with him for the past five days? I know you haven't been going to work (at least not by train) because I haven't been able receive or reply to a letter since last Monday. Do you know how painful it's been without my daily dose of snarky reality?

Seriously, I think I'm going through Lukas withdrawals.

Looks like that's all over, though, because you and the Steil Wheel (yes, I'm going to call him that from now on) are waiting for the last train of the night just like always! I don't know if you noticed, but Emil caught my eye earlier, so I decided an enthusiastic wave was in order. I think your brother might have a problem with his thumbs or something, because all he did in return was stare at me and give me a thumbs down.

So yeah, I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but I can totally tell you two are brothers- even if you don't share the same father or whatever it is (your answers are really vague).

Please go back to your regular train schedule soon,

A Letter-Lecture Addict That Needs His Fix


To The Money Drain That Is Mathias,

What is it with you and unnecessary purchases? First a battle axe and now a Lego thermos that you use to hold beer for some reason...it only gets worse with you.

Anyway, Emil read your letter over my shoulder and he told me to tell you that he'll "rip your arms off and smack you with them" if you call him the Steil Wheel ever again. He also said that there's nothing wrong with his thumbs, he just "doesn't like your face" and thinks "it's obnoxious". For once, I'll thank you- you gave us the opportunity to bond over instinctually knowing you were an idiot from first glance.

You were correct in that I didn't work much this past week. When I did, it was from home, but that doesn't make it any less hellish. Though he leaves tomorrow, my time with Emil was...interesting...to say the least. We talked a few things over (most of which have left me questioning both of our past decisions), however most of our time was spent touring the area and resolving long-disputed chess matches.

Reuniting with Emil gave me a chance to rethink my job choice, and though nothing is set in stone at this point, there's a small possibility I may move sometime this year. Don't get too upset- I'm sure you'll find a way to annoy me no matter how long the distance between us may be. There's a reason I've only approached you through letters- and it's not because I'm afraid of falling in love with you upon our first meeting or whatever cliche excuse your brain has been formatting when you give it the chance.

Emil has been in a wheelchair since he was fourteen, so no, it wasn't a surprise to see him in that condition after a measly six months of being away from him. He was in a car accident. I believe you can fill in the blanks on the rest, seeing as your mind always goes to the most dramatic option as opposed to the more reasonable, rational one.

As you said in your last letter, my life "really is a low-budget drama you use as an excuse for failing your courses". What? That's not what you said? But somehow, it still seems accurate. Hmm.

I'm seeing my brother off at the airport tomorrow afternoon, so you'll have to live another day without "vague" answers to your impulsive questions about deeply personal topics. Also, don't refer to your unstable feelings as "Lukas withdrawals"- it's most likely hunger and idiocy clouding your brain, if anything.

Use your money wisely and return that battle axe,

Lukas Bondevik (with some input from Emil Steilsson)


STORY TBC

Well...I hate to say it, but we're in the final stretch (two more projected chapters to go!). Can I just say that I'm really proud of thinking up the brilliance that is "the Steil Wheel"?

I know- I'm the ultimate dork. If I wasn't, there'd be no way you'd be blessed with the great expanse of cheesy puns and randomness that lays before you!

Translation: I'm so very sorry. Can't stop, won't stop. :)

I hope you're enjoying! Thanks for reviewing, following and favoriting~