Authors Note: Story about the hiatus there, It took me a while to decide what to do next and when i finally did i started having problems with my internet connection. But anyways here it is Enjoy!
You have to set things straight now while it's still early, You've made up your mind...it's now or never. You pick up your feet and make your way to the end of the table, locking your eyes on your target, feeling weighed down with what you're about to say.
You decide to pull her aside, to the washrooms maybe, ask to have a word privately.
"Chloe-can we talk...I really really need to tell you something" Thank God you've finally summed up the courage to approach her to speak to her, maybe you've still got some liquid courage left in you.
"Oh sure," Chloe says hesitant, unsure, responding to your urgent, earnest tone "uh where can we go?"
"Anywhere but here...somewhere private it's really important" Chloe makes to stand up but Aubrey places a hand on her arm stopping her from doing so "What's with all the secrecy Becs...Do you really have to talk to her in private, what you need to tell Chloe you can say in front of all of us, I mean it's about time everyone started shedding light on what's really going on here." she says aloud successfully catching the whole table's attention.
"Yeah C'mon Beca what's with all the tension-what's going on?" Stacie asks
"Is this another big announcement, haven't we had a lot ...of those already like too many to count?" Fat Amy says half-serious,
"Go on Beca just tell her already...the truth. You owe all of us that" Jesse says, Everyone is staring at you intrigued.
"What's he saying Beca, tell me what?" Chloe finally says
"Please, Beca just do it" Aubrey says only Aubrey Posen could give such a desperate request and heavily demand something at the same time
Your throat has clogged up...your breathing really quickly, you palms are sweaty you're on the spot you'd rather have a panic attack than this, you're waiting for the panic attack...any moment now... any moment...You close your eyes for a really long moment and still yourself. Has the moment finally come, you still aren't ready..how can you be ready this came out of freaking nowhere. No someone had to bring it up, you just wanted to get through this day but you can't seem to... Thanks a lot you think staring, glaringly at Aubrey.
"Beca" Chloe says squeezing your hand comfortingly looking searchingly into your eyes. You were always a goner whenever you looked into her eyes, making you give-way to anything she wanted. You take a deep deep breath.
"I'm not really with Jesse, I lied..." the low excited buzz that has surrounded the table turns into a hush "I'm actually not with any guy these days...cos I'm gay-well sort of I'm Bi..." You don't care about them you're watching Chloe, her face shifting from confusion to dawning comprehension.
"I lied because...I don't know I wasn't really thinking. I was jealous of you and Luke I thought you two were together and I..." you can feel your voice breaking "It made me sick to my stomach, I just couldn't stand it because I love you, I've been in love with you all this time Chlo..."
You see a smile stretch across Chloe's face and your heart leaps, but then her mouth widens, opens further and she starts laughing. You feel your heart dropping...your hair stands on its end as the rest of the group starts joining in.
"Pathetic Beca that was just gold..." Jesse says wiping tears from his eyes,
"What did you think would happen?" Chloe says holding her tummy
"Stop dreaming Beca, you have to wake up" says Aubrey grabbing hold of you and shaking you-
"Ow" that was you falling out of your seat, you are jolted out of your quick nap when the car pulls into an abrupt halt in the driveway of Fat Amy's home.
"Okay everyone girls... we're here, there are actual beds waiting for you inside, so Up up!" Fat Amy's wide awake poking and prodding everyone else who isn't.
How come your dreams have turned to the tragic and nightmarish lately, it's enough that you feel anxiety during the day, you want- no you deserve actual peaceful rest during the night.
You half-consciously make your way out of the van, all the way up some stairs and stop in front of huge oak doors...complete with metal knockers.
You knew Fat Amy was of wealth but this, her what-she-called as their cozy summer home was what other people called a freaking mansion. Seriously, you can't quite find the words to describe it.
She finds the key from under the mat they do that here of all places? No one gets robbed here? and proceeds to unlock it ushering everyone inside.
You thought the outside was absolutely awe-rendering and the tip of the iceberg but you take it back as soon as you step in...
"Damn" Yeah exactly that summed it up quite nicely. Everything was just...damn. Exquisite furniture, wall to wall art, you're not even into interior design and all those kinds of things but you can totally appreciate this- it looks homey-comfortable yet effortlessly classy something only few people can get the right mix of.
"Okay everyone we have a pretty lax day ahead but breakfast is served at seven sharp, you'll need to be up if you want to get any- from the look of it i hardly doubt any of you will be so good luck with that. No worries- as incentive i'm happy to say we have a special family remedy for curing hangovers...not that i myself have ever used it. But I had Ma have it ready for all of you, just in case."
"Yay" some of you say halfheartedly, some of you, the boys mostly aren't even able to stand on their feet anymore, no way they can even make sounds never mind actual speech.
"Okay since we all want to crash I'll quickly read out your room assignments"
"Sorry what?"
"This place may be huge but we do have limited rooms this side of the house only six" Only Cynthia Rose mouths at you, you smile tiredly at her.
"It's fine we've got no problems whatsoever with that" Luke says speaking for the boys.
"We all have to share rooms...but before you get any ideas, the boys are on one floor and the girls on the other. As much as I'd like all the couples to pair up and start our own mini parties- each and every member of my family is here... and i mean all of them and they are very traditional..."
"So what there will be like... three, four to a room, won't that be crowded?" Stacie asks not sounding at all concerned, more like excited at the prospect.
"Trust me, in no way will you feel cooped up like those fish that they put in cans what are those called again...starts with a B..."
"Bass?" Cynthia Ross supplies.
"I'm thinking maybe Barracudas" Fat Amy says grinning widely, looking around for approval.
"I hardly think they'd fit in cans...and aren't some of them poisonous if not really freaky-looking and hard to catch" Jesse one of the last-men-standing says.
"Tuna?" you say getting into the spirit of things.
"That doesn't start with a B, Beca." Aubrey says between gritted teeth.
"Sardines?" Chloe gives a guess,
"Oh yeah that's the one, that's what they're called" Fat Amy says,
"That so didn't start with a B" You mutter.
"Lighten up B" Cynthia says which evokes giggles from the rest of the girls
"Whatever just let me sleep already"
You are so not in the mood, within the course of 24 hours everything has been turned upside down, you just want some peace and quiet preferably far far away from Jesse and his scathing remarks, and further away from Aubrey the ticking time bomb...
Fat Amy's leading you through a series of pathways, seriously... you could get lost here. All the while you're dragging all of your luggage- usually you'd ask Jesse to carry some of your things- but no way will he allow you any more favors. Fat Amy finally comes to a stop and opens yet another door to the first room and Wow it's massive. It was three times bigger than your old flat each with a bathroom, and sliding doors leading to a wrap around terrace. All the beds are laid out, pillows plumped and ready to be slept on.
It takes everything within you to not collapse onto one of them right at this moment.
"All previous concerns satiated, put aside... okay good" Fat Amy glances around at her barely conscious crowd expecting a response, prodding at Denise who has fallen asleep on the floor.
"I'm all for it, let's hear those room assignments already" Stacie yawns out.
"Hold your horses there cowgirl to get in the spirit of things we've decided to put your names into a cap-Benji here you can start your own for the Boys"
The Trebles pick themselves up and gather around Benji and proceed to do so while Fat Amy pulls out some strips of paper with your names in it. When did she find the time to do those? And pulls off the cap of one of the boys, he's too far gone to do anything but tiredly moan at that
"-and assign you rooms. So this is completely random and no way contrived. Girls the sleeping arrangements are..."
She does a quick beat on her chest a couple of beat-boxing backed up silently by Lily. Where does she get the energy really?
Then Fat Amy quickly pulls out two strips which she reads in quick succession.
"Beca- Chloe" you look up and give Chloe what you think is the most awkward smile ever but you duck your head just as quickly when Chloe gives a wider smile in return. Dude you are a grown woman, what are you doing blushing like some preteen with a crush. Just Argh...
"and..." Fat Amy gives an audible gulp "Aubrey? Oh man... aca-awkward"
"What?" The three of you or maybe just the two of you give an almighty roar of outrage, Chloe just sounded plain worried.
Seriously, i mean seriously...is the world trying to screw you over?
"No way am i sharing a room with...her" Aubrey says
"Your hardly my first choice either..." You say but you admit it sort of stings-and you thought you guys were on the way to being not exactly the best of friends but better friends.
No way is that happening now, you don't really know what her and Jesse have going on but it must have been pretty serious or heading that way if Aubrey's gone back to her old Beca-loathing, her usual Beca-bashing.
You can practically hear what everyone else is thinking, "Thank god it's not me and poor Chloe"
"The cap speaks. Hey look you seemed to have forgotten the third roommate is Chloe...so it won't just be the two of you." Cynthia Rose says that's right be positive, and upbeat Fat Amy turns to Chloe "Lucky girl, you get to act as a buffer between these two." The rest of the girls give Chloe conciliatory pats.
"Tough luck Chlo"
"So wait where were we? ah Cynthia Rose, Stacie, are with yours truly I need to keep a close eye on the both of you to make sure you won't sneak out."
"I can manage myself just fine" Cynthia Rose says glancing at her girlfriend, "I take offense."
"I don't, I really do need someone to keep me in line, to command me...dominate me-"
"-and of course lastly Denise, Ashley, Jessica" Fat Amy quickly interrupts before Stacie goes all Stacie and starts some sex-riot or something
"Okay everyone... boys say goodnight, Benji will lead you up the stairs then down the east wing there will be no sneaking around tonight-i'll be putting the combination on on this side of the house, if I'm not getting any neither will the rest of you."
You go up to Jesse ...a last shot at an apology you throw your arms around him "I'm sorry Jess" while he just gives a "yeah i know, I'm still pissed at you though. You'll owe me for this big time" your thankful he lets it go and begrudgingly returns the hug
"Come on, let's all just go to bed" Aubrey says walking away. Jesse eyes follow her looking quite helpless, he turns to you and shrugs "I hope it's all worth it in the end Becs" Jesse leaves after. "Yeah me too " you say to yourself, eyes following Chloe's figure all the way to your shared room.
Lights are off outside, everyone has retired to their respective rooms. Yawns and sleepy voices call to each other one last greeting before surrendering to sleep,
"I'm beat"
"Night everyone"
"Till tomorrow, lights out in twenty minutes!"
In the room the three of you stand, sit around not quite knowing what to do. You've chosen your spots in the room.
Your bed is the closest to the entrance where you've gotten comfy- lounging, having strewn your things about. Chloe's and Aubrey's are on the opposite side, closer to the bathroom. Aubrey already organized her things in their respective places, her luggage stashed away, her clothes in the drawers you think they're color-coded, shoes all in a row. OCD-much the control freak.
"Is it okay if I shower first. I feel like I've been living on a plane- I mean literally this time it was for more than 24 hours..."
"We understand you can go ahead Chloe" Aubrey says not bothering to throw a glance your way, You just roll your eyes as you continue to ignore each other.
"Thanks Bree... but is that really okay with you, Beca?"
You nod vigorously the dream has really done a number on you, where have all your words gone " s-kay" you finally croak out. Chloe doesn't sense anything's amiss, she smiles before she closes the door with her towel and toiletries in tow.
"Can you be anymore obvious" Aubrey says interrupting your thoughts when she moves to stand right in front of you.
"Sorry what?" You didn't realize you'd zoned out staring at the door. You tended to forget that anyone else was in the room when you just saw Chloe enter the washroom...there's nothing between a naked Chloe and you but a door. You were somewhat considering if there was anyway you could get it open maybe join her, save water, save the planet and all that.
"You heard me... I said obvious much?" Aubrey's standing there, her hands on her hips refusing to budge while you try in vain to get a good view of the door.
"Yeah I-I did, but obviously you are being pretty vague, care to elaborate Councilor Posen?"you say finally giving in and meeting Aubrey Posen's chilling blue eyes.
"Whatever if you want to continue being a coward that's fine with me but can you at least suffer in silence and not drag other people down in the process?"
"If you're trying to say something...just go ahead and spit it out" You finally shout.
"Okay, if you don't want to address the elephant in the room that is your freaking sexuality, then you must be real desperate if you're going for two people at the same time-it's either or...so just choose already. Don't lead them on, let them be happy.
"If this is about Jesse, Aubrey it's not what you think. Okay, it may be what you think but there's so much more that I have to explain...the truth is-"
"Why don't you talk to me when you start making sense... you know what, don't bother I'm wasting my time on you"
"What is your problem?"
"You tell me."
"I am trying to explain it to you Aubrey but you aren't listening..."
"You know what its not even you who I should be mad at it's myself- I let him lead me on, obviously he still had leftover feelings for you and jumped at the opportunity of you guys getting together again."
"Aubrey...don't be mad at him, he was just being there for me."
"I don't know what you have going on between the two of you, and i can't compete with your history but i won't be stuck in the middle of it...you can at least be honest with yourself. You know what, you were supposed to be my friend...but how are you supposed to know anything you're hardly around-I knew better than to count on you. "
"Aubrey, wait Aubrey I'm sorry."
"Go to hell Beca!" Aubrey says storming out of the room, catching you on the shoulder on the way out.
"You better be back in a few minutes Amy's going to be passing by soon, don't go far she might lock you out!" you scream after her retreating figure. All you get as an answer is a slam of the door.
"What was that about?" Chloe's back oooh sexy back...Alert! Alert! You'd think of all people you'd remember how hot Chloe was in her night clothes but what she's wearing short shorts and a tank top...goes beyond your stored memories this was the real thing, is it possible that Chloe became hotter in the past five years...Yes, she should still be confident about all that.
"You know Aubrey..and me...just catching up, communicating the only way we seem to know how." You watch as she moves around the room, hanging her towel here putting her clothes somewhere there till she starts making her way to you. You hope your eyes aren't giving of the helpless animal trapped in a corner look, cause that's how you sure are feeling right now.
"Well we have two weeks, still have plenty of time for things to get back to normal...I mean- the good kind of normal not the at each others throats normal." Chloe says as she finally sits as the edge of your bed.
"Yeah..." You say though you highly doubt it,
"Enough about me...so how are you?" Your dying to hear about her, hear the mundane things that you wish you'd never missed out on.
"I'm fine...I'm pretty happy, fulfilled, content but still single- as you know...it's been a while since I've seriously dated, can't really go there in my line of work. I'm busy all the time plus it takes too much effort."
"Yeah, I know what you mean..."
"Oh really but you and Jesse you've been together almost 5 years now? You seem to manage fine, well I guess it helps that you work together.
"Yeah...something like that"
"Maybe I should have considered Luke...everyone seems to think we'd make a great-looking couple." Trust me, not everyone
"But the guy's my close friend, my constant friend these days, you know? Wouldn't want to make things awkward lest we don't work out, so it's best to not let anything romantic get in the way of our solid friendship...but that's just me. So are you happy...with him?"
"Yeah, you know Jesse's... Jesse" It seems pretty apt to use his name to describe him, you've been doing it a lot lately. Chloe's Chloe, Stacie being Stacie, because Jesse is Jesse...he would be the perfect guy, if Chloe hadn't been the perfect one for you.
"Yeah he is, isn't he?"
It feels like you're dancing around something...something you're not quite sure either of you are ready to address, and you want to tell her the truth, tell her something, anything, everything. The words are just there, hanging in the air just out of reach...You contemplate how to break the steadily growing silence and you continue to sit there till at last you take a steadying breath and open your mouth-
"I've missed you Beca" says Chloe her eyes watery, a sad smile on her face. Her voice shaky, thin, emotional.
Steadily thru ought the conversation she has been edging closer and closer to you-like she couldn't quite keep away-and you couldn't help craving for that final contact, the connection.
Her hand make a move to grab yours, but she hesitates- you take her right hand in yours instead and Chloe responds by squeezing it. You feel your heart getting squeezed also.
"Yeah-ahem yeah me too," your voice comes out gruff, your throat's all clogged up.
"No, I've really really missed you. You have no idea Beca. It's like- wherever i went I'd see something, hear something that reminded me of you and I don't know...I just can't believe I let us lose touch" Chloe gets out, she has both your hands in hers now.
"It's not your fault, i mean-I didn't try to contact you either..."
"It kind of is... I mean throughout the history of us...of Beca and Chloe-" "Bechloe" you blurt out before you can stop yourself to which Chloe just furrows her brow, "Never mind continue" you backtrack quickly, you want to hear what she has to say.
"I've always been the one doing the pursuing...I could've tried harder, made us stay updated with each other's lives but I didn't and I'm sorry for that. Did you know that I was so nervous coming tonight. I was so worried, still am... about things not being easy, like how they were before."
You nod. Once again the two of you are so in sync...she's saying what you wanted to say- talking about her feelings, her similar apprehensions.
"But i don't know...right now...me being able to tell you this... it feels comfortable, I feel... normal for the first time since i arrived. Now it's just like old times, isn't it?"
"Not quite- but from now on we can promise to start working on doing better."
"Well we're both here now...let's just start where we left of then?"
"Yeah...sure." and to your surprise she gives you a great big Chloe hug...you are rendered breathless by the sheer force behind it-it takes everything out of you.
You feel... complete.
You let yourself have a moment of weakness in that hug. You pull her closer trying to communicate everything you are feeling, you burrow your face in the crook of her neck, you're breathing her in, letting your arms tighten around her waist and you can't help it a sob escapes, which causes Chloe to pull back a bit."Wow guess you really did miss me as much as I missed you, five years apart and you've gone soft, what am i to do with you?" You roll your eyes but you see her eyes have welled up as well. You can see every single one of her beloved features clearly from way up close...her cute nose, her lips and the silky tongue that peeks out to moisten it...
"So have you two kissed and made up yet?" Fat Amy says appearing out of nowhere and you both jump. You flush as you clear your throat and move away from Chloe "Yeah Chloe and I are all right again."
"I actually meant you and Aubrey, but seeing as she's not here... Do you at least know where that loony went and in what general direction- not say up the stairs then down the east wing?"
"You are taking this no sneaking out thing pretty seriously..." You drawl, sharing an amused look with Chloe who moves back to her side of the room, starting on sifting through and arranging her things.
"Yeah got to be vigilant so I'm just doing rounds making sure no one's up to funny business- ten more minutes and I'll have to shut off everything, everyone needs the rest for what you guys are in for tomorrow."
Aubrey stumbles back into the room just as Amy finishes her sentence, looking significantly less upset, less crazy angry. Short evening walks must really do wonders. You'll probably do that sometime, explore the grounds in private, alone, preferably with Chloe.
Alone but with Chloe. Alone time with Chloe, preferably naked. yeah woot woo.
"Oh there you are Bree, Fat Amy was just about to hunt you out." Chloe says excitedly, How can she get any bubblier seriously and in this ungodly hour, maybe her body clock's a mess from all her constant flying.
"Had to clear my head- get away, I'm much better now. If you'll excuse me I'm a bit sweaty- I'll go ahead to the washroom." Aubrey says first grabbing her things and then walking towards the bathroom.
"Sweaty doing what and with whom?" Fat Amy jumps at her, effectively blocking the pathway, her eyes narrowed.
"I was only gone for a few minutes..." Aubrey rolls her eyes.
"You never know...I always say what the mind conceives the body finds a way to relieve"
"You came up with that all by your lonesome?" Chloe wonders back to your bed she nudges you aside and you just playfully roll your eyes and sigh in annoyance whilst she makes herself comfortable under your covers.
"I'm a poet at heart what can I say? So you didn't do...anybody?
"Argh" Aubrey says as she closes the bathroom door on all of you. You try to muffle your laughter, Chloe shushes you but her hands are covering her own mouth.
"That's a no then, she's way too uptight... definitely not." Fat Amy says making her way out stopping every now and then to glance at the both of you, checking the room.
"Yeah-Night Amy we're fine here."
"Night-I mean morning to you two. Yeah I'm leaving, I'm leaving." She finally leaves casting some dubious looks at some potted plants outside.
"And i thought Fat Amy couldn't get any..." You turn on your side and lean your head on your hand while Chloe mimics you trying to get into a comfortable position.
"Fat Amy-er?"
"Yeah..."
It's weird here you were worried that Chloe and you wouldn't find a way back to each other but here she was in your bed, snuggling, pressed to your side like it was the most natural thing in the world, like you both hadn't gone five years without this.
"We have our own beds for a reason" Aubrey says ruining the moment, you seriously can't catch a break.
"That was quick." You say wryly,
"Yeah, Well wouldn't want to take up any of your bathroom time, you have a few minutes left."
"Oh how thoughtful of you, Aubrey" she gives you a look then turns to Chloe, "Chlo It's late, go to bed already.I though you were tired."
"Yes, Mom yeah better wash up Becs we have plenty of time to chat the next few weeks." Chloe says getting off of your bed while you grab your own night things-Chloe pushes you then nudges you towards the bathroom she smiles at you through the crack of the door before Aubrey closes it for the two of you.
You can't wait for whatever's coming tomorrow, you and Chloe are alright, things are finally looking up.
