I woke before the sun had a chance to peek through the gap in the bedroom curtains. The room was cloaked in darkness and as I lay here in my musings I could hear the soft gentle sound of her breathing. She was fast asleep, curled onto her side, like a sleeping angel. Everything had happened so quickly yesterday that I really hadn't had a single, still, moment where I could just look at her in all her new beauty. She was all grown up and looking incredibly fine. My heart ached at the thought of how much she had changed and how much I had missed in the past few months. I thought about how much I could have missed and felt I would weep. It was too dark a thought to imagine what this morning would have felt like if she had not came and found me yesterday. Sure I would have put on that same mask of pride, gone to lunch, shopped for furniture, the usual trappings of life, but inside I would have longed for her every moment of the day.
"Morning" She greeted me, her voice heavy with sleep.
A smile spread across my features. "Morning" I leaned close and stroked her cheek.
She stretched, contentedly, like a cat, all beautifully slender and taut. "It's still dark" She remarked.
"I've been awake for a few hours" I admitted, glancing back at that gap in the curtain, which began to show the first beginnings of dawn.
"You couldn't sleep?" She asked, absentmindedly tracing the outline of my collar bone. I loved the way she looked at me. It brought back memories of our first beginnings, when I would drink in every guarded look, every careful touch with nervous anticipation. "Why?"
"I felt like a bag of nerves" I admitted with a nervous laugh. I reached for a cigarette and offered her one in the same motion. "I couldn't stop thinking about how much you've changed"
"I have changed" She agreed and there was confidence in her voice. "I want to be with you Carol…" She stopped mid sentence to look me directly in the eye "…I couldn't imagine my life without you…"
I gripped her hand in mine and felt my chest ache from the beating of my heart.
"…but I want to be with you, I want to contribute, I want to share myself with you"
I nodded my head. I knew what she meant. If last night had been the beginning, today brought it with it negotiations. Therese was not going to slot neatly into the life I wanted to provide for her. She had some demands of her own. She was telling me in no uncertain way that I was going to have to get used to compromise. It was so natural for me to put Therese on a pedestal and admire her but she was not some suburban housewife and I was not her husband. "I understand" I said after a long moment. "It will be difficult" I admitted with a wry smile. "You seem to bring out the gentleman in me" I winked at her and saw the colour rise in her cheeks. "Shall we take some tea out on to the balcony? I think we might just catch the sunrise"
"I stood up and crossed the room for my robe. As I slipped it on I could see the surprise in her eyes and the blush on her cheeks. I came to her with a robe of her own, and she slipped her arms around my waist pressing a kiss to my bare stomach. She coaxed me onto her waiting lap, hands drawing me in ever closer. "I hear your every word Therese" I whispered in to her ear.
She nodded her head, nestled in tightly against the crook of my neck. She breathed in deeply. "I could get used to these mornings"
"So could I" I smoothed the hair from her face and kissed her cheek. "Let me fix you some tea"
