Guess what?! Another Chapter! I know I'm excited too.. lol. I've already written ahead, I think I'm on chapter 13, and editing 10-12.. and OMG.. I LOVE chapter 12, can't wait for you all to get there with me.

My house? Still not my own! But I'm learning to work around it and take me time which is writing and editing.

So, as soon as I get it done, you will get it. Thank you once again for reading, reviewing, like or hate it I appreciate everyones input. So please don't hesitate to tell me what you really think!

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Kurt Sutter is a God. FX is amazing, and I am an obsessed fan.

Chapter 9 – Best of Intentions

*I had big plans for our future
Said I'd give you the whole world somehow
I tried makin' good on that promise
Thought I'd be so much further by now
Never could build you a castle
Even though you're the queen of my heart
But I've had the best of intentions from the start

Now some people think I'm a loser
'Cause I seldom get things right
But you make me feel like a winner
When you wrap me in your arms so tight
Please tell me you will remember
No matter how much I do wrong
That I had the best of intentions all along

He knows that the two people on the park bench have heard his car approaching before they saw it. Already looking in his direction as he exited his car, he knows it's going to take everything in him to not kill anyone. They sit so close together on that bench, his best friend, and his wife. It's enough to make him lose his breakfast.

He sits across from them still wearing his sunglasses. He refuses to give either of them any sort of respect, especially since they had the audacity to come to this together.

He pushes since it seems neither of them have any intention of speaking. "I said I'd come. I'm here. What?"

Tara sits across from him, and he only looks directly at her briefly. That quick glance though exposes a woman so afraid. It use to break his heart to see her afraid of anything, especially him. He pushes those thoughts out of his head before his heart can respond to his instinctual need to protect her. That is clearly Chibs job now.

"Well?" He says to a still quiet table.

"Jackie boy…" Filip begins since Tara is frozen, but is quickly cut off.

"Jesus christ man, can you shut the hell up. This conversation is between me and Tara. I have no time for a traitor."

"Watch yourself brother. " the man warns.

"Or what? You'll send me to meet Mr. Mayhem so you can keep Tara and the boys all for yourself? I may have changed a lot but I can assure you I didn't bring a knife to a gun fight." He answers.

Chibs pulls his gun and points it at Jax's chest. "Go ahead. Pull the trigger. Pull. The. Trigger. Or put that shit away cause you have as much to answer for as I do, "brother". " The blonde is standing and looking directly into the other man's eyes. Chibs looks down at Tara who nods and he lowers his gun back into his kutte.

But as he sits down, he finds himself face to face with the barrel of Jax .38. "Point that shit at me again and I won't hesitate to pull my trigger." He puts his gun away and still standing looks at Tara.

"I don't have time for this. You said one meeting before you agree to sign the papers. This is it. It's your one chance Tara. Then I want my boys and I want to go home."

"Not just the boys." She says so faintly he's not even sure he heard her.

"Really Tara begging isn't attractive."

"God dammit it Jax, NOT JUST THE BOYS!" She finally yells regaining her voice and anger back over her fear and intimidation. He'd never able to bully her when they were together she sure as hell isn't going to let it start now.

"And you self righteous prick I'm not begging to get back together with you. Not everything in this world revolves around you and your wants and needs. Not everything is about what you think is best. I have a whole life now. A whole big, full life and family now that you're not a part of because as usual you made decision that were only based on what you wanted, or what you felt needed to be done and while your intentions were admirable it was bullshit to run from me and our kids no matter your reasons. You missed so much of the boys' life! And you've missed Charlie's entire life so far. So forgive me if I find your "I needed to grow" excuse pathetic. You made bad choices. Great, we all did. We all do. But you don't leave behind your family and expect them to understand when YOU decide it's a good time to come back."

Jax is ready to explode, but something is eating at his mind. Charlie. Why would it matter if he missed the birth of her kid with another man. "Charlie?"

"Yes, Jax. She's your daughter you jackass!" She leaves both men standing in silence and walks to sit on the nearest swing.

The two men stare daggers at each other in what appears to be a rather large pissing contest, so it surprises Jax when Chibs speaks first.

"I'll give ya guys some time. Tell her I'll pick up the kids today." He slowly walks past Jax patting the stunned man on the shoulder as he does.

Jax can't even acknowledge the man's gesture. He stands rooted to the grass beneath he feet even as he hears the sound of Chibs bike drift off into the distance. He's not even sure how he makes his feet take those first steps, but before he knows it he's standing behind Tara.

He gently pushes the swing and watches a Tara glances over her shoulder at him. He pushes her a few more time in silence before sitting on the empty swing next to her. Was any of this really possible? Was this just a cheap ploy to stop the custody battle?

Tara stops the motion of her swing with her bare feet in the sand and turn to face the man she's loved for most of her life. "She really is your Jackson."

"How?" He says so confused at this most recent surprise in his life.

"The day in the park when I thought the worst of you." She's taken back to that day like it was just yesterday…

I gave you a ring
And I promised you things
I always thought we'd do
But my best-laid plans
Slipped right through my hands
To show my love for you
And if you could read my heart
Then you'd know without exception
It was all with the best of intentions

JAX: Sit down.

TARA: What are you gonna do?

JAX: I just need to talk to you. I know you think you need to do this, but I can't let know that.

TARA: Please don't hurt me in front of the kids.

JAX: That's not what I want.

TARA: But that's all there is. There is no other ending. I have sacrificed everything for you. I have tried to see what you see, how you see it, but I can't. All I see are the lies and the violence, and how it's changed you. Turned you into a monster. I'll die if I have to. At least I know I tried to save them from becoming what you are.

JAX: I never forced my life on you. You came back to me. You're part of what I am, Tara. You always have been.

TARA: And that was my mistake. Thinking our love, our bond, was stronger than the pull of your history. But it's not. You were gonna pull them out of this, remember? You were gonna break the cycle. I know the turmoil you live with, Jax. I feel the pain you wake up with every day. And now you condemn your sons to that same torture. They will suffer with this. (crying) Can you let me say good-bye to them before you take me?

JAX: I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to hurt them. You don't have to run. Not anymore.

TARA: What am I supposed to do?

JAX: Just be a good mother. Save our boys…

JAX: Nothing will happen to her or my boys. She's free to take them anywhere she wants.
You get the real devil responsible for the death of four kids, and an innocent woman is set free...
I'll meet you at our house at 6:00. Turn myself in…

TARA: That's the only deal.

PATTERSON: I'll let everybody know...

TARA: Thank you.
JAX: I love you.
TARA: I love you

It seems like they both remember that day so vividly they are back there. He's thought about it since he was incarcerated and every single day after that. That Tara still loved him. What it felt like to hear her say those words after being absent from her voice for so long. What it felt like to hold her again. How even in the face of her thinking the absolute worst of him she still loved him. He could feel that kiss on his lips even now. So much distance closed in that one kiss. So much time lost, regained, and so much love left unspoken, written in volumes in that moment. And he remembers making love to her. He's been so long in his own head it takes him a few seconds to realize that she's knelt in front of him, her able fingers on his thighs.

"I never stopped loving you Jax. I tried from the moment I found out about her to come to you. I really thought that we'd work it out. I have never respected or loved your more than in that moment when you made your family your priority. But you didn't let me in. You never seem to let me all the way in. As much as you love me there's always something you're holding back. Some small part of you I can't touch."

He looks into her eyes and takes her face in his hands. He's overcome with so much emotion in this moment. It's Tara, and now it's this little girl he suddenly wants to know so badly he aches. He kisses her and she kisses him back, but it's soft and tentative and it's like there's a tidal wave of emotions between them that he can't wade through to get to her.

"Jax…" she gently pushes him back.

"I'm sorry." He says as he puts some distance between them again. His arms at his side, like a nervous 15 year old boy.

"Can I?" He says.

"If you want to see your children I can bring them to you." He nods still unable to form a complete sentence. "Where are you staying?"

"Gemma and Clays."

Tara looks a bit surprised that she's didn't figure that our sooner. "Charlie is out of school already, but the boys won't be out for a few hours. Meet you there around 4?"

He nods as Tara walks past him to her cutlass. He has a daughter. A little girl that needs her daddy, and he can't wait to meet her.

So here I am asking forgiveness
And praying that you'll understand
Don't think I take you for granted
Girl, I know just how lucky I am
Though you deserve so much better
You won't find devotion more true
'Cause I've had the best of intentions
Girl, I've had the best of intentions
Yes, I've had the best of intentions loving you

* Song lyrics – Best of Intentions by Travis Tritt