Hello, hello! I'm sorry I missed posting last week, but these adorable puppies are tiring me out and I'm not even the one taking care of them 24 hours a day! I know, I know, I'm complaining, but I do love every single second of it!

I hope you all like this chapter, I've loved all the responses I've been getting. Feedback and opinios are things I love! So please keep them coming!

Disclaimer: All of this belong to FX and Kurt Sutter (that amazing bastard) who destroyed me with every episode and is getting reading to do it again with The Bastard Executioner

Chapter 12 – Burning In The Skies

*I used the deadwood to make the fire rise
The blood of innocence burning in the skies
I filled my cup with the rising of the sea
And poured it out in an ocean of debris

I'm swimming in the smoke
Of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize
I'm losing what I don't deserve
What I don't deserve

The day starts like any other day in idyllic Charming California. Jax rolls out of bed around 10am, sun streaming through the open blinds nearly blinding him, his phone vibrates on the dresser across the room. Next door the distance a dog barks, and a lawn mower is heard. It's the day he's been waiting for… the day his attorney has told him to be ready to bring his kids home, all of his kids. Little does he know that a day so normal in it beginnings would bring Jackson Teller, former President of SAMCRO, prince and king of Charming to his knees.

Dragging his feet across the carpeted floor of his room he answers the phone.

"Teller."

"Good morning Jax" Lowen says. "Did I wake you?"

"Nope. I'm up." He rubs the stubble that's still in tact on his chin. He was clean-shaven when he arrived in Charming, in fact he's been clean-shaven every day since he was incarcerated and now he kinds of likes the stubble on his chin. "Got an update for me?"

"I do. The judge has granted the temporary full custody order in your favor. Seems you've demonstrated the ability to care for the minor children in greater capacity then the current custodian." She adds with a laugh, "Will wonders never cease."

Jax laughs as well, a small chuckle, "I keep expecting to see a pig fly by."

"You sure about all this Jax?"

He's not, but it's too late for that. "Not sure it really matters at this point. Where do we go from here?"

Lowen, as usual gets right to the details, "Well we have several options. First we can call the family court and have a child social services worker along with a few officers of the law serve Tara and remove the children."

"And second.." He pushes, very sure that's something he doesn't want to do.

"Second if you and Tara can come to some agreement of where and when to meet with the children to exchange custody you would them be escorted by your attorney and one court appointed civil servant to assure the transfer of the minors is completed. If you choose option 2 I can serve her in the next hour."

Jax thinks briefly about stopping all of this. Yesterday Tara slept on his sofa. How the fuck was he going to take her children away today? He runs his hands through his hair, which desperately needs to be washed, and takes a deep breath.

"Jax?" She urges.

"Give me 24 hours. Let me talk to Tara, maybe we can figure something out."

"I can give you 24 hours to decide the transfer, but like it or not her attorney will provide her with the courts decision today."

"Fuck. Then I guess I've got my work cut out for me don't I?" He hangs up the phone and immediately dials Tara.

It rings only once before she answer, "I can't believe you have balls big enough to call me!"

"Tara…"

"Don't Tara me. Jesus Christ Jax you took custody of the kids!? Charlie hasn't even spent one full day alone with you! I thought we were working this out. I thought we would come to some mutual decision. But what I'm learning is apparently your default is chicken shit, and you went behind my back and to a JUDGE to show how YOU are the better parent then ME!"

Jax just sits on the phone and lets her yell. "You done?" He says when there's a pause.

"Not even close. I can't believe I've been sitting her day and after day struggling with this, trying to figure out my heart, that I actually moved out of my home and hurt Filip over a past I had with you!"

"I'm sorry. I started all this before I even knew about Charlie, and before I knew that you wouldn't keep them from me."

"That's bullshit Jax. It's always some excuse, always some outside source when the reality is, YOU wanted your kids away from me and Filip. That is how you think of them… YOUR children. Well screw you Jackson. I will fight you tooth and nail, and don't think I won't pull out the big guns. I know things too Jax, things I've never told another living soul."

"TARA!" He yells into the phone. When the answer is silence he says, "Fine. I'll admit it. I want our kids. I want to learn who they are, and I want them to know me, and yes, I did it all behind your back. In my defense I didn't know you would allow me to know them." When there's still silence he continues. "Meet me tonight, around 6 at TM? Let's talk."

It's a long time before Tara responds, "There's nothing to talk about. My attorney says I have to relinquish custody to you and then appeal the courts decision. See, I now have to prove that I'm a good mother to a complete stranger."

She's quiet a long time before he says, "Tara…" there's sadness in his voice.

"I'll bring the kids and some of their belongings to TM at 6." She pauses briefly, "Goodbye Jax."

She hangs up the phone and he's surprised that after all the events of the past month his heart can break anymore.

He walks into the two rooms; one the boys will share and other will be Charlie's. There is some small amount of joy in knowing the kids will be here. They can decorate their room anyway they want. In his mind he's already picking out pink curtains and racecar beds.

Jax has spent the morning clearing out the two rooms and making sure there's room for the kids. Gemma's room is more then big enough for two boys. He's called Juice who was more than happy to come help and bring along a few of the prospects to help. Gemma's room is now completely empty.

Juice comes back inside from the garage where he's storing all the furniture that was in there. "Everyting ok Jax?"

Jax leans in and hugs the smaller man who hugs him back. "I appreciate all your help today. Hell, I appreciate that's you're still talking to me."

"I get it. We're all looking for that place we fit in. You and Tara, you always fit."

"Like oil and water." He laughs.

Juice laughs back, "Thing is Jax, you were always trying to be something you weren't just for Tara." Jax looks at Juice surprised at the mans words, "I know it's not my place, but she's known who and what you are since you were 16 years old."

"Things change with kids." Jax replies

"Kids need their parents to be their true selves. How else are they going to learn that it's ok to be whoever they are?" There a knock on the wall and both men turn to a prospect who nods his head at Juice. "Got you two twin beds to put in here."

Jax looks at Juice in surprise as the prospects bring in the beds and put them together.

"You may have left us behind, but you will always be a brother to me." Juice says as he and the prospects leave. Turning one last time he adds, "If you could, maybe, not mention to Chibs that we were here, that would be great."

Jax laughs and nods his head. With time to kill he checks out the newly furnished rooms. He knows they will need bedding, but decides that after Tara drops them off he'll take them shopping and let them choose. Looking at the clock, there's still time to kill so he walks into the garage and starts working on the bike. It's been almost a month and he's taken it apart, fixed it, and put it back together. The reaper shining like an angel in the work light.

All that's left now is to add some fuel and see if it works. He puts it in neutral, turns the key and presses the ignition button. The beast before him roars to life. Smiling he wipes his hands on his already greasy t-shirt and worn through boots. He tests the throttle and feels like he seeing an old friend for the first time. Nothing, except Tara ever gave him the feeling of completeness like being on his bike thundering down an open road.

Noticing the time he reluctantly switches the bike off and runs inside to change. He takes a quick glance at his phone, about a dozen missed calls, all from Chibs. He tosses the phone aside. No time to hear what he's sure are many, many, profanities. He'll deal with all that once he's at garage.

He locks the house up and pulls his car out. The sounds around him seem amplified because he's so nervous. Can that dog still be barking next door? The smells of sprinklers watering freshly cut lawn. Children playing hopscotch, the sound of police and fire sirens blaring past causing the barking dog to start howling.

He's too nervous and rolls up his windows and starts blasting music to calm himself.

We held our breath when the clouds began to form
But you were lost in the beating of the storm
And in the end we were made to be apart
In separate chambers of the human heart

I'm swimming in the smoke
Of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize
I'm losing what I don't deserve

He's passes through several stop light, slows for children crossing and pulls to the side for more emergency vehicles to pass. This ride is taking a toll on his sanity. He knows he's going to be face to face with Tara, with his brothers, and with his children. He wonders what they will think of him. Will they hate him for this?

He pulls into the deserted lot. The cars and bikes that usually fill the lot are all gone at this time of night. Only two bikes remain. Bobby's, and Chibs. With Tara's cutlass no where in sight, he's going to have to deal with them first.

He's out of his car and stand only seconds before he feels the slam of a fist against his nose. Probably now broken, it's crooked and gushing blood. He stands again to face the assailant.

"Where the fuck have you been!"

Jax tries to speak through the blood but he's interrupted.

"I've been calling you for the last 15 fucking minutes. Do ya not have the good god damn common sense to pick up?!"

Jax can't even must the energy to fight tonight, "What the fuck do you want from me man?"

The scots phone rings and he answers in a rush suddenly ignoring Jax and walks away. Bobby hands Jax a rag for his nose.

"You might want to sit down." He says.

The tone of Bobby's voice is not one he's heard since the day Bobby sat him down to tell him JT had been in an accident.

He looks up at the older man quickly, his pain forgotten, "What's wrong?"

"The Irish. Didn't like your response to the meeting the other day. They have been trying to get at the club. Want to make us hurt."

"Jesus Christ Bobby, what happened?"

"Let's go!" Chibs enters the conversation. Pulling on Jax's arm along with him.

Jax pull his arm out of the other man's grasp. "I'm not going anywhere till someone tells me what's going on!"

"Tara."

It's only one word, two syllables. And two men who love her.

Jax doesn't know how he and Filip arrive at the hospital at the same time. The bike should have been much faster. Parking, both men make their way frantically into the emergency room at St. Thomas Hospital.

The front desk attendant can't tell much. But what she can tell them makes Jax fall to his knees and Chibs hang his head in tears.

Tara Knowles is in surgery and the kids are all in critical care, unconscious.

Tonight no one would be going home.

It's in the blackened bones
Of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize
I'm losing what I don't deserve
What I don't deserve

I'm swimming in the smoke
Of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize
I'm losing what I don't deserve

The blame is mine alone
For bridges I have burned
So don't apologize
I'm losing what I don't deserve

What I don't deserve
What I don't deserve
What I don't deserve

And here's the dead wood to make the fire rise
The blood of innocence burning in the skies

*Lyrics: Burning In The Skies by Linkin Park